Hey y’all. It’s me. The fucking ghost. I made a new blog cause I can’t remember the log in for this one ( I’m on my phone rn and luckily it’s still logged in ) so if you wanna add me there, please do. Same kind of stupid bullshit but only one character.

Follow me at @bboybenjino

Hey y’all. It’s me. The fucking ghost. I made a new blog cause I can’t remember the log in for this one ( I’m on my phone rn and luckily it’s still logged in ) so if you wanna add me there, please do. Same kind of stupid bullshit but only one character.

Follow me at @bboybenjino

🐝  *  ―  𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊  𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍  𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐘  𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄.   (  send  in  a  symbol  to  receive  a  drabble  or  meta  about  a  muses'  memory.  )

🌼 ― a happy memory. 🌧 ― a sad memory. 🌹 ― a romantic memory. 🌪 ― a scary memory. 🍑 ― a sexual memory. 🌑 ― a fading memory. 🌕 ― a vivid memory. 💫 ― an obscure memory. 🎀 ― a childhood memory. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 ― a memory involving a family member. 👥 ― a memory involving a friend. 🐕 ― a memory involving a pet. 💥 ― a memory you wish you’d forget. 🗝 ― a memory you never want to forget. 🧠 ― a memory that had a big impact on you. 🌈 ― a memory you’re not sure actually happened. 🙊 ― a memory you don’t ever talk about.

i’m so over it.

my mom thought it would be super funny to make fun of the fact that i am seeking help for my mental health. i’ve been suicidal since i was young and have been in and out of the hospital. i’ve tried to kill myself so many times and have been trying to just find a way to live. my job has suffered because of this. my relationships have suffered because of this. i haven’t been able to live normally my entire life because every single day i struggle to even want to exist anymore. and she thinks that’s funny? but god forbid i tell her that hurt me because then i’m too sensitive and she was just kidding so get over it. 

would she really think it was hysterical if i went in silence and ended up dead? i was angry at first but i just feel sick to my stomach now. who does that?

sorry for one single reply, my brain has been fried from work today and that’s all i had in me. i’ll try again tomorrow.

unholyrps​:

every word that left his lips had mingi smiling, kept that soft flush on his lips. the way kowaru spoke, the way he looked at minnie? it was like he constantly had butterflies in his belly fluttering around and making him feel like it was the first day all over again. he couldn’t help it, he was a sucker for a sweet phrase. it really had the urge to scoot closer growing, and mingi wasn’t one to resist so easily. “i love you.” mingi murmured the words softly as he reached for kowaru’s hand, body moving as he shifted a little closer and intertwined their fingers. “i don’t know what i’d do without you - you can never leave me.” the last bit was said a little teasingly, though really? he truly would be a mess if the day ever came where they broke up. he already had such a hard time remembering little things, add in the heartbreak of being without kowaru? surely he would wither away to nothing, no doubt stop leaving the house again - he didn’t even want to think about it. “you should have woke me, i would have come out here with you.” was added as he gently fiddled with their conjoined hands.

‘ i love you ‘.. there was nothing more melodic, strumming his veins like a cord. each note cascaded across the room through the reverb of mingi’s voice- ah, nothing could compare. and then they touched, sending electricity throughout his nerves; he was meant for the boy. that euphoric scent brushed against his senses, infuriating the angels airwaves and almost restricting his lungs. choking, gasping for a hint of air yet.. he loved it. the light headed feelings clouds his brain and the deepest orifices throughout pale flesh grasped for any and everything mingi. “ i would die all over again just to be born once more to love you. “ nimble fingers caress and soothe minnie’s, appreciating how the soft of his flesh just graced and padded every callous kowaru had. healing and adorning; a representation of what mingi just brought to the angel. without a moment to even consider, lips pressed- no. brushed the others cheek, lingering until they just traveled to place a chaste yet sweet peck to his lips. “ you looked so peaceful sleeping there.. it was too cute to disrupt. “

HYUNJIN | 24 TO 25

ok so i really wanna play older fcs so gimme the newly divorced couple who still run w the same ~crowd~ so they have to see each other a lot? and they deal with new bfs/gfs, thinking they might still love each other, trying to Fake it Til they Make It, drunken texts @ 2am, maybe they have kids together and have 2 deal with that, maybe they?? kiss again im just Shook someone please

💐 COSMOS 💐

WHAT IS YOUR COSMOS?

unholyrps​:

mingi was crouched down, knees to his chest as his eyes scanned the water. there were a few rocks in his hand, though mostly he was watching. waiting. none were right, none were close enough. he was starting to think he would never find the right one and almost ready to move to a new spot to check when kowaru appeared. head turned just slightly to look at him, smile growing as his eyes wandered over kowaru’s face. minnie’s chin stayed rested against his knees, smile causing his cheeks to rise more as those words registered. “can i see?” he asked softly, lifting up a bit so he was no longer slouched over but still crouching as he turned to get a look at the rock. “look at this one.” he added, hand opening to show the solid black one he found, with little white speckles scattered across the black. “it’s not a match but it’s pretty, isn’t it?”

just in the way mingi perched his head; reminding the angel almost of a lost pup. it was so cute. everything the male did was so dang cute, kowaru just wanted to squish his cheeks. shifting the rock in is palm, he moves to grab the males hand and place it in his palm momentarily. “ it’s the perfect shade. i would like to keep it and look at it forever. “ a shy smile forms, pink tinting against pale flesh. his brows raise a bit and he looks over the onyx of the stone, each white spec almost like the sparkle of a diamond. gently plucking it from min’s hand, the angel looks over it’s surface. “ it reminds me of the fight between evil and light. black can take over but there will always be little shimmers of light. “ 

venxdiagram​:

— underground fighter verse

there’s ven’s stupid laughter and a shake of his stupid head, but there’s also that stupid grin on his features. having his name be called exotic was a first honestly and it only makes him laugh even more. “i guess it sort of is.” he admits, taking another sip of his drink. “my parents wanted a name that sounded good in both english and korean.” he thinks its sort of stupid, but then again he’s never ran into someone else with his name and when he was an idol… well that was a good thing at the time. “can’t say the same about your name though,” ven teases, tilting his head before he says the others name with an overly exaggerated and slightly high pitched ‘e’ sound that ends up dissolving into laughter. he can’t even keep up with his own joke!

boy, was this guy the fucking cutest. leo managed a laughter and he felt like that was an accomplishment, to see the bright of ven’s eyes was almost like a treat to him. “ well, i think that name does the trick. funny thing is, my name i think works in korean or english too. what if we met and had the same name, hm? “ with his own little chuckle, he straddles his cup with both palms, letting his head fall to the side as chocolate orbs outline the sharp of ven’s cheek to the bow of his chin. “ really? you don’t think so- “ the loudness of his name being called caused his eyes to widen a bit and yet, he let out a hearty laugh, dropping his face into his arms. “ the whole bar knows my name now, thanks for that. “

unavernales​:

“when they’re raw, yes.” to humans was left unsaid. nymphs preferred to eat them raw, as did satyrs. when cooked down or boiled into tea, alena found them far less flavorful. it reminds alena that humans are so fragile– so easy to break or erode. nym always wondered if humans could feel themselves dying. if that’s why they were so obsessed with stars and things beyond them.  

the unknown tickles my fancy– the nymph understands that all too well. they had a lot in common, more than alena thought they could have in common with a mortal. “is that where you think you’ll end up? in the stars?” alena moves to where leo is lying so nym can straddle him. there had been a lack of physical contact tonight that made alena squirmy. nymphs were physical creatures, constantly touch starved. they let their small hands rest on his chest. “why do you only like it here sometimes?” in the nymph’s eyes, earth was magnificent. so full of life and wonder.

“ raw, huh? you learn something new every day. “ so does that mean the nym could eat them? he didn’t want to draw attention to the fact he caught on just yet. leo was someone who found fondness in playing with those he enjoyed. one of the few joys he found in this forsaken life. though.. the look on the nym’s face might be way too cute to pass up.

in the stars? he wishes. don’t we all wish we could pass along the universe for eternity and visit new life, new forms of existence that are way more advanced or even less than us? porbably not. some wish to just be buried beside the one they love for the rest of their lives and leo was once there himself. but, that’s a story for another time. “ maybe when i’m an old man and i’m wrinkled so much you can’t tell who i even am they’ll have that available. but as of right now, just looking up at them is enough- “ light weight shifts to rest on the males hips and without warning, alena was above him. leo was someone with a sensual nature but he was caught off, only to rest his palms against the thin of the nym’s thighs. the moon rests behind their head, glowing brightly behind. “ sometimes being here is not good. seeing people die, spending multiple nights alone in my bed. rejection, all of those things hurt. so much that even i wish it would all go away. but times like right now, i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. “

unavernales​:

the angel was mesmerizing to alena. deft fingers, delicately sharp features, lilting voice, and there was this aura about him. this feeling of spring, summer, and frost all in one. life and death carbonized, crystallized. the nymph thinks they could watch kowaru forever. when the angel stops playing, alena gently presses against keys, just to see how it felt to play. 

“why do you say that?” it was an unexpected answer. angels were always painted to be creatures of light, faith, grace. though eni knows more than anyone that human interpretation of other beings was unreliable at best. they scoot closer to kowaru, always fond of physical touch. “my siblings have said that, too. i always thought it seemed nice–”

“ .. well.. “ a hollow reverb echoes throughout the room; why would he say that? this caught the angel off guard and yet .. how was he to explain this to the nym. a bold question, at best. hope is what you make it, hope is waking up in the morning and looking along the confines of your surroundings. hope is the look in your pets eye when they see you or in the words of those who pray. all of these answers would of sufficed. but kowaru.. he sits in silence for a moment before fingers reach to carry along the porcelain, starting a beautiful excerpt that trailed and hung on the last cord- 

“ i was born to this earth with hope stitched into my creases, you see. hope is created by the heaviness of the world; expectation. with hope comes the expectation of something positive to come with it. that’s not realistic. i can hope until the day i return to the heavens but there’s no guarantee in it. “ a hand reached to idly brush against the locks of the nymph, cherry orbs shifting to look among them. a smile formed momentarily, only to be shifted as he turned to look at the piano once more. “ instead of hoping for something, strive for it. go and get it instead of relying on hope, is all i’m trying to say. “

unholyrps​:

“we could always skip to dessert.” was said jokingly, eyes drifting back up to watch his boyfriends expression. he was pulling away slightly in favor of tucking up under the others arm soon after though - it had to have been a favorite place to be, that’s for sure. he took a few steps, humming in thought as he tried to think of what was around right now. he didn’t want to walk too far, and finding a secluded place to jump wasn’t always easy this time of day. not unless they found their way to a bathroom or something. “what’re you hungry for?” was asked, usual smile on the blondes lips as he looked at nara.

“ .. don’t play with my fragile heart, ko. you know i would take dessert anytime, anywhere. “ the beauty; his pride, his heart ( well, what he would consider ) perched so obediently beneath his arm. from the way korain followed after the goblin to the way he looked, everything was enthralling. being from the underworld, love is not something of common nature. it’s all about power and rule.. but nara would give it all up for the boy without second thought. ko gave him purpose and fulfillment. feelings he never even knew he had and desparately wanted to hold on to. “ anyhting is fine with me, my love. whatever your little heart desires. “

hi your favorite gay piece of shit is here and doing replies again.

anti-rcmantic​:

♡. minjun & kowaru ( griievancess​ )

     anyone on the outside looking in would probably think minjun couldn’t get enough of kowaru and, honestly, they would be absolutely correct. it was never sufficient to just be near the other, min had to be in physical contact with him at all times or else he would feel off. and perhaps that was a bit alarming considering nothing between them was official in any sense, but the choreographer just couldn’t bring himself to care about such things.

     min’s pupils are blown, expression laced with nothing but adoration as nimble fingers play with kowaru’s in a mindless manner. when he smiles the dancer feels a swarm of butterflies invade his lower stomach, though, he might blame the alcohol if asked … minjun’s own smile forms and he nods his head, skin tingling as lips brush against his ear. “ c‘mon then … “

     hastily, the shorter male is tugging ko through the bar, only giving a wave to their mutual friends before they were out the door and in the backseat of a taxi. almost immediately, drunken lips are kissing against kowaru’s jawline, smirking against smooth skin. “ i’ve been wanting to get you alone all night … “

something about minjun caused a rift inside of the angel. granted, loving by nature, love was a normal occurrence. yet.. minjun caused this magnetic force that was impossible to rupture. not that he would ever want to. so once the beauty carefully lead the angel outside of the bar, he was more than happy to follow. before the two could even make it into the taxi, kowaru twirled the boy on his heels and caressed his back; diving deep into the curious stare, a feverish kiss was laid ever so lightly against min’s. those lush and plump tiers weren’t weary, breaking apart only moments later. that light scent of alcohol burned his senses, almost enticing him more so. stumbling toward the taxi, kowaru fell inside with a soft laugh. shifting over to let the other inside, they slammed the door shut and careless hands roamed.

“ i’m all yours. “ those words rode on gasps as kisses were wandering along his jaw, causing his skin to react to every little feeling. a hand reached forward to gently brush through darkened locks, teetering between each finger. leaning back a bit against the door behind him, kowaru hoisted the male closer to him; almost pulling him into his lap. surely the taxi driver was uncomfortable, yet.. once the crimson orbs caught glimpse of the moonlight crisp against minjun’s flesh, their surroundings fogged up.

his thumb and pointer caressed the others chin, bringing him up into a more passionate kiss. needing, wanting. craving him entirely. “ min.. “ he breathes out, swiping his wet muscle against the bottom of minjun’s lip.