Sorry, long post!! I don’t have any drama going on, so this is not a dig at anyone because that’s childish but I do want to say this because I had to learn this the hard way and I don’t like conflict. I wish I wouldn’t have been so easy to trust in others and assume that every person who is nice to me, likes me...Especially in the past year and even several months, I have learned that you will have somebody that you will think is your friend or for example, a sibling, spouse, coworkers, or even a family member, that you think the world of. You would never think they would

Speak bad about you or hurt you or just try to pull you down... and then try to smile in your face.. lol I’m a very trusting person and I’ve had to learn to be careful because people will surprise you. I say all that to say this, I loved this little meme/quote... whatever you want to call it because it’s so right about how I observe now. Even though I am still very trusting... I got smarter.. I know who my true friends are now. I now catch on to when others are talking about me behind my back. You can still be a Very good and nice person, even to those who may be doing you dirty and you know it but just be smart and guard your heart! Just because I might not call them out or say anything, I know. I don’t

Need to say anything because they should know better and I’m at peace and don’t really care because people will always have something to say about you! So live your life ladies, don’t worry about those who are like that to you.... they have to live with themselves. All you can do is pray for them!🙌🏻💙

Mentally preparing myself and praying for Detachment from all things that no longer serve my best interest.

As you evolve and expand, you will bid au revoir to many people, places, and parts of yourself that no longer resonate with your newfound frequency. For the ego, this is the hardest part of life. It desperately wants to hold onto the familiar, even if it’s a source of pain. Stepping into the unknown is a dangerous quest—big changes riddled with unpredictability burden the ego.⁣

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Non-attachment can serve as a key indicator of spiritual expansion. It suggests you can love someone without needing to keep them. It feels no sorrow at the sound of goodbye. Non-attachment embraces impermanence and the natural flow of things that come and things that go.⁣

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If you can release the urge to cling to what is, you’ll lessen the resistance and discomfort that occurs when things shift to what they’re meant to be. ⁣

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Goodbyes are inevitable, not to be feared, and necessary for your growth. They become less uncomfortable with more non-attachment, but if you must hold tight to something, let it be your own heart.⁣

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Ground your energy so deeply within your heart space that you know saying goodbye to external things doesn’t mean you lose anything. It can even symbolize that you have drawn closer to what is true for you.⁣

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Continue to let go when your spirit urges you to. It simply means it’s ready to make space for what comes next. Trust yourself. Release your grip. And ease into the ebb and flow of receiving and letting go.⁣

i gotta stop pouring into cups that be leaving mine empty 🥀

Para sa Mga Nabasag

Nakakalito kung minsan ang buhay 'no? Hindi mo alam kung minsan kung saan ka lulugar o mas tinatatakot pa tayo ng tanong na: "Kinakalawang na ba ako?" — Napakaraming bigat. Pagkasaid. Kawalan ng gana sa lahat. Napakahirap bumangon kapag wala kang nakikitang dahilan. Kinakalimutan natin ang mga nakaraang gabi sa kung saan tayo mas nabigo, gumuho, at nakulong. Hindi natin mahanap ang sagot kaya parati nating isinasantabi ang mga ito kahit na kapalit nito'y sa atin din ang pagbagsak. Wala tayong baon kundi ang mga bagay na 'di natin nakikita gaya ng tapang, lakas ng loob, tiwala sa sarili't pagkukunwari. Umaasa tayo sa bawat bukas na baka may mag-iba o baka mas may magandang bukang-liwayway bago pa man maisipang pumamhik ng araw. Habang tinitipa ng iyong mga mata ang bawat salitang isinulat ko, nais kitang batiin na napaka-galing mo. Hindi man 'yan parating sinasabi sa 'yo ng lipunang mapang-mata at nasanay na lamang kumilala parati ng mga marunong, gusto ko muling ulitin at mabasa mo: Napaka-galing mo. Parati. Sa kahit anong paraan. Gusto kitang pasalamatan dahil hindi ka nagpadaig. Hindi dahil sa nawalan ka ng matatakbuhan nitong mga panahong basang-basa ang iyong mga unan buhat ng pagpasan. Alam kong hindi kita kilala sa personal, pero kahit na hindi kita kilala, gusto ko lamang ulit na malaman mo nakaka-proud ka dahil nagawa mong malampasan ang ilang buwan ng pagtitiis at pagsisikap. Payo ko lang: 'Wag kang hihinto. 'Wag kang matatakot. Bilang alam mo na ang tama't mali, mahirap mang iwasan ang bawal, lagi kang tumungo sa tama. 'Wag mong kalilimutan ang sarili mo, ikaw lamang ang tunay na makakapag-alaga r'yan. 'Wag kang magpapadala sa agos, sa mga salita ng mga taong walang alam sa mga gabing pinagdadaanan mo para lamang magpatuloy. 'Wag kalimutang patawarin ang sarili, sa mga pagkukulang, sa mga pagkakamali. May panahon pa para maging matuwid. Kalimutan ang mga bagay na hindi kayang panindigan dahil sasayangin lamang nito ang oras na dapat ay sa mga bagay na mas makabuluhan. Ikaw ang nakakakilala sa sarili mo't maaari mong balewalain ang mahabang piyesang ito ngunit, 'wag ka sanang magiging manhid sa lahat. Nariyan ang pagmamahal. Matutong pumili. Ano man ang mangyari, mananatili itong para sa lahat. — Bilang panghuli, hiling ko lamang ay maghilom tayong lahat sa mga bagay na hindi naman natin ginusto ngunit, dahil sadyang nakakalito ang buhay, ito ang karanasang ibinalot sa atin. Ngayon, mas piliin pa nating lumabas, lumaban, magpahinga't magpatuloy. Ika nga ng kaibigan ko, "darating din ang panahong papabor din sa atin itong mundo".

Salamat sa pagbabasa.

Ayus lang maging malungkot, malugmok, at mawalan ng pag-asa. Gumawa ng mga bagay na irrasyonal na walang kahit ano mang pag aalinlangan at 'di kailangan magpasensya. Walang masama na tumigil at lasapin ang kasalukuyan, mag karoon ng kahinaan, at maging tao.

I am at the point of my life that I do not expect too much from people anymore. If you want to get out of my life, I will not stop you. If you want to unfriend me, go ahead.

If my efforts will not be reciprocated, that’s totally fine. If you can’t equate my love for you, I will respect that. If you do not like me, I can accept that.

It takes maturity to reach this point. It takes self-love to be on this level. It is just that it is too tiring to please people. It is so f*cked up to beg for people to be a part of your life. It is pointless to force someone to be on the same page with you.

I am at the point of my life that if you will stay, you’re mine and if you are not, then i let go. It is too tiring to keep on forcing things to happen. It is too painful to see your efforts getting unnoticed. It is not worth it to beg for someone just to let them see how much you love them. It is not worth it to chase people. It is too unnecessary to force friendships. It is too tiring to force reconciliation. Do not regret anything, most especially if you made efforts to make it work at some point.

The moment you do that you will be happier.

Focus on your life. Focus on people who love you. Shit happens. Embrace change. After all, that is the only thing constant in this world. 🌹

Follow me: instagram.com/neiljedcastro

I think one of the saddest things is when you don’t want anything anymore. You’re not in despair, you know you’re not alone, you know it can get better, but you dont want any of it. You’re just tired of living. I’m not sure if anyone can really help at that point.

4/10/2020

Regrets.

What if our one night stand remained a one night stand? What if we just had that friends-with-benefits, no-strings-attached relationship?

Life would’ve been complicated, but for a shorter while. I imagine I would’ve fallen in love since you were my first, but what if I never forced anything?

I would’ve been distraught, I would’ve been heartbroken, but I’d have probably moved on and found someone who’d love my quirks, who’d be patient with my being too emotional, and who’d love me the way I’d want to be loved.

You would probably have found new girls, and would eventually find someone who’d make you fill the void you said you had for years. Someone you’d love to talk to for hours on end.

But here we are. In a relationship where we both feel trapped and empty. In a relationship where we both fill the emptiness with sex and redirect all our love to our son.

Our son. Why am I so full of regret when this relationship was the very reason our son was brought into this world? Surely something this angelic and innocent was born out of love.

"Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself." Letting go with love takes great strength. We have to learn to stop taking on peoples problems as if they are our own. Loving people does not mean we have to carry their burdens and confusions on our back.

Sadly, You can only express your opinion on a situation. You can't want their life more than they do. This is in fact their life to figure out on their own and in their own time. I do believe in timing. I do believe timing is everything. You forcing your beliefs and dreams down ones throat is only going to cause resentment and possibly manifest deeper issues. Possibly to the point of no return. "People say time heals all wounds... I say time heals wounds but scars are left to remind you what you have been through and what you survived." Stop shattering your own heart by trying to make a relationship (friend, family, partner) work that clearly isn’t meant to work. We have to stop trying to repaint people's colors. We have to learn to believe the love we AREN'T given. You can't love someone into loving you. (God I wish it were that easy) You can’t force someone to be loyal, kind, understanding. You can’t force someone to be the person you need them to be. Even if it's for their own good!! Sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re best without. 😩😫 You have to understand... some things ARE supposed to happen in your life, but they just are NOT meant to be. Damn... It took me so many years to understand that.

Don’t lose yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken. God always has a plan even if we can't understand it (or don't want to understand it) Even in the darkest of places... Our Lord sees His vision.

We might not understand it at the moment but I promise you, your future will always bring understanding and clarity of why things didn’t work out. Don’t put your happiness on hold for someone (family, friend, partner) who isn’t holding on to you. "A Girl once told me… Be careful when trying to fix a broken person. For you may cut yourself on their shattered pieces."

Hindi dahil nag break kayo e maghahanap kana agad ng iba. Cmon dude, sa mga nag aadvice na marami naman babae jan na iba kaya okay lang yan. How stupid. Ganun ba kababa tingin nyo sa mga babae na pag nag break kayo e move to the next one? If you really love that person, respect her. Di ung papalitan mo agad parang damit lang na hinubad mo. Love relationship is not a game. It's not a war you have to win or lose. It's a journey for the both of you. Kaya irespeto mo ung pinag samahan nyo. Di ung palit agad. Be a better person. At sa nag tanong pano kung sya ang nakahanap agad ng iba? Then it's up to that person. Decision nya na un. Basta ikaw alam mo sa sarili mo. May darating talaga na mas better sayo. Kaya nga be better diba? Malay mo ikaw rin pala ung mas better na un? Be a man. Not a boy. Kaya tingin nila sa mga lalake manloloko e. Kasi ganyan, pagka nag break hanap agad ng iba. Haaaays.

Due to personal reasons, I won't be giving a fuck ever again 🙃

May mga tao talagang sisirain ka sa lahat seeking for attention and sympathy. Before you trash my name, tell them how good I was to you, how I gave you my all, how you damaged my inner self, how you made me hurt myself, how you hurt me physically, mentally, emotionally, how you made me cry all night that you didn't even care at all, how I gave up everything, even my soul, just to make you happy. Just make sure that all of these rumors you're spreading are true. People be acting like saints. 🤷🏻‍♀️

when you are no longer useful to them, they don't want you anymore. #realitycheck

Kahit legal pa kayo sa pamilya niyo, kahit ilang taon na kayong magkakilala, kahit planado na ang future niyong dalawa, kapag talaga dumating yung point na ayaw niya na talaga sayo, pagod na siya o kaya nagsawa na, wala kang magagawa. Love isn't about the people around you, or the years, or how promising your future together is. Minsan kailangan mo tanggapin na dumating lang siya sa buhay mo para pasayahin ka, para matuto ka. Hindi para samahan ka habang buhay.

It's nice when someone remembers small details about you.

God doesn't want us worrying or stressing. Our bodies aren't designed or built to handle that kind of tension or pressure; it's very unhealthy. We like to blame the devil for everything. I can say 99.99% of the time we don't want to accept accountability. That's not good. You can't be healed or delivered from something without confessing your issues. Let's be transparent... Most of our problems are caused from not letting go and giving it to God. When you hold all of that junk in your heart it will trigger anxiety attacks, panic attacks, high-blood pressure and many other health complications. You then allow the enemy to rob you of your life and sleep because you have now allowed anxiety to control you.

Prayer is the main ingredient to all of your problems and solutions. It's definitely something I shun from because I'm either fatigue, distracted by social media, or not in the mood. But when all hell breaks loose then I want to run to God. It shouldn't be so... That's a sign of a user. No one likes to be used or taken advantage of and that's how I've treated God. Praising Him and thanking Him for the good things. But when trouble comes and things don't go my way I mumble and complain. So my relationship is built on the 'blessings and things' of God, not because of who He is.

In Matthew 6, Christ informs us to not worry about food, what to drink, clothing, shelter, the troubles of tomorrow (future). That's His job, He already know the things we NEED. If He can take care of the many acres of grass, the birds in the sky, is He not faithful enough to care of His very own that He so meticulously created... But SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD and His righteousness, and He will give you everything you need. Rest in the Lord today and know whatever is heavy on your heart He has already taken care of. Accept the result graciously.