I believe that no matter how much effort I put in, I still carry the scars of the sexual assault. I feel lost, as I was in the process of discovering myself when that terrible incident occurred, and ever since then, I have felt incomplete. It completely halted my progress and set me back a decade. Now, I feel as vulnerable as a child, navigating a daunting world that no longer feels safe to me. However, amidst all this, I discovered love. I found it in Sebastien, within the glasshouse mountains on the sunny east coast. I found it in the comforting warmth of the sun, which kissed my face and the sting of sea salt as I dried off under the Australian heat. My struggle lies not in finding love, but in recognizing it within myself. If we are all products of love, why do I feel so unlovable?
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In an instant, my life was altered permanently. The previously outgoing and sociable individual had her spirit dampened. The desire to form connections with others vanished, as did the appreciation for the wonders of the world, as my inner self became consumed by darkness.
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#rapist.
I never expected that my trip to Australia would lead me to encounter a rapist. This unexpected turn of events occurred during my time working on a farm, where I also had to live in shipping containers under the supervision of a profit-focused Taiwanese woman who showed no compassion towards European backpackers. The challenging experience of my three-month regional employment left me with a lasting reminder of a difficult life lesson.
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You were never my friend, not even close,
Now my brain is fried, cold tea, burnt toast.
July the 13th was when I was taken,
My body still here but my soul is vacant.
Covering up tears that run from my eyes,
Fake it til you make it- “I’m okay” I lied.
To remember nothing, but still feel so broken,
The drunken slumber I wish I awoke from.
The rage I have won’t ever go away,
The demons you left with me are here to stay.
But I am not weak, no I am not small,
I will rise again after every fall.
I will stumble and break, I will use all my strife,
To fix myself, and take back the control of my life. #sexualassaultawarnessmonth #stayingstrongtogether #breakthesilence
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#Apartment104 ZENITH SURFERS PARADISE.
The conclusion of a chapter. The conclusion of the team (goon squad). Lacia, Leo, Tia, Amelia, Luzie, Gloria, Matt fucking Morton, Bryan Brown, Dan and Fabien. A collective I will always hold dear. You have truly enriched my time in Australia. From broken hearts to broken elbows, you will forever hold a special place in my heart, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to have crossed paths with you all on my travels. Awaits us a new greeting from another corner of this spectacular world.
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