We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

Kyle and Josh had heard that smoking would keep the bastards small, but even at a pack a day it didn’t seem to be making a difference.

LMFAO

?

when you're sick you're either a prince moder or a dog moder. prince moding is when you demand many little treats, drinks etc. i personally prefer to drag myself off to a secluded corner to either die or recover, aka dog moding

“can anyone hear me” and “its so dark in here” and “who said that” have got to be some of my fav things to say on a post because it brings to mind being locked in a room or lost in a cave, probably because of what youve said. not being called out in desperation, but in much calmer yet still resigned-to-your-fate way. in the case of “who said that” you’re saying something out the side of your mouth or under your breath, sometimes just fully out loud, then feigning bewilderment to whip around and look behind you. Sometimes in this case you’re in a vast and empty wheat field with no audience anyway. In all cases you’re definitely some sort of madman or loon or otherwise totally bonkers. just a glimpse into how my Posting Interpretation is.

soundscape of young green martian playing with pvc pipes

fucking love saying "tough crowd" or "is this thing on" after telling a joke and not getting a response. or "i still need to workshop that one". you fools. even when you completely ignore my jokes you're only helping me set up more jokes. it's open mic night at the hotel california

Man…if Shinji were MY son, I’d–wait…if Shinji were my son, that would mean….I’D be Japanese….(thought bubble above my head shows me doing cool Japanese things that I watched on youtube) hehehehe pretty dope

Someone messaged me to tell me they had small boobs and then blocked me