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complicated relationships with parents be like
you sacrificed so much for me but i sacrificed so much for you and i wish you’d just go away and leave me alone. don’t leave me; i’m scared when you’re not there with me. can you give me this? i don’t want anything from you. i can never forgive you. do you forgive me? i don’t care for what you have to say to me or what you think of me. are you proud of me? i am free. let me in. i’m not your therapist. it’s ok, i’m here to listen. did you ever love me? i love you so much that it hurts and i hate you so much that it might just make me bleed. give me a hug? i can never not love you. do you feel the same way? do you even know i feel this way? do even know what i feel? did you ever care?
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To be honest, I have a hard time believing myself these days.
-cress
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i dont want my mom anymore.
i don't cry for her in my sleep after a nightmare or after a breakup, i dont yearn for her touch or her love anymore. i don't beg her to stop smoking or drinking. i leave her to her own devices.
my mom has been trying to hold me, trying to make me happy. but that is when i want her to leave. i want her to go away, to leave me alone.
i cry out for my dad, the only other person who will understand. i need my dad. he'll help.
as i lay on the ground, begging for her to leave, begging for her to stop touching me, she breaks down. she yells and all i can do is cry out for her to go away.
im sorry. please don't make me leave. im sorry mom please.
she cries and cries and i fix myself up. i tell her im sorry and i love her. she forgives me.
things are quiet for the next day. she doesn't yell at me, she just drinks and smokes until reality barely has a grasp on her.
i just need someone to hold me. but im scared. im absolutely terrified of that woman touching me. she hurt me in more ways than anyone could ever know. i cant possibly get away.
why does she get to be happy amongst all the chaos. all i get is hurt. everything hurts. im so exhausted. please mom go away but please hold me. please just leave me alone but please tell me how proud of me you are.
you are not the woman that raised me.
you are the woman that broke me and tore my heart out.
stomped on it before you could hold it and smile and say "look at what a good job ive done"
you tell everyone that you're happy i turned out so good.
but it wasnt because of you.
it was because of me.
i did it.
i raised myself.
i made absolutely shure i would never turn out like you.
thank you, mother.
for you broke me before i could be broken by the world.
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TW: VENT
its my fault.
my fault my fault my fault my fault my fault.
im sorry please stop yelling please leave me alone LEAVE ME ALONE GO AWAY PLEASE MOM PLEASE NO DON'T TOUCH ME PLEASE MOM LEAVE ME BE
im sorry. i know its my fault. im sorry.
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today my head was full of weeds
dry and dusty thirsty things
so I went to the water
under the moon
in the middle of September
and the water filled my ears so I couldn't hear you anymore
what a relief
the earth holds me the way a mother should
-whereshegrows-
from my third poetry collection, made of earth
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And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.
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girls will say "my relationship with my mother is completely healthy and normal" and then be left absolutely devastated by lady bird.
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When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.
-Richard Kadrey
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“To my parents”
I no longer,
look,
for your faces,
in the cheering,
crowd.
-Hania Lín/ “Spoiled Milk”
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POV
You have mommy issues lol
Oh and you’re also a
✨bisexual✨
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To prove a hunch..
Reblog if you are the oldest daughter in your family and you feel disconnected because it always seems like your whole family sides together against you in almost everything, makes you the scapegoat and in general makes you feel bad for being too 'mean/strict'
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