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gayafuser · 4 years

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Motivation Ficlets -Spock

Intro: So this one was inspired by my recent descent into illness that I am convinced was bronchitis (I am mostly recovered by now) and the fact that my house is so freezing that I have this deep need to be cuddled by Spock. So that is literally what this is. I thought it was quite sweet. I hope you enjoy. :3

((Also Soft Sleepy Spock™ is my new favourite thing))

Pairing: Spock x reader

Word Count: 697

-Enjoy!-

You left your shift early on Dr. McCoy’s orders. He said something along the lines of ‘these patients are already sick enough they don’t need you sneezing all over them’, handed you a bottle of tylenol and a bottle of orange juice and sent you to your quarters.

Truth was, you felt pretty crappy and were glad to be sent home. You thought at first it was allergies, or just a reaction to the dry air that cycled through the ship, but as the day progressed, you felt worse and worse, your stuffy nose nearly unbearable and your throat feeling sore and swollen.

Dropping your bag just inside the door, you felt your eyes water and nose sting, just before letting out a big sneeze.

“Ugh.” You groaned and reached for a tissue that you had in your pocket.

When your eyes cleared and you had blown your nose, you turned to your room, your heart leaping at the sight of a familiar set of dark hair and pointy ears sticking out over the arm of the couch. Spock.

You popped a tylenol and took a swig of the orange juice as you rounded the couch to see Spock laid out, one leg along the couch, one dangling off, his head tipped back, resting on the arm of the couch. You smiled fondly at him, so very uncharacteristically splayed out, relaxed, and you imagined how warm it would be to curl up against him, and you shivered involuntarily.

All at one the urge to sneeze overtook you, and you tried to stop it, but it escaped you, and the sleeping Vulcan’s head quickly snapped up.

“Y/N?” He mumbled and sat up, his eyes blinking sleepily, his hair tousled adorably.

“Hi, Spock.” You croaked, dabbing at your eyes and nose with your tissue again.

“You are meant to still be on shift, are you alright?” His voice was soft and gravely from sleep, and he rubbed at his eyes and covered a yawn, both actions you found to be very endearing.

“I think I’m getting sick. Dr. McCoy sent me home.” You shivered again and suddenly felt exhaustion hit you, “I’m sorry I woke you up, Spock.”

“It’s quite alright. You look cold.” He peered up at you through slightly furrowed brows.

“A little. But ’m fine. Jus’ gonna go to bed.” You mumbled, swaying on your feet.

“Come to me, little one.” Spock’s long fingers gently brushed against the skin of your forearm, his fingertips so warm that you leaned into the touch.

“I don’t wanna get you sick.” You coughed, but your body betrayed you and you let Spock draw you to him.

“Ashayam, you know Vulcan’s have a different immune system than humans, I will not fall ill."

"Mmmm 'kay.” You hummed and nearly fell into the couch, but Spock caught you, gathering you up into his arms, the temperature difference making you groan and snuggle into him.

His body was like a heater under yours, and you quickly tangled your legs together, nestling your head into his neck and tucking your frigid fingers in between your bodies. His arm was draped across your back, his other hand finding your hair and carding through it softly.

“Your skin is above it’s normal temperature.” Spock noted, his chin tilting down suddenly and you felt his lips press quickly to your forehead.

“Did you just check my temperature?” You mumbled into his chest, a smile perking at your lips as you curled your fingers into the fabric of his shirt.

“My mother used to do that when I fell ill, I thought it was customary to check for an elevated temperature through skin to skin contact.” Spock’s chest rumbled as he spoke, and your eyes flitted closed.

“Mhmmm.” You affirmed, “and 'twas very sweet, thank you, ashaya…” Your mind drifted now, and you let out another shiver despite Spock’s body heat.

Spock shifted below you and soon the heaviness of a blanket fell along your back and with a few more shuffles you were bundled up and toasty, feeling very content.

“Thank you, Spock.” You muttered, and felt his lips press against the top of your head.

“Anything for you, little one.”

-Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!-

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gayafuser · 4 years

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That Consume You

AKA: A Million Tiny Pieces p.t. 2

Get it? A Million Tiny Pieces That Consume You? I tried to make it a sentence.

Intro: Okie dokie so this was kinda requested by @newhappiness430. You didn’t formally request it but you commented on my other piece asking for a part 2 and I just had to oblige.

Pairing: Spock x Reader (really loving writing Spock)

Word Count: 2070

Triggers: none, Vulcan kiss, a little sadness but some fluff as well

Summary: So this is a continuation of A Million Tiny Pieces (click to read). It is basically just another one-shot with the same kinda relationship between Spock and reader and a few connections between the stories. So this is set just after Spock finds out Spock Prime dies (so I guess set in the Beyond timeline) and he freaks out, but the reader is there to comfort him.

ALSO PLEASE SEND IN DRABBLE REQUESTS HERE IS THE LINK: RAINBOW READING WEEK DRABBLES

ALSO: I snuck in two kinda-references:

1. Hamilton: Meet Me Inside - “Call me son one more time.” I put: “If you call me lieutenant one more time…”

2. Bones (the TV show): Bones: “What do you need Booth? Some time, some space?” Booth: “Just some time.”

-Enjoy!-

You followed Spock into his room, pausing just inside the door as you regarded the clearly distraught Vulcan.

“Spock, what happened back there?” You inquired, stepping into the room and walked over to Spock who stood very rigidly on the opposite side of the couch.

“I was simply explaining my opinion on the matter to the officials.” Spock responded, not meeting your eyes from across the room.

“Spock, you were basically screaming at them. Jim had to kick you o…"

"I am aware of what the situation entailed, Lieutenant.” He interrupted.

You felt a tinge of anger flash through your veins when he called you by your rank rather than your name, but you decided not to mention it, as he was clearly upset.

Keep reading

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gayafuser · 4 years

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A Million Tiny Pieces

Intro: This was requested by anon: Do you mind Spock x Reader?

Okay okay so I never thought I would like writing Spock x reader but this was way too much fun. When I got this request I panicked thinking I would never come up with a good idea but once I got one, the words just started flowing and I wrote it basically all in one sitting. I love this piece so much I read it over and over again instead of writing new fics (sorry @outside-the-government I know your request came before this one but I needed to give this one to the world first - yours is almost done!)

Pairing: Spock x Reader

Word Count: 2410

Triggers: none really, attempt at slipping something into reader’s drink.

Summary: Reader goes to the bar after a long day and some crewman tries to slip something into their drink. Spock comes to save the day and ends up walking reader back to their quarters. Fluff ensues.

Also: I kept picturing the reader in a leather jacket for some reason when I realized that Uhura wears leather jackets in aos so I guess I am not that original lol.

Also (p.t.2): This is my first Spock fic so please be gentle :)

-Enjoy!-

You had a bad day and just needed something to make you feel better. So you made your way to the bar and practically crashed onto the bar stool, leaning your forearms heavily on the counter in front of you and laid your head on the cool surface.

Letting out a deep sigh you closed your eyes and thanked the stars that this day was over. You pulled the collar of your favourite leather jacket around your neck tightly as you continued to lean against the bar.

“Long day?” You heard a deep voice ask, but you didn’t know if it was directed at you so you pretended to ignore it.

Only when the cool exterior of a glass pressed against your elbow did you pick your forehead up off the counter and look up. A small glass of brown liquid rested in front of you, standing there alone, like a lone soldier. You turned your head and fixed your tired eyes on the bartender who offered you a weak smile as he picked up a cloth and started cleaning glasses.

He nodded and gestured with his eyes between you and the person you assumed bought you a drink and you looked over to the stools beside you.

One stool down sat a rather handsome, if not a little burly, looking crewman in a blue shirt. He flashed a flirty grin at you and you smiled back. You really were not in the mood for company, but if he was going to buy you drinks, you weren’t going to stop him. He slid to the stool beside you and leaned on the counter as you lifted the glass to your lips and downed it in one shot. Whiskey. You hated whiskey, you were more of a ‘beer’ type of girl, but you soon felt it taking the edge off your bad mood and you turned to face the crewman. He gestured to the bartender to fill your glass again before looking at you, his eyes flicking to your bag that had the medical insignia sewn onto it.

“Medical, huh? You a nurse or something?” He asked and suddenly you didn’t like him anymore, you hated when people asked if you were a nurse like it was a bad thing to be. Like they were saying, “You not-a-doctor or something?”

You grimaced and knocked back the newly filled glass, slamming it back down on the counter with a 'tink’. “Yep, I’m a nurse, and a damn good one at that.” You replied dryly, but he still looked at you like you were naked and in his bed. You shifted uncomfortably and crossed your arms over your chest.

Keep reading

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gayafuser · 4 years

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What difference a kiss makes (Sequel to bloody mistletoe)

A/N: Okay. so @sacredoe asked for a sequel to bloody mistletoe and it kind of escalated. I planned on something short and sweet and only happening on one day and Spock and our young Ensign here (you) had other plans with this fic. So I’m sorry. Kind of. Lots of discussions and a bit of hurt coming up. But I promise an happy ending, so stick with me through the 3k of text.

Story: After kissing Spock under the mistletoe you truly don’t want to join the New Year’s party. But Spock notices your absence and checks up on you. What might be a nice gesture becomes a little awkward when you find yourself sharing a spontaneous bond with him.

Warnings: Light swearing, mentions of former depression, implied sickness.

Rating: In my country that would maybe even be a 6+, but let’s say 12+.

Word count: 3428

CAN BE READ AS GENDER NEUTRAL READER, I ASSUME. (At least I tried to keep it this was after the first fic was gender neutral. If I screwed up, tell me.)

You weren’t hiding. Exactly. It was normal for you to never see your boss. The reports were brought to him by your superiors, mostly the highest ranking crewman of each lab, and it wasn’t as if you were of any importance at science meetings. So you didn’t have to go to any of the briefings held weekly or whenever there was anything important to talk about. So it was completely normal, that you haven’t seen Spock since that whole … kissing debacle. And if you changed directions, whenever you thought to hear his voice, well, that was just because you suddenly remembered something more important to do than what you were on your way to. Every time. See, no hiding.

It’s been almost a week now and even gossip had tuned down. Now most people knew your name, recognized you and talked to you. Yet you were not sure how to take this. Of course, you had felt almost invisible before the Kiss, capital K. And that had not been the most pleasurable of all feelings. But being the talk of the ship had turned out to be even less pleasurable.

Most of it had been benign, though. Except for a few female officers who openly stared at you as if you had some ugly disease, most just took it as a fun anecdote. Like the time Spock had to wear a bracelet of flowers. They rather had fun picturing their second in command in a not very comfortable situation, but didn’t think any less of you. Or him.

Still every now and then you had heard whispers of Spock openly claiming you with that kiss. That he had been betrothed and kind of divorced without ever telling anyone until the day of his supposed wedding gave him the image of a man guarding his privacy with his life. So if he ever opened up to someone enough to kiss them in front of the whole ship, this had to mean something, right?

You had to smile whenever you heard those rumors. If that had meant anything, surely you would know, wouldn’t you?

Still, you got tired of hearing the rumors, no matter how quiet and few. You wanted to escape them, so they would not mess with your mind. Self-preservation, you might call it.

That was why today you would stay in your quarters. On earth it was New Year’s Eve and again there was a party. Again, everyone could join. But you didn’t feel like exposing yourself once again.

„Hey, will I see you later“, you heard one of your colleagues. He was Andorian, but still looked excited to celebrate that old earth holiday.

You shook your head. „Nah, I’ll stay in tonight. Maybe I‘ll read up on the journals. Or do some light reading. But no party for me.“

„And here I thought you’d be there. People are waiting for you to tell us what it feels like kissing Spock.“

You chuckled. „They should try for themselves. And maybe tell me afterwards. I was way too shocked to really remember anything.“ It was a lie. You remembered his taste, his smell, the heat of his body and every little line of his lips. But you wouldn’t share that memory with anyone.

Your colleague smirked. „I might try this. If he’s around at midnight …“

„You do realize that it’s midnight every minute of the day - somewhere?“

He rolled his eyes. „Yeah, but at midnight ship‘s time he has to kiss whoever is closest, if he wants to pay respect to your strange human traditions. So … maybe I‘ll wait around to see if I can get close to him?“

Something inside you hurt at the plan, but you smiled bravely. „Go ahead and try, I won’t stop you. I plan on going to bed early. And with that…“ You looked at the chronometer, seeing that you were off duty for two minutes already. „I wish you a happy new year and good night.“

You made your way to the mess hall to grab something to eat that you could smuggle into your quarters. Finally there you slipped out of your uniform and into your pjs, then slipped under your blanket.

You may have fallen asleep, your PADD with your current novel fallen from your hands. But your chiming door woke you up. „Come in“, you yawned rather than actually spoke.

Wondering, who this could be, you slipped out of bed and went to the door, only to gasp in surprise and blush instantly.

„I noticed your absence from the celebrations, Ensign. I take it you are unwell?“, Spock asked and looked at your clothing.

You rubbed your neck in embarrassment. „Not really, Sir. I just didn’t want to be the talk of the party again. Not that I complain about the last party. It was great. I … mean the party. And your … offer has indeed helped my social status. But in a room with so many people it’s not exactly comfortable to be kind of famous. So I thought I’d stay away this time and if I‘m lucky someone does something really interesting this time so that Christmas will just be another beloved anecdote and not THE topic.“

Spock inclined his head. „Logical“, he made you probably the highest compliment he was able to. „And as Ensign Chesterton from Engineering was unable to find his way to the nearest toilet, I assure you that at the next social gathering you will not be at the center of interest anymore.“

You stared at him open-mouthed for a second, before you regained your ability to speak. „I’m not sure I want more details of this story.“

„I assure you, you do not.“

Was that humor? Did Spock just made a joke? Or was that just a normal answer because the story was just too weird, even for a Vulcan - or especially for one, for that matter?

The conversation had reached a low and you were struggling to find something to say. „Anyways, thank you for checking up on me. But I’m fine, nothing to worry about.“

Spock seemed reluctant to go.

„Is there something else, Sir?“

„Indeed. I find myself unwilling to go back to the celebrations.“

„Why’s that?“

„It is close to midnight ship‘s time.“

You burst out laughing and it took you a moment to control yourself again. „Sorry. Just … Don’t tell me you’re surrounded by many more people than usual?“

„I … am.“

„And instead of hiding in your quarters you come to me?“

„It is still a tradition.“

„But not one to be taken as serious as the mistletoe. And not your tradition, if you don’t want it to be. I mean, I’m not saying … hold on.“ Somewhere in your rambling about Spock not having to follow tradition your brain kicked in. „You came here to kiss me at midnight?“

„Should I leave?“

„No. I mean, that’s your decision. I don’t feel harassed or anything. But if this is just about kissing somebody you’re already used to or who doesn’t invade your private space to force you to kiss him or her, I assure you, you do not need to kiss anyone.“ You thought for a moment. „Though I would advise you to stay away from the corridors until midnight is over, just to be sure. And I don’t mind you staying here until then. Just … you don’t have to kiss me.“

Spock seemed uncomfortable. Well, actually no, he seemed as stiff as ever. But you could … tell? Hold on, that was strange.

„Weird…“, you murmured without noticing.

„What is weird?“

„What? Oh, did I say this out loud? Sorry, it was just … I felt for a moment … It was as if I could read you. Your emotions, or something. Sorry, maybe I am just still half asleep.“

„You are not. When we … kissed on Christmas, although I had erected shields, we seem to have formed a thin bond.“

„Bond like … Wedding or something like that?“

He shook his head. „A bond can be shared between family members, close friends, sometimes healers and their patients have to form a temporary bond. This is nothing permanent or to be afraid of. I can assure you that in time we will lose that connection. Even now it is weak.“

This time you rubbed your forehead as a headache was slowly creeping up on you.

„I apologize. I did not wish to cause discomfort.“

„If I understand correctly, you didn’t plan on this to happen, so don’t worry. But… is this why you’re here?“

He nodded. „Part of the reason. I had not noticed the bond either, as it is too weak to let me sense you without some form of proximity. But earlier I was in the lab next to yours and felt … something. When I came to investigate I only saw your back as you were just leaving.“

„I was jealous. My colleague planned on trying to kiss you at midnight“, you said quietly.

He arched a brow, but went on. „I planned to investigate this issue further, but you did not come to the gathering. So I came to find you. While I could have done this hours earlier the approach of midnight seemed to be all the more reason to not delay this matter any further.“

„And you want to kiss me for what reason now?“, you asked. You started to enjoy feeling Spock’s slight discomfort and embarrassment while talking about these things. Hopefully teasing your boss was not against any regulations.

„First of all I did not want another spontaneous bond to form to anyone, which is why I had to leave. But then … I feel drawn to you.“

Okay, with this your amusement vaporized and you stared at Spock, unable to compute.

„I cannot verify if it is the bond drawing me to you. I cannot falsify it either.“

„If it’s the bond it means, you‘re not really attracted to me in any way and all this is just some kind of accident?“, you asked. You could not help the sharp pain you felt at this thought. This conversation was getting cruel.

„The existence of the bond itself means that our minds are compatible.“

„Commander, please. Speak openly.“

He probably felt your discomfort now. „It might be a side effect of the bond. For both of us. Our minds are not used to it and might compensate the acclimatizing process with an imbalance of neurotransmitters causing us to feel an attraction that is - while not unreal - not what we would have felt without the bond.“

You didn’t need time to come to a decision. „Then get out. Please.“

„I do not understand.“

„Don’t get me wrong. That was a very good kiss at Christmas. At least as far as I can tell. But a follow-up? Not going to happen until this bond is broken and we both still want to.“ Your gaze fell onto the chronometer. „Midnight is long gone anyway.“ You hadn’t even noticed the beginning of the new year. „So there’s no reason for you to stick around. And please don’t take this as disrespect. But I don’t want to be drugged into anything, not even by my own brain. So please leave. And don’t come back until this bond is broken. If you still want to, by then.“

You could even feel his hurt, but also his understanding. „A wise decision. Logical again. Good night, Ensign (Y/N).“

„Happy new year, Commander.“

With that he left. „Let’s hope it’ll be happy“, you said to your empty quarters and went back to bed. You felt miserable and regretted sending Spock away. But you knew it was better than fooling yourself. If this imbalance in your neurotransmitters, as Spock put it, could be over soon, it was better not to raise any hopes.

The next days were hard. Now that you had learned how to notice Spock in the back of your mind, it was hard ignoring him, whenever he was next door or around the corner, or in the mess hall you just wanted to enter, only to walk past once you sensed him.

But in time it got weaker. You even ran into him - not physically, this time - in your own lab when he came to collect a report.

Two weeks after New Year’s, he came to your quarters.

„The bond is gone?“, you asked him without greeting.

He nodded and looked awful. Physically sick.

„Gosh, what happened to you?“

„You did“, he simply said.

„This is my fault?“ Okay, now you felt bad. You never wanted him to suffer.

He shook his head. „There has been no fault. But the disconnection of a bond always causes some … not exactly comfortable effects.“

„You didn’t tell me.“ Had you acted differently then?

„I did not want to. This is nothing to be concerned about. I only feel an upset stomach. I feel worse whenever Doctor McCoy has to treat me with his medicine. Believe me, I have had worse effects of breaking bonds.“

„Such as?“

„Depression and death wish when my betrothal was cancelled. Although this was also an effect of me thinking that I had killed my Captain. When I found him to be alive, this soothes the effects instantly.“

You gasped. Nobody knew the real story behind the rumors, except for those involved. You hadn’t known that Spock had killed the Captain - well, tried to, as Kirk was very much alive.

„When I lost the bond to … a family member as a child, I felt disoriented, struggled to keep my emotions from leading my actions. My logic failed me at that time. The effects right now are not difficult to be ignored in comparison.“

„I felt nothing“, you said, feeling guilty that you didn’t even join in on his suffering.

„I did not expect you to. Humans mostly are psi-null. You would probably feel a wedding bond being broken, but a bond as weak as ours?“ He shook his head.

You sighed. „So, what now?“

„That is for you to decide.“

You snorted. „Okay, what are my options?“

„Option one: You still feel drawn to me and let me court you. There is a possibility that with our next skin to skin touch, the bond will re-establish itself, but I assure you that this is not binding for you. You are still free to terminate my courting whenever you no longer wish it. Option two: You still feel drawn to me but do not choose to act upon it. There will be no detrimental effects. Option three: You feel no longer drawn to me. Again, there will be no detrimental effects.“

You had to admit that you missed that tingling in the back of your head whenever Spock was around. You didn’t feel bad not having it, but it was kinda nice when it was still there. As if you‘d never be alone ever again.

And Spock still was looking pretty good - well, except for the paler skin than usual.

„I no longer feel you, therefore you have to communicate your thoughts, if you want me to react to them“, Spock‘s deep voice made its way through the loud workings of your mind.

„I try to find out what I want. If I just think you’re gorgeous or if I want this gorgeous man to be … mine. For as long as we can stand each other“, you said, blushing. This was hard. You were a scientist, so listening to your heart wasn’t your strength. You were more used to listening to reason.

And if you tried listening to reason instead even now? Well, he was your commanding officer, so you‘d probably have to fill out a lot of forms to be allowed to date. But then? You had nothing to lose, had you? There was never any guarantee when it came to love, so there was only the concept of trial and error.

You leaned in on him and he took a step backwards.

„What are you doing?“

You rolled your eyes. „Trying to kiss you.“ You bit back the ‚idiot‘. Insulting your boss was as much a bad idea as insulting your boyfriend, even if he was a bit slow thinking right now.

„Oh.“

„Yeah, oh. Now come here, please.“

It was not the most romantic of kisses. Chaste and tight lipped and short. Just his fingers searching for yours a real sign of him not wanting to run away. But you felt something kickstart in your mind nonetheless. And there he was again with all his thinly veiled elation and nervousness. How could a man who showed so few emotions feel so loudly?

You smiled against his lips. „So, tell me. This spontaneous bonds, are they normal? I mean it’s nice to feel you again. But do I have to be jealous of all the people you have to kiss just because it’s the welcome protocol of your planet?“

Spock blinked at you.

„I can feel your reluctance to tell me again, you know? What is it? Something bad?“

„It is just a rumor of old times. While spontaneous bonds during a meld are more common than one might think, bonds only formed by touch, even while I had fully functional walls put up to shield from your human brain, expressing its feelings so clearly, is mostly heard of in legends on my planet.“

„What kind of legends?“, you asked, looking down to your hand which Spock kept caressing with two fingers.

„Those of what humans might call soulmates.“

You groaned.

„You are annoyed“, Spock pointed out. „Did I say anything wrong?“

„You couldn’t have told me earlier? You know, maybe on New Year‘s? That information was important! Damn Vulcan privacy!“

„It is only a legend. Though it could explain that …“ He faded off.

„That?!“

„That since the bond broke I had not been able to keep food inside.“

Oh, now you weren’t just annoyed, now you were downright angry. „So, no bad side effects. You had worse. Such a weak bond could do real harm …“ Your words were filled with venom and ice.

„(F/N)…“

„Damn, Spock. What are you? Masochistic? You could have said so earlier. I would have chosen differently. I mean, even if it’s just a legend that turns out to have not a grain of truth in it, I still would have chosen not to risk it being true and hurting you. I would have … I would have hoped that if we turn out not to be able to love each other, we‘d still become friends or something like that. I would have risked getting my heart broken for the chance to find my freaking soulmate.“

„I am here now“, he pointed out.

„That you are. But you wasted two weeks. You suffered.“

„It was worth it.“

„Excuse me?“

„I do know now, what I want. And so do you. My former fiancé was bonded to me much stronger than you are now, and this was no guarantee for her fidelity or her affection for me. Although I had not seen sense in waiting for the bond to break until you decided to try, it was the right decision and my logic was faulty not to have thought about it earlier. It is better to know that you truly wish to spend time with me than for you to feel obligated by a bond, superstition or a chemical imbalance.“

God, in a weird way that even sounded romantic. He was willing to suffer if that meant that he could be sure you didn’t feel forced but actually liked him.

You felt yourself melt, the hardness of anger leaving your face and mind. „Next time, do me a favor and give me all available information, okay? Then we can decide together.“ You pulled him down into a real kiss, while his hand still wouldn’t let go of yours. Huh. Well, actually that was a nice, tingly feeling that his fingers left on your skin. You didn’t mind him doing that whenever he wanted.

„Maybe I should tell you about the Vulcan biology then? While we do not talk about it with outsiders, you should have all information necessary before you decide to ever turn my courting into something permanent.“

You just hummed in response and pulled him with you to your bed. That sounded as if it would take a while and you really wanted to sit down for that talk.

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gayafuser · 4 years

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Valentine’s (Spock x Reader)

Story: Set after ‘What a difference a kiss makes’, part 3 in the series. After four weeks with Spock you are just tired. As much as you like him, the relationship stresses you. You just want a day of rest, but you didn’t pay attention to the calendar.

Warnings: maybe undertones of depression? Not sure. Bit of fluff

Rating: 12+ .

Word count: 757

This time not gender neutral, sorry.

Sorry for not being able to once not be a drama queen

It had been four weeks now. Four weeks since your bond with Spock had kicked in again and you and he started dating. Or courting as he called it.

You didn’t know if it went well. You enjoyed time with him. Kissing him was better than you could have ever imagined. And feeling him on the back of your mind was absolutely fantastic. But the soulmate thing weighed heavy on you. You felt as if you were not allowed to fail. As if you had to be perfect for him. And while you knew that if it were true it would mean that you already were perfect for him, you felt stressed and tried to be even better.

Today you were just too tired to check every single word you were about to say if it was the right one. Too tired to think about how to move, how to breathe. You had a hard day in the lab and just wanted to go to bed.

But your plans of skipping dinner and just falling asleep as soon as you sat down were cancelled when you found Spock in your quarters.

You sighed.

“I apologise. Am I not welcome?”, he asked. For a brief moment you wondered when he had gotten that good at reading humans, but then you remembered that he could sense what you felt.

“No. I mean yes. I mean…” You rubbed your forehead. “I just want to sleep. I had a really long day and… I just can’t… Can’t, today.” Only now did you see the flowers he held in his hand, half hidden behind his back. “Okay, now I feel like I missed something.”

Spock looked at you without any movement for a second, then he nodded. “Among humans I have been told this day is called Valentine’s Day. This day is supposed to be special for lovers. Did I misunderstand?”

You shook your head. “No, you didn’t. I… I screwed up. I forgot.” You didn’t just forget, the thought that Spock would even be interested in a day like this never even crossed your mind. “I’m so sorry.” You just felt awful. The day just got worse and worse and the worst was that you feared you had just disappointed Spock. While you should have felt bad about what you did to him, though, this made you rather pity yourself even more. And for this selfishness you hated yourself. Your emotions just were a mass right now.

“Shall I leave? Clearly something upset you.”

Did you want him to leave? Right now you felt rather like curling up on him and crying. But he wouldn’t understand, would he? “I don’t know. It’s not your fault, though. I’m sorry I’m not in a better mood. And that I ruined your evening.”

He blinked, then he laid down the flowers on your desk and stepped closer, taking your hands. “You did not ruin anything. But if it is not my fault, do you wish to tell me what is wrong?”

“You’ll think I’m illogical.”

“I think so most of our time together. It still fails to repell me.”

You to smile. But then you sobered. “I don’t really know how to put it in words. I… feel drained. I try to be perfect and to always be the best girlfriend I can be, but… As much as I try and as much energy I invest, in the end I even forget about Valentine’s. I am a failure.”

“Why would you try to be perfect?” He clearly didn’t understand.

“Because… We share a bond. And if this soulmate legend is true, wouldn’t it be crappy to find your soulmate and she sucks?”

“What would she… Ah. I understand. Yes, you are being illogical. I do not wish for you to be anything but who you are. If you invest energy to be different, how can I get to know you?”

That made sense. “But what if I’m not good enough for you if I am myself?”

He merely shook his head and pulled you closer. “Do not ever think you could not be good enough”, Spock murmured into your hair. “No wonder you are tired. Let us go to bed. I will hold you if you let me and tomorrow will already look different. Better.”

When you were in his arms, his heat warming your tense muscles, you had to smile to yourself. Without knowing or planning Spock had given you the best Valentine’s Day possible. Cuddling in bed. What more did you need?

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gayafuser · 4 years

Note

"Y/n? You're bleeding... really bad..." With Spock? Super angsty please!

You laid your hands over the lock, getting Spock’s attention. “Y/n?” he asked as you worked to get the cage he was in open.

“Commander, I’ll have you out in a jiffy,” You promised as the door swung open.

“Y/N? You are bleeding,” he paused a second taking in the injury on your left shoulder. “Quite profusely.” You grabbed his sleeve and pulled him along.

“It doesn’t matter, come on.”

“Of course it matters if your blood loss continues at this rate the likely hood of you making it to the ship decreases.” He grabbed your arm and attempted to look you in the eye. Noticing your labored breath and your slightly peaked appearance.

“Yeah well the longer we sit here talking about my ‘likely hoods,’ the smaller it gets. We need to get to the top of that nearby ridge for a clear enough signal. Now get your Vulcan ass moving.” You started walking without him, he would no doubt catch up with you in a few long strides.

Your climb had barely begun and you could feel your body slowing down. You groaned as you watched Spock climb ahead of you with ease. Your arm made it difficult but you where still able to find a path of least resistance.

It wasn’t long after that that Spock began to notice that the distance between you and him had grown larger, even with him slowing down. He knew better than to reason with you to let him help you would just fight with him and refuse. A fruitless encounter. Even though most of the time when you had defied him you sure you gained some joy. And so would he.

But, now, he was concerned, he turned back to look at you and you were leaning back against a rock, gasping for air. He walked back and kneeled beside you. “Y/n?”

“I-I’m fine Spock, we are almost there.” You looked up into those brown eyes, the same brown eyes that had made you feel at home since your first day on the ship. The same eyes you wish knew how much you admired and loved him. The eyes that made you wish you hadn’t been as much of a coward as you had been when it came to feelings.

“I am going to carry you the rest of the way.” You didn’t even have time to protest as you were hoisted into his arms. “Worry not.” You relaxed immediately in his arms. Feeling your injury and exhaustion pulling you down into the murky depths of unconsciousness.

Spock knew you had passed out. All he hoped is that his legs could move fast enough to get you to McCoy in time. He hoped that he would see you open your eyes again. He promised to his mother, to the benefit of his human heart, that if you were to open your eyes again, you would know his feelings for you.

He hoped he wasn’t too late.

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gayafuser · 4 years

Text

Deck the halls (Spock x Reader)

Story: When you try to set up a tree for the winter festivities, you loose your balance and fall - exactly into the arms of your Commander.

Warnings: Bit of fluff, maybe quite some blasphemy if you’re REALLY religious

Rating: 12+ .

Word count: 1717

Can be read as gender neutral again, I think (if not, contact me, and I’ll try to fix it)

Living on a starship, Christmas was not exactly a huge issue for the crew. Even on earth it held no longer any religious meaning since space travel had proven wrong at least the religions themselves. It was hard to still take somebody seriously who claimed that the universe revolves around the earth, or that evolution was a myth when you have seen the universe, at least parts of it, and it didn’t give a damn about earth. If you have seen evolution actually happen in front of your eyes.

While mankind partially still believed in the existence of God or other deity, Christianity along with all the other old fashioned religions had faded into obscurity and the few traditions that survived had become secular and inclusive for each and every belief and ethnicity.

You weren’t religious either. You could not make up your mind if you believed in a higher being or not. If it existed, it probably was just a member of an alien species like the one taking the American natives and giving them another planet complete with protection against meteorites like it was done on Amerind. So they probably only looked like Gods and didn’t care at all if you worshipped them. They were probably even long gone and could not listen to your prayers.

But one thing about religions and traditions still intrigued you. You were part of the lab studying alien societies, your colleagues a mixture of historians, sociologists, political science scholars and anthropologists. And you had come across so many species on your travels with the Enterprise, but still most of them had one similarity. When their planet had something like winter, a time of relative coldness and darkness, they all had a celebration of light, warmth and love in that time. Sometimes religiously motivated, sometimes just a tradition of spending time with their loved ones.

If that was something so common among so many species, why should you not celebrate on the Enterprise, too. At least to lighten up the mood and with that the morale of the crew.

So you and your colleagues had sent in a written request to the Captain to allow you a little celebration with decorations, food and alcohol. open for all departments of the Enterprise.

Soon you had gotten the reply. A simple ‚granted‘, but that was all you needed. Currently in orbit around a planet with non-poisonous flora and only ruins to explore, no threat to be found, you had used your time on the surface not only to explore the culture that once inhabited the planet, but also looked for a tree you could use as decoration. A tree with ornaments and lights wasn’t too religiously specific either, you assumed. At least, even with your cultural knowledge of both earth and alien religions and traditions you could find no way how a simple tree could only symbolize the birth a supposed messiah. So nobody could say that this was excluding any other traditional heritage, right?

You had found a huge conifer that wasn’t exactly a fir, but smelled nice nonetheless and had twigs on which one could hang ornaments and maybe some lights if you could find any you could borrow.

As the botanical lab needed specimen of the fauna anyway, you asked them if you could borrow this one as decorations and they agreed, digging out the tree with all his roots and planting it in a pot, so it could still live on to be studied.

And now it was standing in mess hall with you in its branches. Well, not exactly, you were using a ladder. But still you leaned in heavily on the tree, trying to reach the top to set down an ornament that looked just like the command emblem of Starfleet. It was beautiful and shiny and still was inclusive enough to not be associated with any specific ethnicity or religion, other than the star you had seen as treetops when you were a kid. Everyone on this ship had a firm belief in what this symbol stood for: Exploring the galaxy, many planets side by side, working for the common good.

Except this ornament didn’t seem willing to cooperate with you, common good or not. It seemed to have a mind of its own and just didn’t want to stay in place. You leaned in closer, trying to use more of your strength to press it down in the branch, when you lost your balance. Suddenly the ladder was gone, fallen sideways to the ground when you had kicked it involuntarily in your fear of falling. And falling you did!

You closed your eyes, so you wouldn’t see the floor getting closer, when suddenly warm arms caught you.

„May I inquire the reason why this specimen is not in the biology lab?“, a dark voice sounded and you opened your eyes to see that Commander Spock had caught you.

„The tree‘s part of our decorations, Sir“, you replied. „The Captain allowed a little celebration. You know … like Christmas, winter solstice and all those other festivities of winter. While I know that only parts of earth have winter now and only a few other planets share the same length of year and climate cycles, the majority of the crew would have their winter in their hometowns in this months. And even when the others wouldn’t celebrate it now, they still might like to join in a party with their friends.“

„And that is reason enough to risk your life?“, Spock asked, still holding you as if he simply forgot about it.

„I didn’t plan on it. It was just that the ornament wouldn’t stay on top of the tree. And … it might be irrelevant, but the tree would look so much better with the command insignia on top.“ You bit your lip. More and more you noticed how close you were to the Commander, feeling his inhuman heat even through your clothes. „But I �� might just leave it off“, you added, when you realized that you had to get up there again in order to add the ornament. And maybe, just maybe, you were a little scared of getting up there again.

„I would be willing to help“, Spock said and you looked at him in astonishment.

„You? Oh, I mean no disrespect, sir. I just had never imagined that you would be willing to help with something so frivolous as a party.“

„My coordination is better than most human‘s, therefore it is logical to assist you rather than risk you hurting yourself or others.“

You had to smirk. While he had practically said that you were incompetent in what you were just doing, he did it in a way that could also be understood as worrying for your well-being. Or that of others.

„Sir? Thank you for saving me, catching me. But you can let me down now. If … that is alright with you, that is.“

Spock seemed to think about it, before letting you down. Then he picked up the ladder and climbed it with the ornament. What you could not accomplish in dozens of minutes took him mere seconds.

„Sir? Could I ask you to hang up the mistletoes, too?“

„Mistletoes?“, he asked. „How did you get any? And what for?“

You wondered how he could not know. But then again maybe as a Vulcan he had kept away from things like this in all his years among humans? „Well, they are not real. There were none down on the planet. But on earth there is a tradition that if you find yourself beneath the mistletoe with somebody else, you are supposed to kiss that person. It’s not obligatory, but some people like it. They only find the courage to kiss the person they are in love with, when they find them beneath it. So we crafted two mistletoes from everything we could find that was no longer of any use.“

„I see. In that case I will assist you again“, Spock agreed and you showed him where to put up the fake mistletoes. He moved the ladder, climbed up and soon the work was done.

You looked up at the excellent craftsmanship your lab mates had created and smiled. Who knew how many people would find each other tonight at the party?

You didn’t notice how Spock put away the ladder and came closer to you. Only when he stood next to you, looking up himself, did you notice his warmth again.

And then he was looking into your eyes and you into his. „As I said. Not obligatory“, you said and shrugged. „It’s just a little gimmick for lovers for tonight.“

„And if I were willing to follow the tradition?“, Spock asked, quietly.

You frowned. Did you understand correctly? „Well, then … go ahead?“

His lips met yours for a short moment, hesitant, but warm and soft. Then he pulled back, his eyes seemed to search for something in yours.

Just as shy as he kissed you, you leaned in and pressed a short kiss against his lips.

„May I ask permission to court you?“, Spock finally asked and again you had to smirk. His words seemed so old-fashioned, yet oddly fitting. So he really had been concerned for your life when he had put up the ornament.

„I think I already granted it, Commander“, you finally said. „And … you could start tonight. I heard there‘s a party tonight. One to celebrate love and friendship. And I’d love to go with you.“

Without hesitation Spock nodded. But instead of leaving you to your work of decorating, he joined you, helping you to turn the room into a glittering wonderland of gold and lights.

When you asked him later, after you had already been married for many years, why he helped you that day, he still had this Vulcan non-smile on his lips. „Because it seemed important to you. And if you love somebody, you have to support said person, unless what this person does could do harm. You wished to celebrate a winter festival and you were clumsy enough to harm yourself. So I had to interfere. If that gave me the opportunity to announce my feelings for you as well, who was I to complain?“

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