ED culture is gaining 2 pounds and swearing you can see it in your face, stomach, thighs, calves, arms, feet, fingers, and fucking neck.

being a person is insane

i hate having to like…………….. articulate my ideas

im starting to irritate myself with my poor mental health like damn can a bitch just keep it together for a minute

The phrase “this made me think of you” is my favorite thing someone can ever say to me

a little survey: reblog if you just need a hug right now

love rebloggin 20 things out of nowhere at once then leaving

me: *chillin*

my brain: SELF HARM BINGE EAT TAKE ALL YOUR PILLS PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH A WALL DRINK AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA PULL OUT ALL YOUR HAIR SCREAM FOR NO REASON JUMP IN FRONT OF A CAR CUT OFF ALL YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ROB A BANK

me: *no longer chillin*

✨Dropped 5lbs overnight after working really hard ✨

🌟🔥💫🪐💫🔥🌟

Reblog the good luck and pass it on

You can do this!

i think “i wish platonic dates with friends were a thing” is another way of saying “i want a deep emotional intimacy.” it’s a new age. shallow friends are easy to find and hard to let go. the two of you can sit for coffee, talking about nothing, secretly texting under the table that you want to leave. she begs you to come to the party but abandons you once you’re through the door. he won’t talk to you outside of class, won’t even look at you even though two weeks ago you kissed. 

it’s the age of the internet and our empathy is evolving. yes, isn’t long-distance now so easy. there’s a lot we have to be thankful for.

but there’s a lot that’s changing. there’s no words for the emotion you feel when someone is taking a picture with you that you know is only happening because they want to look fun and popular and you’re a prop; there’s no word for when you know it’s because you’re uglier than them and it makes them look good - there’s no word for watching people socialize for social media credit. we know it happens. not just “hang on let me take a picture of my food.” not just “i’ve got to text my mom back, one sec.” i mean that strange distance between two people who comment on each other’s posts but cannot connect in person. i mean you pour out your soul on twitter but then clam up in person. i mean internet loneliness; the sensation of 212 thousand followers and still so empty, knowing if the plane goes down, the ocean of the internet will wash out your memory. 

“i want a friend date,” she says, and he snorts - you mean friends?

it’s hard, sometimes. finding a best friend. when i was little i had an assignment about it. i remember crying in the hallway because i didn’t have one. everyone else in class did. i wrote about my shadow. i didn’t fit in. over the years i’ve had a couple. one turned out pure evil. a few were my best friend but i wasn’t theirs, in the end. a lot just drifted from me until we were only friends by nostalgia, not connection. but i ached for the feeling of a best friend the whole time: the person you can be silent with, the person you can be wild with, the person you can be 100% yourself with.

we live in a society where romance is said to be the only space you’re allowed to really be close with someone. how many of us have said to make sure you marry your best friend. we know from dating that there exists a kind of connection we don’t always get in our friends - even a platonic one, a connection of spirit, a freedom of behavior. 

i get it. a platonic date sounds wonderful. it’s not hurting anybody. let’s both have three seconds where we’re honest with each other in a raw kind of way. it’s terrifying. or we could just talk about what’s bothering you. i’m also still fucked up about the avatar: the last airbender ending; i also don’t get katara and aang. 

it’s about trust. about vulnerability. so yeah. maybe i’ve done all kinds of platonic-date things. but i’ve also had the opposite happen: the non-friend. someone you don’t want to cut out, not necessarily - but not someone you can tell your secrets to in the end. i think what we’re all asking for is to be less lonely. we want to get close to people, but we don’t want to seem like we’re hitting on somebody. 

come on out with me. we’ll both dress up and drink wine and split the bill and talk about deep things. be best friends for a moment. lord knows i need one. what i’m asking is for a quick moment of emotional intimacy. of reality. of not-just-here-for-the-party. i think a date sounds lovely.

“hey i’m emotionally unstable and not good at texting do you wanna date me”

vibe check!!

*passes out*

ED: you’re not doing well in school because you’re not skinny. if you were skinny this never would have happened. if you didn’t binge last night you would be closer to getting skinnier and would’ve studied

Me:

There's nothing more I want than to be skinny

But I'm also so freaking afraid of being that thin that people will worry about my health.

I'm afraid they'll see my bones and worry if I can stand tho.

I'm afraid they'll worried about my mental issues.

I'm afraid my friends will leave me cause they can't deal with it or call me crazy.

I'm afraid I'll never be able to date my crush cause I hate myself that much and he'd be turned off when feeling ribcage.

I don't want people to worry (again)

But I crave skinny

Boyfriend thinspo imagine

You walk into your bedroom, holding a cup of warm black coffeee as you sink into your favorite chair. It's an old armchair with soft velvet cushions that almost swallow you as you lean back, but you don't mind. You pull up your legs and take a sip of your coffee. A warm feeling starts to spread in your chest, and you realize how cold it is in your room. You are so used to being cold all the time that you barely notice it anymore.

You look over to your bed and see your boyfriends hair stick out from underneath the covers. The second you left the bed he had buried himself in a mountain of pillows and blankets. He moves slightly and his head appears, you smile as he sleepily blinks at you. "When did you get up?" he asks, followed by a big yawn. You have to giggle, he's too adorable when he's sleepy. "About twenty minutes ago, I wanted to come back into bed, but you stole all the covers." "Well I had to, it's freezing in here." He sits up, leans against the wall and just looks at you for a while.

Suddenly, a smile appears on his face. "I see I'm not the only one stealing things." "You take my blanket, I take your sweater." you replie jokingly. You love the silly banter you always have, almost as much as you love how big his sweater is on you.

You never used to wear his clothes. When you got together you were much bigger than you are now, and even though your boyfriend always talked about how much he loved thick girls, you never quite believed him. So you committed to reaching your goal weight, and five months into your relationship you finally did it! You even overshot a little, but it's not like you're mad about it.

You suddenly realize that you completely spaced out, on the bed your boyfriend is looking at you with a wide, stupid grin on his face. "You didn't hear a thing I just said, didn't you?" He laughs. Your heart gets a little lighter. How does he do that? "I'm still a bit sleepy, I'll be fully awake when I finish my coffee. What were you saying?" "I was just telling you that I can't be mad at you for stealing my sweater when you look so adorable in it. I feel like you might disappear into it any minute!"

He stands up and walks over to you, then he looks at you in awe before giving you a kiss on the forehead." Aaaaanyway, I'm going to get myself some of that coffee. Are you sure you don't want any cream or sugar in yours?" You shake your head, and he shrugs and leaves the room.

You take another sip of your coffee and a feeling of happiness washes over you. He'd always been an amazing guy, but ever since you got skinny he's been even sweeter, showering you in compliments and always talking about how tiny you are. You have to laugh when you remember that he insisted that he preferred "thick" girls, because it's so obvious now that he was just being nice. You always knew, and that's why you worked so hard to be where you are now. You think back on all those days of fasting, the coke zeros, the miles you ran and ordering a salad when all you wanted was a pizza. It was hard, but as you see him step back into the room, coffee mug in hand and a smile on his face, you realize it was all worth it.

I originally posted this on my old account but it got deleted, so here we are. Stay safe❤️