friendly-neighborhood-arsonist
Enter the Inferno
Hi I'm Rosy (friendly neighborhood arsonist) I use they/aey/he pronouns. I'm queer & neurodivirgent. Reptile Keeper & Enthusiast. Minor. AuDHD Non Binary, Genderqueer. Arsonist. Specialty Pet Keeper & Appreciator. Eldritch Blood God and Maker of Baked Goods. Pfp credit: Nellesto - Picrew
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pouletmalheureux
in the silence, our stage whisper might carry
funky-freshness
•Unconventional•
stedrika
drew
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Went out on vacation recently, found this little guy out on the trails :0
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someone should invent a form of staying in bed and napping all day that also lets me go out for a nice walk in the sunshine
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Inspired by a recent conversation with @motionless-menagerie
If you HAD to which would you rather snort?
Like a live wet long worm, Or one of those crispy sidewalk worms ground into a fine powder
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just abruptly remembered that one of my friends had the absolute best college job, which I am still envious of. If it paid more I would quit lawyering right this minute and go get this job; it didn't pay enough to live on, but the temptation remains.
She was on call 24/7 as an operator for the Grammar Hotline.
Which is, yes, a phone line that you could call at any hour of the day or night to have your emergency grammar questions answered.
Literally none of her calls were boring. It was like 80% writers who had worked their way into a grammatical corner and 20% people having the pettiest arguments who needed an arbiter to decide who was right, and 100% of the time she got to be the platonic ideal of a stuffy librarian. Best job ever.
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Wait are we all ignoring that you apparently threw a shark once? Please tell us more!
My family likes to vacation in Topsail, North Carolina, which is a little barrier island mostly covered in vacation homes. We rent a huge house in their off season, when most people consider it too cold to be at the beach, and we, with our icewater blood, consider it quite pleasantly deserted.
I love going for walks at night, especially when there’s a clear sky, so I, age sixteen, would go a few miles up the beach around midnight most nights. One night, while still about a mile from our house, I saw something rolling in the surf.
“That’s either a plastic bag caught on a log,” I thought, “Or a four foot shark.”
I jogged over. It was not a plastic bag caught on a log.
The shark was moving and didn’t appear to be hurt, but was caught in water only an inch or so deep, being pushed higher with every wave. I was by myself, and didn’t own a cell phone, and couldn’t see a house with lights on in either direction. There was nobody around. Leaving to go get help would probably take long enough for him to suffocate. The best thing I could do for this shark, I figured, would be to get him back in the ocean.
I have no idea how he wound up so high on the beach, because it was a very shallow slope. I’d have to carry him a good fifteen or so feet to get him into water deep enough to swim. It was nearly a full moon, so I could sort of see what I was doing. I got a grip on the shark, careful not to squeeze too hard, in case he was hurt, and picked him up. He didn’t like that at all.
I started walking into the water. Here’s a thing I didn’t know about sharks: They’re pretty damn flexible. I got a couple steps with this shark, looked down, and realized there were a hell of a lot of teeth coming directly at my forearm.
It occurred to me that I had not thought this through very well.
I’m not proud of what I did. It seemed like the best way to get this shark back in deep enough water and avoid dropping thirty pounds of very bitey animal directly on my own toes. So.
I yote the shark with as much force as I could muster.
He curved through the air like a thing of beauty, all angry and toothsome in the moonlight, and splashed wonderfully into the deeper waters. I caught a glimpse of fin diving away shortly after.
And that’s the last I saw of him.
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your minotaur pieces regularly move me to tears. beautiful work i really don't have the words for it
It's something about longing and loneliness and inevitability and tragedy and hope--and there's a reason I usually let the music do the talking! Thank you.
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I did not have the fortitude to resist the beverage contraption but now I have a nice London Fog to drink. So that's something
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why do fake fireplaces always just have fake decorative logs? They could put anything in there.
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Catnip tea for the birthday babies. Malice is so normal about catnip but Vice--unsurprisingly--has a drug problem.
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i was filled with a mad desire to make a plastic lawnchair emote and i spent about a whole day losing my mind over figuring out what i was doing wrong everything, debugging, making unity crash like 5 times, staring at code i could barely comprehend but it was worth it just for this screenshot
(it's a little weird in multiplayer right now but hey. you can sit in a chair with your friends)
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🟢 You are still a writer even when you haven't written in a while.
🟢 You are still a writer even when you feel like you aren't writing enough.
🟢 You are still a writer when you feel like your work isn't good.
🟢 You are still a writer when other people don't like your work.
🟢 You are still a writer when you aren't published.
🟢 You are still a writer when you only have works in progress.
🟢 You are still a writer if all you write is fanfiction.
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You just died. Upon entering the door to afterlife, an angel and a demon welcomes you. In front of you is a pen and a blank sheet of paper. Their only instruction was “write”.
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The Genie stared at you in disbelief, asking you why you would make such a foolish wish that affect so many people. You respond with a shrug and answer with “I just want to see what would happen.”
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Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.
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I'm dying at this
“If the military wanted me to have a spouse they would issue me one.” The military did and they issued you one.
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