about to say something mean but i feel like every "male-specific" issue is something that also happens to women its just that a lot of you dont seem to see women as people

the phrase "why? well, it's a sex thing for me" is always on the tip of my tongue and one of these days it's going to slip free with catastrophic consequences

how?? just how?

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on

last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere

i wasn’t joking

people should give me money so i can get more tattoos and look hotter and sexier

everyday I pray Zillow makes a comment section

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

stop getting so obsessed with fictional dudes like get real. start downloading millions of images of real men with families

Men in thongs is part of the food pyramid now

Source: Becoming Visible; An Illustrated History Of Lesbian And Gay Life In Twentieth-Century America- by Molly McGary and Fred Wasserman

The remaining monarchies in Europe are so random.

Like some of them are obvious like the UK (they have "kingdom" in the name) and Spain. Tiny principalities like Monaco, Lichtenstein, and Andorra are whatever.

But then you have the Nordic countries. Belgium. Fucking Netherlands.

Do you know who the king of the Netherlands is? It's this guy

He looks like somebody's distantly related uncle at a wedding.

this is the hardest any single image has ever gone