First day attempting 40m (I tried 50m, and though I could hit the target, the vanes weren't clearing my sight and I forgot my allen keys at home! 😱). Really happy with my new arrows. It was pretty breezy but they were great ✌🏼️#archery #archerylife #victoryarrows #psearchery #eastonarchery #fivics #ishootastan #shootlikeagirl #idontwearbowsishootthem #zombieapocalypseready #draw #aim #release #sureloc #targetarchery #compoundbow #tiroconarco (at Cedar Creek Park)

Shooting my new Victory arrows for the first time today. Buried that one! While they're not outdoor target arrows, I'm sure they're gonna be great. 20 yards today, 50 metres Thursday 🤠🏹🎯 #archery #practicemakesperfect #victoryarrows #shootlikeagirl #idontwearbowsishootthem #ishootastan #stanshootoff #eastonarchery #legendarchery #archerylife #archerybum #archeryaddict #thisismyzen #tiroconarco #draw #aim #release #fivics #lifeatfulldraw #psearchery #sureloc

In 😍😍😍 These gorgeous beauties were calling my name! #puma #pumabasket #pumabasketswan #swan #irredescent #irridescence #feathers #blackvelvet #inlove

My "opening day" had naught to do with baseball 💁🏻 Shot 30 meters today for about the 3rd time ever on a pretty windy day. Happy to hit the target almost every time. Let's blame the wind for the strays 😝 #archery #archerylife #archerybum #letyourarrowsfly #idontwearbowsishootthem #shootlikeagirl #ishootastan #psearchery #fivics #easton #eastonarrows #sureloc #outdoorarchery #sunshine #openingday (at Cedar Creek Park)

When you've just done the hardest thing in your life and no one cares, you gotta just treat yo'self. To single malt Scotch! #aberlour #aberlour12 #sınglemalt #sınglemaltscotchwhisky #whisky #speyside #doublecask #whiskyneat

Ouch. Know the feeling

Grumbles

It's kinda sad that I ended up having to go rogue on Tumblr because no where else do I feel safe. Don't you just love it when your family, who's supposed to be loving and supporting, only is if it works for them? Like, heaven forbid you have other ideas - even if they end up aligning years down the road. But because of that, you can never go back, and now that you've seen them in this light, you don't even want to. I loved my family. Every last one of them. They meant the world to me. Life happened, threw me for a major loop. Not quite ready to talk about it yet. Anyway, I just wanted time - time to weigh out my options, see what was best for me. After all, this happened to me, not them. Of course, this was unacceptable in their eyes. I was shunned. I saw their very ugly side, and I can't un-see it. If they had just given me the time I needed - to take care of myself, recover - I may have come to my ultimate decision years earlier. A decision, I might add, is what they wanted - nay - expected me to make. But it was my decision to make. It impacted MY life in a permanent way. What? They didn't want the stain of my once other half on them? Like, they all took the same vows as I did when they were married. "Till death" and all that jazz. I was trying. And them wanting me to leave only drove me closer to him, because I was clinging on to all I had left. I was abandoned when I needed them the most. All their initial words of comfort: I'm here for you any time, just call, yada yada. It was all bull shit. I didn't decide right away. And, something I've learned as someone who already suffered major depression, you don't ever make life altering decisions when you are crazy emotional. And I was. It's taken me years to finally arrive at the terrifying decision to divorce the love of my life. It's not even that he destroyed the relationship I once had with my family, because now I've seen this side of them, fucking good riddance. There are a handful - just ONE handful, that allowed me time, whether or not they agreed with me, and I still have a good relationship with them. I filed for divorce last week. That night, my dad ended up going to hospital. He's still there, and no one is sure what exactly is wrong, so he's going to be there for some time. He's got Parkinsons, asthma, bronchitis, flu, and God knows what else. But he's this really brilliant man, and in there, he's so confused. He speaks nonsense. He doesn't remember people being in to visit him. He's probably delirious with fever - he was mentioning monkeys and elephants in the room... So yeah, my mom has got a lot on her plate. But she never even asked me once if I was ok. Not once. Instead, hurry up and take me to see your father! Now she's got the flu so it's more like, hurry up and go see your father. He needs someone to feed him! Hangs up on me. Are you serious, woman? Having my dad in the hospital is really hard. Having filed for divorce is excruciating. Each of those on their own is really difficult. Having to deal with both is more than overwhelming. I've had suicidal thoughts before, was hospitalized for it once before, but that was more due to depression. Yes, I'm depressed now, but I just can't cope with all of it. It's too much. I can't rely on anyone else because it's like, you know they're going to let you down at some point. Maybe not even on purpose, but they will. My soon to be ex husband destroyed my trust. I gave him everything. All of me. Mind, body, soul. I forfeited everything to him. Lost myself in him. Looking back and thinking of myself that way, it's sad. But I was so happy. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise that what happened happened. I'm just having a really rough go, had no where else to turn. The one parent I could actually talk to is lost somewhere. My mom? She's really not good for me. She's more tightly wound than anyone I've ever met, and even me so, now that my dad is sick. I was never close to her. I have never gone to her for anything. She's not safe. My dad was. I hope he will be, again, and soon. I hate seeing him in hospital.