forsakensakura - Tumblr blog

forsakensakura · 2 years

Text

Euphemism

SUMMARY: Y/N is from a traditional household and some topics were off limits. Levi's upbringing didn't have such a thing as "off limits".

Y/N thinks she may be pregnant, Levi reassures her that's not how it works and there's no shame in her female conditions.

She doesn't agree and Levi still has a lot to understand how the surface society works like.

This is a spin-off from my multichapter fic BUT you don't need to know much to understand it.

Y/N is from a wealthy family, she's younger than Levi but they are both training partners after Levi joined the scouts.

Erwin isn't a commander yet.

Y/N and Levi got handy a few months ago (they made out, Levi ate her out but stopped right after getting on the big deal because it was her first time and she wasn't ready yet,)

WARNINGS: mentions of pregnancy, suggestive terms and cursing 'cause Levi.

My eyes opened up in disbelief as I looked at the calendar that was peacefully and innocently lying on top of Erwin’s desk. ‘March…’ my mind read ‘It’s March already, 7th to be precise’

Time felt like some never ending routine after we got over the unending night watches with little sleep. With everybody coming back, the expedition and more; I felt like I lost track of time. My mind tried to count days, desperately trying to find missing days that could make the counting lower. The tray and card were left on top of the desk as I abandoned the office bitting my nails with worry.

I had previously stated it. I knew little to nothing about my anatomy back then. The little knowledge that had been shared to me was more lies and tale-tells than realistic information. The sudden crucified of my actions a couple of months ago passed in my mind as a picture book, one after the other as my less pure side made an emphasis on bringing back the mental sequence of him taking off his shirt while smirking and then going down to kiss me, or better say devore me, take my breath as if he needed the oxygen on my own lungs for himself. Perhaps, the rocking of his bare hips against mines, with his manhood in full display for me to see as it stocked against my lower stomach.

I took a shower before our arranged night shift and admired my body in the bathroom's mirror. Touching my lower belly, confused, it appeared normal, but yet I thought, ‘maybe it takes longer to show… no no, maybe I’m not. But what if I am ?’

‘Who do I tell? Who do I ask? What do I do?’

“Oi, are you going to tell me what the fuck is up with you or not?” Levi asked pissed off already after an entire day of him asking “You alright?” and me answering with a face that seemed far from ok said “Yes”. He was resting his body on the railing of the watch post, with a hot cup of tea between his hands.

“Nothing,” my voice came out whispery and sad and he sighed loudly and groaned in pain.

“Just said it. Don’t be like ‘nothing’” He made an emphasis on the last word with sarcasm and disdain and kept going “with the most fucked up face. It’s obvious that something is going on. Don’t be a pain in the ass and said it. Cut the show.”

A part of me wanted to be mad at him for saying that I wasn’t making a show or a scene. “It’s nothing that concerns you,” my response came dubitable, which made Levi kept up the demanding attitude, as if this time he wasn’t taking that as an answer “It doesn’t concern you… you as a man,”

There was a brief silence before he sighed loudly. “You’re on the rags, that’s it?” I raised an eyebrow to the euphemism that was a bit more “street like” than what I was used. “You’re on your period, you’re bleeding. That’s what I meant.”

Leaving to a side that it wasn’t the first time and won’t be the last that despite both of us talking the same language as every human inside of the walls, Underground slag and Shina’s wall slag was so distance sometimes that we got lost in translation. When I got what he meant, I blushed intensely, ashamed. “No and god, you could be a bit more delicate about it,”

Possibly, I wasn’t used to bring the topic around the other gender. I had been told (since it happened for the first time) the bearable minimum amount of information as “you’re a woman now, it will happen every month, men must not know”. Telling Levi was breaking one of the three rules set in stone for me. The second rule was also broken, so I was feeling like stepping on a completely foreign land.

The permanent wrinkled frown in Levi’s complexion was slightly changed with the addition of a raised, thin eyebrow. “If you’re not, then what’s the problem?”

I joined on the frowning team and avoided his glance with questionable security and mortified appearance. “More like.. the lack of it?”

“Why are you worried about it? You should have gotten it and it didn’t come?” Levi’s straightforward nature was testing my limits of politeness.

“Well, you know!” I cussed him “That I may be expecting” I whispered the last part terrified that someone may even hear me, in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. As if those words could travel through walls and arrive at someone.

This was the time for him to go shocked and surprised. His eyebrows raised and his eyes opened. Levi was quick to question, “Did you fuck someone?”

My coldness was lost, and I pressed my lips together while raising both eyebrows, irritated. “You!”

My training partner, not following my track of mind, admired me in confusion before saying, “How could I get you knocked up? That’s impossible, unless you lied about it and Erwin got you knocked up.”

Gasping in disbelief, “Are you already questioning my honestly to you?” I felt dreadfully offended. I turned around and gave him my back. “My grandmother was right. Men back up so easily. They leave you as soon as they find out.”

He spoke up again after I heard him click his tongue behind me. “I didn’t say any of that. I said that’s impossible that I got you knocked up,”

“Couldn’t you be softer about it? You say it so harsh,” I complained about his sharp tongue. As a silent reply, the hand that wasn’t holding the cup left his trousers’ pocket and raised as he also crocked an eyebrow; in completely misunderstanding of what was wrong with his choice of words “I don’t know, maybe a bun in the over or with child”

I was freaking out inside out and Levi dedicated me his best disinterest look after my correction of words “What am I going to do?” questioning to none in particular as i felt the fear kicking in.

“Did you fuck someone else?” Levi repeated the question.

“No!” I answered, offended.

“Then you’re not pregnant, chill. Calm down,” As soon as those words left his lips, and I turned around with a dead gaze, he his free hand raised again but this time as some sort of white flag “Fine, fucking terrible choice of words” Aware that not a single person in human history had calmed down after being told so.

“You don’t know that,” I murmured as a reply to his first statement.

“I think I kinda do,” The calmness in hi tone and the disinterest in his face made me even more infuriated.

“People in my life, especially my family, had made it clear before. Messing around with a man could lead to pregnancy. We were both naked and your… your thing was touching me and close by. I don’t know! Maybe it worked somehow,” I desperately tried to express my fears until I heard him chuckled. I felt like tiring of dedicating him dead glances.

“Sorry,” He apologizes, probably realising that laughing in my face wasn’t helping. “I may not be the most educated moron around here, but that simply is not how it works. I didn’t put my dick in, not even close so, you’re safe,”

“Are you implying that you know more than everybody around me?”

“More about sex than a bunch of well-raised fuckers that needed you virgin to marry another well-raised fucker? Yeah, I’m sure of that” As he arrived at the end of his reply, he couldn’t stop a side smirk to appear on his features and then he took a sip from his tea. "If getting knocked up was that easy, girly, there would be more kids than fucking grass,”

My stubbornness didn’t allow me to believe him. I walked around the watch post worrying, “What if I need to carry it on? What if Thomas makes me get rid of it? Isn’t that like a vast deal that God punishes severely? I’m ready for that. I’m not ready to be a mother either.”

Levi rolled his eyes and shook his head. “If god exists, it’s too fucking busy dealing with mass murders, genocidal, rapers, pedophiles, sex slavers, organ traffickers and politicians to take care of your little slip, brat. I told you, you’re not knocked up.”

When he noticed I wasn’t really paying him attention, Levi took a cup and filled it up with tea. He placed it in my hands and grabbed my face. “Calm the fuck down. Why would I lie to you? If it was possible, don’t you think I would freak out? Drink a tea and relax for goodness’ sake. We are one week away from an expedition, and you’re stressed as a fucking corner rat. Of course, your period is not going down.”

“Alright,” I stuttered. “But if I were, would you take care of me?” I gave him my best doe's eyes as Levi dedicated me his best stoic face.

“Of course,” he came along so tired of me, but the security in his voice and the fact that he replied alarmingly quickly made me smile even when he was still holding my face with his hand.

Stress is never an excellent ally. He was right in everything. We came back from the expedition; I relaxed for a few days and it came right in, making me wonder why was I missing it. If there’s something worse than a period is a late one, hormones are fucked up and everything hurts twice as hard.

Trying was a generous word for my attempts at pretending I wasn’t in so much pain that made me wish I’d never left my bed. It was a mix between the constant feeling of unconformity for the unstoppable waves of pain mixed with a boiling sensation in my lower belly. Let’s not even mention the random rushes of intense pain in my butt that made me feel as if time freeze until the sensation slowly passed off. I felt moody, but mostly because the uniform felt like it did pressure in all the wrong places. It was too tight, complicated, unpractical, itchy and cold or warm or anything. I wanted to put a long shirt on and lay on my bed for a week.

My fork displaced the food from one side to the other. I was hungry, but not for breakfast. The usual meal felt like an insult to my state. ‘I want comfort food, not healthy shit for training’

“Why the shitty face? Are you constipated?” Levi shut the question and my initial thought was ‘Yes, try going to the bathroom normally when you feel like dying,’

“I’ve a headache,” I replied miserable.

Levi looked at me from the other side of the table and said, “Oh, your blood finally came?”

Choking on the glass of water I was having when he said it so unfaced to them, coughing loudly. When I finally riposte, my embarrassed expression made it across the table as I felt my cheeks burning. “Don’t say that! Or at least not like that. Haven’t you imagined that a headache is a social clue of you’re a man and I don’t want you to know?”

Levi, who once again wasn’t getting my reactions, kept the uninterested facade and raised the teacup to his lips “I don’t get your fucking embarrassment, men know it. It’s not a secret,”

“Some men don’t know,” I replied quickly, not sharing the eye’s contact. “Chris didn’t know,”

“I said men not brats,”

“Anyway, you’re not supposed to know or share. It’s girls’ stuff,” I tried desperately to keep the traditions I was told, that Levi was so obstinate by going against it. Which made me recall a scene during the expedition. “You confronted Nifa about it too. She was so ashamed. Don’t do that,”

“I don’t fucking get it. It’s normal. Why are people here on the surface so fucking obsessed about hiding normal shit?” Levi, who was still getting used to another society, snarled.

The necessity to counter left my body as I writhe in pain with another stroke of those painful cramps. I tried to hide it the best I could because even if Levi already knew; I felt like expressing my pain was something he didn’t want to hear.

“If you feel that bad, go to bed and rest.” his voice came out calm and monotone as always, but there were tints of compassion escaping his stoic expression.

“I can’t tell the superiors,” I used as an excuse. I only stayed behind twice before.

Levi clicked his tongue, annoyed, “Who cares, what’s the fucking point of you training feeling like this? Go, rest and I will tell Erwin,”

“Erwin shouldn’t know,” I cried out loud, as if that was the worst fate.

“Don’t be an idiot. Erwin has hair in his balls. He knows how it works.” Levi felt as if I was talking nonsense but when he saw my conflicted face added, “I will tell him you catch a cold, whatever, so rest. I’ll do your chores”

“You sure?”

”Just go, for fuck’s sake”

I did exactly that. At first I felt I shouldn’t because I could take it, but as soon as I arrived at my shared bedroom and I changed my clothes and laid quietly on the bed; I knew I didn’t want to be anywhere else. I felt asleep; it was still early anyway, so it was more like resume the rest of the night than an actual nap. At midday, I had an early lunch with Petra and then returned to my bed. Later on, a few hours before dinner, I was feeling quite bad, but I wasn’t tired enough to take another nap. Laying on my side, curled up as I read a book slowly because it was hard to read from that position. One someone knocked on the door, weirdly because my friends would have just rushed in..

“Come in!” I said as reincorporated myself slowly and lazily.

Levi figure appeared, and I felt the hasted necessity to ease out my hair that was heavily tangled from laying on the bed all day. “What are you doing here?” I questioned quickly as running hands through my hair, as I added confused “Men are not allowed in the female barracks”

Levi left a tray with tea and some buns with jelly that probably remained from breakfast on my nightstand as he moved next to me between the two bunk beds. “Who is gonna keep me out?” He replied monotone, as if we both knew nobody was going to pick up a fight with him or get on his bad side by snitching to a superior.

Before I could thank him, he asked me, “You have a hot water bottle?”

“Hm, yeah, but it’s cold already,” I replied, still confused. He extended a hand as a silent gesture of “give it to me”.

Once I handle it to him, he declared, “I’ll come back later,” as if he was ready to leave. “Drink the tea before it runs cold. Bread with jelly was the closest thing to something your bratty sweet tooth would like,”

I accepted the warm cup he was handling me with a tender smile. “Thank you so much, you shouldn’t have.”

“How are you feeling?” Levi asked as he kept his eyes on me while I tasted the tea. ‘Chamomile’

“Could be worst, I’ll survive,” I replied, still ashamed that he was around. “Did you warned the higher-ups?”

Levi nodded. “Told him you had a headache. Erwin said to take it easy today and you let him know how you feel tomorrow. He said something about administrational activities or some bullshit like that if you weren’t feeling alright for training still,”

A white lie that I accepted blindly. Levi left right after that while I had some afternoon tea. He came back a few minutes later with the hot water bottle but didn’t stay, probably because it was against the rules for him to be there. It was a mixed feeling, the one of being taken care for him but also him being aware of it. While resting warm at the bed I thought ‘If it’s only him knowing, I could get used to this kind of pampering,’

A white lie because when Levi walked to Erwin, who was leading his squad’s early morning training, he stood in front of him and said “Y/N isn’t training today, she’s bleeding,”

The blunt out spitted words made the blond, that was casually writing on a spreadsheet, snap quickly in shock and then chuckled slightly out of nervous “O-oh alright, I’ll write her down as indisposed,”

“Don’t tell me you’re fucking ashamed, too?” Levi rested his hands on his hips, looking deeply into his squad leader at that moment.

Erwin, that was probably smiling at the situation he wasn’t expecting to affront so early in the morning, said, “Well no, but usually people are a bit more discreet… specially the girls,” Levi clicked his tongue, annoyed before Erwin added “I highly doubt Y/N told you to tell me that,”

“She told me to say she had a headache,”

“Of course,” Erwin chuckled, as it was obvious those were not my words. “Try to be softer next time, if one day you’re going to have girls under your command. They get really embarrassed, especially when they are young,”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Got it. I’ll add it to my long list of stuff that you fuckers from the surface get scared about.”

He was ready to go back to training while Erwin let the swears slip by as if he was tiring of calling Levi’s attention out for those, when he asked, “Do you have chamomile tea?”

Erwin raised his attention from the spreadsheet to look at the shorter man and simply replied, “No. I’ve black tea,”

“Tch, it’s for the brat,” Levi clarified, as if that would make a difference.

“I imagined, but no. I can give you black tea if you want.” Erwin insisted, confused on why the specificity.

Levi frowned. “That doesn’t work, moron. Caffeine makes cramps worst, chamomile works better. Don’t you know that shit?”

The blonde shook his head, not ashamed of admitting his lack of knowledge. “Usually female cadets don’t talk to us about that,”

“About their bleeding? Don’t you have a little sister?” Levi questioned back, as if that was reason enough.

“Step-sister and she was born after I joined the military. We never shared a household,” Erwin explained, as he went back to his work, disinterested. Added “And we prefer to call it indisposed,” instructing him again about it.

“Tch, got it, will be added to the other list of stuff I should say instead,” Levi said, giving an end to the conversation as he turned around and walked away.

Or so he thought, because Erwin spoke up again. His attention was still on his paperwork while he switched the weight from one leg to the other, making the little rocks of the training ground move and crack “Euphemisms,”

The former thug looked back over his shoulder, frowning, and asked, “What?” from a slightly bigger distance now.

“Euphemisms,” Erwin repeated as if the question was because the cadet didn’t hear it. But as soon as the blond didn’t get an answer, he proceeded to explain, “An euphemism is a word or phrase used to avoid saying an unpleasant or offensive word,”

Erwin had no intention of doing a display of education to the former thug, more of a plain explanation. The blond even raised his eyes and did a slight smile as a “white flag” or not trying to sound superior in his explanation.

To what Levi replied with his best dead expression and said, “You surface assholes known that shit but not about chamomile tea? You should check your priorities.”

This time, the black-haired cadet truly walked away as he heard his superior chuckle a bit.

“Check on Hange. They may have the tea,”

54 notes · View notes