Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017

Waiting all damn day for the weekend Lately I been feeling shit been off the deep end And I been waiting I been waiting round for time I been waiting round for yours I been waiting round for mine And this waiting never help me nah this waiting never grind Nah this waiting fucking kill me yea this waitings like a crime

how dare u reblog my posts but not follow me

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

this is the kind of wholesome content this website desperately needs

The sun comes up, I think about you The coffee cup, I think about you I want you so, it's like I'm losing my mind The morning ends, I think about you I talk to friends and think about you And do they know it's like I'm losing my mind? All afternoon doing every little chore The thought of you stays bright Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor Not going left, not going right I dim the lights and think about you Spend sleepless nights to think about you You said you loved me, or were you just being kind? Or am I losing My mind? All afternoon doing every little chore The thought of you stays bright Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor Not going left, not going right I dim the lights and think about you Spend sleepless nights to think about you You said you loved me, or were you just being kind? Or am I losing my mind? Or am I losing Losing my mind? You said you loved me, or were you just being kind? Or am I losing my mind? Were you just being kind? Or am I losing my mind? Losing my mind? Losing my mind?

Sondheim

They are having an intense conversation

Good dads are good

These dads took their daughters to a concert and I legit cannot handle my feelings right now.

The fact that one of them is even wearing the merch

CUPCAKKE IS DOING THE LORD’S WORK

Ma jar

Just Straight Things #65

covering your kid’s eyes when two men kiss on tv

the shrimp facebook group i am a part of is wild