there’s no shame in admitting that none of us have any concept of how big a whale is

literally one of my favorite tweets ever

repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

The way I would tell my BF no if he didn’t first ask my father for my hand before proposing like what do you mean you didn’t ask my dad!!!!!??????

You bring the cock. I'll bring the cum.

i gotta feeling that i peed all the pee from my penis that i peed all the pee from my penis that i peed all the pee from my pee, penis

hi rin can you draw me an oregon license plate

of course peri

hmmm

annoying white dad on say yes to the dress: i don’t like the dress, i don’t want anyone to know she has boobs she’s my little angel me yelling at my tv: she’s 30 years old roger it’s time to fuck off

stop i NEED that pic of the boy who took his cat to prom and she has a lil dress and is looking up at him with 100% love and tenderness……..

💘💖💝

"You got vampire lore wrong in your story because real vampires do this and that" Buddy I have terrible news about all of vampires. Heartbreaking news. Worst news you're gonna hear all day.

i wish conventionally unattractive women were able to be successful in the performing arts the same way conventionally unattractive men are. men just get to be talented. women have to be talented and fuckable