Last Seen Blogs
argad-etectives
Arga detectives
thesmilee
life is tough, but darling, so are you.
d4rkwater
𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐡.
lastshera
HIMBO
metacrtic
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see the thing about neil is. he loooooves to throw siblings at each other to help them. oh aaron won’t stop blaming andrew for tilda’s death? let’s remind him that andrew did it for him, to protect him, not for his own satisfaction. oh jean won’t stop telling himself he’s scum of the earth? let’s remind him his sister is dead bc of that thinking and didn’t have to be. neil is an only child thru and thru and thank god for that because imagine if he had a sibling to look after… he’d have burned half the world by now
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can't get the mental image out of my head of Kevin, Neil and Andrew winning at the Olympics and the minute the final buzzer sounds Kevin runs over and bear hugs Neil and Andrew, one under each arm, and just fucking hoists them both up off the ground in sheer excitement
like I'm literally making myself emotional at the thought of Kevin Day achieving his life long dream. And I mean this is Kevin Day, insecurities aside, he probably knew deep down that this day would come. But the fact that he gets to do it with his two best friends by his side who he loves and respects and who love and respect him. Actually crying rn
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headcanon: neil has an autoimmune disorder (becuase i have one and i like projecting)
neil had been on the run for so long, and gotten so many injuries that it made sense that he was always sore in the morning. and then he started playing exy for a division 1 team so it was even easier to excuse.
it wasn’t until andrew started sharing a room with him, and saw him limp around the room getting dressed for his run at 5am that anyone noticed something was off.
neil tried to brush it off as not having stretched well the night before, but andrew started paying more attention.
neil was objectively very strong, but sometimes he seemed to struggle with basic things. he couldn’t open jars late at nights. in the mornings he never took the stairs until after his run. whenever he had to stand for extended periods of time, he always leaned against a wall or furniture. his fingers always seemed to be slightly swollen even though he didn’t injure them during practice.
andrew decided to do some research. he googled everything he had noticed, and found a number of results ranging from muscle exhaustion to cancer. so he caved and talked to aaron, who told him to google it or talk to abby, an actual doctor.
at neil’s next physical andrew tagged along with a mental list of symptoms to tell abby. when she asked neil if he had health concerns, andrew interjected before neil could say his usual “no, i’m fine.”
abby ran extra blood work with the usual drug tests, and multiple tests came back with markers for autoimmune disorders.
after that he was referred to a rheumatologist. andrew went with him to all his appointments, becuase neil knew that he wasn’t very self aware when it came to his health and he didn’t have very good experiences with doctors in the past.
the doctor ran more tests and told them that neil had autoimmune arthritis, and gave him a prescription for a medication to manage inflammation.
andrew made neil a special backpack full of pain management items. ice packs, hot packs, and anti inflammatory lotion for sore joints. a handicap tag for after games, or when he wanted to avoid long walks in a crowded parking lot. tylenol with a special lid, so he knew what time he last took it and when he could take it again.
he wears a mask whenever he goes to crowded places, becuase he is on immuno-compromising drugs for inflammation and pain management.
after away games, on the bus back, andrew will hold neil’s legs on his lap to rub his knees for him.
whenever anyone asks neil to do something he doesn’t like he’ll say “no, i’m disabled.”
as soon as kevin learns of neil’s diagnosis he googles the prescriptions neil is on to see if they do sponsorships.
bee gave andrew pamphlets for neil about how to cope woth chronic pain.
matt, dan, and nicky are very concerned about neil’s health and offer to carry his bags and/or him whenever he needs them to.
allison made up a fake scholarship and sent it to neil’s school email telling him he’d won a scholarship that covered his health insurance, which he then accepted without consulting andrew.
renee buys him a pill case and help him fill it each week. she carries extra heat and ice packs in her bag in case neil runs out.
aaron periodically forwards him research articles and drug and treatment methods related to autoimmune arthritis.
neil has a foldable cane to carry when he uses his handicap tag and wants to avoid nosy ableist people from feeling the need to confront him for using a handicap spot.
someone gifted neil a shirt that says “my pain may be chronic but my ass is iconic” and he wears it way too often.
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It all starts in one of Andrew’s criminal justice classes. It was specifically for analyzing the sociology of criminals. (how victim-abuser relationships work, criminal empires, the structure of how criminals interact with other people, etc.)
Andrew likes his degree. He really does. And having to admit that, even to himself is as Bee would put it: a big step forward
He doesn’t care enough to shove it away. It feels… interesting. The whole field is interesting.
But then theres times like- this.
That makes Andrew want to commit another felony himself.
It was not long after the Baltimore incident.
Only a month after.
And his sociology professor comes in with a peculiar pep in her step.
She sets down her notes for the day and waits for the rest of the students to file in.
Once everyone is settled she plastered on this big grin
“Everybody, I have something to share.” She said it as if she was trying to contain her excitement but everyone knew she was practically bursting with it. “If any of you are avid on keeping up with news involving big criminal networks you would have seen an absolutely astounding albeit vague breakthrough about a month ago.”
Andrew felt his stomach clench. If she was going where he thought she was going with this…
“Some of you criminal conspiracy theorists out there know all about infamous Wesninski scandal.”
Andrew felt a spark of anger begin to boil but he absolutely refused to show anything outwardly. He heard some classmates that were the avid conspirators start to also whisper excitedly. Andrew clenched his hand into a fist under the desk so hard he could feel half moon marks forming on his palms.
“For those of you who dont…”
She then pressed a button on her remote and the projector started to turn on.
An article titled “The Blood of the Fallen Wesniski Family” appeared on the screen. It had the picture of a giant house-closer to a mansion-on the front that Andrew could only assume was the Wesninski’s.
“This article was published this morning. A month ago there had been a news story about a big bust in the Wesninski house reporting several murders of the occupants inside, but the police refused to release any more information than that. It was huge, considering many had speculated exactly what has been happening involving the Wesninski’s for years.”
“But this morning the FBI finally released information about what had happened.”
His professor scrolled down past the picture to start reading the article outloud.
“Nathan Wesninski, Lola Malcolm, Patrick DiMaccio and 7 other victims have been reported dead, found around and mostly in a hidden basement of the Wesninski household.”
It then went on to talk about the cause of death, why the FBI had been withholding this information, and the speculation on who killed them.
Suddenly she scrolled down and a picture of Neil showed up. There were a few audible gasps in the room. A select couple were from recognition, the rest were from the shock of the images.
Andrew had seen Neil in the hotel. But that was after he had gotten medical care.
This was when the police and press had arrived right after he narrowly escaped death.
Andrew felt such a white hot rage that he could feel his lips curling upwards in a snarl.
Neil was being man handled by a cop in the image, his hair a matted mess and blood was everywhere. The lacerations and burns on his cheeks were stark against his pale face. The shirt- the fucking shirt that Andrew saw Neil leave in before the riot was stained with so much fresh blood and sweat.
The worst part-
The worst part though was that in the image Neil was doubled over laughing. His eyes were filled with panic and hysteria and his mouth was wide. Andrew could hear his own laughter filling his ears when Drake-
Andrew pushed that aside in favor of trying to contain his immense anger. To contain the temptation of burning this fucking school into the ground.
“Some of you might recognize this man. He actually goes to our very school” the professor informed the class with such elation.
“This is Nathaniel Wesninski. Nathan Wesninski’s son. He barely survived the events of what happened that night, and informed the FBI that the suspicions the police and other crime enthusiasts have had over the Wesninski’s were true.”
Andrew tuned out the rest of his professors ramblings on the theories and the confirmed murders and tortures the Wesninski circle was involved in until the name Nathaniel was mentioned again.
“Nathaniel is actually on our Exy team-”
Andrew surprised himself when he heard himself snarl “His name is Neil Josten.”
Suddenly all eyes shifted onto him. The woman then had a look on her face like she just realised who exactly was in the class room.
“Ah.. uh, yes Mr. Minyard is correct. Nathaniel and recently changed his name to Neil Josten in an effort to distance himself from the Wesninski history and name.”
She seemed to realize how insensitive this entire situation was because her joy and excitement noticeably dimmed.
After a few more words she went on with the actual lesson that day.
Andrew couldn’t pay attention. His focus much more attuned towards Bee’s breathing exercises that weren’t working in calming him down.
After class was over Andrew was just about to be leaving when his professor stopped him. “Ah Mr. Minyard, a word?”
Andrew turned his head but didnt come near her.
She sidled up to him instead and said “I know you are on the college Exy team, and I have seen you with Wesnin- ah Josten in the halls.”
Andrew felt himself clenching his fists again
“I was wondering, if it is alright with him of course, if you could possibly talk to Mr. Josten and ask him if he’d be able to guest speak on the next lecture?”
Andrew stared at her in disbelief, but to her in must have just been a blank mask.
“How about this.” Andrew started
“The next time you decide to use a student, a human being, that you are trained to teach and to respect and coincide with as something for you to squeal over like a scientist dissecting a specimen, ask yourself this. Am I being professional? Am I being a person with common sense? Am I being someone who can fall asleep without crying over how pathetic my life has become? I can already guess that the answer to all these questions is no. No you are not. So stow away this asinine facisnation with other people’s serious trauma and act like a goddamn fucking professional.”
Andrew then turned around and left without a word.
Later that day Andrew entered the dorm after his classes were done and set his things down.
Neil was on the couch already, spacing out looking at the wall.
“Browning called this morning.” He said after Andrew had settled himself on the arm of the couch.
“Said that they released the information to the public about Baltimore.”
Andrew showed no reaction to this information, which he knew Neil would interpret as Andrew already knowing.
Neil gave a cruel smile and looked at Andrew. “Do you know how many people have approached me today? Asking about it?”
Andrew kept his face blank, giving Neil the foundation of nothingness he needed.
There was a tense couple of minutes of just staring before Neil’s smile finally cracked and he looked at his lap in defeat. Andrew could see how tired he was.
“They asked. They asked why I laughed.”
Andrew finally moved to sit next to Neil and put a hand onto his neck for much needed comfort.
Neil side eyed Andrew and started elaborating “…There was an image the press took that had been withheld by the FBI until now… it was of me-”
He couldnt hear Neil say it. Couldnt hear Neil relive it. “I saw.” Andrew interrupted.
Neil looked at him fully, twisting his body towards Andrew.
“Yes or no?” He asked in a quiet and weakened voice.
Andrew saw the fresh scars on Neil’s face. Saw the black armbands he wore proudly. Saw the eyes that usually held such a burning fire but now only held a dim flame. He saw a man who has survived so much. He saw a man that he knew better than himself and he saw a man just like him.
“Yes.”
Neil, very slowly, learned towards Andrew until his face was buried in his neck and his weight was on Andrew completely. He kept his hands to himself.
Andrew buried one of his hands in Neil’s hair, rubbing circles in the scalp and with the other hand he gently grabbed one of Neil’s to lace their fingers together.
A sighed escaped Neil’s lips and tickled Andrew’s neck, effectively giving him goosebumps all over his arms.
Andrew tilted his face into Neil’s hair and murmured “I did too.”
He knew Neil knew what he meant.
He knew Neil had heard his manic laughter when they discovered him bloody and numb and high on his pills.
Neil nuzzled in further, not responding.
The message was clear anyways.
You’re like me.
We are both damaged and the world will never understand,
But at least we have eachother.
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I love that scene in tkm where Wymack tells Neil he's going to make him vice captain the next year and Neil tries to politely decline (on the grounds that he'll be dead by then) and Wymack is literally like too bad bitch. This isn't a democracy and i say you're the next captain so figure it out
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obsessed with my commission from @emry-stars-art , I just like thinking about these boys getting to be happy 🥹
(Andrew showing it in his own way, grabbing Kevin’s jersey, I am deceased)
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one of the funniest things about percy exploring the mythic world is that unlike other children’s fantasy stories, there is absolutely no starry-eyed wonder, instead percy’s just going “ah fuck” at the tenth vaguely greek looking structure or yet another unexplainable magical occurrence. more than excitement at discovering this new world, he is just so tired of all the bullshit surrounding him 24/7 and i think it’s just so valid.
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rick riordan having percy think of jason telling him his dream of growing old with piper and it inspiring percy to embrace his own dream of growing old with annabeth and grover has to be the most diabolical, evil, MEAN thing i have ever read from an author, and this is the same man that wrote the cliffhanger in mark of athena. i read jujutsu kaisen. i have read trigun maximum. this is worse. this is fucking LETHAL
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I know this is not new information, but I've seen a fresh wave of people confused about what the fuck Andrew planned to do as a 5'0 man with a knife against the literal mafia, so.
I think the fact that neither Neil nor Kevin lost their faith in Andrew’s ability to protect them after he was attacked by Drake (unable to stand his ground against a single man with a bottle, let alone the Yakuza/Nathan with their guns) is the best proof we have that the deal was never about physical protection. This is confirmed by the way Neil never expects Andrew to save him from his father, in fact cuts him loose before Baltimore as soon as danger is truly near.
Andrew is a pretty self-aware character, and he wouldn't make promises he knows he can't possibly see through, so I think he knows what Kevin and Neil also know: what they need from him, and thus what he promises, is not physical protection.
To Kevin, he promises safety from the Moriyamas, and the way we see him enact that safety (at Kathy's show, at the banquet) shows exactly what it's about: when Riko starts getting into your head, when he makes you doubt yourself, makes you think maybe you should go back to Evermore, I won't let you. I will get you away from him, I will treat him like he's just some dude to remind you that you can face him without kneeling. I will be your spine until you find your own, I will stand my ground for you until you can do it yourself.
That's why the scene when Kevin gets to the dorm with his tattoo and Andrew's eyes show so much feeling is huge not just for Kevin but for Andrew: because that was the whole point of their deal, Kevin has found his spine, Andrew bought him the space and time to do it.
To Neil, he promises safety from the people hunting him down, and that means: I will give you something to build a life around (keys, drives to nightly exy practices, someone to lean on, someone who will listen without flinching). When you feel like running, I will be someone you can call to come pick you up. When you forget, I will remind you who you are: Neil Abram Josten.
Andrew stands between Kevin and Riko and between Neil and his father not as an impenetrable wall but as an obstacle in their vision: not shield but focal point.
(Makes me think of that scene in The Haunting of Hill House, Hugh holding Steven's neck to keep him from looking at the ghosts, saying, Look at me, just look at me, keep your eyes on me. That's what Andrew’s constantly doing --even literally, when Kevin is spiralling after Wymack tells the team about the district change and Andrew makes him look away from his broken hand and up at him).
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Despite having more teammates, Neil still regularly plays full games bc he knows he can and likes to. Wymack let's him bc it's one of the only sure-fire ways to get that boy worn out enough to chill. His stamina is out of this world by the time he goes pro and his team doesn't know how to handle him bc pros have way bigger teams and there's no way a rookie is going to get that much play time (not to mention, you just don't do full games that's ridiculous)
But like
What are they supposed to DO with him
He runs circles around them at practice despite being there long before and after official times. He's been caught multiple times by himself late at night. And when he's not on the court, he's on the bench running his mouth.
His coach reaches out to the coach of another team, one he thinks might be able to give some advice. But Kevin's coach just says "oh god i was going to call and ask YOU wtf to do he's going to decimate my team"
They conference in a third coach who is not much help bc the only thing David Wymack says after laughing himself breathless is "good fucking luck" and he hangs up
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a backliner from another team taunts kevin by calling him “pretty boy” and it immediately becomes A Thing amongst the foxes.
when nicky or allison see him around campus, they’ll whistle and cat call him.
lots of “hey, pretty boy!” “how’s it going, pretty boy?”
and kevin HATES IT. it simultaneously offends him to be called that and also flatters him. like how dare you call me pretty boy…but also, pretty boy? me?
and of course it has to escalate because it’s the foxes.
nicky and allison start to run out of steam a bit and decide to try to come up with similar nicknames for the other foxes. neil, of course, falls victim pretty fast.
the foxes are hanging out on a movie night, neil is curled up beside andrew and on the cusp of falling asleep right there, and allison gets an idea.
“since neil is the youngest, he’s the baby of our group. he’s gonna be baby boy.”
and neil is like :O what ??? And the other foxes talk over everyone and drown out his complaints.
aaron: “allison, that’s disgusting, what the fuck”
nicky, dan, and matt: “allison!! thats perfect! he is our baby boy!”
renee: “aw, that’s so cute!”
andrew: *silent but intensely staring at neil’s flustered state*
kevin: *silent and completely judging everyone in the room*
and it just sticks, ofc. it’s frequently shortened to just “baby” by allison, nicky, and (sometimes) dan.
kevin, aaron, and andrew never call him it
surprisingly, the next victim ends up being andrew.
once neil is unbothered by the nickname, they have to come up with a new one to start over. it begins during practice, and it’s surprisingly not allison or nicky that starts it
andrew is in goal but he’s completely zoned out. which isn’t unusual, but instead of just ignoring everything, he is staring at neil. his eyes are tracking neil as he is zooming around the court without leaving him once. most of the team starts to notice and are silently laughing at it because, yeah, andrew, we totally believe you that you and neil aren’t dating sure.
wymack notices his distraction but is content to ignore it for a while. eventually, after a few too many shots just sail right past his head, he bangs on the door to alert the team he’s opening the court doors.
“hey, lover boy, we’re kind of having a scrimmage here. stare at josten on your own time.”
“mind your pay grade, coach.”
and andrew doesn’t even look bothered. he just slowly rakes his eyes over neil again before turning away. the entire team is failing to contain their laughter. even aaron is having to cover his laugh up with coughs to try to keep up his front of hating their relationship
to his credit, neil only blushes a little bit
so that’s how our bastard trio end up being pretty boy, baby boy, and lover boy :)
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"This was his natural color, and those were his real eyes, and this was his father's face."
- Neil Josten by Koldan Grey.
Posted with the artist's permission. Credits to @/koldangrey_art on instagram and twitter!
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I wish Nora could see this…please
There are so many book references, watch closely!🩵
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“You were supposed to be a side-effect of the drugs” is possibly one of the most heart-wrenching lines of the series. It’s Andrew fighting with every cell in his body not to give into his desire for Neil. It’s Andrew begging himself not to do this, not to get hurt. It’s Andrew trying, pleading to the drugs that no longer cloud his vision to make Neil a part of them, because there was no way he could be real.
Neil, who took Andrew’s words at face value but saw the truth buried inside them. Neil, who knew what Andrew’s promises meant to him, and who kept his promise, for the first time. Neil, who saw more than he should. Neil, who never took more than Andrew gave and knew that no meant no. Neil who fought tooth and nail against Andrew’s defences to gain an inch then worship it like it was sacred ground.
Neil who could not, should not, must not, be real. It could only have been a side effect of the drugs.
No wonder Andrew fell in love.
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I love that scene in tkm where Wymack tells Neil he's going to make him vice captain the next year and Neil tries to politely decline (on the grounds that he'll be dead by then) and Wymack is literally like too bad bitch. This isn't a democracy and i say you're the next captain so figure it out
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Andreil protecting each other with the power of "you'll what":
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