whatever

You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

i need everyone to know 1. i have a boyfriend now and 2. he puts sparkles in my pancake syrup to celebrate the trifecta of kenzie happiness of taylor swift release weekend/record store day/420

he also put the godzilla 1998 soundtrack on in his car when his phone died and we couldn’t listen to the 1975 anymore so at the risk of retaining my clown car ownership title i have to say i think this is the loml

you can think someone's an idiot and not hate them. anyone who doesn't understand this has never had a coworker

You couldn’t watersport that out of me

here's the thing. I don't think that men and women can't be friends. I do think, however, that some men can't be friends with women. bc they are misogynists and don't see women as people. so if you as a man say men and women can't be friends I think you're telling on yourself

Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes

she knows she’s not allowed to bark at the cat, so her loophole is just to make a bunch of noises that are not barking instead.

we used to get prescribed a summer on the seaside. now we just get told to go touch grass. the economy is in shambles

I JUST GOT PEGGED IN A BENTLEYYYYYYY

dev patel did a line of coke and called up all his trans friends to make one of the coolest movies of the year. give him any role he fucking wants for the rest of his life

my favs pics of 'the eras tour' ♡

oh fuck this is a really good hill i gotta die on this

Tumblr, 1 April 2024

ya’ll this man had me in the passenger of his toyota scared shitless bc FIRST OF ALL i mentioned a restaurant in CDA i wanted to try that exclusively makes gourmet grilled cheese so he drove us the forty minutes out there to idaho and on the way he had his music playing and it was like!?!? a katy perry deep cut followed by a song from the pussycat dolls followed by steely dan!!!! yes yes we love a man of Taste!!!

and we were in the car and he out of nowhere asked me “so what’s our plan for record store day since the tortured poets department comes out the day before? do you think we have to get there extra early?”

USING THE FULL GOVERNMENT NAME OF THE NEW TAYLOR ALBUM IS CRAZYYYYYY

i’m just like??? yeerrr joking. you gotta be shitting my dick. the fact he showed up to our first date with a hellfire club shirt and pizza printed vans…and asked me things about eras tour and then walked me across the street to the used bookstore and complimented my choice of anäis nin’s diary vol 3!!! it’s insane to me that this man is not just real but genuinely shows interest and care about me and the things i love….i don’t deserve it in the slightest but thanks!!!