I'm not going to let this one go quietly. I could just try to heal from the things that have happened when I was with my ex, not be petty or seek revenge. I'm not but what I am going to do is at least let everyone know what he did and how he has to be held accountable because the last 4 months was a fucking hell I was living in. What I won't get into is the emotional manipulation and physical abuse. It's too much for me to relive.
I need answers, I feel like a huge part of why j feel this way is because why, there's no way someone can be that fucked up where they would shit like leaving their girl bleeding out in a hospital, because she just had a miscarriage, and the boyfriend is out tryna be with his coworker. Like wtf
I just don't see any other way out of this hell I'm in. I'm in constant pain, depression getting worse, my mind is almost gone, I can't get better from this....I really lost everything. Everything.
I feel so empty. Still hardly eating. So hard to sleep. I try not to think about it but images and thoughts still run thru my head. I can't help but burst into tears. I've never felt a pain like this before. Why can't I be mean to people who have done me wrong!!? Omg I can't take this
I never should have given you my number when you asked for it that day at the gas station, you were working and I came in for some cigarettes, you never would let me pay for them, i only came at night to get my cigarettes or gas cause I knew you work nights. Hi's turned in small chit chat, that turn into 5 minute convos to dang I been here an hour already
I never should have replied so quick to your texts but I couldn't help it, you genuinely made me feel happy the kind of happiness that hadn't been felt in years
I never should have said yes when you texted me asking if I would ever be with someone who pumps their gas but I hadn't been that excited in years and then I met you. I didn't care what your job occupation was or how much you were making. I just wanted you
I never should have invited you over to my place that very rainy night on Indian summer but seeing you sleep peacefully while hearing the rain come down outside from us will forever be a feeling I will always remember
I never should have said I love you too when you said I love you that one night in my bedroom but truth is I was so in awe of you
I never should have let my guard down with you and show you all the ways how the past has hurt me, my deepest fears and secrets but the way I felt when you held me close into you was the safest I've ever felt in my entire life
I never should have let you get comfortable around me but everything about you felt so much like home and I wanted you to stay
I never should have loved you so deeply and in the ways that I did but you were the flame I had been longing for and I needed your warmth and your touch