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loftwing lullaby
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For I am broken
Smiling so no one
Can sense the
Regret
I’m unhappy
I feel trapped
Being pulled
But not taken
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You will never know the deepest parts of me I indulge in desire And resist it at the same time It’s the lure that gets me caught in the current I love to hold my breath under water Pain that pleasures me And have to say goodbye to Because the deepest parts of me Only God knows He knows I tend to ride the fence I use the lure to create me. I still need both Understanding my power You know what I can do with that balance of Yin and yang I honestly don’t give a fuck It’s me… at least for now It’s what I got to do or I will sink I need to stay afloat The waves carry my body I eventually want to replace that coping mechanism I believe in maturing Unlocking another cheat code You gotta have a degree of dog in you to reach the top No scratch that I got dog in me I use her to hound the loot
Certainly! Here's an edited version:
"You'll never fully know the depths of me—I indulge in desire and resist it simultaneously. It's the lure that traps me in the current, lovingly suffocating beneath the surface. Pain that brings a twisted pleasure, but one I must bid farewell to. Only God knows the deepest parts of me.
I ride the fence, using the lure to shape myself. I still need both, understanding my power. You know what I can achieve with that balance of Yin and Yang. Frankly, I don't care. This is me, at least for now. It's what I must do to stay afloat.
The waves carry my body. Eventually, I aim to replace this coping mechanism, believing in growth, unlocking another cheat code. You need a bit of a fighter's spirit to rise to the top. Scratch that—I've got that spirit. I use it to pursue my goals relentlessly."
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We only talk when we can talk about forward thinking shit. Sometimes you can get caught in the current because stimulating conversations are a turn on.
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I wonder if the devil is in here because our union is not sealed thru God. At least it makes your chains a little harder to break.
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Just because I’m chaotic , doesn’t mean my physical world has to be.
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How can I translate these aspirations into reality within the spaces I inhabit? I aim to treat each environment like an empty canvas, where I can craft artistry that invites people to create lasting memories within the community spaces we foster.
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For a while, I felt a sense of pride in our connection. It wasn't a marriage per se, but I had committed myself to him wholeheartedly. In a way, I felt as though I was naturally bound to him, as if we were married by instinct. I was deeply in love and felt the safest I had ever felt in my life at that time.
Before experiencing these emotions, I first met him in college. He was literally the first person I encountered, aside from the other students during placement exams and orientation. That initial interaction marked the beginning of our journey together.
As I entered the library, my main objective was to find a way to print out my boarding pass. I had plans to fly back home to Las Vegas for two weeks after orientation, before the school officially started. I remembered my Aunt, who lived here, expressing concerns that I might not return if I left. At that time, I had a strong dislike for Vegas and had left just a week after my graduation. Although I landed in Texas, in hindsight, I probably should have gone further away.
I made my way to one of the computers on the first floor, assuming I could easily log in. However, I quickly realized I didn't have the necessary credentials.
"Damn it!" I muttered under my breath. The library was deserted this time of year, and I couldn't see anyone around to ask for help. Eventually, I approached the librarian. (who is a student that attends the university)
"Hello, I'm new here. Can I ask a huge favor and use your login information to print out my boarding pass?" I requested, hoping for a positive response.
"Uh, yeah, but I'll come and log you in myself. I don't know you, girl. You might try to steal my information," he replied, half-jokingly but with a hint of seriousness.
I chuckled nervously. "No, seriously, I just need to get on the internet real quick."
We walked back to the computer I had been sitting at, and he noticed my suitcase.
"Oh, you're flying out. Where are you headed?" he inquired.
"I'm going to Las Vegas. I have some family and friends I'd like to see before school starts," I explained.
I'm not sure why I felt comfortable telling him where I was staying, which happened to be this old, run-down hotel near campus, probably a 20-minute walk away. Maybe he sensed my situation, and I think he felt a bit sorry for me, especially when he realized I probably didn't have anything to eat. But I didn't want his sympathy; instead, I wanted him to be impressed by my independence and bravery as I navigated this process somewhat alone. I pride myself on being humble and brave, so why did I suddenly feel the need to make a good impression? After all, he was just a stranger.
He suggested we grab some Popeyes, and as we talked, I found myself being quite candid. I hadn't really spoken to anyone over the summer, so it felt good to open up and share a bit of myself.
He dropped me off at my hotel, and I could sense that he would have preferred me to stay with him. However, he didn't want to overstep, and I probably would have accepted his offer, but I think I was afraid of showing him that I was that trusting, especially since he was a total stranger.
"He won me over by his chivalrous actions, ensuring that I ate before heading back to my hotel room."
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Swaying with the wind
In her drop top,
Riding shot gun
down the Oregon Coast
the sunset catches her
Hot rock lit on fire the sky light auburn’s into purple, magenta, pink and orange.
Gazing at this moment into the horizon
Her focused glare, releasing the energy that she holds inside her
farthest point her eyes set on pouring into the void.
The end of the sea will take it away as it gets caught into the current.
It’s leaving her body
Least that’s what she wants to believe
Sad girl, you can’t cry ,
it still feels too good,
Pain but pleasing too
Pleasure is the seed of course
She can’t have the pleasure
It’s why she’s is in pain.
…..to be continued
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I don’t know how I will move on this time
It’s harder this time
What happen this time
Got caught too early this time
Now won’t be a next time
Now he’s gone for good this time
I miss him more this time
Why do we keep connecting time after time
And leaving sad all the time
Woke up this time
He’s gone this time
I fell in love within seconds this time
how do I move on this time
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9:50 pm, almost 10
Perfect timing I’m in my head
No one to disrupt
I finally get to let her play
She’s been waiting all day
sorry other one
I been keeping you hostage
It’s actually been ages
You ready for the sneak
Pleading
“oh please can I just take a quick peak?”
She likes the freak
Has a few kinks
Make ya weak
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I get it I can take accountability, that dude had me in a chokehold
It would of took a slick talkin negro to pull me to my senses
On the contrary, I care for his life
Crazy part is my ego
Gets obsessed with trying to
Show them I am the one
Trust you’ll see
It’ll be too late
Goofy nigga
Could of had the
Year of his LIFE
I’m a cold piece
I am highly favored
And he was my favorite
Now I’m sittin there
Dumb for the dick
He had seen a way to make me think
I loved him
He just used the jerk approach trick
Before all the hypnosis I was in
I should of known it wasn’t going to work with him
I cheated on him a week later when he went out of town for the summer
Realized before that the nigga was kinda boring
So a nicer guy asked to take me out
Shit my whole boyfriend
Still never said, “lets go to the movies”
Goofy nigga
Let another nigga
Take his girl on her first date
That year I could of met you half way
Now I’m looking dumb as fuck
scared and I don’t know why
You would have shown me
the right way…
You would have given me
a year to remember
So I take accountability…
To be continued
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