exispencer-crisis - Tumblr blog

exispencer-crisis · 12 hours

Text

I had a friend who was a tooth dragon once. His name was Ricky.

55K notes · View notes

exispencer-crisis · 14 hours

Text

DOOF! WHERE'D YOU PUT THE BOOBINATOR?

225K notes · View notes

exispencer-crisis · 14 hours

Text

I may not be cool, but I feel more like myself online, so uh . . . better.

No see results option, I'm forcing you to perceive yourself. rb for more results plus

22K notes · View notes

exispencer-crisis · 14 hours

Text

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

30K notes · View notes

exispencer-crisis · 14 hours

Text

I love BDSM.