Considerate vs Fake Friends

The difference between real friends and fake friends

Friends come and go, for most that is hard to accept. The reasoning is simple, so new friends can enter your life who have a purpose in the current chapter of your life. Some might think that all their current friends are their friends for life, turns out that is wrong, you will have many friends that come and go. If you are lucky, you have your best friend that you've known and continued to hang out with since kindergarten. During the many stages of life, you meet great people that influence you to be better, and some people that you think are great but in reality, are a bad influence on you. When you are little about 4 to 11 years old, you think everyone is your friend and you get along with everyone which is great. When middle school starts that is when situations start to change, friends drift apart and you find new friends and start to notice who your real friends are. The transition between friendships goes on throughout life and a majority of friendships end after highschool because after all, some friendships are formed entirely because of school. Friends are hard to let go of depending on the situation and that is completely understandable. (Fair warning I’m going to start ranting!!)

Considerate Friends

I referenced knowing your best friend since kindergarten. I’ve known my best friend for about 14 years, I don’t remember exactly when we met but our mothers have told us the story of how we met in a dance class at about 4 years old. To be truthful, both my best friend and I can both say that we will don’t remember much of the dance class, just being in the same first-grade class a couple of years later. We were also in the same third-grade class and then after that was history pretty much. All the memories we've made together, during our school days as well as the time since being graduated from highschool. My favorite memories start when we met in first grade, between first grade and sixth grade I was a cheerleader and my best friend joined me in cheer around 4th grade. We never made varsity but we sure made many memories. I enjoyed the routines we had but I don’t remember them too well anymore. It’s an underestimation how much we love sushi and coffee, not at the same time but still. We would get endless amounts of sushi before binge-watching shows on Netflix and hours of Youtube videos about abandoned places. We’ve gone to many festivals together and even went on a few day trips together such as Six Flags and her first time going to Olive Garden. Also, we went to Woodfield Mall a couple of times and we need to go again soon. We’ve started a podcast together as well, involving: trending internet topics, history, and music.

I met another best friend of mine in 5th grade, we met in Girl Scouts and she was a year behind me in school, she was extremely shy when we first met but after 7 and a half years, that has all changed. We’ve been through so much in 7 years and always found our way back to each other. My favorite memories start when we were little, I still have a majority of our old pictures together. One memory that sticks out from the rest besides meeting, would be playing Minecraft on our phones and building forts together; in fact, we still to this day make forts because we enjoy it. I do wish that we had our old Minecraft worlds stored somewhere, hopefully, her old iPad still has them. I asked her about her favorite memory of us together, she told me it was when we first met, and when I showed her Minecraft for the first time. This is a bit embarrassing to admit but I had an obsession with Minecraft sheep, it was more of an inside joke with her than anything. I’m over the obsession part but still to this day it’s an inside joke and we still joke about it, even now she asks if I’ve found a black-colored sheep. We’ve gone to a few festivals together in town but not too many. We haven’t hung out much recently because of life but I still speak with her often. She’s never switched up on me but we’ve had times where we talk to each other less, it’s never intentional but it just happens. I included below in fake friends about one of her toxic friends she had.

I met another friend in 5th grade as well although we didn’t become close until around 6th grade I believe. I started to often spend time with her in 7th grade, we didn’t see each other much because of distance between houses and usually she was busy which I understood. We talked often in between visits and at school when we could. My favorite memory with her is probably going to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens on New Years Day and also the Fall Festival here in town. We haven’t gone to many places together recently but we did hang out at my house.

Fake Friends

These friends I speak of above. They mean so much to me I could go on forever about each one but like everyone else I’ve had fake friends too. Two in particular have stood out in my past. I met both of them when I was young. Around 10 years old I met them both but at different times. Both of them were good friends until then end when they decided to show their true colors.

The first one in particular I could tell you everything she accused me of but when she asked if she needed to keep going with reasons we aren’t friends anymore, I let it go and didn't text her anymore. I didn’t care. Most of what she accused me of i don’t remember it being how she put it. I have a different phone now from when I last messaged her but I’ll include a couple of the major ones.

She said I forced her to buy me a birthday gift when she “had no money”. What really happened is, I said “It would be nice if you did but you don't have to since I understand you are low on funds”

I had plans one day and the same day, she asked to hang out so immediately I informed her I had errands to do and mom and I might go to lunch as well, she didn’t seem bothered by it. Later she tells me I “forced” her to pay with money she didn't have.

The second one is a bit different than the previous friend but still, I am sure there are some similarities. Also like the previous friend she was a good friend until the end when she showed her true colors. What stands out to me about her is that she was so shy and kept to herself quite often. Years later when we met up again, (because of schedules and excuses) I at first was so happy I got to finally spend time with her in person after so long, but years later things had obviously changed. She still was nice but I could tell she acted differently from the last time I saw her, she had changed so much which I was proud of until I realized she started to not take my advice, didn’t listen to me and ignored my ideas. First couple days she stayed with me it was nice and we painted our nails and watched movies. The leftover days she stayed, she slept, I didn’t think much of it until the next time she came over, same thing happened. She was thankful she got to spend time with me but when my mom and I dropped her off she showed absolutely no emotion and didn’t text me again saying she had a good time, she went on to ignore me for the next 3 days or so. I pondered over the long conversations we had with my mother about her past and within that time the friend seemed to listen but who knows if she truly took my mother’s advice. I’ll never know. As I type this she’s taken care of a few important things but it will take a while for her to earn my trust back, maybe not even at all. She supposedly thinks the world of me but yet she’s lied and left out so much about her life that I didn’t know what to believe anymore.

The important point about fake/toxic friends is most of the time you can spot it from a mile away but not so much when they have such seemingly good intentions at first, it’s sometimes hard to decipher whether or not they are truly a toxic friend.

I’d like to include another story that is not mine but I got permission to write it here. My friend who I met in 5th grade during Girl Scouts whom is on the considerate side, had a toxic friend and she said I could include her story too. My friend had switched schools because of her situation which I had no problem with, she made a few friends and I was super happy for her! Although this one friend of hers in particular she did EVERYTHING with, which is true, I’m not jealous or anything she would agree that they did a lot together. Anyway, she came to me and said: “She’s insulting me”, so I stepped in and asked why the friend did such a thing. She was more specific and said the friend insulted things she did such as hang out with friends other than her. My friend had said also that it was like her friend was trying to take her away from her family, because she spent so much time with her friends family versus her own. She was selfish in such a way that she would sabotage the relationships my friend had with her other friends and family. Additionally, the friend influenced my friend in many unnecessary situations, such as smearing tuna in someone's car.

I 100% realize I turned an informative article into a rant, but for me I’d rather describe what I experience so people understand the difference between considerate versus fake friends.

“I am not what happened to me. I am who I choose to become.”

—

Slept in the hills last night and got a bit chilly

“You’ll stay with me? Until the very end.”

— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (via amargedom)

“Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t carry your past with you.”

— Unknown

Sagittarius Full Moon ~ June 17 2019 ♐️🌕

This Sagittarius full moon comes with the reminder that there’s so much more out there than the little “world” we live in. Don’t be afraid to take that leap into the unknown to broaden your horizons and understanding. As this moon will also be conjunct Jupiter (it’s ruler!), you can expect optimism, intuition, your sense of adventure, and need for purpose to all be heightened. As full moons typically bring our feelings and emotions to the forefront, the Sagittarian energy may also have you talking about them and letting others know where you stand! This can be a double-edged sword, so try to remember to find a balance between expressing yourself and saying what you shouldn’t. Above all, use this time to connect with your intuition, keep an open mind, and remember the bigger picture ✨ xx

“How do you ever know for certain that you are doing the right thing?”

— Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See (via books-n-quotes)

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Feel free to stop here and rest before journeying to the posts below.

When God sets you free: Do not look back. Do not check back. Do not go back. Do not doubt or question your freedom in the first place. You are free. You have been freely given victory. You are not missing out on anything. Your portion is not back there. 

So, walk forward.

Maps

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“god. keep me stable, keep my mind clean. recalibrate my spirit. be more graceful when i’m emotional. don’t ever leave when i stray, teach me @overlyxclusive”

—

ben: klaus… i know you snuck out last night

klaus, internally: act dumb

klaus: who’s klaus??

klaus, internally: not that dumb

*tries desperately not to promise i’ll always be around for people bc i have no idea what will happen but also desperately wants to always be around for people*