“My 20s have been the loneliest era in my life. I am surrounded by people but not connecting with anyone. Everyone is living their own lives while I am still waiting for mine to start. I feel lost between what I should be feeling and how I actually feel.”

—

*dissociates* im coping

great to be in the habit of using they/them for people you don't know who haven't told you their pronouns. extremely funny execution of that when friends they/them my dad

I just want to ask for a second opinion. The other day I saw an exchange in a discord group I'm in that threw me off, it was about someone asking if they could use other pronouns for someone with the neo-pronouns "kitten/kittenself" because they said it sounded too weird and sexual to call someone who's not your partner kitten. They started getting a bunch of hate for it from other people in the group saying they were nb phobic. I'm nonbinary myself and I do use neo pronouns, but I completely agree with this person, I would never call someone kitten (I've also seen a lot of people with the pronouns pup or puppy, which I also think it's super weird). Am I actually the bad guy in this situation?? If so, why?

Hello, dear. Okay so I’ve been thinking about this for AGES, and I want to state now a reminder that I am in no way the authority on identity or neo-pronouns, this is just what I’ve been thinking. I also am not interested in this becoming discourse, anon and I are having an informed discussion on a topic we are learning about. Now, to the thoughts.

So I think that what’s important to know here is the social implication of words. Pronouns like he/she/they/xe have little preconceived social connection beyond their existence as pronouns, because that all they are and have been. We don’t connect them to anything else directly, in example in English (USA) she isn’t a synonym for bird or anything else that I know of. So when we hear she, most of us don’t automatically think of birds.

Neo-pronouns lean into the use of words that have another meaning. Leaf/leafself connects a person to a plant like aspect in their and other minds. That’s part of what’s neat about them! You can choose a sort of energy to convey in who you are and what you’re called. That’s all wonderful, but then we do also have to think about the social implications of certain words. Because calling someone pup/kitten/baby/darling etc. has socially charged meaning.

If the persons refusal to use the neo-pronouns was based on a general hatred or ignorance of them, that would be wrong. But I don’t personally think they are wrong for not wanting to call the person kitten, as culturally for many people calling a person that has romantic or sexual connotations. Calling their neo-pronouns weird wasn’t the way to go though, that’s not necessary.

The person can use those neo-pronouns, that’s up to them and they should do what makes them happy and comfortable. But not everyone will want to call them those things. I wouldn’t want to call someone kitten/kittenself because I have seen it directly related to sexual content and pet names for sexual partners more than anything else. If they have other neo-pronouns I would be happy to use those, and that’s what makes the distinction between enby-phobia and personal and social discomfort.

I am slightly concerned by any group that refuses a meaningful and kind discussion of such topics like this, as this seems like something with a unique perspective from each person. Neo-pronouns are a really interesting things, and we’re still figuring out how they work with societal connotations.

That’s my two cents. I hope this makes sense! Again just my thoughts as of now, I’m still learning.

-Evan

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

Almost there, almost there, almost there…

downton abbey but everything’s the same except thomas barrow wears these

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Pride month series 1/?

Mu And CoCo on Instagram / Etsy

Wake up guys, new frog dro – 

The Mindoro frogs live in streams and sport hidden fangs inside their mouths. Herr said the fangs are likely used for combat over mating sites and to fight off predators.

WAKE UP GUYS, NEW VAMPIRE FROG DROPPED

the only thing “dark” about “academia” are the thoughts i have when i see my assignments piling up

Look me straight in the eyes and tell me your current music taste isn’t what your father played in the car when you were a kid.

On being cis & using they (spoiler: it’s totally okay)

Heya folks: if an identity like ‘transgender’ or ‘non-binary’ doesn’t feel quite right for you but you do want to use she/they, he/they or they/them pronouns: do it.

There should not be a ‘trans enough’ standard that you need to meet to change your pronouns. Even if your amount of trans is ‘none’. That’s fine.

You are not appropriating something that is reserved for trans people only. There is no limited pronoun-supply. You are not minimizing or invalidating trans experiences. You are simply lowering the bar for using non-binary pronouns in public and that benefits everyone.

So go for it. Put that shit in your bio if you want to. You have my trans-as-fuck blessing. 

-

(And do NOT respond to this post with ‘but those people are actually not cis, they just don’t know it yet’. Fuck off. You are missing the point by a huge huge amount.)

💞💞💞               HAPPY LESBIAN VISIBILITY DAY                 💞💞💞

from a fellow neurodiverse & nonbinary & prospective convert lesbian:

happy lesbian lovers day! 💖

[ ID: The “I wish all…” Bugs Bunny meme reading: I wish all black lesbians, trans lesbians, asian lesbians, nonbinary lesbians, jewish lesbians, he/him lesbians, muslim lesbians, fat lesbians, neurodiverse lesbians, and disabled lesbians a very pleasant and safe lesbian visibility day. ]