erin-the-enhanced - Tumblr blog

erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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No matter how you feel about the joker movie as a movie, you still have to admit that the way it chaotically threw off disney’s plans for endgame this year is so fucking funny? Like? The mouse schemed to end their last avengers movie on a cliffhanger so that endgame could make bank. They poured $365 million into the budget, and an additional $200 million+ into marketing to secure its spot as the most talked about comic book film of the year. And the way they peddled that film to get maximum discourse was astounding? The gay joe russo character, everyone speculating over who was going to die, the “best picture” and “oscar nom for Robert Downey Jr” campaigns. The way a board room of writers fumed in a room for a year deciding strategically what the least offensive story was for maximum appeal, and it was pg so that every living human being on earth could go see it. they released endgame in the theatres TWICE.

And then just.

this fuckign clown mcgee movie that NO ONE asked for or even wanted comes along - and from the director of the hangover movies too???? and everyone’s in a panic that this film is going to make people do crime?? like, everyone’s either talking about how great it is, or it’s trash - but even if you hated it, you’re still talking about it? And it was rated r, so it cut the audience who could go see the movie in half, and yet because it cost around $60 million to make and earned $1 billion+ at the box office, it still technically became the most profitable comic book movie to date lmao?? It’s not even connected to a batman movie and it somehow got that record. And now the oscar noms are out, and joker has 11 oscar noms meanwhile endgame got 1 nom for visual effects… lmao this movie really is the real life version of how it feels to get pranked by the joker’s trick

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erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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Tony: You know what some people are so desperate to catch their lover's attention-

Thor: -that their entire life seems like a series of mishap about to destroy a planet or two?

Loki and Peter:

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erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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On the Battlefield:

Villian: *says some offensive shit*

Peter p: What you just said is not a mood

Peter p: Do you see this? My wig didn't flew

Peter p: You failed the Vibe check, beCKY, so now you I must to the oof and YEET this car at you

Villian, shaking: W-what does that even mean

Tony, a tired parent: I gave up trying to understand

Peter: BE GONE THOT

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erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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if they made bucky an anti hero (which is just a regular hero but for people who aren’t pussy) especially when the enemy is hydra and sam was the ‘likes to claim plausible deniability at buckys actions but always brings him along anyway bc doing what’s right trumps whatever wild shit buckys about to do’?…ugh that would be so sexie ☺️

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erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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*Walks in casually* “What did you do?” “Why do you assume I did something?” *screaming in the distance*

tropes i will never get tired of

fake dating

omniscient narrator who immediately contradicts the characters (“This is fine,” she said. It was, in no way, shape, or form, fine.)

deadpan jokes while swordfighting

the “I FUCKING LOVE MY WIFE” guy

oblivious pining that slowly escalates until A is going on page rants about how pretty B’s eyes are but still doesn’t seem to recognize they’re in love

Strong Leader Type having to physically fall down in order for the other characters to see how exhausted they are

funny villains who talk and make jokes with their heroes while they’re fighting them

the villains presented as the protagonists

*increasingly pulls out bigger and bigger weapons from more unlikely places*

“I said all of your weapons” *pulls out more*

“ALL OF THEM” *pulls out one last tiny dagger*

traumatized character using humor to cover up ptsd

characters going out for a break at a restaurant/movie/whatever and something bad happening

using the “*gasp* what’s that over there???” trick to avert the enemy’s attention and it working

a villain’s weakness being something totally random and nonsensical

a hero duo arguing over who’s the sidekick while fighting a villain

“don’t be silly, we don’t need [important thing]” “you lost it, didn’t you?” “yeah”

“what’s the one thing I told you not to do tonight?” “raise the dead” “and what did you do?” “raised the dead”

“I think that went pretty well” *explosion in the distance*

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erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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I get excited about stars because where I live there’s so much air pollution that you can’t fuckin see any

i love people who get excited about stars

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erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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T I T S

Brie Larson guest-hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12/18/2019.

#ohohohohohoho im big fuckin gay

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erin-the-enhanced · 4 years

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mr delmar from delmar’s sandwich place in queens figures out that peter is spiderman bc the masked vigilante himself bounds in one day, orders a sandwich, and then asks him to “squish it down real flat” and who the hell else says that aside from peter goddamn parker

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erin-the-enhanced · 5 years

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anybody else here not good at anything

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erin-the-enhanced · 5 years

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Tony, lovingly cradling their newborn child: I think we all know what we're gonna call you, sweetheart

Pepper: aww, Tony, Morgan's a lovely na-

Tony: Living Proof That Tony Stark Had Sex With Pepper Potts

Pepper:

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erin-the-enhanced · 5 years

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when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years

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erin-the-enhanced · 5 years

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HI U SEEM COOL AND NICE AND I REALLY LOVE YOUR BLOG DOYOUWANNABEFRIENDS?ITSOKIFUDON'TOKBYE

Thanks bb!!!!! I love your support!!!!!!!

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erin-the-enhanced · 5 years

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spiderman: into the spiderverse has an post credits scene fools.

#IM SHOUTING

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erin-the-enhanced · 5 years

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I always forget that the MCU and the Netflix Marvel shows exist in the same universe but like…do the Defenders know about Spider-man??? Like has Jessica ever looked at a TV segment talking about Spidey and been like “oh god not another asshole in a red suit”?? Have Matt and Foggy ever been at the police station while the cops were bringing in some asshole completely covered in spider webs?? Has Luke ever just been kicking ass on the streets only to have this CHILD swing in out of nowhere to steal his thunder?? Peter’s just OUT THERE, running around NYC, helping little old ladies cross the street in front of God and everyone, like you can’t convince me the Defenders DON’T know about him and maybe fear for his safety a little because oh god that’s a child

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erin-the-enhanced · 5 years

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Just so you know there was a scene during my test screening of into the spiderverse where Peter Porker says fuck and I just went and watched the final film tonight and they cut it out. It appeared in a speech bubble with a bunch of symbols like “f$&@!”. He also had a horrifying line about one of his family members dying and it smelling like singed bacon that legit got gasps during the test screening but they cut that as well. I just want you to know they made John Mulaney say so much weird shit that did not make it into the final cut of the film and y’all better pray they put it in the extended features because I was DEVASTATED at some of the jokes they removed.

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erin-the-enhanced · 5 years

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Steve on Asgardian liquor is a woo girl and no one can tell me otherwise ever

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