So it's two months later (life happens) and I've finally done a rewatch of this! And read your recap, which is on-point as usual 😚👌 but also a lot more er.. digressive than usual lol. Dude you need to work out those aggressions headcanons out into fic lol. Just after comments now but since the ep was a two-parter guess I'll have a lot more to say after 2x12

Damn I forgot how incredibly stressful this ep was -- a statement I make about every other TCL ep, but it doesn't make it less true. TCL really is hellbent on spiking my resting heart rate lmao

Ooooh Nadia's aqua (teal?) jumpsuit, I want that. The short sleeves are a weird length -- sleeveless or straps would have been better to show off her toned arms -- but long sleeves would work as well

Hahah Big and Bald Shadow has a name! = Juergen. But tbh he doesn't look like a Juergen lol

Your analysis of the medical parts I'M SCREAMING. As a civilian, watching medical stuff on tv only ever meant taking the cue from Furrowed Brows and Important Terminology and Doctors sounding Grave and Serious, so to look under the hood and read your deconstruction of all that -- like your recap in 2x10 -- was just plain hysterical. Seriously, show, pls hire Laura I beg you

Lmao at the show's blatant refusal to acknowledge Dr Saroyan. I mean yeah they couldn't use him cos that wouldn't have led to All The Drama, but I also figure Dr S was more a relic of the Hayak era. He may have had a soft spot for Thony once, but without Hayak's deep pockets and protection -- and Arman’s lack of resources -- perhaps he wasn't obliged to help (or simply couldn't help) anymore

(But also yes to HOT DR FOGLE. I hope Nadia keeps him around next season)

There is a gifset to be made about the number of times Armony says "WE'RE DONE" when they absolutely aren't, no?

Especially when they are so attuned and keenly aware of each other about where they are and what they're doing in that container and escape scene, as you've highlighted. My favourite bit is her automatically ducking when he's yelling her to get down and he shoots the guy behind her, but also a blink-and-you-miss moment when they were getting away on his bike and she smoothly scoops her bag off the ground. In marathon training we call it proprioception but here it's just soulmate level sh*t and no, THEY WILL NEVER BE DONE 😵😵😵

Sigh I wish Garrett and Russo hadn't hooked up. I wish they'd almost given in but he pulls back and definitively says we can't. Knowing now what happens in 2x12, that pulling back would have added another level of poignancy at the end of it all. Oh well.

TCL 2x11 recap

Ok so in honour of the S3 renewal (!!!! shut up I’m not crying YOU’RE crying aaaaaaahhhh!!!) here are a few very very belated TCL thoughts… and of course, many many many more thoughts still to come for 2x12 lol 

So I am already immediately needing to know how much time has passed between last ep and this one lol. Maybe a few days? I mean Luca is looking so much better, and he’s so excited to see Fi and his cousins. (Lol at the fact Marco doesn't even get mentioned, even though he only died like 2 months ago. Like yaasss everybody, Marco who???). Also I really like the way Thony asks “JD let you come?”, bc it’s not judgmental or snarky, it’s more acknowledging the difficult position Fi is in and her gratitude that she came. Also oooh we are definitely back in Vegas for the filming now– this is filmed at Adventuredome in LV. But ugh Thony going from smiling at Luca’s excitement to spotting Joseph :( poor woman just can’t even get 5 minutes of simple happiness before something drags her back down again. (Also I assume she still has her big bald shadow following her around and so that’s how Joseph knew where to find her?) 

Oooh Nadia definitely still has her shadow. And damn she’s in the fanciest of prisons rn, stuck in RK’s penthouse. Since this phone conversation is apparently the first time she and Arman have talked since she poisoned RK, and Arman isn’t looking completely panicked about where she's been, then I’m guessing not too much time could have passed since then– maybe it really has only been a few days? Also I really wanna know how much Arman was able to find out about what happened to RK? Like did he finally hurry into Fast Lane after his little excursion with Garrett, frantically looking around  to see if Nadia might still be there, only to find all the staff gossiping about how the boss was taken to hospital and how Ms Morales went with him??? And then he tries to call her but can’t get through– so what did he do??  Did he text her and risk it being seen by RK, or did he just go home and sit there waiting by his phone? Also ugh I wish we got to see his reaction to her saying that Thony saved RK, bc yasss to that drama lol.  And ugh yes to Nadia referring to Thony as ‘your cleaning lady’ again.  Idc that Nadia means it in a negative way, it’s still implying a connection between Armony and that’s what I’m all about lol. Anyway I did like that Arman was immediately down to rescue Nadia though. Oh my sweet brave yet somewhat stupid boy lol. Also goddammit I really gotta learn spanish bc while I very much respect them not using subtitles a lot of the time, I still always wanna know everything that's being said lol

Haha RK is Big Mad about his heart attack. “I had a full physical just a few months ago, there was nothing that indicated any issue with my heart” ok well I mean a ‘physical’ is a pretty basic check, so unless the doctor randomly decided to arrange an angiogram (a surgical procedure which is not done on people who don’t have symptoms), then there’s no way they could have definitively known the heart was fine… so maybe calm down a bit there buddy? Also again, we saw last ep that you’re on blood thinners, so there is definitely something wrong somewhere.  But lol the hot doctor guy saying “high potassium can cause hyperkalaemia” is so funny because hyperkalaemia is literally just the technical term for high potassium. But props to him for telling RK it could have been caused by stress lol– you’re a brave and potentially foolish man, Doc. Also loooolllll RK pouting in the bed like a petulant child and Nadia basically telling him to grow up. Poor woman is already a prisoner and now she has to deal with this giant baby too?? Now this is real torture

Oh the penthouse is at Caesar’s Palace?? Daaaamn, that’s gotta be pricey. (Also sigh,  looks like I’m gonna need to make another trip to Vegas this year to see these new locations haha). But oooohh at the meaningful eye contact between Nadia and Thony as Nadia hands her the medical file. Also he asks Thony her opinion within literally like 10 seconds of her opening the file– like give her a minute to actually read it before she gives her answer, maybe?? But oh man the tightrope she walks when she says that it could have been a drug interaction, but then follows it by saying there’s nothing in the report that indicates that that’s the case. And then ugh she immediately tries yet again to talk him into letting her and Arman handle the medication shipment. And when he tells her that the shipment has gone missing and his men are currently investigating to find out who is to blame? There’s no question for her that it was Arman, and ugh she’s trying so hard to keep her face neutral and not let the dread and anger and fear show. Because by stealing that shipment, Arman has put two of the people she loves most at risk: Luca, and himself. And even worse, she knows that in a way it’s her fault, because he did it for her. this is true love right here bitches

But ugh Nadia and Thony walking out together, and Thony’s grim expression, clearly hating that she had to tell the truth about the drug interaction because it was all a test– one that she needed to pass for the safety of her whole family– versus the fear in Nadia’s eyes and the cuttting edge to her voice as she tells Thony to tell Arman that she sold them both out?? And then the total tone change as she graciously thanks her for coming? Damn the relationship between these two is so engrossing, especially because as much as they are at odds, they do often have a lot of empathy towards one another and help each other out even when you might not expect them to. S3 please give me all the Thony and Nadia team ups please

Ooooh Garrett that was actually pretty smooth? Lucky no one was in the toilets though lol. Fair enough for him to be pretty pissed with her– she lied to him about Maya, and now she is being driven around by RK’s guys? It doesn’t look great. And aaaahh I have been waiting for this confrontation scene since the moment Maya died,  and tbh Oliver is doing a great job with expressing the hurt and anger and betrayal. And man the way Thony’s voice is so small as she tells him she’s sorry? And his “Or have you gotten so good at lying and covering up the truth that you don’t even recognise it?” like oooohhhh what a blow, and what an insightful statement. Honestly Thony needs someone to call her out like this, to make her see the path she is headed down and the ways that she has already changed. Not that I don’t want her to continue on this path haha, because getting to watch Mob Boss Thony is definitely the absolute dream (heck yeah bring on S3), but I want her to be a badass boss without losing her humanity. But tbh I love the fact that the moment she gets the call that Luca is at the hospital, it’s like the fight is immediately put on hold because it’s just understood that Luca comes before anything else.

Seriously though, Fi took him to a public hospital???? The woman who tried to stop Thony from doing the same thing in 1x02 because she was so scared she’d be deported??? Like if there was no other option, sure, but Fi literally has Dr Saroyan’s number (Thony gave it to her when she went to The Philippines) and she knows that Luca has been taken to Dr Saroyan’s clinic before? Why would she not try that first????????? Like ok tbh I would have been fine with it if there was even just a quick little throwaway line like “I tried calling Dr Saroyan but his receptionist said he’s away in Boston for a week” so it covered that plot hole. But whatevs, we need the drama I guess lol. But ugh honestly Jazz makes such a good suggestion about calling JD to take Luca inside instead– like even if he will take a little bit to get there, he could switch out with Fi so she’s not at any more risk than she needs to be? Ugh this is so dumb I don't need this stress in my life

“My nephew has a high fever and he started throwing up about an hour ago”  wait are you kidding me????  that’s all you’re going to say, Fi??? That makes it sound like simple gastroenteritis. You gotta lead with the fact that this is an immunocompromised child like 2 months post liver transplant?? Oh my god. Tbh I hate this scene for multiple reasons, partly because of the above, but also partly because of how uncomfortable it feels with the guards staring at her (though that's obviously the point), and also because it’s just a reminder of how terrible the US healthcare system is (which lbr is probably also the point). But ugh even this really lovely Filipina nurse is making me afraid that it’s all actually a trap and ICE is already on their way ughhhh I hate this

“I’m not hungry!” yep RK is definitely a child lol. But oh shit the backstory about his dad dying from a heart attack at 45 and then RK taking every possible precaution to avoid the same– like hell okay maybe he actually did get himself an angiogram and all the other fancy cardiac testing?? lol. In which case Nadia is really in trouble haha. When he had Joseph pour her the champagne (the same one she poisoned him with, naturally) I was so terrified for her ugh. Ngl I was unhappy about her throwing suspicion onto Thony about the shipment, but I mean it was pretty understandable— especially bc she felt that Thony had betrayed her first, and also tbh there was no other possible scapegoat for it except for herself or Arman. But ugh her shiny eyes as RK walks away, knowing that she is walking such a knife’s edge with him and that he might snap at any moment? Ugh my girl. Plus honestly I’d definitely like to think that she also felt at least a little bad about the fact that she may have just gotten Thony killed–  if circumstances were different, I honestly think these women could actually have been something almost like friends ugh

Ugh okay now Thony has arrived at the ER and finally someone is being made aware of Luca’s history and the urgency of the situation!!  Also damn she’s impressively persuasive given she manages to get that lady to call a code… this is making me want to fish out my old hospital ID to see whether we had a code white lol. It definitely didn't mean ‘medical emergency’ though, because naturally that one I did know, having responded to them often enough lol

Also lol I just noticed that there’s a pamphlet saying ‘stem cell therapy saves lives’ on it at the desk, and it has the initials/logo of the Institute of Stem Cell Medicine (the place where she took Luca in early S1) on it!! Like it’s probable that they were just recycling medical props from last season but I love this little easter egg omg

Ugghhhh I am still so uncomfortable about these guys being at this hospital at all. Like I get that it’s for plot reasons, creating the whole ‘what if we get noticed and deported’ tension, but it’s just so frustrating that everyone has forgotten about Dr Saroyan!! Like c'mon guys. Plus I just miss him lol, he was so softspoken and pretty. Though tbh this Dr Gonzalez is quite pretty too. In fact, pretty much every doctor that has appeared in this show has been rather attractive– seriously where were all these beautiful people during my training??? at acting school obviously lol

OOOH. Thony just said that Luca is 10 weeks post-transplant! Excellent, I’ve been meaning to put together a timeline of the TCL events, considering that the entire show literally happens over the course of like 4 months. So Luca was a week postop when he and Thony came back from Mexico (1x09) and then Marco kidnapped him like another week later (end of 1x10/start of 2x01), so looks like S2 has happened over the course of about 8 weeks. Which tbh actually seems a little long to be accurate, given that several of the eps happen literally the day after the previous ep’s events, but it could potentially work. Guess I’ll find out when I actually put the timeline together lol

Anyway is it weird that I felt proud when Dr Gonzalez said that (from the scans, I assume) Luca’s graft looks extremely clean and that a surgical complication definitely wasn’t the cause for his current condition? Like ugh damn straight my girl Thony did an incredible job on the surgery. And what a relief it must be for her to hear that she didn’t cause this, because you know that's been her greatest fear ever since she realised she was going to have to do the surgery in the first place

Stepping into the chapel to call her married(ish?) criminal boyfriend? I love it. Blaspheme away, girl, I support you wholeheartedly. I also love that she knows he was the one who took the shipment, knows he did this for her, to prove to her he meant it when he said he wouldn’t let his plan to kill Kamdar endanger Luca. But of course now that plan (along with Thony’s thwarting of it) has endangered all of them lol. Oops. Also dude I had been wondering why this ep hadn’t quite been doing it for me thus far (like of course I’m enjoying it, but just not as much as other eps) and I mean part of it is definitely the focus on Robert and also the borderline insanity of bringing Luca to this hospital, but mostly it’s because I’ve been like EXCUSE ME. WHERE IS MY BOY. WHERE IS MY PRECIOUS MURDER CUPCAKE. WHERE. Like seriously up until this point we have gotten a total of like 20 seconds of Arman onscreen and that is simply not enough for me to survive on lol. But ugh finally we are getting some good fucking food, as Gordon Ramsay would say, bc fuck yes to this entire phone exchange– Arman clearly angry and upset that she didn’t trust him enough to follow his plan (you just know he’s thinking back to their plan in 1x10 and how she trusted him then, but has since seemingly turned her back on him; dw so much more will be said on that in the next recap lol), then there’s Thony acknowledging that she made a mistake/that her choice endangered them all (aka maybe that she doesn’t always know better than everyone), and then there’s the way that all the fire immediately goes out of Arman the moment he hears how sick Luca has gotten. Ngl even though the ‘my son is dying!’ thing is getting a liiiiittle bit stale (I mean to be fair though, it is realistic for how a parent with a dying/chronically ill child would be), I do love that the two powerful men in Thony’s life will immediately put aside their own frustrations and agendas for Luca. (and, of course, for Thony herself)

“We’ll get those meds, but after that we’re done.” Honestly, I love this line, because you just know it’s not true; literally the emptiest threat my boy has ever made haha. But it’s important for it to be said anyway– considering that Arman has already established to Thony through both words and actions that he will do pretty much anything for her, the act of telling her that they’re done is one of the only ways he can express to her how much she has hurt him without literally saying those exact words aloud. (It’s probably also partly habit from his fights with Nadia, too; I don't doubt they've both threatened each other with divorce multiple times lol, which is extra funny now we know they were never married in the first place).  But anyway lbr here, he’s never going to follow through on this threat with Thony, just like he didn’t in 2x05 after he said it the first time. But the point is that there’s still just enough uncertainty there– the possibility that maybe this time he really does mean it– that it kinda forces Thony to examine her choices and face the idea that unless she trusts him and lets him be her equal partner in this, she might lose him. But ugghhh at him immediately grabbing all the money he has left in the world and coming out of hiding to help her save Luca. Just like she knew he would, before he even answered the phone– because like she told Fi: he always shows up when she needs him. 

Also, catch me screaming over the fact that the man has no reason to have her motorbike helmet with him, but does anyway??? Like last we saw him, he was at La Habana on the phone with Nadia, finding out about Kamdar, and presumably he went right home and got the essentials to take into hiding– which apparently includes Thony’s motorbike helmet. Y’know, just in case she called, needing him. I’m so fine and normal about this I swear

Actually you know what, I'm not fine at all, because we were absolutely robbed of the scene where she manages to sneak out the back of the hospital and he pulls up to get her and just silently holds out the helmet, and then on the ride it really hits her that maybe he will  walk away after all this and that it will be all her fault, and between that terrible feeling of dread and her overwhelming fear for Luca she starts to cry silently, her arms clinging to him tighter than usual because she’s so terrified she’s about to lose two of the people she loves most, and then at one point they’re stopped at a traffic light and he covers one of her hands with his and squeezes, like he can sense that she’s barely keeping herself together, and she cries harder because if she still has him then maybe it will all be okay, maybe they will get the meds and get back to Luca in time and maybe she can stop trying to carry all this weight on her own and–

But anyhow, I digress lol. I love that Arman steps straight into the office and barely spares the guy a glance as he grabs the bolt cutters and the paper with the container number on it. Man is on a mission to save his future stepson lol, and god help anyone who gets in his way. And ugh I just love everything about his and Thony’s teamwork– she finds the container and he comes running with the bolt cutters; he starts cutting the inventory lists free and handing them off to her, letting her guide him to the right spot. They just work so naturally together without needing to discuss it and idk man I am just very into everything they do together lol (and boy i would sure love for them to do some ~other~ stuff together lol)

God the look of terror on her face when they hear the cars screech into the shipping yard, and the way he whispers a reassurance to her and touches her arm for just a second as he passes? And then he peeks around the corner and sees several of Kamdar’s men being pointed their way (damn that little rat bastard for selling them out) and ugh I want to hug him because he knows how bad these odds are, knows that he might be about to die right now but that doesn’t matter, all that matters is keeping them from getting to Thony. Like ughhhhhh “I’ll do what I can to hold them off” and then him locking her inside the container?? He knows she has her phone, knows that even if he dies taking all the men out then she will still be able to call for help, so he takes every measure he can to keep her safe and give her the best chance of survival. I also stupidly love that it’s his knife that she’s using to cut out and search the inventory lists, and his knife that is her only weapon/defense. Just another way he protects her ugh

Though lol at him choking the guy out in like 5 seconds while the guy doesn’t even fight it. Kamdar would be embarrassed to be associated with such a pathetic goon lol. Ngl tho I very much enjoy watching Arman getting beaten up and thrown into objects and still getting up and keeping fighting because this is a fight he simply cannot afford to lose ugh

Okay these writers definitely do not know how to write delirious kids lol, but I forgive them. However I don’t forgive the nurse guy who Fi goes to for help, considering he glances at the monitor for half a second and then says Luca is probably just tired. Like seriously how did this guy get through nursing school? And then lol the next minute Luca has a tiny bit of a nosebleed (not even actively dripping) and Dr Gonzalez gets someone running in with a procedure cart to shove unnecessary packing up his nose. Like hey guys can you maybe try to find a happy medium between under- and overreacting lol??

God Thony dropping the phone and not being able to reach it makes me feel so stressed, and then ugh her being found because Fi keeps calling her??? Reminds me of 1x01 and Fi’s call being the reason she gets found and thrown in front of Arman in the first place. The woman really needs to learn to put her ringer on silent lol. But god how badass that she literally climbs her way out and runs across the top of the container and makes a jump for it? Like damn Arman was right, she really has learned a few things lol. Also fucking love Arman seeing Thony getting cornered by two gunmen and responding by immediately taking out his own guy (by fighting dirty, throwing sand in his eyes and then kicking him in the balls, to which I say hell yeah) before diving for his gun and shooting the guy who was about to shoot Thony. And then taking out the other guy too, before yelling for her to get down and killing the guy who had just appeared out of the container behind her (what that guy was still doing in the container for so long when Thony had already escaped, who knows lol). And ugh when he signals for her to run over to him, she doesn’t hesitate, just knows that he will cover her and make sure she makes it safely, and then they make their escape together on the bike with him shooting the last two guys while racing out of there??? Like honestly this man needs to go straight back to jail because being this sexy is a goddamn CRIME

Ugh, yet again we were robbed of the possible Armony though– like excuse me, where is my scene of her clinging to him again as he races them back to the hospital, then the two of them frantically asking each other if they’re okay/uninjured before he reassures her he’s fine and sends her back in to save Luca, telling her to call him as soon as she has news?? Like seriously where is it, writers??? I need ALL the Armony ugh

Ngl I’m on Dr Gonzalez’s side here lol, bc what Thony is proposing to do is legit crazy– not to mention both illegal and unethical, which would be sOO MUCH LESS OF A PROBLEM IF Y’ALL HAD GONE TO MY BOY DR SAROYAN INSTEAD, BUT NOOOOOOOO. Like again, I know that they had to end up at a proper hospital for the plot, but ugh that doesn’t stop the plot from being annoying lol. Though tbh I do love that they can only achieve their plan of sneakily giving Luca the treatment he needs because of their little network of cleaning ladies haha. Who run the world???? 

Lbr tho this girl is taking a huge risk for them– I appreciate the writers at least giving the explanation that it’s in thanks for Thony delivering Nina’s baby, but still, can we at least try to minimise her involvement so she doesn’t go down with you??? In fact, get Fi the hell out of here too, you don’t need her! Especially since Luca apparently needs to be ventilated for 36 hours for the drug to work, which means it is literally impossible for them to NOT get caught doing this. Aaaaahhhh I am so stressed lol. Aaand yep they’ve been caught by Dr Gonzalez already, who actually kind of seems like he might go along with it– what is it about the Thony & Luca combo that men just can’t say no to lol?? lbr I would not say no either sooo

Like lol Garrett literally admits it to Russo, that he was right in the middle of yelling at Thony and then let her go the moment there was a call about Luca. He really does get too close to his CIs and tbh I love that about him because it’s both a flaw and one of his main redeeming attributes. And ugh when he tells her that he believed Arman when he said that it came down to a choice between Thony or Maya (love the fact that both Russo and Garrett are well aware just how much Thony means to Arman), and that Arman is a criminal who actually tells the truth? Which is ironic because Garrett is a law enforcement officer that will lie and manipulate people all day long if it serves his purpose. Like yesss this is what the show has been saying all along– people aren’t just black and white, good and bad. The world is complicated and grey and what’s ‘right’ isn’t always clear

Speaking of complicated though, oh god Garrett and Russo. What are you two doing. Like I appreciate that Garrett says he’s a mess and needs to figure himself out, that was very mature of him…… aaaaaand now they’re hooking up lol. I still can’t get over the fact that timeline-wise, it’s been like a week since Maya’s death, but hey I guess everyone copes in their own way or whatever lol

Uggghhhh god it is so hard to watch this scene with Dr Gonzalez bringing in the cops and child services, but tbh are you REALLY so shocked, Thony?? Honestly she has been just getting away with shit for far too long, and even when there’s repercussions (like Arman or Garrett getting pissed with her) she gets forgiven quickly enough that it seems she’s forgotten that she might actually have to face real, permanent consequences. (Again, Marco who?? lol) But I do kinda love how angry and disbelieving she is about them taking her away, because it is so fitting for her character, and fits with the way she deals with fear/panic. But again I’m just saying Thony, you could have been sipping coffee with Arman at Luca’s bedside in Dr Saroyan’s clinic rn, but instead Luca is being taken from you, and you and Fi are in handcuffs. Sigh why do these fictional characters never listen to me

Omg wtf RK is trying to drown Nadia?????? No fucking way will I allow this. Ok that’s it, I’ve been saying all along that this dude gotta die and now there’s no going back. KILL HIM NADIA. MAKE HIM REGRET BEING BORN

Hi!! Sorry I'm late! Can't believe I hadn't read and responded to this yet (as in here; to be fair we've already had so much unhinged screeching words about this over text lol). So just to add a few more thoughts:

Birthday cake, (i): Thony holding up her hand, shielding the candle smoke from Luca; a mother's instinct 😭 ughhh it just about killed me 😵😵

Birthday cake, (ii): But so did her cake mixing technique -- omg dumping all that flour and liquid and egg together at the same time?? Yikesss what was that cake like then 🙈

DUDE your medical takedown in this ep totally deserves its own podcast lol I'M WHEEZING I HAVE no words

"Arman’s fear that he is only valued by others bc of what he can give them" -- YESSS and this is why I wish we'd had a scene of Arman confiding in Thony about killing Hayak. Their complicated relationship was exhibit A of that fear; the way Arman was used and looked down by Hayak even as he looked up to him as some sort of father figure for a good part of his life

"Arman is planning on killing Kamdar, and I need you to protect him." From a grammatical standpoint I thought Thony was referring to Garrett protecting Arman too 🤷‍♀️ The image that came to mind from her request was Garrett being physically there with whoever he was supposed to "protect".. and that sure as hell didn't turn to be RK.

I've said it a million times but I love all the Arman/ Garrett scenes this season. Ughh and now I'm scowling bc of [SPOILER?] Garrett is dead reasons.

TCL 2x10 recap

Hi I loooooooved this episodeeeeeeeeee 

Many thoughts below lol

Okay first things first, I already love this song (Velvet Ring by Big Thief) and it has had many plays on my TCL playlist lol. But ugh Thony alone in the house with her critically ill son, her whole life revolving around administering those meds every 6 hours? This show loves causing me pain haha speaking of which, her IV line has not been correctly primed (to remove air bubbles) and I’m being so brave about it lol  But anyway ngl it makes me giggle a bit that this cake has apparently taken like 12 hours to make lol. Ah, stress baking. We’ve all been there. But omg wait IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY???? Aaaaaaahh I know in 2x05 he said he was ‘almost six’ but I didn’t realise he meant he was only like 2 weeks away from it!! Omg which makes me even more emotional about Thony looking back at him before she left to take the jet to Manila, knowing she might not ever be able to come back ughhh. And then they have their little birthday party, just the two of them– just like it used to be, them against the world while Marco was off doing who knows what– and ugh how hard it must be to go back to that after months of having a loving family surrounding them with Fi and the kids and even Arman? And then ugh the way she smiles at him and blows out the candles for him, even though you can see how much it’s breaking her heart to see him like this? Someone save meee

Okay holy hell I don’t know what inspired this Nadia look but I am INTO IT. We stan a stunning and badass queen. But omg the fact RK keeps all his meds in his office drawer? Seems unlikely for a guy who likes to appear invulnerable. This moment is hilarious though bc she takes a pic of the meds, but most of them are turned so you can’t even read the label? Very helpful lolllll. Of the six pull bottles in the drawer, I can only make out one name clearly, which is Ibuprofen, aka literally an over-the-counter mild painkiller, which he also appears to have been given then incorrect dose of.  He appears to be on a blood thinner which I am extremely curious about, plus something for blood pressure, which is unsurprising tbh lol, given the way he works himself up haha– and speaking of which, he’s taking something for anxiety/agitation lol (definitely unsurprising). It entertains me so much that the pill bottle appears to list the medication as ‘benzodiazepines’ which is actually the drug class, not a specific drug itself lol. Seriously, TCL writers, any chance you want to hire me as your medical advisor?? I'll do it for free!! Hell, I’ll pay you to let me do it lol. Bc as much as I loved this ep, the medical stuff was painful haha. But anyway when Robert comes in, Nadia seems to grab the pill bottle from the far end, which is literally the Ibuprofen– and he tells her they’re too strong for her. Help this is too funny. Also I’ve tried that pressure point before (did it actually help? No idea lol) but it definitely won't help rn bc he’s literally not even putting pressure on the spot? Lol. Honestly I thought he was doing this as an excuse to check her pulse and see if she was hiding something, but his fingers aren’t in the right spot for that either. Bro’s literally just sitting there tenderly holding her hand lol (not that I can blame him lol, I’d do the same). But uh oh the way he reacts to her mention of Arman running the club with her, and his “in my business we eliminate liabilities” line… yeah things definitely ain't looking great for Arman rn. Also sidenote but seriously Robert what is up with that silver clasp on your jacket you look ridiculous. Ask your bae for some style tips please lol

Ugghhhh Fi desperately trying to clean for JD, trying to feel like she’s contributing something and not just being a burden, and also trying to show her appreciation and gratitude in one of the few ways she can. ‘Acts of service’ is definitely one of her love languages ugh. Also omgggg Laura the gf is gooooone (sorry, faceless name-buddy, but I’m on Fi’s side here lol) and aaaaaaaaahhh J-Fi are being all cute and flirty and kissing and omg my ship is sailing???? Honestly this is happening waaay too quick and easy and I’m a little terrified about that, but I’m just going to ignore that dread and enjoy it while I can lol. Also poor man is going to get a crick in his neck having to bend down that far to kiss her lol. He doesn't seem to mind though, and i certainly don't either haha.  But sigh Thony couldn’t you have waited another minute on the cockblocking?? Let your girl get some, bc god knows she deserves it haha. (Ngl Thony deserves it too; hurry up and get your act together, Armony! Take some lessons from J-Fi lol). But ugh JD is just so sweet and understanding and I love him???? I love how happy he makes her. And ‘we’re not done with this’ YEAH GIRL GET IT. (Not exactly sure how you’ll go about that when you’ve got a house full of kids, but I believe in you lol)

(*Casually pretends like I didn’t just spend over an hour photo-editing a screenshot I took of the ‘The Cleaning Ladies’ banner hanging on the wall of their office so I could have a good clear copy of their logo lol*)

Aaaanyways, speaking of the office, the decor is so funny to me, with all the colourful cleaning products perfectly spaced along the walls. Like it looks cute and all but I feel that it just has to be a really inconvenient way for them to be stored when they actually need to be used?? Ngl I also have some things to say about how the meds are arranged/displayed in the clinic part as well but I’m just going to let that slide lol. But oooooh what a beautiful serendipitous occurrence that she and Arman just happen to be there ~alone~ at the same time… like hey you two, I hear there’s a free bed at the back of the clinic??? Just saying lol. But ugh I love that Arman goes from ‘oh shit better deflect quick and hope she doesn’t question why I’m here’, right to ‘wait my Thony-is-upset senses are tingling, must give ALL THE COMFORT’ in like 2 seconds flat lol. Tbh I’ll never be over the incredibly gentle way he looks at her here, or that tiny “Hey, Thony?” that escapes him when he sees her struggling to get the words out. Our boy just hates seeing her hurting ughhh. And then finally he reaches for her just like in 1x06– hands not quite touching her, letting her decide whether to accept his embrace or not– and ugh she steps straight into him, her head pressing against his chest as she cries. And honestly I am obsessed with the fact that she only breaks down like this in front of him?? Even with Fi, she works hard to keep herself fairly together– her voice shakes and her eyes get shiny, but she doesn’t cry, and she’s often the one reassuring Fi that it will all be okay. But with Arman she doesn’t have to hold back, doesn’t have to be the strong one. For those brief few moments, she can just let herself be the one being comforted for once, can let herself simply sink into the comfort of his solid body as he holds her, his cheek resting against her head as he promises her that she’ll get through this. Tbh given that we can’t see her right hand, I’m going to headcanon that it’s in between them,  gripping the edge of his jacket and holding on tight because she can’t actually hold him– not when she (mistakenly, obviously) thinks he’s Nadia’s once more. Which is a big part of the reason why she pulls back again before too long, all too aware of all that’s standing between them, forcing her to have to put up her walls again ugh. Ngl I love how carefully he held her though– in 1x06, he couldn’t stop himself from holding her face, from looking at her mouth, making it clear to her how much he wanted her. Now, they’re obviously both already fully aware of that, just as they’re aware of how complicated things are, and so he keeps his hands only on her back, his grip light, letting her pull away when she’s ready. Though lbr after the shit that these two have been through lately, they both need like an hour-long hug lol (damn I should have pitched that to the writers for the finale lol)

Poor foolish Arman was really hoping he was going to get outta there without her asking him again what he was doing lol. Too bad,  buddy. But ugh you can see him considering the idea of lying to her and keeping her in the dark about his plans– like he did with Nadia in S1 about the gun deal/Mexico stuff etc– but he can’t. After 1x05, he and Thony don’t lie to each other anymore, and so even though he knows she won’t approve, he still tells her. And okay I know that this scene has caused a lot of contention in the fandom– and a lot of hate for Thony, which I’m sad about– but I’m going to come right out and say it: Thony is right, and Arman is wrong. Now before i go any further, let’s not forget that I have been one of Arman’s most vocal supporters in the fandom all season, especially when he was getting hate in the early/middle eps; these huge recaps are literally evidence of how much I love and support my boy haha. And I am still very much his supporter now, and I completely understand why he is becoming desperate to free them all from RK (see my last recap for more about that, since I feel I've already covered his perspective pretty well there). But I have to say that in this case, I am in complete agreement with Thony. So let’s see if I can explain lol.

Okay so firstly let’s talk about Arman's plan to kill RK. He intends to do it by creating a toxic interaction between RK's regular medications and the Digoxin that he just grabbed at the clinic, thus causing a seemingly-natural heart attack without ever having to touch RK. Sounds like a perfect crime! No one will ever know! It’s brilliant, right? Wrong! It’s a terrible plan literally full of flaws. And okay look, I can say with some amount of authority here that with the exact right combination of circumstances– taking into account the medication and dose used, the specific medications the person is on, their pre-existing level of cardiac function and overall health, and also like a huge amount of sheer luck– there is the chance it would work. A very small chance, but sure, it exists. In this situation, however? No way. And Thony, a fucking cardiac surgeon, knows this. Even if Arman manages to succeed with giving RK the Digoxin undetected (a huge risk in itself), then the chance of it interacting with his meds is incredibly low, and the chance of it causing a fatal heart attack is practically non-existent. Thony knows all this, and maybe if she was well-rested and stress-free (instead of sleep deprived and emotionally distraught from caring for her dying child) then she would have been able to explain it to him calmly and in a way that he'd understand. But she’s got no mental space for that, especially when her mind is immediately equating the loss of RK with the loss of Luca’s meds– aka, her only chance of saving Luca's life. Because, remember, he is DYING. Like actively dying as we speak. If that fluid around the lungs keeps building up, his lungs won’t be able to take in the amount of oxygen needed to supply his body, and he’ll go into multi-organ failure and die. And that’s not to mention that his liver is already failing– if she can’t counteract that soon with the meds, then draining the fluid won’t help. He’ll die from the flood of toxins being released from his diseased liver, much of which will invade his brain, creating irreversible and fatal damage. And okay I’m sorry I know I’m getting grim here, but I have literally watched people die from this multiple times, because once it gets past a certain point, even an entire medical team can’t help. And I don’t doubt that Thony has seen it happen many times too, and so knows exactly the horrible fate that Luca is heading towards– and yet people are really out here judging her for doing whatever it takes to stop it from happening????? Guys. Guys.

Like okay I absolutely do believe that Arman intends to get her the drugs asap (even though he did a terrible job of actually communicating that intention to her), and I'm sure that he’s confident he can definitely make it happen– but honestly it doesn’t matter.  The risk is just too goddamn high, because if even just one thing goes wrong– and based on his-less-than-airtight plan, it almost definitely will– then the meds will be lost, and Luca is dead. And possibly Arman is too, if he gets caught by RK. Honestly Arman is too blinded by his need to be free of RK to be able to see how flawed his plan is and how grave the consequences could be. He’s also blinded by the hurt and anger he feels when Thony demands “With what money? What resources?” because it makes him feel like she doesn't trust him, and that his money and connections were all that actually mattered to her– not him– and that now that there’s someone else who has far more of both, he’s been tossed aside. Which is absolutely not true (dude, she loves you, you idiot), but it still hits right on target of one of Arman’s main character flaws: his fear that he is only valued or wanted by others because of what he can give them, and that if he can no longer provide those things, then he will be deemed worthless and abandoned. It’s been fascinating to see that trait become more overt this season, but man does it lead to him making some goddamn questionable decisions lol. Ugh but anyway, I feel like I’ve ranted about this for long enough, so TLDR: Thony is right to try to stop Arman, and it’s not her fault that she didn’t necessarily handle the conversation well, especially considering it was abruptly sprung on her when she’s already practically at her breaking point because her child is dying and she is devoting every ounce of energy she has into trying to keep that from happening. Fight me on it lol

Ok this big bald guy better be careful, Thony is having the week from hell and tbh could snap at any moment haha. I think we can all assume he’s definitely there because RK wants her to know that he’s watching, that he holds the power here and that she can’t escape, but I kinda hope that it also is a little bit because he values her now and wants her (or okay, maybe his investment in her) protected from Sin Cara? 

And then oooh Nadia has a guard too (again, for protection, but also because RK is possessive as fuck lol) and I appreciate that he at least didn’t even try to stop Arman going to see her? Tbh I could have believed RK giving the order that Arman is to be kept away from Nadia, but he probably didn’t want to upset her by doing that. But omg okay hold up, Arman is making Nadia dose RK? Holy shit, this is further evidence that Arman really is acting like a cornered animal and not thinking things through, bc he would normally have never put her at risk like that. He would have used her to get the info he needed, like what drugs RK is on, and maybe to create a distraction, but he would do the risky bit himself. “I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you and it’s not going to come down to that” you can’t promise that!!! Your plan is so full of holes you could use it as a fishing net! And omg "just put enough of these in his drink to stop his heart" oh yeah and do you know how many that is, Arman?? Do you??? I can guarantee Nadia doesn’t! Plus there's no certainty that the drug will even have that effect on his heart!! This plan is the worst aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! But ugh at least he has actually taken clear steps to find Luca’s meds and get access to them– and omg the helpless look on his face when Nadia realises that the meds he's so determined to get are for Thony, and the way he tells her it's not up for debate?? That was hot. But see this is what he needed to make clear to Thony at the clinic, that he was actually actively in process of getting the meds and that he wasn’t going to kill RK until after he had them. Unless maybe it was their argument that made him realise how urgent the situation was and so he stepped up his meds-acquisition plans to show her that he could be relied upon and that he wouldn’t do anything that might endanger Luca. Who knows. 

Curious about why Thony did a peritoneal tap (draining the abdomen) rather than a pleural tap (draining the chest), considering Luca's abdomen didn't look at all distended/swollen, but lbr it was probably just easier to film lol. Also the ‘dressing’ she put on would be practically useless in preventing fluid leakage or the infiltration of bacteria, but whatevs lol. It was cool getting to see his Chevron incision from the surgery– ngl I’d wondered which kind of incision she’d used (oh, the things I think about lol).

Honestly I’m surprised Garrett didn’t immediately go track Arman down and bring him in the moment he saw that partial print, but I guess Russo is managing to keep him under control for now. (Since it’s at least the day after they matched the print, I’m curious about what he did when he got home– get drunk and stare at Maya’s photo or something? Or did he stay late at the office trying to find more evidence begot finally going home to crash?). But lol at his theory that Arman killed Maya bc he found out she was an informant, and was worried she would rat him out– for what, lol? Arman and Maya literally never met until the night he shot her, and he had nothing to do with Cortes’ whole cartel thing until the FBI made him get involved. Maya would have known absolutely nothing about Arman or any of his activities. Also slight sidenote but I find it so funny that they never tied Hayak’s death to him– like clearly the autopsy would have found the puncture mark in his neck, and so the next logical step is to check the camera footage for everyone who had been in the infirmary lately and might have gotten access to needles? And if they'd done that, they would have seen who had just been in there earlier for a check of the wounds he received after being attacked by inmates who were clearly hired by someone with lots of money? C'mon detectives. This is not a hard one lol. But sigh anyway, I’ll forgive this show for a plothole or two– especially one like this, because Arman getting pinned for Hayak’s murder and spending his life in jail would have been very inconvenient for my Armony shipping plans lol. But hmm ok Russo does seem genuinely determined to get RK and everyone he’s connected to, so maybe my conspiracy theory is a little crazy lol. Oh well, it was a fun thought

You know it surprises me how much I actually love Thony/Nadia scenes. There’s obviously tension there– resentment from Nadia, guilt from Thony, and jealousy from both sides– but idk, they’re oddly united by the simple fact that they both love Arman. I’d also like to think that it was a deliberate costuming choice in this scene that they are both wearing blue rn– which has been the colour most associated with Arman through the show (for Nadia it’s green, and for Thony it’s obviously red) but that’s probably just me imagining things lol. But so anyway, I love that Nadia could have had her big security guy immediately throw Thony out, but instead she wordlessly led her to the office where they could talk. Ngl though I did giggle at her ‘well that’s progress’ line when Thony said Arman wasn’t answering her calls. The snark is strong with this one lol. But ugh their argument is amazing for so many reasons? Thony begging for Nadia’s help, knowing she has no right to, but doing it anyway because there’s literally nothing she won’t do to save Luca. Nadia clearly feeling a reluctant pity for Thony even despite her anger. Thony trying not to react to the way Nadia keeps using ‘we’ to refer to herself and Arman like they’re a single unit. Nadia getting pissed at Thony for working with RK and ‘betraying’ Arman, which is exactly what Thony got pissed at her for doing only a few eps ago. Nadia clearly now believing that Thony just uses people to get what she wants and then discards them (making the point by referring to RK as being Thony’s ‘hero’ now, after having called Arman that multiple times in previous eps)– a belief which would then make her even angrier that Thony destroyed their marriage seemingly for nothing. And– maybe because of that– Nadia deliberately not mentioning that Arman is literally out getting Luca’s meds for her right now. Then there's Thony’s instant and strong reaction when Nadia accuses her of not caring what happens to Arman, and then going quiet and clenching her jaw at the genuine worry and certainty in Nadia’s voice when she says RK is going to kill Arman, and the way she then leaves without trying to argue further. And let’s not forget the fact that she didn’t actually tell Nadia that they can’t kill Kamdar, but just told her to wait. Honestly I think that once she got her hands on Luca’s meds and ensured he was safe, she would have actually helped them to kill RK (and in a much smarter way lol), and I think that if Arman had answered any of her damn calls, she would have told him that. When they spoke at the clinic she was already upset and also completely caught off guard by his plan, but she’s had time to calm down and think about it now, and I think she would have talked it out with him and come up with a joint plan that would have protected both him and Luca. But instead of that, we got some real 'Romeo and Juliet' style miscommunication happening here, and well, that’s never led to disaster, right??? Right??

Lol if I saw Arman walking through my workplace, I too would follow after him and stare at him like these two guys are hahaha. Btw where is this shipping container place? Vegas, surely, because I assume he didn’t drive the 4 hours to LA just to talk to this guy lol. Also ngl I have to giggle because it’s been literally like a couple of days since Thony was in Manila, and yet they’re all acting like the meds have already reached the States or will be arriving at any moment, despite the fact that shipping something on a freighter from the Philippines to the US would take at least 3 weeks haha. Ah, TV magic. But ugh anyway who cares about that when Arman is so hot in this scene?? Firstly there’s his annoyance at this guy disrespecting him and trying to haggle with him– something I bet he would never have even dared to attempt in the pre-prison days– and then there’s his fury about the fact that by practically holding the container hostage, the man is endangering Luca. (Not to mention that any delay with getting the meds would mean that Thony would keep on believing that Arman can no longer be relied upon to protect Luca– I mean, not that she actually believes that, but Arman thinks she does). Honestly Arman is probably relieved to have the chance to let out his anger on someone (he could have literally just pulled his gun on the guy, but he chose to get physical haha), and unlike that asshole guy he beat for RK in 2x05, he’s doing this for himself. Ugh I have missed Big Bad Mob Boss* Arman (*with a secret heart of gold lol). I also love how useless the two musclemen were at protecting their boss haha. And then ugh his "nobody touches the cargo but me!"– he's really not taking any chances with Luca’s meds now ughhhh. I would die for him Your Honour

Nadia is crushing up pills in the bathroom and I am wheezing because a) our girl has clearly had some ~experience~ at this, which tbh is hardly surprising considering the type of party we first meet her at; and b) she’s literally got three tablets??? THREE. Three tablets of 250mcg of Digoxin (the dosage was on the bottle). That’s a total of 750 micrograms, aka LESS THAN A MILLIGRAM. For RK’s approximate weight, that’s literally considered a normal therapeutic dose. You know how much Digoxin it generally takes to create a severe acute toxic reaction? Usually more than TEN milligrams, but at the very least more than 5mg, unless someone has some pretty significant health issues and just happens to be having some REALLY shit luck that day. And as far as I could determine from his meds, the only thing RK was taking that has any potential to interact with the Digoxin would be the Benzos, but he takes a low dose and likely only uses them as needed, which means he probably hasn’t got any in his system currently. And hey, again, you know who would have known all this? THONYYYYY.  Like I’m sorry if I’m ruining the very serious moment of Nadia putting her would-be ‘murder weapon’ into her cleavage in a folded up $20 lol but I just can’t deal with any of this at all hahahahaa

Ooooh Thony meeting with Garrett in the carwash, so clandestine haha. And tbh I’m actually impressed that he manages not to immediately give away that he knows about Arman and Maya, and about Thony likely lying to him, especially when the first thing she does is ask him for yet another favour lol. But holy shit she just comes right out and says that Arman is planning to kill Kamdar? Ngl that caught me off guard (I want to google if it’s technically actually illegal to make plans to kill someone– like I assume so, depending on how detailed and feasible they are?– but I don’t want to bring the feds to my own doorstep by looking it up lol). But man it really shows that Thony has come to trust Garrett– lbr him protecting Chris would have gone a long way for that– but also that she took Nadia seriously when she said that Arman was in danger from RK. Bc consider Thony's line “Arman is planning on killing Kamdar, and I need you to protect him”. Garrett takes that to mean that she wants him to protect RK from Arman, which is partly true– until she has Luca’s meds, she does still need him– but I also think that when she says ‘I need you to protect him’, she also means Arman. He needs protection from himself– from taking part in a foolish plan that could easily get him sent to prison or killed– and he needs protection from RK’s men, who could also come for him before Arman even has a chance to act on his plan. And so she asks someone she trusts– a man who is literally a trained FBI agent, and who has already protected someone she loves– to keep an eye on Arman, and keep him away from RK. I can see how some fans would call this a betrayal of Arman, but I honestly don’t see it that way at all. I see it as Thony doing the only thing she can to protect both Luca (by preventing RK’s death and the loss of access to the meds) and Arman (by literally giving him his own bodyguard). Yes, this will screw over Arman’s plans, but that’s a price she’s willing to pay– and like I said last week regarding Arman choosing to protect himself and Thony by killing Kamdar even against her wishes, her stopping him is just the same– both are a situation of “I love you enough to do what needs to be done to save you, even if it makes you hate me”. Which is why Thony is doing what's necessary to protect Arman, even if it comes at the cost of damage to their relationship and the trust between them. After all, it keeps coming back to what he said to her in 1x01: “when it comes to keeping your son [aka the people you love] alive, it’s not about doing things the right way or the wrong way, but any way you can.”  

But man this ep really is aptly named, huh? Practically every scene explores the concept of trust– Thony wanting Arman to trust her judgement and not act on his plans. Arman wanting Thony to trust that he can and will protect Luca. Arman trusting Nadia to carry out this plan with him. Nadia trusting that his plan will work. Thony trusting Garrett to protect Arman (and him breaking that trust by almost murdering him). Garrett's trust in Thony being broken by her lying to him about Maya. Fi being forced to question her trust in Thony. Like damn writers, you’re really exploring human nature here aren’t you

Lol at first I thought all these texts were from Nadia to RK, and that he had actually stood her up bc he’d figured out their plan and had ditched their dinner to go abduct Arman again. But then I learned to read and saw that the texts were to Arman. Clearly something has held him up, since he said he was 10 minutes away and the tone of her texts suggests it’s been longer than that. Also sidenote, but on rewatching I noticed that right before the shot cuts to the next scene, you can see the actor who plays RK in the background, waiting just outside the door for his signal before he starts walking into the main club area lol 

Aaaand now we know why Arman is delayed haha. Fell for the old kidnapper-hiding-in-the-backseat trick huh? Though tbh given the size of that car I think it would be very hard to miss a six foot man scrunched up in the backseat lol. Guess Arman just had a lot of other stuff on his mind haha. But daaaamn Garrett this is definitely not what Thony meant when she said to keep Arman away from Kamdar! Tbh I don’t love that they clearly split the scene of Nadia in Fastlane and put this in the middle of it, because it throws the chronological order out of whack, but I guess it created more suspense this way or whatever lol. 

Apparently Nadia managed to get off a few more texts in the 10 or so seconds before RK crossed over to her from the doorway haha. Honestly though I think I’m becoming paranoid bc when he held out the gift box I was like IS IT GONNA HAVE SOME KIND OF PROOF IN THERE SHOWING HE KNOWS SHE’S PLANNING TO BETRAY HIM?? But then it was just a matching necklace, which then prompted the thought of ‘watch out it’s a listening device!!!!’ lol. God this show has me too on edge. Also lol RK is so goddamn Extra, like he wants to take her to Buenos Aires for sunrise?? Cool just a casual 14 hour flight in a tight dress lol. Though then again maybe his whole plan is to get her out of the dress for the flight haha. Love the ‘To our new beginning’ today bc from her it's  more like ‘to your end’ lol. Honestly I have so much respect for Nadia for what she does in this next scene; like not only does she stall him for an hour to give Arman time to show up, but then when he doesn’t come, she doesn’t abandon the mission?? She makes her own distraction and then actually goes for it and doses his drink??? Like firstly omggggg girl you are literally drugging someone in a crowded area where there are multiple potential witnesses, not to mention cameras, and also where Robert himself could turn around at any second and catch her in the act?? Tbh I am now headcanoning that Sophie the waitress did actually see her do it, bc she fills up the glass literally moments later, but since Nadia has always been nice to her and RK only pays her minimum wage, she’s like ‘eh not my problem’ lol. Women supporting women, amirite?? Ngl I would totally watch a Sophie POV series of all the drama she witnesses between RK, Nadia, Arman, and Thony lol. But anyway speaking of the champagne– even once the drug is in the glass, she has so little time for it all to dissolve away???? Like did she experiment beforehand and see how long it would take?? And what about the way the medication would change the taste??? God this plan is the worst and while I am so impressed by Nadia’s bravery and her taking that risk for Arman (well, and also for her inheritance, since it makes me feel more comfortable to think that she’s doing it for selfish reasons as well as for Arman lol), this whole situation still stresses me out far too much aaaaahhh

Oh man Garrett taking Arman to the dumping spot looks so disturbingly reminiscent of Arman killing the guy in 2x04 aaaaaah. But ugh the resignation on Arman’s face– lbr he’s been waiting for this moment. Whether it was Garrett, or RK, or someone else, he’s known that this day was coming for him; that after all he’s done, he’s been living on borrowed time. I just keep thinking of the Hamilton lyrics for him:  I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. Is this where it gets me, on my feet, several feet ahead of me? I see it coming, do I run or fire my gun or let it be?  But ugh even for all Garrett’s big talk (“do you think anyone would give a crap if your body was one of [the dumped corpses]?” like uh yeah buddy, Thony would sure as hell care) his gun isn’t steady and he’s clearly trying to work himself up to the idea of pulling the trigger. Also dude it annoys me so much that he says "What I really want is to know everything about the night that you put a bullet in Maya’s head" because she wasn’t shot in the head??? We clearly see (when her body is pulled out of the river) that Arman shot her in the chest. Which is also the place that makes the most sense??? It’s a bigger target, it’s quick and clean, and there’s just no way Arman would shoot an innocent woman in the head. Ugh c’mon writers, keep up lol. I thought maybe Garrett was trying to bait Arman into correcting him and revealing he did shoot her, but it didn’t really seem like that.  But sigh anyway. Clearly Garrett needed to get all of this stuff off his chest about Maya, and the kind of person she was, and how she’s dead because of Arman– but tbh I think Garrett is also saying it to himself a little, like reminding himself that if she’d never met him, she never would have ended up in that river.  I love that Garrett is the one to bring up Thony, showing that he knows what it means to Arman that Maya saved Thony from Cortes. Garrett knows what they are to each other, which is why when Arman turns and looks him in the eye and tells him (even though he knows that Garrett might have a recording device on him that's listening to every word) that he’d had to choose between Maya’s life or Thony’s, and that if Thony hadn’t been there, then things would have turned out differently– Garrett knows that he’s telling the truth. And even more than that, he knows the impossibility of the choice Arman was faced with, which is why he lowers the gun. He later says that he never would have done what Arman did and taken a life like that, but honestly I’m not so sure, and I don’t think he is either. He didn’t hesitate to kill Cortes when Maya was potentially in danger from him, and though killing an innocent would have been much harder for him, the whole point is that the ‘rat’ in the chair was going to die no matter what, so the choice was either to kill the rat and ensure the survival of the woman he loves, or to let all three of them be murdered for nothing. Faced with that situation, I’m certain Garrett would have pulled the trigger too.

Also dude I would have loved to see what the drive back to the gas station was like, the two of them sitting silently next to each other, both dwelling on their own grim thoughts? And then ugh when Garrett tells Arman that the second he's is no longer useful to him, he will bury him? That was hot tbh. Honestly I am living for the connection developing between these two, these former-nemeses-turned-reluctant-allies, and I can’t wait to see more of them. Their relationship is so fascinating because there is so much tension and resentment and anger but there’s also a grudging respect and regard, at least from Arman’s side (because of everything that Garrett has done for Thony) as well as remorse from Arman about his role in Garrett losing the woman he loves. Ngl I dream of a S3 where Arman and Thony are badass mob bosses of their medication import business (Nadia is happily elsewhere being queen of La Habana and Fastlane, being fawned over by men and women alike) and Armony have their morally dubious FBI buddy who they feed info to about bad guys and help him put them away behind bars. Please give it to me writers, I’d do anythiiinggggg  

Okay excuse me show, you cannot just put the Armony theme music over a scene with Fi and Luca??? Firstly Luca has his own damn theme music, and secondly, don’t you know I have a very strong Pavlovian response to this specific melody lol?? That was just cruel lol

Anyway ughhhhh J-Fi are so cute with their flirting over the phone and her giddy little face, she’s like a schoolgirl with a crush omg I love themmmm

Ok honestly, I just really don’t understand how people are hating on Thony for this ep. Like she finds out Arman’s plan, and then literally the moment she is done with the procedure that Luca needs to stay alive, she leaves him with Fi while she goes to La Habana to try to talk to Arman and keep him from putting both himself and Luca in danger. But instead she finds Nadia, so she begs her to stop the plan. Then she goes straight to the one person she knows who has the best chance of keeping Arman safe, and begs him to help. And then later she literally goes to RK himself to try to convince him of how beneficial it would be to have Arman working with her on the medication importing operation, how she needs an asset like him. Like guys the woman literally left her critically ill child at home and spent the day running all over town trying to protect Arman (and ok yes, protecting Luca’s meds too, but it was never just about that). And then ugh at Fastlane when RK tries to get threatening, asking her if she’s telling him how to run his business, she stands her ground and tells him that her and Arman running the meds operation together for him was what they had all agreed to in the first place, and ugh just look at these two brave women both trying to protect Arman from RK?? Albeit going about it in very different (and somewhat conflicting) ways lol. I do kind of love that RK genuinely seems to think highly of Thony and her Badass Mob Boss potential, and wants to see her free herself from Arman, who he clearly considers to be purely dead weight. Like aw that’s nice that he’s been drinking his Respect Women (And Their Right To Do Crime) Juice lately, but shame that it comes with the side effect of hating Arman even more for the fact that he is valued and desired by these amazing women lol

So I hope you didn’t think I was done with my medical ranting because hoooooooooooo boyyyyyy I am not even CLOSE haha. Like honestly I was just going to let all of the medical stuff in this ep slide and not say anything, bc it’s TV and inaccuracies are just an inherent aspect of that, but @enigmaticfox (the little devil on my shoulder that she is) told me to go for it, and so now you must all suffer with me haha. So where to begin?? Maybe with the fact that acute digoxin toxicity is most likely to take around 2 hours post ingestion to actually start showing symptoms? Or that it is far more likely to present with vomiting and abdominal pain than sudden cardiac arrest? And oh boy I could definitely say many many things about Thony’s CPR lol, but instead I will be generous and admit that it can’t be all that easy to simulate true CPR on TV (though I have certainly seen it done much better than this on other shows haha). But I will NOT be generous about the whole "we don’t know what meds he’s on, so shocking him could kill him" nonsense lol. Important PSA to anyone reading this: if you see someone collapse from what seems to be a heart attack, and there’s a defibrillator nearby, please for the love of god put the defibrillator on them. It will literally TELL you whether their heart is in a rhythm that can be shocked or not. (And honestly even if it’s not, as long as they’re not breathing and don’t have a pulse, getting shocked anyway won’t actually hurt them– it just won’t help fix the problem at all, and will delay you resuming CPR for no reason which is definitely not what we want). So basically they 100% should have at the very least put the defibrillator pads on and checked the rhythm– and in fact, the two main cardiac-arrest rhythms caused by Dig toxicity are VF and VT, which are both shockable. But I guess the writers wanted to make it clear that without Thony there, Arman's plan would have likely succeeded and RK would have died; and that because of her choice to take actions to save his life, she indirectly condemned Arman. But dude, it just ain't that simple. Firstly, if Thony did nothing and then RK miraculously somehow survived anyway, he would definitely have her killed for not trying to save him. And though she knows that saving him means he remains a threat to Arman, he won’t be able to come after Arman immediately, meaning there’s time for her and Arman to figure out a way to get him to safety, like asking Garrett to get him put in WitSec. And maybe she’s hoping that by saving his life, RK will feel indebted to her, and will give her whatever she wants in return– which, of course, would be him sparing Arman.

But anyway, back to complaining lol. She tells the paramedics that RK is bradycardic, which literally just means that his heart is beating slowly, but she could have only known that by having felt his pulse– and if someone has a pulse, then they are not in cardiac arrest, and they don’t need CPR lol.  And her telling the medics that they need an EKG makes me feel so much secondhand embarrassment, bc like dude. They know. This is literally something they deal with almost daily in their job. But then lolllll they don’t even take his shirt off and they put on like 2 leads instead of 10 and no one asks for or gives any history of what happened or any details about RK, and someone is giving him oxygen without even holding the mask to his face (meaning the O2 is all just leaking out around the mask rather than going into his lungs) . And then Thony recognises from the EKG that he might be hyperkalaemic (have a dangerously high potassium level, which to be fair does happen with Dig toxicity) and tells them to treat it by giving dextrose– except she doesn’t mention insulin which is the other very essential part of that treatment (as in, the dextrose is useless without it), and she also mentions calcium gluconate which should actually be calcium chloride which is more appropriate in cardiac arrest. Plus these are treatments which generally happen in the emergency room, not with paramedics. Also she says that the EKG shows peaked T waves and widened QRS’s, but the actual rhythm visible on the screen (while definitely slow) actually shows normal T’s and QRS’s. And also she stops CPR because they apparently ‘got a rhythm’, and gives instructions to not shock him ‘if his heart stops again’ (which, again, is bullshit) but then she tells the medic to carry on CPR??? Girl you have literally just proved he’s not in arrest????????????  This is honestly so painful haha. And omg the way the medic acts like such a robot in following her orders, like he would have had no idea what to do otherwise? Gah. Honestly even as a doctor with emergency training I would not be giving the paramedics orders??? I would be discussing my concerns with them but I would be trusting them to do their jobs??? They literally have protocols upon protocols for this shit man. But ugh. Anyway. Nadia congratulating Thony on just killing Arman was kinda funny bc she’s clearly forgetting that now she is in danger too as his accomplice– so technically, Thony may have just gotten both of them killed. Well, they got themselves into that situation so we can’t really blame Thony tbh lol. But aaaanyway I apologise for all of that, but I guess I just have a lot of Opinions haha?  (/EndRant)

Sigh it’s a relief to see Luca looking better. And I appreciate that Fi actually checks in with Thony about how she’s doing; I feel like her own wellbeing gets overlooked a lot, except (for the most part at least) by Arman. And ugh she admits to Fi about having to make a difficult choice today which may have endangered Arman, and you can see how much it weighs on her. Fi immediately reassures her about Arman seeming to be able to take care of himself, which is a very valid point tbh. He’s a grown man who has lived in a very dangerous world for the last two decades; he’s no stranger to his life being at risk. Still, I think Thony would have trouble accepting that argument bc as we have already seen over the past 2 seasons, she’s very protective of Arman and worries about him at the best of times, let alone when his life is being threatened by someone like RK. She breaks it down so clearly though when she says that the decision today involved her being asked to choose Arman over Luca– because for her the situation was that simple. Letting Arman kill Kamdar to protect himself would risk losing access to Luca’s meds, which Luca would almost certainly die without; and so of course she had to choose her son– who has been her entire world for over six years– over a man who she loves, but who has only been in her life for literally about 4 months, and she honestly doesn’t even know if he will choose to stay in her life. To be totally honest, I think that just the simple fact that the decision was genuinely difficult for her to make– not in terms of knowing her choice, but in terms of acting on it, knowing the potential consequences it would have for Arman– is incredible, and shows just how deeply she cares for Arman. But lbr I’d be very concerned about any parent who did put their romantic kind-of-partner above the life of their child– like if Fi or JD had to choose between saving each other or saving Jazz, both of them would pick Jazz without hesitation, because they’re her parents. It kind of comes with the territory???

Anyway speaking of JD, he appears and is not at all happy about being manhandled by Mr Big, Bald, and Brawny. Tbh though I kind of love this bodyguard guy? Like every time he speaks you just know that there are no thoughts going on in that big bald head. He’s clearly a former boxer based on his cauliflower ears, and tbh it looks like he got just a few too many concussions lol. Honestly I would love for him to start feeling a sense of respect and regard towards Thony somehow (like maybe she helps him with a medical issue or something) and he becomes like a big ol’ loyal dog following her around haha. But anyway ooooh I kind of like that JD calls Thony out on things? I think having someone force her to look at herself and her actions is important to make sure she doesn’t disappear too far down the rabbit hole. Though it does kinda suck that he’s (very fairly) forcing Fi to be torn between Thony and the kids… but I mean, like I literally just said, she’s going to have to choose the kids, just like Thony would. But ugh when she tells Thony about the ultimatum he gave her… Thony looks so sad, because though she knows what the right choice is and will support Fi in making it, she knows it means that she will lose her entire family and be alone with just Luca once again. Tbh I’m just the tiniest bit happy that she is the one on the receiving end of this decision this time, because it might give her a sense of how it felt for Arman, and might make her be more open with him about why she did what she did and how much she wished she hadn’t had to make that decision. Ngl I have already drafted a fic where Arman turns up at her house after the events of the ep and they actually finally talk it all out and maybe also make out lol

“I’ve never had an issue with my heart” Hmmmmm are you sure you even have one, Robert?? Lol. But seriously though, one of the pills in his drawer was a ‘blood thinner’ and so that literally means that he has to have something wrong with his heart– or if not that, then a problem with blood clots, and those can obviously also lead to cardiac arrest as well anyway. So really this heart attack shouldn’t have been that much of a shock. “They checked your blood for toxins” lol like what? What funky tests are these guys running? Though to be fair, if they do take his request to test for ‘everything’ seriously, then Nadia is in deep shit because our genius boy Arman picked one of the few meds that we actually have a blood test for. And which can also cause a very distinctive waveform pattern on the EKG as well. Like siiiighhhhh have I mentioned yet how stupid this plan was???

Anyway oh mannnnn I cannot say how much I enjoyed this ep (even despite the medical ridiculousness) because holy shit literally every interaction between the characters was so good and all of them took actions that were so completely in character and ugh I am just so excited to see what happens tomorrow aaaaaahhhh

THE CLEANING LADY 2x07 Truth or Consequences // 2x10 Trust She wanted to help people. And you know who she helped? Thony.

TCL 2x09 recap

Phew, this week was busy as hell so ngl this show picked a good time to have a set-up episode haha. Still, I thought the ep was actually really great, and I’m excited for what’s coming next!

Ok I’m really happy to see more of Thony’s buddhism! Lbr she needs his help rn. Was it really necessary for Fi to bring Luca to meet at the temple though? The threat of Kamdar is fairly under control for the moment, so really she could have just brought him to the house. (Sidenote, but in terms of timeline, it sounds like he’s been at JD’s for 2 nights, meaning this ep is only a day or so after last ep?). But anyway. Ngl I like seeing Thony in her jacket bc it just makes me think of her connection to Arman, but tbh I was like ‘why is everyone in long sleeves?? It’s summer in Nevada????’ but oh right no, the filming is in summer/fall, but the show must be at least nearing winter by now (not that winter in Nevada is all that cold anyway haha). But yeah in the pilot, Thony says they’ve been in the US for 8 months, and in 1x07 they celebrated all the holidays they missed having with Marco, which included Christmas. So Thony took Luca to the US in December at the latest, and then the two of them were there for 8 months already before the events of the show started taking place, and it’s now been about 3 more months since then. So I guess we could almost be in November/December again?  Too bad this isn’t the kind of show to do a christmas episode lol, I would have loved that

Ok speaking of jackets/wardrobes etc, Arman needs to stop wearing the same goddamn thing every single day (as utterly sexy as it is), bc it’s making it harder for me to know exactly when everything is happening haha. I’m gonna assume that this scene actually occurs the night before Fi and Thony meet in the temple (aka still the same day as when Thony told him about RK and Nadia’s marriage). Bc I’m guessing that Thony told him, then he left and spent a while being upset (and conflicted, because yes the lying and the manipulation sucks but hey on the other hand, suddenly he’s a free man lol) before looking up the public record, and then he goes to La Habana, where Nadia is excitedly setting up what looks to be a dinner date for them (sigh, I feel sad for both her and us lol). Tbh I think that is the timeline that makes the most sense, bc lbr, if this was happening the following day after he finds out (so the same day as Thony in the temple), then Nadia would have been upset or suspicious about where he had disappeared to for a whole night, because clearly this is their first time seeing each other since Thony’s reveal. But anyway I guess it really doesn’t matter much haha. Also I like how he’s like “so it’s true” and then later tells her that he looked it up on the public record. Like duh of course it’s true lol, you literally saw the proof? Also ngl I was very satisfied when he turned away from her kiss, and then when she hugged him, begging forgiveness, and he didn’t hug back. I know it’s mean but I just love every single thing that further proves that this relationship really has no future… (well, the romantic part of it, at least.)

Also YAAASSSSSS I knew she and Robert were still married!! I mean I’m sure I’m not the only one who called it, but still, gotta love being proved right. And like I said, gotta love Arman no longer being a married man haha. Also incidentally, if RK and Nadia ‘divorced’ after a year, then that was 7 years ago, confirming that her and Arman have been together less than that. (even if they met while she was with Robert, I doubt that she would have dared get with Arman until the divorce was supposedly finalised, given that she was afraid of RK). But anyways then aaaaahhhh the way Arman walks away from her– idk about you guys, but I just really can’t see them going back to being together after this, bc firstly there’s been a betrayal of trust on both sides, and secondly, cmon, the dude knows he’s in love with Thony, and knows that it’s her that he really wants to be with, not Nadia. Tbh though this did all work out a bit differently than I expected; I absolutely assumed that Nadia would demand to know how he found out, and would then learn of how he’d used her. But now instead of both of them being pissed at each other, we have her feeling guilty and desperate for forgiveness, while also accepting that she may have caused the end of their relationship. Which is kind of true but also not really haha. I think the dooming of this ‘marriage’ was a mutual effort tbh lol

Ugh the combination of Hyper-competent Doctor Thony and Worried Mom Thony gets me every time. But man seriously can the universe just give her and Luca a break?? Like she said in 1x06, why does it always have to be so hard?? (Bc it makes for good TV drama, of course, haha). Loved the throwback to Dr Saroyan, who has probably been enjoying the last few weeks of respite from these very stressful clients haha. I kinda wish we’d get to see him again bc I miss him, but at the same time we don’t really need him as much bc Arman has a new personal doctor now :P 

Speaking of Arman, ughhhh at the fact that she’s clearly told him about Luca being sick again. Despite the uncomfortable way their last meeting ended, they’ve obviously been in contact, arranging the next med pickup and talking about Luca and still just being there for each other even when they’re kind of being pushed into being on different sides in regards to their situation with RK/Nadia etc. Tbh I just love this scene: the way he and Fi greet each other (from her expression, it looks like she has come to accept him and his place in Thony’s life and I’m so happy about it); the way he immediately asks after Luca; the simple sincerity and the eye contact with the “I wish I could help”/”You are” ughhh. (Bc the thing is, he’s not helping Luca directly; Thony and Dr Saroyan have that covered. But he’s supporting Thony, and that’s what she truly needs).  

Nooooooo Boscoooo my boy :’C I know the writers have been basically telling us this was coming since like 2x03 but I’m still sad!! I do love that in this scene, Thony’s first response was to start checking for survivors/people needing medical help, then she saw the truck and her focus shifted to the meds and what their absence meant for Luca (and also her and Arman). Which is very much her character– help anyone in need if she can, but her family’s needs take priority. Arman’s response was just as perfect– his first reaction was Protect Thony, by warning her to stay back and also scanning all around them for further threats, and only once things appeared safe did he even think to look for Bosco. But ugh I really didn’t want to have to see Arman lose another friend, especially another whose death he’s going to torture himself over ughh. I’m sad Bosco didn’t even get to say any last words either but at least he wasn’t alone when he died. Ugh my boy deserved better :( 

And then suddenly there’s magically appearing bikers (let’s ignore that their engines should have been audible way before they got that close, shall we? lol) and Armony running from bullets and stealing a bike and a high speed chase on a dirt road and honestly I didn’t need this kind of stress in my life haha. Also damnnn son I guess Arman is an amazing rider because do you know how hard it is to keep a bike steady at speed, on dirt, and with a passenger?? I do! It’s bloody hard! And kicking an object while riding without then causing yourself to crash is even harder lol. And don’t even get me started on that chain they broke through– like dude if that chain was attached at all to more than one side of the gate, riding into it would have clotheslined them both and sent them hurtling right onto the road in the path of that RV lol. Good thing it was apparently not attached and was just draped across the gap or something though… and like man I know it’s Vegas and all but that was a hell of a gamble lol

I am immensely satisfied that I accurately predicted exactly what Arman would do and say the moment they got off the bike haha, though lbr he IS kind of predictable when it comes to Thony and being worried for her safety. And okay I’m very glad they’re both uninjured (and look, shooting a target is hard at the best of times, so I understand them not being hit by bullets shot from a moving vehicle while they were also moving at speed), but I mean couldn’t Thony have gotten just a little bit shot? Like nothing serious, just a nasty graze across the shoulderblade or something? Just enough for Arman to freak out over and for her to have to take off her shirt for him to check it lol. But sigh, I guess I’ll just have to save that for fanfiction lol. Anyway though, you really gotta feel for Armony rn because they are really not having a good week lol

Ah, everyone’s least favourite sociopathic peacock is back. But how satisfying to see him get slapped right in the face haha (though lbr he probably likes that kind of thing?). Ngl though I almost enjoy how utterly pathetic he is when it comes to Nadia? Like with everyone else he’s self-assured, powerful, always at the advantage; but with her he’s a total simpering mess and I want her to crush him under her heel like a bug lol

Nope, not okay with hearing Thony just barely holding back tears over the phone with Dr Saroyan, and then trying so hard to keep things together as she explains the situation to Fi. She’s right about Luca never surviving the flight though ugh; I literally just did a course on the physiological stress of flight in critically ill patients and no way would he make it in his condition. Maybe on an official repatriation flight with a medical team accompanying him, but not as a deported immigrant on a commercial flight ugh. But anyway, I digress lol

And now Thony’s bad day is getting even worse as she has to go deal with RK’s shit lol. But oooh the burner phone is back! Given that later in the ep RK texts her on her other phone, I’m guessing that it’s Arman who texted her just then to let her know RK was back and that they have been summoned to see him– considering they show up to RK’s office together, it’s likely that Arman came to pick her up and take her there. And ugh that’s yet another moment between them I wish we could have seen, bc like did they talk about what they would say? Or the possibility that RK might hurt them as punishment?? I need to know lol. But ugh that moment when RK does snap and signal Joseph to kill Arman? (which tbh I don’t think he would have dared to do if Nadia hadn’t basically just told him she wanted nothing to do with him; bc previously it was only the fear of turning Nadia against him that kept him from killing Arman). Ngl I am obsessed with the way Arman clenches his jaw and stands straight, accepting his death like he has known ever since the prison that it was only a matter of time, that there would be no escaping it, not after everything that’s happened. But Thony will never accept that, will never stop fighting to protect him, and so she immediately moves closer to him, pleading on his behalf and getting herself even more deeply ensnared in RK’s web as she saves him ughhhhhhh

Ugh more DoctorMom Thony… I can’t deal with the way she looks at Luca before she walks out of the room. She knows that this may be a one way trip to the Philippines for her, but I guess she’s holding on to the thought that even if it is, she’ll be able to send the meds back and he’ll get better– and then eventually he may be well enough to fly back too and they can be reunited. (Well, if she doesn’t get murdered by RK, that is. Ugh). But at least in the meantime he will be safe with Fi– although dude “give him more morphine whenever he needs it” is an INCREDIBLY dangerous statement to say to someone who doesn’t have medical training haha. But I’m sure she wrote down some clearer instructions lol. Also aww at the fact that Fi has apparently been sending money back to her parents all this time, despite having such a challenging relationship with them and also having little money to spare?? I love her Your Honour

Seeing Arman and Thony pull up to the plane in the caddy reminded me that his motorbike is still back at Bosco’s camp ughhhhhh. Maybe he’ll be able to ride the other bike back and go get it? Though lbr the risk is probably not worth it. Ugh RIP you beautiful motorcycle I will miss you and all the Armony-embracing you created. Ngl the power couple in the caddy look is still hot though haha. As is the fact that Arman is dressed rather similarly to the last time these two took a private jet flight together, and then later slowdanced by firelight… got some subconscious hopes rising to the surface there buddy? Me too tbh lol. And then ugh RK shows up and completely ruins all our hopes, as usual. I love that both Arman and Thony tried to argue against Arman being left behind (“I need Arman to come with m–” yes you do need him ughhh). But then ugh when Arman realises that he has no way to fight this, that he has already been pushed out and deemed worthless, and as a result has no power to protect her anymore? And he just stares after her and she looks back at him for just a second and they’re both thinking, is this the last time we’ll ever see each other?

Boooo the ledger didn’t actually help?? So Arman went through that ‘reconciliation’ with Nadia for nothing? Great. Also ngl I am still stuck on my ‘Russo is indebted to Kamdar and under his influence’ theory. C’mon show, tell me what side she’s on, I need to knowwwwww

Of course RK chose the seat right across from Thony and is watching her sleep. Goddamn creep. Though tbh we all know that she is completely under his power rn and so there are far worse things he could be doing to her (things I’m sure Arman’s imagination is currently torturing him with), so I guess I should be glad that sexual violence does not seem to be one of RK’s proclivities. But ugh this flight is still so uncomfortable, especially the way she is forced to reveal her friend’s identity to him, knowing that it will put her at risk but having no choice. But holy shit the line “The chief of cardiology? That’s a lot to give up… the godlike power of saving lives, just to become a maid for criminals” is possibly one of the most powerful statements we’ve had in the show. And then her response: “My life became about saving one person’s life. My son.” Like wow, that really captures the entire essence of the show, doesn’t it? The lengths that a mother will go to for her child, the sacrifices she will make to save one person above all others. Though  tbhI would argue that the truth has shifted a little bit now– in S1, yes, her life was all about saving Luca. But since the end of S1 it has become about saving her family– Luca, Fi and the kids, and Arman. Thony says in 1x04 that she became a doctor to be like her father, who her mother always said was brave and risked his life for others. She clearly dedicated so much of her life to that goal, to being the best doctor she could be, to help all the many the people who needed her knowledge and abilities. But after Luca got sick, and after she reunited with Fi and saw the way she was struggling through life as a TNT, and after she met Arman and developed such a deep and unexpected connection with him, I think that all that determination and caring and protectiveness that had been spread across scores of cardiac patients instead focused itself intensely on just five people. Of course, she always helps whoever she can, but those five people are who her life is really about. And I think that RK actually respects that, respects that she is willing to do whatever it takes for the people she loves, even when it comes at a huge risk to herself. Tbh I think he’s found her quite intriguing for a while, ever since he’d learned that she was more than what she’d claimed at their first meeting, and since seeing the power she held (in different ways) over both Nadia and Arman. Let’s just hope that he stays intrigued enough to not have her murdered lol

Ooooh I have been hoping for AGES that Joseph is Filipino!! Honestly I always felt it was too much of a coincidence that RK’s right hand man– who we’ve seen RK abusing more than once– should just happen to be South East Asian. Like that casting has to be deliberate. And now he and Thony are kind of vibing?? Like yaaaaassss c’mon Joseph, turn on RK and take Thony’s side instead!

Aw Thony being welcomed by her friends is so sweet (and I love the very classic bilingual conversation), but oh mannnn it’s so uncomfortable to watch her trying to be normal and social all the while knowing that she’s there with a motive and that RK is outside and that so much is riding on her friends taking a huge risk for her ugh. When she escaped to the bathroom I just wanted to give her a hug ugh. Just like I wanted to give Arman a hug when he was suddenly faced with Isabel selling the club, kicking him when he’s already down, and god as much as I’m suffering rn I do love the way the show juxtaposed those two scenes, like it’s saying that even separated by thousands of miles, their pain is still shared. Ugh our babies really are going through it lol  

Nope nothing to say about this awful scene with Thony and her friends and her trying to beg for their help while suffering such a mortifying level of shame and guilt and ughhhh nope can’t deal with this at all. Although I feel like the drug he mentioned about hepatic damage might somehow become relevant later on? It seems Luca is copping every possible side effect or complication so who knows lol. But ugh when her friend gives her the name but then realises that Thony brought RK with her and basically exiles her for it ughhhh it hurts me. Especially because Thony has said before that many of hers and Marco’s friends stopped talking to them because he would borrow money and not pay it back– this woman may have been one of the only friends Thony had left from her life in Manila. And now she’s lost that too. 

Lol I like this bisexual lighting in La Habana– I’m gonna headcanon that Nadia chose that lol. It’s also really cool to hear that she was the one who made the place into a cigar lounge; between that and her influence on RK’s business, I’m definitely getting the sense that this woman should absolutely be running the show. But ugh when he says he’s not going to say goodbye to either her or the club, I honestly kind of liked it?? Because I want her and Arman to be able to stay in each other’s lives, just not in a romantic partnership, and tbh I think we are actually getting closer to achieving that with each episode? Because they’ve had their heated, angry breakup, they’ve had their unwilling (on his part at least) make-up, and then they’ve had the reveal that their marriage was never ‘real’ and all the painful emotional fallout that came as a result of that. And now they’ve made peace, have apologised to each other for the way things happened and how they hurt each other, but it’s definitely got a ‘forgive but don’t forget’ vibe to it, in that while they can absolve each other for what they’ve done, they’re not just going to pretend it never happened and go back to what they were. Bc in my mind, they’ve now reached a place where returning to the relationship they had– the marriage– is impossible, yet it is still possible for them to have a new relationship, one where they are partners of a different kind, two people who know and respect and trust each other and can work well together toward a common goal. And tbh we’ve all always noted even from early in S1 that they seemed to behave more like business partners than husband and wife, and now maybe they can have that, and can see that it fits them better than being married ever did. 

YEAAAHHHH BOOYYYYY “I’m gonna kill Kamdar. And you’re gonna help me.” Aaaaaaahhhhh you guys I have been WAITING for this and I am so excited. And you know what the absolute best part is???? The timing of this decision from Arman. He is suddenly filled with determination to kill RK, but that determination didn’t appear after RK forced him to commit murder, or after he found out RK caused his whole marriage to be a lie, or after RK literally almost had him shot dead in his office. Yes all of those things contributed to it, but it was truly cemented the moment RK flew away in the jet with Thony completely at his mercy, and Arman realised he no longer had the power to protect her.  Like yes I know that RK has made it clear that he no longer has use for him (and that therefore he may potentially have Arman killed at any moment) but honestly, I don’t think that “it’s either him or me” is Arman’s real reason. It’s an effective reason to give Nadia, because if forced to choose, she would absolutely choose Arman; but I really don’t think Arman truly cares about the possibility of his death. Like in 2x07 he literally told RK that he wasn’t going to follow his orders to kill Maya, and to just kill him instead; and it was only when Thony’s life was threatened that he gave in. Even earlier in this ep when Joseph nearly shot him, he didn’t do a thing to try to stop it happening. Honestly I think that he believes that he deserves it; I think he’s now convinced that he only brings death and destruction and pain to those around him– Matteo, Carlos, Hayak, Maya, Bosco (and that’s not even counting the people he killed for Hayak)– and that by dying he would be paying penance for them, but also protecting Thony and Nadia from suffering the same fate. And so that’s why he is suddenly so desperate to kill Kamdar: because of Thony and Nadia. Because that moment at the hangar made it clear to him that unless he takes out RK permanently, neither woman will ever be able to get free of RK’s grip, and will always be in danger from him. Which means now he knows that he needs to act fast, to kill RK before RK can kill him, because if he dies before RK then there’s no one left to protect his family– the two women he loves. 

Also, can I just say that I called it about the fact that if RK dies, Nadia– as his still-legal wife– is likely his main beneficiary, and so she would inherit his entire kingdom? Like ngl I could see some potential issues there, like the fact that if he died, the FBI would probably be pretty interested to investigate exactly what happened, and would most definitely tie up all his assets rather than releasing them to the estranged wife that had very suspiciously just made a very recent return into his life, and whose second ‘husband’ is a known enemy of RK’s lol. But who cares about logic and legalities, right? And tbh it was a very smart move of Arman to appeal to Nadia’s greed and ambition by reminding her that she could become queen of it all, and could finally have what she has worked so hard to earn. There’s a look of almost disgust on his face as he says it, which may be because he’s acknowledging that Nadia is RK’s wife, not his, but tbh I read it as also being disgust at a) manipulating her again, and b) the fact that money and status and power mean so much to her. If the situation were switched and it was Thony in her position, Thony wouldn’t care at all about what she might inherit from RK; she’d only care about keeping Arman safe. But to be clear, this is not a judgement of Nadia! Her greed and covetousness are actually really interesting character traits and they make her more nuanced and real, and tbh I can totally understand why someone who came from nothing (and who worked hard for everything she had and yet still lost it all, while watching others get richer and richer without ever working for it, purely because they were born into privilege) would be drawn to the idea of doing one ‘bad thing’ to get to have everything she feels she deserves.

Ugh at Thony keeping her promise to Fi and going to Fi’s parents’ house to leave the money she gave her. I’m glad she didn’t have to go meet with them– she could have stopped them when she saw them leaving, but she chose not to (in fact it seemed like she was waiting for them to leave), and she clearly knew where the spare key was kept (she may have had her own copy when she lived in Manila, but lbr she wouldn’t have taken her copy of the key to the US with her). Also the envelope Fi gave her was white, and she puts that on the counter first, but then she also takes out a thick, fresh stack of cash, and a yellow envelope– and tbh I think the cash and yellow envelope are from her. @enigmaticfox said, and I agree, that this moment feels very much like a goodbye; a goodbye to her former parents-in-law– the only parents she has had for years– and to her connection to the Philippines. Her work life there ended 5 years ago with Luca’s diagnosis, and her friends were lost one by one over the years due to Marco using them, with the last finally lost on this trip due to Thony using them; and then with the loss of Marco and the fallout from his death, the family ties she had to this place are gone now too. She says it herself when she gets back on the plane– “The Philippines are not my home anymore.” And it’s true. Her home, her life, everyone she loves– they’re all in Vegas. 

Oh Russo what the actual fuck were you thinking? Kissing Garrett at any time is an incredibly terrible decision for many reasons, but kissing him at work only days after he lost someone he loved?? Someone whose picture he was literally just staring mournfully at as you walked in the door?? Like woman I have so many questions about your sanity haha. (Also about your loyalties. Seriously tell me, does Kamdar have you under his thumb???)

Damn Thony’s outfits for this trip have been so good. She looks so effortlessly elegant and sophisticated, and while I love that as a character she’s clearly not at all vain and will normally just wear the same simple clothes repeatedly, it is nice to see a little variety being included– tbh I feel that her tiny wardrobe was a symbol that her time in Vegas was only temporary and that she didn’t  ‘belong’ there, so the more clothes that get added to the mix, the more it feels like she is putting down roots and really claiming Vegas as her home. Of course she doesn’t have a lot of closet space rn so she can’t go too wild with the wardrobe lol, but I hope it does get at least a little bigger by the end of the season. Anyway phew at RK basically pulling the rich-people equivalent of a jedi mind trick (aka bribery) on the customs guy lol; money really does open all doors huh

Okay so either RK is even more of a ridiculous simp for Nadia than I previously thought, and is completely fooled by her (let’s face it, rather terrible) acting lol, or he knows she’s deliberately trying to manipulate him into buying La Habana but doesn’t care and is happy to give her what she wants anyway, because it will get him what he wants– Nadia’s affection and gratitude. Tbh I hope it’s the first option because that’s just so much funnier. But either way, now that he’s the owner of La Habana, she can just “what’s yours is mine” her way into being the next owner upon his untimely demise haha. Work smarter not harder ladies!

Why do I feel a sense of foreboding hearing Luca say “mommy I don’t want you to go”? Bc like she literally just came back? Maybe he means he doesn’t want her to go away again? And ok even though I know nothing will happen to her (she’s the main character after all, and this show is no Game of Thrones lol), it makes me afraid of foreshadowing lol. But ugh when she tells Fi that the meds will fix Luca and Fi says “well, then whatever you went through over there, it was worth it”– yet another line that has really captured the heart of this show. Whatever Thony goes through, no matter how bad, it’s worth it to her as long as Luca (and her family) are okay. She will bear any pain, any burden, as long as it keeps them safe and healthy and happy. Which is why she will keep working with RK, bc even though she knows that he’s so unpredictable and mercurial that just being in his vicinity is a danger in itself; she’s willing to take that risk as long as he can supply the meds that keep Luca healthy. Which means that the situation between her and Arman is about to get a little complicated lol, because right now she needs RK, and Arman needs him gone. Bc just like her, Arman will do anything to protect the people he loves– and for him, that means protecting her from RK by eliminating him before he can hurt her. It’s the best kind of conflict imo, because it’s one person saying to the other “I love you enough to do what needs to be done to save you, even if it makes you hate me”. Of course, Arman doesn’t want to endanger Luca by taking away his access to the meds, but in his mind, RK is a far more immediate threat to Thony’s safety than the short supply of meds is to Luca’s wellbeing, and so he probably figures that once RK is eliminated he can then use RK's funds and connections (via Nadia) to get Luca all the meds he will ever need.

But the real question now is whether he will tell Thony what he’s planning to do to Kamdar??? I honestly can’t decide, because on one hand, keeping her in the dark would protect her (plausible deniability, etc etc) and that definitely seems like something he would do– plus, in terms of storytelling, it would create some delicious angst because Thony would see Arman suddenly shutting her out and instead spending most of his time with Nadia, and she would assume it means that Arman has now definitively made his choice regarding who he wants to be with, and so she would then endure their every following interaction with the quiet suffering of a secretly broken heart ugh. (God I would LOVE to see that, because the eventual reveal of the truth– that he loves her, has loved her the whole time and has only been trying to keep her safe– would be glorious). However, if on the other hand he tells her what he’s planning, and she tells him not to do it because she needs RK (also bc she doesn’t want him to get caught for RK’s murder, of course) then there’s a different kind of delicious angst where they both know how they feel about one another but they’re stuck on opposing sides regardless, due to external factors outside of their control. Which tbh would also be glorious. So basically, whatever happens next will be a freakin delight lol. And ok I know there’s a lot of fans who are unhappy about Armony being potentially pitted against each other while Arman teams up with Nadia, but I honestly cannot wait, because the truth is that any conflict between these two now will just make it all the sweeter when they eventually– and inevitably– finally give in to their feelings and accept that everything they’ve done, they’ve done for each other, and that there’s nothing they want more than to be together.

Oh no. The gun. Lbr, RK absolutely just had it planted in order to get Arman out of the way now that he thinks he’s got a chance with Nadia again– gotta remove the competition, y’know? lol. Though I definitely do take issue with the fact that he dared to plant for the FBI to find, considering that in 2x07 he himself touched it with his bare hands before Arman did, and that seems like a risk he would never take, but whatever. Plot hole maybe. But anyhow aaaaahhh now Garrett (and ofc Russo/the FBI) know about Arman, and I can’t WAIT to see what he does about it. Tbh my ideal headcanon would be that he immediately goes to arrest Arman, and Arman argues that if he’s already going to be going down for murder, why don’t they make it count– and so convinces Garrett to give him a couple of days to kill Kamdar (thus making him truly pay for what he did to Maya) before he takes him in. It would be fascinating to see Garrett agree to that, clearly venturing more into the moral grey zone, and also to see these two nemeses teaming up in that way. Especially if part of their agreement is that Thony is kept completely out of it so she won’t go down with Arman, because neither of them wants anything to happen to her. Ngl, I’ve already drafted the fic haha, and I’m sure I’ll get around to posting it one day– but in the meantime, I’m so goddamn excited to see what the show gives us over these next few episodes ugh. Honestly I am living the fangirl dream here kids and I hope you guys are too lol

I keep thinking back to Thony’s comment in 2x08, "We have to be done with this guy", and the improbability of that happening if it hinged on only helping Garrett take down Kamdar.

Do they genuinely believe that Kamdar’s arrest would be the end of it? Or are they merely delaying the inevitable of being found out about their part in Maya’s death?

Kamdar’s arrest alone is not going to guarantee that their part in Maya’s death would remain buried. If anything, Kamdar is wily enough, rich enough to wriggle out of it and pin it on Arman (I'm thinking also that if for some reason the FBI decided to pick up Joseph, he could spill the beans on Armony). There’s just way too many variables, and only Kamdar’s death will get Arman and Thony out of it, and I am absolutely sanguine at the prospect of Thony effecting it.

Also, I'm probably one of three people in fandom who's actually enjoyed what the writers are doing with Garrett this season, and especially the Thony/ Arman/ Garrett dynamic. While I would love for all of them to be on the same side, a bonus of Thony killing Kamdar would be Garrett never finding out -- perhaps having a hunch, but not the proof -- about their part in Maya’s killing.

Do you think kamdar story will wrap up at the end of season 2 like Haykes story?

Oh yeah, I for sure think he's going to be over and done with (one way or another) by the end of the season.

Personally, my dream is that the season will end with Thony having to kill him to protect her family/Arman, because holy hell would it be fascinating to watch Thony 'I took an oath' De La Rosa come to terms with having deliberately taken a life, even that of a monster like Robert. And lbr Garrett would probably even be on board to help her to cover it up, and of course Arman would be right there beside her every step of the way, comforting her and supporting her and being even more in love with her than ever lol

And if Nadia then gets to inherit Robert's empire (especially as his possibly-still-legal-wife???) then all the better lol

TCL 2x08 recap

Well, I guess it’s not surprising that I broke my record with this one lol. Honestly this episode made me suffer so goddamn much and I loved every single minute of it. 

So in honour of the hiatus this week, have this very belated monster instead lol

Like seriously, you already know you’re ~In For It~ when the ep opens with Thony watching her baby boy sleep like she’s been sitting there practically all night ugh.  And then her hurriedly packing a bag with enough clothes to last at least a week or more and not even waiting for the rest of the household to wake up before getting Fi to get them out of there?? God you just know she spent the whole night thinking about the danger she’d put them in, and all the choices she’d made, and now she’s doing what Thony does and Trying To Fix Everything Herself. At least she finally tells Fi a tiny bit more about what’s going on with Garrett and the FBI though (sidenote: I find it really cute to imagine the conversation last night where the family is all ready to go to bed and Garrett is just like ‘oh don’t mind me, I’m just gonna hang here on your couch for a couple hours… any chance you have an iphone charger?’ lol). But ugh I love Fi’s “If we go, we go together” to Thony bc firstly these two and their sisterhood gets me every time, but also it’s reminiscent of Arman’s “We’ll do it together” from 2x07, and now I’m emotional thinking about the fact that for years Thony could only truly rely on herself, and now she is surrounded by people who love her, who want to help carry her burdens with her and who would do anything for her. Plus the whole “Oh so this is about him?” / “No, it’s about you! It’s about our family” exchange is so goddamn amazing because the truth is that it’s both– Fi and the kids are her family, but now Arman is her family too, and she is doing whatever she can to protect them all ughhhhhh

Ugh Chris and Fi continually have such incredible scenes together. I love their dynamic, the conflict and the support and the way that they’re still always a team. There’s such a well done mix of parent-child dynamic (like her reassuring him when he started to freak out that the cops had come back), and a kind-of-team-mates situation (him helping get the kids ready to go to JD’s, etc), which makes a lot of sense for an oldest child and a single parent. Chris has shown before that while he’s definitely a moody teenager lol, when it comes down to it, he really does take that ‘man of the house’ role seriously and if Fi’s biggest protector– like when he got in between her and Marco and defended her when Marco was yelling at her in like 1x09 or whenever that was. Which is probably partly why he ended up going to the police station too, because he couldn’t face her being punished in order to protect him when his whole job (as he sees it) is protecting her. 

Honestly this show just loves stomping on my heart– Thony’s face as she says goodbye to Luca just kills me, because it just takes me back to 1x06 and “I just want to hold Luca without thinking it’s going to be the last time, you know?” ughhhh.  Back then it was Luca who could be taken from her at any moment, and while tbh that still remains a possibility (whether from rejection of the liver, or one of Kamdar’s men coming after him), now the fear is more that she might be taken from him, that she won’t live to see Luca and the others come home. And god the shot of her standing there alone as they drive away, not even able to force a smile and a wave as they go?? I already feel personally attacked by this episode and we’ve literally only just gotten to the title credits ugh

Ok as much as I hate female characters being killed off to further the development of a male character, I do kind of look forward to seeing what happens with Garrett as a result of all this. Also oooh his suggestion of a mole is interesting– hopefully not Jefferson though, bc he’s cute and I like him haha. I think Garrett might be grasping a bit at the mole idea because if that’s not the case, then he’d have to face the idea that maybe it was him that messed up and left her vulnerable somehow. Also lol getting Kamdar on profiteering is so Al Capone; he’d probably love the idea of following in such famous footsteps. He’d have his lawyers get him off immediately though, bc lbr he can afford the best. But damn Russo’s “[these men are] never the ones pulling the trigger”-- don’t we know that all too well ugh

Of course Thony is doing housework lol– I’m going to take that as a subtle throwback to 1x01, when she was frantically cleaning the kitchen after Theo’s murder and Fi said that she does this when she’s spinning out. Bc though she looks outwardly calm rn, I definitely think she is spinning out, especially with the way she freezes at the knock on the door. But ugh the way she practically slumps in relief at Arman’s voice just gets to me; she’s there alone, spending every moment in fear of someone coming to hurt or kill her, and then the one person she feels safest around– who has literally proven (twice!) that he’d kill for her– turns up instead. (I’m not crying, you’re crying). Though I’m guessing she was expecting him– from the way they talk about meeting with Garrett, it sounds like they’ve been in communication between last night and now; plus, given that Fi took the van, Thony has no transport to get to any meeting location. But ugh the way he only ventures a few steps into the laundry– far enough that he gets a small glimpse of the rooms beyond, but still not really entering her home, because he has no idea whether he would be welcome in that space or not. And when he sees the neatly made bed that is clearly Luca’s, and hears the kind of eerie silence that never exists in a house full of kids, he knows what she’s given up because of him. I love his “you should have gone with them”– telling her that she doesn’t need to see herself as trapped like he is, and that he wouldn’t blame her if she left, even if it caused Kamdar to retaliate against him. Her safety is what matters to him more than anything else. And then omg when he says he’s going to stay with her (Is anyone else hearing faint strains of ‘Someone To Watch Over Me’ playing in the distance or is that just me??), and she just nods???? (never mind me, I’ll just be over here screaming into a pillow for a few minutes at the idea of them staying there alone together aaaahhh). But also oh man I am obsessed with the fact that the old Thony would have said that she was fine, that she was handling things and she could manage on her own. But now she has learned to trust him, and to let herself rely on him to be there for her. She knows that she’d be safer with him there, and she also knows that he doesn’t have a place of his own at the moment– but above all that, she just wants him there. She needs him, and she’s still hurting for the both of them about what happened last night– you can see it in the way her eyes are less able to hold his, and hear it in “I keep playing it in my mind… what he made you do…” ughhhh.  I love her line “maybe we could have done something different” because I could see him instinctively taking that to mean she wished that he had found another way, had made another choice rather than shooting Maya; but she’s actually wishing they’d been able to do something that would have prevented Robert ever using him in that way, would have prevented that pain and burden being put on him. Like I definitely think she is struggling a lot with Maya’s death, but when it plays over in her mind, I don’t think it’s Maya that she’s focused on. I think it’s Arman’s face that she keeps seeing, the panic and then the pain as he realises what he’s going to have to do, and the devastation afterwards, his tears in the car still haunting her. Honestly even though this show hasn’t given us a Thony-crying-in-the-shower scene since the pilot (which is both a good thing and a tragedy, honestly lol), I’m absolutely certain she sobbed in the shower last night after taking off that red dress. Crying for Maya, for Garrett, for herself; but above all, for Arman.

And now, standing here with him in the laundry, she seems like she’s trying not to cry again, her voice all low and her body tense, and it’s only a minute before he cracks and has to reach for her; he’s clearly been holding himself back from her but he just can’t anymore. But ugh the gentleness of the way he touches her arms– instead of just pulling her into an embrace, he basically asks permission to hold her, giving her the chance to either step back and maintain her space, or to lean into his support. And though she hesitates for the tiniest moment– which I’m interpreting as her being afraid to hold him because she feels that if she does, she might not be able to bring herself to let go– she soon gives in and just lets herself have this, lets herself lean into him and wrap her arms around him. Tbh I wasn’t sure at first if her arms were still kind of between them, but after many rewatches I’m convinced she’s definitely holding onto him– and plus I stg there is a sound right before she sighs, like movement against fabric, and I choose to believe the sound mixer person put it in there as the sound of her arms wrapping around him under his jacket lol. And then oh god the sigh. The way she closes her eyes and lets out that breath, lets herself have just those couple of seconds to forget everything else and just be held by him?? Help??

Except ugh that’s all she allows herself– after that one brief moment, her eyes open again and her jaw clenches, and she bites her lip and holds on just that little bit tighter before she forces herself to move back and away, getting them both back on task. And he lets her go immediately– the whole time through the hug he kept his grip light, giving her the control, and honestly the hint of reserve in the way they hold each other makes perfect sense. For him, it’s about not wanting to push her; for her, it’s about protecting herself. She may trust him completely, and be able to rely on him for anything, but she’s careful with her heart, and he’s still married. He’d never deliberately string her along or hurt her, of course, but his situation is still complicated and she doesn’t know what is going to happen. What she does know, though, is that she loves him, and that this might be all she ever gets to have of him. 

God it is such a blessing that the caddy is so recognisable (and probably very inefficient in terms of gas lol), because it means that the bike is the go-to choice for transport these days, and I am so supportive of this lol. Not only is it hot, but I am definitely into all the semi-embracing involved haha. Like what’s the bet Thony actually holds him closer than she needs to on the ride, sinking into him in the way she couldn’t allow herself during their hug? And ugh they look like such a sexy matching pair with their jackets (ngl I saw a jacket the other day that looked a fair bit like the one she wears in this ep, and I ended up buying it lol), which just further highlights their partnership as they face off against Garrett. But oh boy, this is awkward: “now we’re going to take Kamdar down for murder. Him, and whoever pulled the trigger [...] I’m going to make sure every one of those bastards rots behind bars” and lol well if they were planning on trying to tell you the truth before, Garrett, they sure ain’t now.  And ugh the way Thony stands up to him and says that they can’t help him catch Maya’s killer, and Arman immediately looks at her– possibly wondering if she’s about to tell the truth, but trusting her enough not to try to stop her if she is– and then instead she protects him, using logic to explain to Garrett why they can’t help, yet still lying to him just like she’d said she didn’t want to do. Honestly I love so much that even despite her reluctant regard for Garrett, and the way she feels indebted to him for the ways he’s helped her family (though lbr that’s got to be tempered by the ways in which he has previously also hurt her and her family), there’s no question about which side she’s on. Even from the start, her loyalty to Arman outweighed Garrett’s threats and the power of the law behind him, and though she wants them all to be on the same side, she will protect Arman to the end, even if it means completely betraying Garrett and screwing him over. Still, she and Arman are caught between a rock and a hard place rn, trapped by both Kamdar and by Garrett. But if they can take down one, they can be free of the other, so they agree to set up the meet to trap Kamdar. I love that when he brings out the listening devices (sidenote: they’re cool and I’d probably choose the USB or the necklace lol) Arman immediately refuses to let Garrett put her at risk by making her wear one, while Garrett tries to push her into it by using her family as an argument– and I could have easily seen that escalating into a conflict between the two men but Thony just calmly uses logic again and tells Garrett about Kamdar always checking for wires. And ughhhhh that means that this is yet another moment where the writers could have given me the gift of the Robert-making-her-undress reveal but didn’t! Goddammit haha. Anyway to Garret’s credit, he does actually listen to her most of the time, which is why I can’t help but have a certain fondness for him haha. But ugh I’m forever obsessed with all the little glances between Thony and Arman in this scene, the silent conversation happening that Garrett is not a part of– this is some legit married behaviour lol

Okay I’m like unreasonably delighted by the fact that Thony brings Arman in through the front door this time? Like look it could have purely been due to filming factors (ie, having the whole thing shot in the kitchen/lounge area saves having to film them walking through the laundry first), but still. The symbolismmmmm. @enigmaticfox has already made this amazing post about it (seriously go read it) and like she said, there’s something so impactful about the way Thony opens the door wide and grants him access (get your mind out of the gutter Laura), and then when he hovers in the kitchen– looking to her for direction, not wanting to overstep his bounds– she instantly invites him further into her space, the place that is her home and her sanctuary. I love that she takes her shoes off– part habit, of course, but also a sign of feeling comfortable and secure– while he leaves his on. Which is also likely partly habit, since leaving shoes on in the house is common in the US, and also when a guest in another’s home in Mexico. But I also think he is half-expecting to be dismissed at any moment, and so taking off his shoes would feel kind of presumptuous, like it would be sending a message that he’s now here to stay regardless of what she wants. And ugh the way his eyes move around the space, taking it all in, and then focus over in the direction of Luca’s room– while he doesn’t look directly at her bed, I’m choosing to believe he clocked it and realised that that area is her ‘bedroom’, and so despite his intense curiosity about this aspect of her life that he hasn’t yet seen, he respectfully keeps his gaze away, letting her have her privacy. And then ugh I could even get all metaphorical about the way he sits on a single chair while she sits on a couch (aka, furniture which is designed to be shared by multiple people) and also with one of Luca’s toys right next to her– her family isn’t there, but they’re there, always beside her; meanwhile he's alone, visibly separate– except that with her body language, she bridges that gap between them. And don’t even get me started on the way she crosses her legs up under her, much like she does when around her family– like with her taking the shoes off, this is another sign of how safe she feels with him, basically the human equivalent of how a cat will only sleep with its paws tucked under its body when it's around people it trusts. You don’t sit like that if you feel there is any chance you need to escape the situation or protect yourself; it's purely the way our instincts are wired. But ugh anyway of course his first question is to ask her if she’s okay– he knows her, can see she’s struggling just from the look on her face, from the way her eyes are mostly fixed elsewhere rather than meeting his; and all he wants to do is try to ease that burden. I think that being in her space– what is so clearly a family home, but now completely devoid of that family– has really highlighted to him what helping him has cost her, what it could cost her if they don’t get this situation with Kamdar and the FBI resolved as soon as possible; he suddenly feels he’s done nothing but drag her into danger and pain and emotional turmoil, and you can hear in his voice that when he says “then you can get back to your family and forget about all this” he also means forget about me. And then when her response to that is to look him in the eye and tell him “We have to be done with this guy”, you can see how it affects him– there's something so soft and grateful in the way he looks at her ugh, knowing that even after everything she’s been through because of him, she still hasn’t abandoned him; that they’re still in this together. 

So I’ve decided that Agent Chan is one of my favorite side characters lol. She was there during the hotel raid in 1x10 as well, right? Though ugh her not-super-subtly pointing the mic and talking into her earpiece is making me stressed lol. As is the fact that Armony literally cannot control what Kamdar will say– god how terrifying to walk into that situation, knowing that they’re being listened to by the literal FBI, and knowing that Kamdar is exactly the kind of man who loves both the sound of his own voice and gloating over other people's misfortunes? Honestly it’d be a miracle if they managed to pull this off without him saying something that tipped off the FBI about their involvement with Maya’s death. (Also sidenote, but something I love about this show is that we repeatedly see cleaning ladies? Like I mean this one that’s just walked past Armony may turn out to be plot-relevant, but we also see them when they have no bearing on the plot at all– like at Cortes’ place, and in La Habana, etc. I like to think that the show is reminding us that these women are always there, and they are not invisible). Anyways I swear that Joseph has never checked either of them at the door like this before, but sure I’ll just roll with it haha.  And then oooooh damn who do we find in the office? Not Kamdar, but Nadia. I have questions about this, because firstly Arman said they’d ‘set up a meet with Kamdar’– so did they actually contact anyone to say they were coming? Or did they just rock up? Because if they’d contacted Joseph or whatever, then surely they should have known Kamdar was out of town. Unless Arman contacted Kamdar directly and the devious prick just thought it would be funny to have him be faced with Nadia instead when he got there? Which tbh would be consistent with his character, and would also answer my next question, which is when the hell Kamdar put Nadia in charge, considering that last night at the party she seemed very out of the loop. So ok headcanon time: Arman messaged Kamdar to make a time for the meet in the afternoon, and RK (I’m getting sick of typing Robert or Kamdar lol) decided to have a little fun, and immediately called Nadia and told her he wanted her to run things while he was away. It’s genius, really; he gets to score points with Nadia by showing her he trusts and values her, and he gets to set up Arman to most likely have another fight with Nadia while also not getting his cut for the deal. Win-win for RK lol.

Anyway I do like that Thony was the one to suggest aborting mission first; though lbr that was likely mostly because the whole point is to get RK, but at the same time I think she wants to leave Nadia out of things if she can. (another sidenote: I find it very satisfying that Garrett believes Thony and Arman had no idea about Nadia’s connection to RK lol– oh Garrett, you sure miss a lot, don’t you buddy). But ooooh then Nadia insists that she’s RK’s right hand, and so they can deal with her– and tbh I think that that pisses Thony off big time, because Nadia’s supposed to be Arman’s wife, and yet she chooses to ally herself with the man who is trying to destroy him?? I think that that is the moment when she decides that she can’t keep going out of her way to try to protect Nadia, especially since doing so potentially endangers herself, Arman, and her family. Both she and Nadia have chosen their sides, and so now it's just a matter of bahala na– whatever happens, happens. Of course Arman can’t see it like that, and simply has to protect Nadia; partly because she’s family, but also because he’s already betrayed her once by falling in love with Thony, and can’t face the idea of betraying her in this way too. And while Thony understands his need to protect her, I can see her being frustrated about it, especially given her temper– like is he really going to put protecting Nadia above potentially saving the rest of them??? 

Okay the fam all rocking up at JD’s and being welcomed so warmly is just so cute ugh. I just love them?? And then ugh J-Fi being all cute in the kitchen (while putting away the biggest slices of pizza the world has ever seen??) and Jazz watching them is just so funny– I know, girl, I ship it too. Although apparently JD’s gf is called Laura so maybe I should ship that instead, out of solidarity to a fellow bearer of the name lol. (Ngl, I would date this man in a heartbeat haha). But ugh this height difference kills me, and so does their comfort together ugh. He’s sweet and kind and he makes her laugh, and he loves her family like they’re his own (bc they are). So please pleaaaaase writers let them be together ughhhhh

Ooooh Garrett is Big Mad about Arman sabotaging the sting, and lbr Thony’s not delighted about it either. But ugh the way she looks at him every time he says ‘my wife’ and defends Nadia so vehemently? You can see how much it hurts her, each time a sharp reminder that he’s not hers–  she used to have better armour to protect her from that reality, but the more time she’s spent with him, the thinner it’s gotten, and now every reminder pierces straight through. And yet even despite that, she still comes up with a way to get RK without endangering Nadia– but she doesn’t do it for Nadia’s sake. She does it for him, and then when she realises that there’s no way to make the plan work without him taking back his place in Nadia’s life– and all that that entails– she does what she has to do and lets him go, even though it means breaking her own heart. (I’m fine, I’m not crying, shut up). But god this scene was so fucking LOUD with things unsaid; for example, when Arman says he can’t get the keycard bc of being kicked out, the natural response from an outsider, ie Garrett, would be ‘well just kiss and make up then??’ because of course the expectation is that as the dumped party, he would be wanting to fix things and get back together. And then there’s the way Thony suggests it– the “well maybe you should reconcile” where she almost manages to hide the unwillingness with which she says it (it’s the tone and the maybe that gets me, bc someone who was emotionally unaffected in this situation just wouldn’t sound like that). And then to immediately follow that suggestion– that very reasonable suggestion of a man making up with his wife after a big fight, aka something that most people would presume he wants and is already actively trying to do– with the statement “It’s the only way we can protect our families”?  Like honestly they’re both acting as if she’s sending him to the gallows rather than back to the life he was living literally less than a week ago, which is not at all a normal way to behave in this conversation– that is, unless you’re sacrificing the very thing you want most, and telling the man you love to go back to his wife even though it means the two of you can never be together. Because like I said in this ask, it would be a real dick move for Arman to go profess love and devotion to Nadia, and then drop her again the moment he got what he wanted from her– and so if he is going to go ahead with this reconciliation, he has to be all in; he has to commit to making his marriage work, because both he and Thony have too much honour to do otherwise. Which means that getting the keycard for Thony will basically be his parting gift to her, and they both know it; it’s in his quiet ‘alright’ and his grave expression, and it’s in the way she looks at him like the words I don’t want you to do this are screaming inside her head. Which, honestly, is a huge fucking deal in itself; even if she’s not admitting anything aloud, she’s still letting him see what she previously would have done her best to hide, and I can’t help but feel that that– the truth written all over her face, the silent admission that this was never just a one-sided thing– is her parting gift to him.

Meanwhile Garrett is just over here seeing all this intense eye contact and mutual angsting and is all like ‘Seriously guys? Right in front of my salad??” lolll. Like honestly, if he didn’t know they were in love with each other before, he sure as hell does now. Though unless he really is an absolutely terrible FBI agent, he’d no doubt have already had some fairly major suspicions based on… well, everything these two have done since they met lol. And I mean the way he looked right at Thony when Arman said Nadia had kicked him out of the house suggested he has a pretty clear idea of what’s up haha. But ugh okay headcanon time: Thony can’t face the idea of the long ride back home with her arms wrapped around Arman– possibly holding him for literally the last time– or the conversation that he might try to have when they get to the house (she’s holding things together right now, but there’s no knowing how long that will last, especially if she has to Talk about it), so she asks Garrett to give her a ride back, saying something about how they don’t have much time so Arman needs to go and start working on the keycard (read: on Nadia) right away. And Garrett looks between the two of them and then is all ‘right, sure, yeah’ and so she just turns and heads straight for the car, and Arman immediately takes a step as if to follow her and reach for her arm, but then he stops and clenches his jaw and turns back to the bike without a word, his movements jerky and rough as he shoves on the helmet and then roars out of there, leaving Garrett standing in a cloud of dust. And Garrett just sighs and shakes his head, then walks around to get into the car. Thony’s staring out the window and he can see the muscle working in her jaw, so he just starts the car without a word, and neither of them say a thing until they reach her house and she starts to get out. “Hey, Thony,” he says quietly, and when she half-glances in his direction, he adds, “I’m sorry.” Because even though he thinks she’s definitely better off being as far from Arman as possible, he knows a little about having a broken heart. She tells him that Kamdar needs to go down for everything he’s done to them, and Garrett promises her that he will. Then she nods and climbs from the car, and he watches as she disappears into the house alone. 

But ugh anyway. I appreciate the symbolism of Arman ringing the doorbell rather than letting himself into the house; it’s not his space anymore, and he doesn’t have a right to be in there without her permission. (And maybe he knows she’ll be more receptive to him if he’s seen as being especially respectful of her boundaries, who knows). Ngl the ‘what the fuck bro’ look she gives him when she sees him standing there is actually kinda funny though. But ok I really want to know how long has passed since they saw each other in the office– probably no more than a few hours, right? Bc I assume Garrett wanted to meet with Thony and Arman pretty much right away after the sting went bust, and I assume Arman went right to the house when he left the meet, so it can’t have been super long? Though tbh I would love if Arman didn’t go straight to the house, and (headcanon time lol) instead took a different road back to the city and ended up stopping by some ravine somewhere, tossing his helmet away from him with a roar of frustration before violently hurling rock after rock over the edge, until he finally slumps back onto the bike, both physically and emotionally exhausted. And then he still doesn’t go to Nadia, but instead rides straight to Thony’s place, sitting there behind the back fence for who knows how long before finally letting out a curse and taking off for ‘home’. But ugh anyway my point (before the headcanoning lol) was that I respect how quickly Nadia went from that sleek sparkly blue number in the office, to her (very cute) around-the-house wear lol. I guess she was upset by the altercation in the office and headed home soon after? Also I love that despite literally being on a mission to woo Nadia back, the first thing he does is order her to stay away from Robert. Like bro are you trying to suck at this? But then ugh when she tells him to leave her alone and go back to taking care of ‘Thony and her kid’– and I wonder if she wishes now that they’d had a child together, so he would have had more reason to stay, since it clearly seems that she alone isn’t enough? Loved that she repeated the ‘there is no us’ and says that he made his choice– but tbh, part of the whole problem is that he hasn’t made his choice? He’s been actively avoiding it this whole time, because while he knows he’s in love with Thony and wants to be with her and would do anything for her, he still loves Nadia as his family, and doesn’t want to just completely abandon her. Especially considering the fact that if she came over from Argentina with RK all those years ago, she likely has no family in Vegas; Thony at least has her little family unit around her, but Nadia has no-one but him. Well, him and RK– and as he says, she’s not safe with RK. Loved getting that bit of backstory that she’d left RK because of being afraid of him (honestly though I am SO curious how one gets away from a man like that and stays in the same city without him trying to drag her back in; unless getting married to a guy who had the protection of a major crime family had something to do with that….?).

Anyway I'm also loving that this scene is proving some of my theories right about Nadia thinking she can control Robert, and also wanting to be around him because he values her. And then she tells Arman to go, and he pauses, clearly trying to find the right thing to say, and settles on the truth, that he’s worried about her. But she’s not interested in hearing it, because she knows that that’s not the issue here. And ugh the shininess to her eyes as she asks him if he loves Thony just hurts me. I hate seeing the pain she’s experiencing because of the two of them and the connection they share– one that they ever intended on, but never stood a chance against, but still. It sucks. I love that even as he made himself lie and say no, it comes out as barely more than a whisper, rather than a firm denial; and then he can’t just leave it there, because on one hand, the lie feels too much of a betrayal of Thony, and on the other, he can see that Nadia doesn’t believe him anyway. But he can’t tell the truth either, because if he were to let that yes out there, she would never take him back; she has too much pride to knowingly be with someone who's in love with someone else. So he settles for the middle ground, because he knows that framing his feelings for Thony as unclear and uncertain and confusing is something Nadia could accept, especially when he says with all honesty that he loves her.  Because he does! She’s his family, has been practically the only family he’s had for years, and he wants them both to always be in each other’s lives. But he hasn’t been happy as her husband for quite some time, and Thony’s appearance in his life just made him able to understand why.

But anyway hooooo boy I do have to say that was some impressive kissing haha– ngl on my first watch I practically had to watch this scene through my fingers, but I’ve built up a bit of a tolerance now lol. And ok I don’t know how much of it was deliberate manipulation, but I did like the way he was very respectful with her, going slow and not pushing, letting her decide if she would let him kiss her or not. And damn when a man can kiss like that, who could blame her for letting him??? 

Gotta say I don’t think I have ever seen a show have scene transitions so goddamn rude as going from Arman seducing Nadia on a goddamn countertop, to Thony sitting motionless and alone in her dark and empty house for hours, to Thony’s entire family laughing and having fun together in the warm light of JD’s place without her???  Like jesus christ writers, why must you hurt me in this way????? (Though ngl the camping in the living room thing was fucking adorable). But ugh Thony calls Fi, reaching out to her family while sitting on Luca’s bed because it’s the closest she can get to being with him, and it’s also a reminder that she’s doing this for him, to keep him safe. And ugh the somberness in her voice is such a contrast to the loud and laughing voices of the family, and even though she tells Fi she made the right call (about sending her family away, about sending Arman away) it seems more like she’s trying to convince herself than Fi. And then she sees Luca, and it makes her really genuinely smile for a moment– and then all too soon he’s gone to play with his sibling-cousins and the call ends and she’s hit again with how completely alone she is. (Like literally when was the last time she spent an entire night alone?? Definitely not since Luca was born, and ughhh that knowledge hurts me).

And then the next thing we see is her curled up on top of Luca’s bed, looking so incredibly small, and tbh I think the writers were having a competition to see how many times they can make me almost cry over Thony in this ep because god dammit this hurts?? Having her so alone and terrified is just awful– and then when she’s startled awake by the sound of someone outside and runs to grab any weapon she can, knowing how little chance she has of protecting herself?? Fuck. She’s so caught up in the panic that even after she hears Arman’s voice, she forgets she’s holding the knife for a moment and has to put it down in the laundry, but then she doubts herself again– she’s been wanting to hear his voice, wanting for him to show up and stay with her like he’d said he would before everything went to hell– so she has to peek out through the blinds to be sure it really is him there. And then she lets him in, heart still racing but her terror replaced by relief– not only that there wasn’t some intruder breaking in to get her, but also that Arman was there, and she wasn’t alone. I really wish we knew what time it was during this scene– ie, like midnight vs just barely pre-dawn, because that would change her perspective of why he’s here. I’m going to assume it’s just late at night, and so she’s looking at him secretly hoping that he’s come to tell her that he failed with Nadia, that there would be no reconciliation and that they would find another way to get access to the office. And hoping that maybe then he would ask if it was still okay for him to stay, to watch over her so she wouldn’t be alone… but instead he says that he’s just stopping by, and then hands her the keycard– and she just stares at it for a second, because let’s be real, it’s like he just handed her a certificate that has ‘JUST RENEWED MY WEDDING VOWS! ALSO MOST DEFINITELY JUST CAME HERE FRESH FROM HAVING EXCELLENT SEX WITH MY SUPER HOT WIFE’ emblazoned across it in fucking giant neon print.  And god the way she takes in a breath and opens her mouth like she’s trying so hard to find something neutral to say– even something simple like ‘okay thanks, I’ll call Garrett’– but then she makes the mistake of looking up at him and the words just die in her throat because she can’t do it, she can’t pretend like this is fine, like it doesn’t hurt to have him standing right there in front of her but now even further out of her reach than he’s ever been. The fact she doesn’t hide that pain from him is huge– yet another wordless admission that she previously never would have allowed herself– and he sees it, and it hurts him too, knowing that he can’t fix it. He’d probably been lying there staring at the ceiling while Nadia slept, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to say to Thony, because how do you tell someone that you love them and wish you could be with them, while actively taking steps to be with someone else? No wonder she cuts him off– I don’t think she could have handled it if he’d tried to tell her what he felt for her right then. So she brushes it all aside with an “It’s fine”– even though they both know it is absolutely not fine, but he respects her decision anyway and doesn’t try to continue the conversation, knowing that he doesn't have a right to try to close the distance between them that he himself has just created.

Ngl when I watched the ep for the first time, I viewed both this moment and the ‘maybe you should reconcile’ scene as him thinking her response meant she didn’t feel the same way about him, and being all angsty like ‘how could she just send me back to Nadia like she doesn’t even care?? Waaaaahhh she doesn’t love me back’ lol, because the idea of him wallowing in completely oblivious misery while she was wallowing in fully-aware misery was pretty damn delicious haha, but then the moment I watched those scenes again I was like ah no he for sure knows exactly what this is doing to them both, and tbh that’s actually even more delicious lol. Because that means that mixed in with all the turmoil and angst and pain, there’s a glowing thread of ‘oh my god she loves me back’ (or at the very least, ‘omg she wants to be with me too’ in case he doesn’t dare hope that she’s like truly ~in love~ with him) but that in turn makes the turmoil worse because it shows exactly what he’s giving up. And I’m honestly so proud that she let him see the truth, let herself be vulnerable and open instead of hiding what she really feels away behind layers of hastily-rebuilt walls. Bc they’ve been doing this dance for so long already where they’ve been practically shouting their feelings for one another through their actions, even as they don’t dare to breathe a word of it aloud; but now they’ve finally at least acknowledged that they’re there, even if they haven’t put a name to them. Which would be really fucking amazing if it wasn’t happening in a situation where they both think that any chance of being together is now gone hahaha. But ugh anyway she manages to bring things back to business by mentioning Garrett (a sure way to kill any romantic moment lol) and then sighhhh she opens the door and shows him out, which is some more downright rude symbolism from the writers tbh. Also this reminds me, I answered an ask about this scene here, which also has my interpretation of his “I don’t know how much time I can buy you”. (Ngl I am immature so I giggle at the implication that he cannot satisfy a woman for very long lol, but also c’mon we already know that’s totally not the case for him haha). But tbh I do love that line, because while he’s mostly trying to protect her by encouraging her to get in and out of the office as quick as she can, there’s also a hint of a plea there; like he’s saying that this reconciliation is by no means guaranteed to last, and is begging her not to give up on the two of them just yet. Which makes her tiny nod mean even more; lbr, he’s going to be clinging to that faint spark of hope in the days ahead. But ugh the way she glances out at him through the blinds one last time while locking the door behind him, and then looks down at the keycard she’s still holding, her jaw clenching? She’d gotten what she needed, but the question is– was it worth it??

Okay seriously, seeing Nadia wake up looking so happy and satisfied really sucks haha. (I mean, this is a great sign for how much Thony is going to enjoy her future life with Arman lol, but damn I really did not need the reminder of all the sexing that occurred– so thanks for that writers, you absolute sadists lol). Seeing her react to the empty bed beside her was hard too, and then the way she smiles at him when he appears with coffees?? Like dammit he’s already broken her heart once and now it’s almost definitely guaranteed to happen again– and even worse this time, because I’m convinced she is going to find out that this make-up was a ruse to allow him to steal her keycard, probably when he inevitably confronts her about the marriage certificate and she realises that the only way he could have seen it is by accessing the office. Not only will the realisation that he used her like that– and even worse, used her in order to help Thony– absolutely shatter her heart, but it will be such a huge blow to her pride that I wouldn’t be surprised if she legit tried to murder him lol. And tbh I wouldn’t be able to say that it’s not warranted, because holy shit this really was a betrayal of epic proportions (no matter how good his intentions were or the fact that he was trying to protect her, it was still unforgivable), and like I said in one of those previous Asks, their relationship will never, ever, ever recover from it. Which tbh is why I couldn’t hate all the Arman/Nadia in this ep, because the way it happened (Arman fighting to get her back, not for her, but for Thony) was literally like watching the titanic get put on a collision course with the iceberg; there’s nothing but absolute catastrophe lying ahead. Plus that’s not even to mention the fact that he was able to convince Nadia to take him back so easily, which clearly shows that the only reason they hadn’t reconciled earlier was because he actually hadn’t even been trying at all. Regardless of what he’d been telling her, he didn’t actually want to get back together with Nadia– especially not when her leaving him had freed him from the obligation that had kept him bound, that had kept him apart from Thony– but it wasn’t until the moment that Thony asked him to reconcile with her that he'd realised it. And then it didn't matter, because like he said in 2x04, he always does whatever it takes to keep Thony safe– even breaking his own heart.

Phew honestly it’s a relief to have an FBI scene, bc this ep is just too goddamn heavy lol. I’m happy to see Agent Chan again, and I hope she was the one who actually messed with his car haha. And then ta-da, looks like the cleaning lady we saw earlier did turn out to be plot-relevant after all, as Thony has put on her trusty cleaning-lady-disguise and taken her place. But ugh I can’t help but think about the fact that she’s in here alone, literally risking her life to get them all free of RK, while Arman is busy canoodling in the comfort of his king size bed. Though lbr, I don’t think anyone hates that fact more than Arman– how awful it must feel, to be deliberately deceiving one woman you love in an incredibly hurtful way, all the while knowing that the woman you love even more deeply is in danger and yet you’re here betraying her (no one will ever convince me that he doesn’t feel like he’s cheating on Thony right now) instead of there protecting her. Aaaand oops I managed to make the FBI scene about Armony lol. Also I get what Russo means with her comment, but I still take offense at her calling Thony ‘your girl’ lol. She is only one man’s girl (and as the song goes, he needs her, lol) and that man sure as hell ain’t Garrett. But ugh of course RK has a fucking advent calendar instead of a safe; thank god Thony gets lucky and finds the ledger after only a few goes, rather than having to search the whole fucking thing lol. But the ledger is not the only thing that she finds– and whatever that piece of paper is, it’s clearly hugely important, because she risks going back to get a photo of it even though she can see Joseph already headed her way. But ugh I do appreciate that Garrett was ready to rush in and save her, but looks like he has learned his lesson about busting in after what happened with Cortes. But also omg the stress of Joseph walking right past her in the hall?? Good thing the old cleaning-lady-invisibility appears to still be effective. Though ngl I was imagining a scenario where he and the other cleaning lady are a ~thing, so when he sees her there he goes over to flirt a bit, and then he realises it’s Thony and they stare at each other like wtf lol. But of course that would not have gone well for the mission, so I guess I will just have to give up on my Joseph x Faceless Cleaning Lady ship dreams for now haha. 

So Thony’s sitting in the kitchen looking at the photos on her phone (or lbr, one in particular, aka the mystery paper) and there’s the knock at the door, and she freezes for a moment, waiting– and then as soon as she hears Garrett’s voice she goes to let him in. And tbh I wonder if her waiting to hear who was at the door wasn’t just about making sure it wasn’t a potential threat, but also maybe she was wondering if it was Arman again, and so she hesitates because she’s not sure she can face him right now? Especially because they’ve now achieved what needed to be achieved, so technically he could call off the reconciliation with Nadia (though as I’ve said before, they both know he actually can’t/won’t, not without it making him an utter bastard). But maybe I’m just making stuff up here lol. Anyway I find it kinda interesting how she and Garrett are a little matchy matchy in their blue tops, like she and Arman had matched in their black jackets. Maybe the costume department showing her connection to both of them? But again, probably just me making stuff up. And then lol of course he casually does the social faux pas of scrolling through someone’s photos without permission, and she gets the phone back real quick, clearly to stop him seeing the pic of the mystery paper. But okay so he tells her they can get RK on criminal profiteering, and I’m confused again about the way he’s changed his tune?? Earlier in the ep he was super against the profiteering charge and was determined for him to go down for murder. What changed?? Or is Garrett planning to use the information gained from the ledger to trap RK in some other way? I need answers lol. But ugh it genuinely sucks when he is all compassionate towards her now because it just makes her feel so much more guilty about Maya… which is why she tries to make it clear to him how grateful she is for everything he’s done for her and her family, and how he’s not to blame for what happened with Maya. I guess she’s hoping that he will remember this conversation after he finds out the truth about Maya, and will know that she did genuinely care for him and that she wasn’t just using him the whole time. (Sidenote, she thanks him for everything he did for her family ‘last night’ but it was actually the night before that. Keep up, writers! lol). Also I can’t remember what ep it’s from, but I swear Garrett has said ‘good work today’ to her before and I’ve decided it’s his little catchphrase lol

Ughghhhhhh have i mentioned lately how much I love the De La Rosa family?? The pureness of the sibling bond between all three kids, and the way that all of them (Fi included) are able to have fun and be silly together? Like ngl this video game scene was an incredibly accurate family depiction haha. Also I love the melodic little sound Fi makes as she walks into the room, like a happy little wordless greeting? God she’s so cute, I want to be besties with her lol. Anyway honestly being here on this little ‘holiday’ with JD has been good for all of them ugh. But oooh the conversation between Fi and JD about Thony is interesting– she tells him it’s unfair for him to say he doesn’t want Jazz anywhere near Thony until the FBI stuff is over, but honestly is it unfair? He’s her father and he doesn’t want her in danger, and I mean before now it wasn’t like there was a way to remove Jazz from that situation, but now he’s back and has a safe place for her to stay, and she’s far better off with him than at the home where Thony’s enemies could find her. And his point about Thony putting them all in danger is kinda fair too tbh. Of course I’m a Thony supporter all the way, though, so I want to say ‘It’s not her fault! She didn’t have a choice!’.... except that that’s not entirely true. With regard to season 1, it was; she was doing whatever she had to do to save Luca, and if that came with a small risk to the family as a whole, she had no option but to accept that and take steps to minimise it as best she could. But now– with all the stuff with Kamdar– it’s different, because it’s not Luca or the family that she’s trying to save, it’s Arman, and she did have a choice. Bc honestly, after 2x04 (when Mr Motel Mustache is dealt with), she could have basically walked away from it all– she didn’t need to continue getting meds with Arman and selling them to help his and Nadia’s debt. And when the fight in 2x05 happened and Arman said they were done, she could have decided that they really were over and that she needed to remove herself from his world, and from him, and he wouldn’t have tried to force her back in; even with RK telling him to get Thony to come clean the office, if she’d outright said no and told him she wanted nothing more to do with him, he would have called one of La Habana’s cleaners and then just gone and borne the consequences of RK’s displeasure himself. But the truth is she was never going to do that. She was never going to walk away from him, not when he needed her– even though she knew it meant putting herself directly in the sights of a man as dangerous as Robert, she did it anyway. But the real question is, if she’d known then everything that would happen as a result of helping Arman, would she still have made the same choice? (Honestly, my gut says yes).  And okay anyway I love that Fi defends her and says that Thony’s the only one who’s always been there for her, but I mean really? How? They’ve been living in separate countries for 15 years, and who knows if Thony has ever even been able to visit before– not to mention that in the past 5 years she’s been completely occupied with just keeping Luca alive and also not going bankrupt from Marco’s assholery. Like I appreciate Fi’s loyalty but I have some questions lol. But oooh yessss at JD’s insistence that they all stay with him until it is all over, I fully support this! Bc as much as Thony being all alone hurts my soul, I love the J-Fi and kids family dynamic– and I mean, Thony’s house being empty means that Arman can come over and that they can…. talk….. without being interrupted lol. Just saying, those two have some reconciling of their own to do  :P

Speaking of the reconciling, god the way Nadia looks like she’s walking on air as she heads into the club is absolutely killing me (though again, what an excellent sign for future-Thony’s happiness haha) bc ugh it’s not fair that the source of her happiness is built on a lie, and that the whole thing is going to come crashing down around her very soon and leave her even more brokenhearted than before– bc let’s be totally honest here, this reconciliation was doomed from the start; we can’t control who we love, and despite Arman’s best efforts and intentions, at this point it would be easier for him to stop breathing than it would for him to stop being in love with Thony. Plus like I said before, there’s no way the man is going to be able to just ignore the marriage certificate– the evidence that she’s been lying to him since they met, and also the thing that could potentially mean their own marriage is void– and so when he inevitably confronts her about it, she’s going to realise that he got into the office somehow, and put two and two together. And ugghhhh even despite my love of Armony, that moment is going to be so hard to watch, because while Nadia has her flaws, she doesn’t deserve this.  And ugh we see just a tiny glimpse of that hurt when she realises the keycard is gone and is faced with the horrible possibility that Arman took it– but of course Thony protected him and left it somewhere where it would be found quickly, but would also still be believable that Nadia would leave it. Which is just even further manipulation of Nadia and ugh it feels gross to watch (though at least we know that both Thony and Arman feel terrible about it, and are only doing it because they have no other choice).  But ugh anyway on a happier sidenote, it’s cute that Nadia waved to the bouncer on her way in; I bet she’s made friends with all of them and they think she’s the best, and I could totally see her with a whole little army of loyal bouncers lol. (So look out, Arman! haha)

Okay so I might be getting a little conspiracy-theorist here, but I’m going to say it anyway: what if Russo is dirty??? Like what if Russo actually was the mole, and has been indebted to RK this whole time??? I mean I know Garrett found the tracker in Maya’s things, and so he now believes that that’s how RK knew where to find her– but who brought him those things? Russo. Russo, who knows him very well, and so would have known that he would have taken absolutely every precaution to hide Maya, meaning that Maya’s abduction and murder would have had him convinced that there must be a mole in their department. And so she preempts that by planting the tracker in Maya’s things and letting him discover it himself, completely erasing his suspicions and leaving her in the clear. Which makes me also wonder if her big promotion is either a) because Kamdar pulled some strings for her to get her the job she wanted, or b) was her looking for reassignment so she can get away from RK without him threatening to expose her. And so what if the whole reason she is pushing for him to be brought down for profiteering rather than murder is because that’s run by a different department, and so RK won’t know that she was involved? Bc I can imagine that if her department tried to take him down, he’d be like ‘well you better make this go away or I’m telling everyone about our arrangement and taking you down with me’. And so while she can’t risk being the one to take him down, she desperately wants to be free of him, which is why she’s pushing for the profiteering angle. But anyway I know I may be way off base with all this, but idk this theory just has a grip on me now lol. Like I don’t think Russo is bad, I think RK just has her in a tough spot, like he has Arman and Thony and so many others. Plus, the way Russo says “Now you know you’re not to blame” after Garrett finds the tracker makes me believe that she didn’t just plant it to cover her own ass– she also did it so he would be able to forgive himself, because she genuinely does care about him and hates that he’s hurting. But ah well, I guess we’ll see in the coming eps whether I’m onto something here or not lol

Damn, the fact that Thony is waiting for Arman outside despite the lingering threat of RK sending someone to hurt her?? I guess she really doesn’t want him in her space rn / is really trying to keep her distance now that the situation between them has changed. (again, the fantastic post by @enigmaticfox really highlighted this).  But ugh I need to know what she said to him to get him to come over– like I assume she texted rather than calling (hearing his voice and knowing that Nadia was likely only in the next room would have just been too hard to bear), and she was probably careful with her words in the text because she knew that there was the possibility Nadia would see his phone. So did she use some kind of code or something, because a ‘we need to talk’ would definitely not go down well if Nadia were to see it lol. So maybe she made up something about there being an issue with the meds that they needed to sort out, knowing he would understand what she was trying to say– and then after sending it she immediately gets a text back saying ‘on my way’ like he’d been keeping his phone close and just waiting to hear from her. But ugh I feel for the position she’s in– caught between the need to protect her family, and the irresistible urge to protect Arman (even from himself). And even as she asks if he knew about the marriage, she already knows the answer; simply because if he’d known, he would have told her already. They don’t keep things from each other, not anymore, which is why she risked going back to the certificate to get a photo– she wanted to be able to show him the definitive proof, so he wouldn’t be forced to choose between her word and Nadia’s. (Sidenote: from the certificate itself, we can see that Nadia’s surname was De Leon, which is freakin badass; and also that she and Robert got married 8 years ago, which means the maximum amount of time that she and Arman have been together is probably about 7 years, but may well be less). But anyway ughhh the way Thony makes it clear to him that she genuinely wanted to help him protect Nadia, but that if the only way to take down RK is for Nadia to go down too, then she’s going to have to take it, because she has to put the safety of her family first. And then they just stare at each other, because they both know what this means; if he chooses to put his family (aka Nadia) first– and protect her even if doing so means RK walks free– then he and Thony will have no choice to be on opposing sides in this fight. 

And that’s the last place either of them wants to be. 

The Cleaning Lady: Scenes at home in 2x08

This was supposed to be just a quick text message to @idealisticrealism, but as with everything TCL, it grew a life of its own, kicked my shins, stabbed me in the heart and then took off running. Sigh.

Amidst the bombshells and revelations in 2x08, the show finally deigned to grace us with Arman dropping by the De La Rosa abode not once or twice, but four times. Throughout the ep, it was striking to see Arman in Thony's space and the way they navigated around each other in that space.

So here are some very brief thoughts about the four scenes -- they are not fully formed, so please feel free to disagree or add to them!

(NB. To be fair, 2x08 shows us three different homes: the De La Rosa's, the Morales's, and JD's. There's a meta somewhere in there to be written about the contrasting visual design and interactions in all three spaces. Please, someone [not me], go write it.)

Well, I'm staying here... you shouldn't be alone.

In the first scene, we know that this is the morning after the harrowing events of 2x07. Arman comes in through the back door. While the conversation takes place in the laundry room, he has also walked in some ways inside to get a sense of the space, checking out Luca's room and clocking the fact that Thony's family has left.

Thony remains standing near the door. As she speaks of her anguish of what Arman was forced to do, and her discomfort of lying to Garrett, he walks to her, closing the distance between them and she accepts his embrace.

Please, come in.

I love the second scene so much. Thony brings Arman through the front door -- so his motorbike is parked out front too?? -- swinging open the door widely as she walks in. In my favourite recurring detail of the De La Rosa household, Thony slips off her shoes, and Arman -- probably too distracted with being around her in her space -- does not lol. But as she welcomes him to the living room, 'Please, come in', she keeps her jacket on, tying her visually (and emotionally) with Arman.

She sits on the sofa, cross-legged and tucking her feet underneath, while he chooses the smaller couch, perpendicular and closest to her. Despite the stresses of what is ahead of them -- and her hands, as usual, are folded in front of her in a protective gesture -- she is disarmed by his presence, as comfortable as she would ever be in this episode.

Look, Thony- // It's fine.

So much of the third scene screams caution, an emotional pulling back: it is now dark out; Thony, startled awake, wields a knife before hearing Arman's voice, and peeks through closed blinds before opening the back door to let him in. Like the first scene, they are meeting again in the laundry room, both now standing close to the door. But their stance is markedly less comfortable than earlier that day, though not (yet) as confrontational as in the next scene.

I sighed so loudly when she opens the door -- an unmistakable cue for him to go. She even holds on to the door as he hangs on to the frame, not quite ready to leave yet. As she closes the door behind him, a last glance at him as he goes home to Nadia.

I'm sorry.

Oh boy. The fourth and final scene is in her backyard -- our boy doesn't even get through the door this time. The visual arrangement of the scene is somewhat confrontational : arms braced on knees, Thony has been waiting for him to arrive, and walks up the path to preempt him halfway; he doesn't get anywhere near the house. And she's even got shoes on lol.

I love that as they walk toward each other, we see the clutter behind Thony -- fairy lights and window decals, mismatched pots and lounge chairs (JD and Fi's 'Sorry about the mess // Don't worry, it makes us feel right at home' comes to mind). It's proof of the home and the family that Thony is adamant about protecting, and with Arman intending to do the same with Nadia as well, they are uncomfortably at odds in that closing shot.

To end, I'm just gonna quote @idealisticrealism here, because she says it in words better than I can:

The way it reflects their relationship over the show so far, too? Growing closer and then being pushed apart again by outside circumstances, having to distance themselves when they don't want to? Help

Yeah, help is right; god help us all. This effing show, I tell you.

THE CLEANING LADY 2x08 Spousal Privilege

As soon as I know it's safe, you and the kids, you come back home.

Wait.... wait! You're not coming with us?

THE CLEANING LADY 2x07 Truth or Consequences ♪I can't get my head around it♪ ♪I keep feeling smaller and smaller♪

THE CLEANING LADY 2x07 Truth or Consequences We've got nothing now.

THE CLEANING LADY 1x01 TNT // 2x05 The Brit

Do you ever wish you could take something back... even though you know it won't change a thing?

Maybe you could consider changing the quote (UTD, I presume?) in your banner, because jfc dude You Are Not Okay 😂

I've already yelled at you about Armony in emojis and hieroglyphics and you translated all that into words here 😵, and then effing more WORDS.. so I guess these are just the scraps at the bottom of the barrel lol

With regards to Garrett, I don't quite see it as a priority shift. Garrett's target is Cortes, but he assumes that Cortes and Kamdar could be taken down at the same time, and Armony disabuses him of that: Kamdar is trickier, so Cortes is ostensibly the easier initial target, and hopefully they could get him to turn on Kamdar

(And actually this plan made me so nervous jfc: yeah Kamdar is smart, but Cortes is an unknown quantity... as they found out. Maybe half-baked, risky plans are a thing with mob couples? The adrenaline rush of living on the edge? The prospect of sexy times amidst piles of money? Istg I got a piece of grey hair watching this ep lol)

Your entire Nadia/ Arman/ Thony analysis is amazing and giving me nebulous gifset ideas ughhh I do not have the time for this

Lmao love it that you were so irate about the different money bag. Can we assume that this bag contained the cash from the earlier sales, and Arman simply added on what was collected at the end of 2x05?

Damn girl good catch on the continuity error with Thony's shirt lol. Tbh I was puzzled why they'd waited until the next day to unload the remaining drugs -- what, the boxes were just left in the truck overnight? And how did Arman's stuff end up in the truck when he'd gone back to the house on the notorbike? Wait nvm he stuffed all those things in garbage bags right. The thought that he might have returned to the house with the truck to pick up his stuff is too funny 😋

(Also yeah Arman playing squash? This does things to me 😍)

I am not over the look in his eyes as he holds her hand; their fingers, lightly intertwined, I don't even know how to....? 🐋🐋🐋 What was that look... steady, unabashed, a universe of dreams behind it, a glimpse of what is possible between them, now increasingly within reach? Ughhh. Your words is good. Did I mention I will never be over this?

Why did they need the money from the FBI? I guess it's because, technically, this was not business as usual. The $250k to buy the drugs would go back to the FBI after Cortes paid them back, and the drugs would also be seized. And um, unless the FBI were totally incompetent -- which lbr this not wildly unbelievable on this show -- if Cortes did pay them more, it would definitely have surfaced when the FBI did anything basic like itemising evidence. Or asking Cortes once they took him into custody. But oh well it's a moot point now is it RIP we hardly knew ya lol

(But which also raises the question, what would have happened if the sting had worked and the feds did get Cortes and Kamdar? Maya being involved was a huge part of Garrett agreeing to work with Armony in the first place, but would Garrett have continued to look the other way, let Armony carry on buying and distributing drugs? Again, this is now irrelevant but these things bug me lol)

ZEBRA CAUGHT YOUR TONGUE? lmaoooo why wasn't this a thing?? My kingdom for Garrett snarking at Arman about Thony (also, I feel like the "hey handsome" remark in 2x05 was Oliver Hudson ad libbing it? idk); MAKE IT HAPPEN, SHOW.

IF FI DOESN'T WANT YOU, JD, I DOOOOOOOO

(But oh god, knowing TCL's propensity to put EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE, through the wringer, I am terrified they will do something to him. Especially since in the ten minutes that we've met him, he's only been too good to be true the best).

The women on this show coming through for one another gives me life 🤩 : Fi and Thony, Maya and Thony, Nadia and ...? That's a tough one. Tbh I'm not a huge fan of Nadia's storyline being so firmly tied to Kamdar -- perhaps not so much ensnared in his web, since she has a lot of agency. But to a large extent, she is isolating herself and unsupported. I guess we'll have to see what happens there.

TCL 2x06 recap

Hahahahaahaaaaaaa get ready for more unhinged fangirling (and just so many words omg)

Also thanks so much to those of you who left replies on the previous recaps, I honestly really love seeing them– it’s awesome to know that you guys are actually enjoying my insane ramblings haha. So please keep sharing your thoughts and I’lll keep sharing mine :P

Honestly I am so happy we’re still on the same day as last ep! Though lbr I desperately wish we could have seen what happened between Garrett accepting the deal and Thony getting home– like how did she get home?? Did she drive back to the cleaning storehouse (I’m going to start calling this Cleaning Ladies’ HQ, or CLHQ for short lol) in the truck with Arman and then he dropped her home on his bike??? Or did Garrett insist on driving her home so he could chastise her about her involvement with Arman?? I mean either option would have been great to watch but lbr I would prefer the former lol. But sigh I guess that’s just going to be left to the imagination. But ugh it hurts to see her so upset– she was so steady and brave in the moment while making the deal, but now the reality is setting in, the feeling of once again being caught in a trap. And oooh it wasn’t until she told Fi just now about helping Arman move drugs that I remembered her reaction to Fi’s plan to sell party drugs for Brandon. Feeling like a bit of a hypocrite now, are we Thony?? And maybe a liar, too, considering she tells Fi that Garrett threatened to deport her unless she informed for him again– bc firstly there was zero mention of deportation (I honestly believe that Garrett is done with that threat, and also that he legitimately did actually intend to let Thony go and just take Arman in for the drugs), and secondly, we all know she begged him to agree to her being an informant, in order to keep both herself and Arman safe. But to admit that to Fi would be to reveal even more about the depth of her and Arman’s connection than the events in the motel did (and that was already plenty) and I honestly don’t think Thony is capable of facing that right now.

Ooooh only one person uses the weird kitchen door, which means Hot Detective Flores is back!  Though as much as I like her, she does nothing but cause me stress haha. I‘m glad that the cops seem to have moved on from Thony as a suspect so quickly and easily– unless part of her reason for coming here and telling them about MMM’s disappearance was to see their reaction– but lbr it does look suss that MMM disappeared so soon after a death at his motel (sidenote, him being missing ‘over a week now’ definitely fits with the expected timeline). But aaaaarghhh I was worried that his disappearance would cause the cops to search his apartment and potentially find more videos– honestly, I’m surprised Arman didn’t look at MMM’s license for his address and then find his keys and go to his apartment to search for any sign of the Chris video. Unless maybe he did??? Honestly he’s savvy enough to think of it, and dedicated enough to protecting Thony that he’d absolutely do it. Ok tbh I am adopting the headcanon rn that he actually did go and do all that after disposing of the body, and just didn’t tell Thony bc he didn’t think she needed to know/wanted to let her just forget the whole thing. But anyway tbh it’s kind of funny to hear Flores say reassuringly “We WILL find out how your loved one died” to the three people who were literally present at/involved in his death lol. But also omg Chris how about you don’t yell “they’ll know I did it!!” literally moments after the detective walks out the door??? God you are such a teenager lol. And ok I love Thony’s certainty in saying that that the cops won’t find the body and that “Arman made sure of it”-- but like is that just her having enough trust in him to know he would have taken care of it, or did he actually tell her what he did with the body??? And if so, when??? Doesn’t this show know that I need to be privy to literally every single conversation and interaction between Armony?? C’mon writers be more considerate of a poor fangirl haha

(Also I forget to mention this every single week but I really love the new title screen thing with the soapy water washing away the red from the lettering like it’s washing away blood, leaving the pure white text behind. This show has such style man) 

My thought process as Arman pulls up to the house on his motorbike: ‘oh hey I stood right by that letterbox thing down at the end of the street! Ok wait so these guys didn’t sell the motorbike or  Nadia’s car, despite the severity of their financial issues? Also what is Arman staring at? Is there some kind of evidence that Robert has been at the house?? Omg wait did Nadia throw his stuff out????’ (*literally laughs in delight as the camera pans over his stuff on the ground lol*). Tbh I had fun pausing to check out his various belongings, and while the childhood pic of Adan is cutest, and the squash racquet is hot (I would watch him play that ANY day), the random lamps are definitely my favourite addition. Like are they sentimental lamps?? But anyway oh my goddddd this is a scene I have been hoping for for a long time, and holy shit Eva is legit giving it her all– hell hath no fury indeed. (ngl I’m giggling a little at the fact that she would have had to yell and throw those clothes right into the camera while filming this lol). But omg “What the hell are you doing??” / “What the hell are YOU doing?? I’m doing what I should have done the first time I laid eyes on you with your cleaning lady”-- honestly I love this line, because it is such a great throwback to the moment Nadia first sees them together in 1x02. (I’m ignoring their first scene all together the morning after the party in 1x01, because she was still drunk and didn’t actually see Thony and Arman interact at all; though mannn her 1x01 line “I like her. Give her everything” is particularly impactful now). But in 1x02, Nadia watches as Arman literally drops everything– leaving in the middle of an important meeting with Hayak and Knight– to disappear with a woman he barely knows, when it would have been far easier for him to get one of their guys to take her to the clinic, or even just tell her to go to a hospital instead. And I gotta mention the next time Nadia witnesses them interact as well; in 1x03 where she watches from across the club as Thony gives Luca’s drawing to Arman, and honestly she’s right with what she said– Thony really does look at him like he’s her hero in this moment, while he looks at her with an almost bashful pleasure, which (if Nadia had seen it) she would probably barely recognise, given how rare it must be for him. That was the moment Nadia started to understand something they hadn’t yet seen themselves, and was partly why she brought Thony to the wedding reception with her, to further observe how they would interact. She’s been watching this whole time, and though she’d tried to convince herself that the connection between them didn’t mean anything for her own relationship with Arman (I’m almost certain there was an interview that said Nadia has slept with other women during their marriage, so maybe they’re ~open), the truth is she’s always known that what Thony and Arman have is different. It's real, and she knows it, even if they don't.

Which is exactly why she calls bullshit when he says “There’s nothing going on between Thony and me. You know that!” And gotta say, as much as I love Arman, I kinda call bullshit too. Though while I can imagine some people would say he’s gaslighting her, I actually don’t agree. (“Gaslighting”: to deliberately manipulate someone by psychological means into doubting their own sanity). I think in Arman’s case, he genuinely believes he’s telling the truth, because to him, ‘nothing going on’ means a) he and Thony aren’t sleeping together, and b) that their relationship isn’t going to progress beyond what it is now. He’s aware of his feelings for Thony, and is also aware that she has some kind of feelings for him (even if he doesn’t know exactly how far those feelings extend), and though there is an undeniable pull between them he also knows that there is a line neither of them will cross, one that exists because of Nadia– especially since everything that happened with the prison and the debt, and how much Nadia’s safety and livelihood now depends on him as a result of that. And so that’s what he means with that line– while he and Thony are connected, that connection will never go any further (despite what Nadia clearly believes) as long as he and Nadia are together.  Hence his frustration– she’s accusing him of having the very thing he so desperately wants, but has denied himself ever having. And he genuinely does try to explain what he’s been doing/make her understand about the plan with the drugs, except she won’t let him (damn at the accuracy of her “you’ll take any excuse to be with her” line though, wow), and then just as he’s about to try to convince her of his dedication to her, he sees the ring, and the devious landmine artfully planted by Robert explodes between them. Because while Nadia sees the reality– the inevitability– of Thony and Arman’s connection far better than he does, Arman sees the truth of Robert’s actions better than she does, and that disparity only serves to push them further apart. But omg the way I gasped when she yells “There is no more us!!!” and he just stares at her because he knows her well enough to see the truth, has fought bitterly with her enough times to see that this is different– that this time it might actually be real, that they’ve passed that point of no return and that their marriage is over. He can’t entirely believe it though, doesn’t dare to; because if it’s real, then she has actually just released him from the obligation he has towards her, from the slowly-growing weight of unhappiness that he has been carrying since even before he met Thony. And the irony of it all is that by leaving him, she has given him the freedom to do what he otherwise never would have done– the exact thing she was accusing him of in the first place: be with the woman he loves.  

Okay so Armony are about to have their meet with Garrett to discuss the plan, and honestly I hate when scenes start with both of them already present! Like excuse me I need to know how long they have been waiting and what they have been talking about and how much they have looked at each other etc??? Like did they deliberately arrive earlier than Garrett so they could work out their plan? Have they been texting back and forth since last night trying to figure it out?? No matter how much this show feeds me (and ngl it feeds me well; see the above paragraph for proof lol) I am always going to want more lol. But ugh they have clearly talked it through together and are presenting their little plan as a duo and basically completing each other’s sentences and I love them. But honestly it confuses me a bit that Garrett starts the meeting by asking how they’re going to use Robert to get Cortes, and then only like a minute later he’s signing up for their plan to use Cortes to get Robert?? It just seemed like a sudden and odd priority shift, bc until this moment it seemed like he didn’t care about Robert (despite Robert’s extensive crime-ing) and only saw him as a means to getting Cortes? But tbh I don’t care lol. I just care about this Armony eye contact and the way Arman looked like he wanted to say something before Thony turned and walked away ugh. I’m gonna headcanon that after she gets in the van, he leans against the passenger door and talks to her through the lowered window, maybe arranging a time for them to meet at CLHQ and unpack the drugs from the van? (Also two sidenotes: firstly I’ve never noticed that little semi-bald patch in Arman’s beard over the right side of his jaw– is there a scar there because I would be very into that. And secondly dude I love the leather jacket as much as anyone, trust me, but it is too hot for you to be wearing it all the time! Take it off before you get heatstroke!! …. And while you’re at it, the shirt should probably go too. Just to be safe lol)

“Now that dad’s back in town you guys can get married!” Omg. I cannot describe my love for this scene, firstly for the near parent-trapping, and secondly for the fact that it literally legitimately felt SO real in terms of how a 12 year old would see and react to this situation. Like oh my heart Jazz is so cute and earnest lol, and Fi and JD were so gentle with setting her straight ugh. Bummer about the JD girlfriend, but eh, I’m sure she won’t last haha. I swear the JD and Fi ship (I’m going for “J-Fi” here because I’m lazy lol) is gonna sail by the end of the season– or at least it better, because I love them already ugh

It’s probably ridiculous that it irritates me that Arman changed the money into a different bag? Like why? Though I guess he had to take it all out of the other bag to count it anyway or whatever (also, where did he do that? La Habana??). But ugh yaaaasss that was such a satisfying power move watching him casually drop a ton of money in front of Robert and see Robert be like that meme of the lady who looks confused with all the mathematic equations floating around her lol. (That was terribly described but c’mon, you know the one.)  Honestly I was so happy for Arman here because not only is he a fifth of the way closer to freedom, but he got to show the guy who thinks he has him completely backed into a corner that there is more to him than Robert realises. Robert clearly does not like to feel like he’s been tricked (which is ironic because he’s literally being tricked right now lol) so he immediately goes to Nadia to whine like the spoiled child that he is. I definitely did enjoy Nadia’s face when she learned Arman had paid off so much– yep, he did try to tell you last night, but you wouldn’t listen! Not that means she wasn’t justified in everything she said last night, bc she was mostly right– there is absolutely 100% something going on with him and Thony– but to be fair to Arman, she’s wrong about what lines they have or haven’t crossed. But even so, his involvement with Thony doesn’t mean he was lying about selling the drugs, or when he said that he was doing this for him and Nadia (aka, for their freedom from Robert). Two things can be true at once Nadia! 

Lol I love seeing Arman putting two relatively small boxes on the stack while in the background Thony is lugging a box off the truck that is practically as big as she is. Girl has got being self-reliant down to an art form. Ngl my brain is still very confused by the ‘how do they have both the money and the drugs in their possession’ question, but whatever, I‘ll roll with it (just like I’m rolling with Thony’s inexplicable outfit change back to what she was wearing at home last night; maybe the blue shirt got dirty between the meet this morning and now?). But who cares about these things when there’s completely unnecessary Armony touching to scream over??? I love that he holds out a hand to help her get down even though she has very clearly been hopping up and down from that van like a lil’ mountain goat all morning unpacking these meds (I also love that his other hand first covered hers on the box for like a split second before she straightened up ugh). But ugh she doesn’t shy away from him or say she’s fine– she just immediately puts her hand in his and lets him help her. Given that stubborn independence and self-reliance (like mentioned above) are some of Thony’s major character traits, I love to see little moments like this, which show that she is learning to accept help from the people that care about her, even when she already knows she could manage alone. (Bc the whole point is that she doesn’t have to anymore).

And so anyway she lets him help her down, and then ughhhhhhh they just… hold on??? And I say they bc honestly while Arman is more overtly deliberate in keeping that contact, it’s not like he’s preventing her from pulling away– his grip is relaxed, and she could have easily slipped her hand out of his the moment she was on solid ground (and without it seeming weird or like she was trying to get away from him), but she didn’t. Instead she just looks up at him, fingers still curled over his and thumb pressing against his skin, and ugh the way he's looking at her??? His fight with Nadia last night had such a feeling of finality to it, and while lbr he doesn't know for sure that she won’t backflip again and take him back when she calms down, he can’t help but let himself have this moment where he isn’t a man torn between obligation to one woman and love for another– he’s just a man looking at the woman he loves, the woman he could finally have a future with. And he shifts closer like he’s being pulled in by the dream of that future, and maybe she is too bc her eyes flick down to his mouth for just a split second– and then it’s like she snaps out of it, like ‘wait shit nope still married' and pulls back, her neck muscles tensing like she’s literally holding her breath??? And then she turns away for all of a second before she’s like  '......unless….…?' lol and turns back to bring up the elephant in the room (or rather, the belongings in the truck haha), aka the signs of the possible dissolution of his marriage??? How uncomfortable must it be for her to acknowledge them, especially when they might actually mean nothing (she's seen the way Arman and Nadia fight, and yet thus far they’ve always still stayed together), or they might mean that things are really over between Arman and Nadia this time, which would open the door for the beginning (lbr, the progression) of something between the two of them??? But despite the awkwardness, it’s more important to her to make sure he’s okay, and ugh the way he steps closer to her again, his eyes on her face and voice all soft as he thanks her…  Never thought I’d say this, but I’m almost glad for the appearance of Robert and Nadia, because oh man I can’t take this tension and all these unspoken truths. Ngl I did have a very brief moment of insanity when she said “If you want–” where I literally thought she was going to offer for him to come stay at her house ahahaha. I love that she did offer him somewhere to stay, though, because she cares about him and wants him to have a roof over his head.  She’s trying to look after him, because that’s what they do for each other; and only a moment later he’s yet again looking after her by telling her to go into the storage room (presumably to have more cover/be closer to the exit on the other side if she needs to run) and ugh the way he puts his hand on his gun, ready to do whatever it takes to keep her safe. Honestly these two and their mutual care and protection of each other are going to be the death of me. 

Anyway ughhh I am SO into this framing of Armony on one side and Nadia and Robert on the other. This is the shift I mentioned in a previous meta, with the Arman/Nadia partnership being severed and the two of them realigning with Thony and Robert (though lbr Arman and Thony were already very much aligned long before this, lol). I also love the framing of the shots inside the storeroom, with Arman behind Thony and his eyes on her rather than on Robert. I appreciate that Robert actually seems fascinated by the discovery of Thony’s actual profession, and the way his gaze flicks to Arman– whose eyes are still focused only on Thony– for confirmation. I also appreciate that he doesn’t actually sound sarcastic when he refers to her as ‘Doctor’; he’d been actually fairly respectful to her the day before, but there’s a new element to it now– maybe it’s that he feels she’s more worthy of respect now that he knows her profession (in which case, he’s a jerk), or maybe it’s just that he realises that he has underestimated the depth to her and is re-evaluating. Honestly I think she has intrigued him from the start and this has only added to that. But aaaaah I love when people who are used to being the one manipulating others– and who see themselves as the untouchable puppetmaster pulling the strings– get played themselves, and damn Armony did an amazing job at having Robert walk right into their trap. Because of course the man who wants to take everything Arman possesses would never be able to resist taking a chunk of his business away from him. (Though seriously, if one of them had been wearing a wire during this interaction, they would have had enough to hand Robert over to the FBI right away… but I guess that would have cut the episode pretty short haha). Anyway I’m so happy that Arman is now free from his deal to work for Robert (of course, so is Nadia, but lbr we all know that working for Robert suited her just fine). But ugh the look Arman gives her after ensuring her freedom from Robert– see, I told you I was doing this for you too– and the expression she’s wearing like she knows there’s more going on here than she understands, but she just can’t see it yet. I love the moment Armony share after Nadia and Robert leave– “You didn’t tell Nadia the plan?” / “No. That’s why it worked.” because a) it just further reiterates that Armony are their own team now and Nadia is not part of that (he literally let his marriage implode rather than defend himself to Nadia and jeopardise the plan), but also b) it’s gotta have Thony wondering what this little business deal will mean for Arman and Nadia’s marriage, and whether Nadia will let him come home now that she realises what he did to get them free of Robert. And while obviously the potential for Arman and Nadia making up is not at all what we want, I want Thony to realise that it’s not what she wants either. 

But ugh of course Arman is immediately thinking about Thony’s safety and trying to convince her that he should go to the meet with Cortes alone– and of course she refuses and insists on coming with him lol. Tbh her argument about being able to answer any questions about the meds is weak (Arman could literally just call her if any came up), and we know the truth, even if she can’t face it herself. Because she’s almost lost Arman twice now– firstly when Hayak blew up his car a month ago and she spent a horrific week thinking he was dead, and then secondly when Hayak had him attacked in the prison (who knows if she’s actually aware of the third time, aka the prison shower showdown)– and both of those near-misses happened at times when they were separated. Since then, she can’t face the idea of him walking into a situation this dangerous on his own, can’t help but be terrified of what might happen to him– so the only (admittedly irrational) way she can control that fear is to be there too. And maybe she’s hoping that Cortes will be less likely to harm Arman if there’s a witness present, especially a woman– after all, her time in Arman’s world has shown her that there is still honour among criminals; and now, for him, she’s staking her life on it. But anyway okay I’m confused again– why do they need money from the FBI for the drugs? They had no problem buying the drugs before with their limited funds (after all, they’ve said how cheap they are to buy from Mexico), but I guess maybe this time they’re getting way more? Idk. I love that Thony’s mind immediately went to the opportunity to steal from the FBI and take a cut for themselves (I see you’ve learned a few things, haha) and clearly Arman loved it too– ughhhh the way he just stares at her with such wonder and pride, and then abruptly looks away the moment she looks up at him lol. (Sorry, buddy, but not quick enough. She totally saw those heart eyes, but then again, it’s not like you’ve ever been particularly good at hiding them. Unlike her, who is maybe too good at it….)

Omg when did Garrett and Jefferson become such boyfriends???? “I’m an atheist” “sorry Russo, he’s an atheist” / “You’ve got nothing to worry about boss, we got this” and all the giddy little grins? Like geez guys try to be less like completely smitten newlyweds here haha. (Though lbr it’s super cute and I love it). Also my confusion about this entire Robert/Cortes situation continues, because literally last night it seemed like Garrett was going to keep his little teamup with Thony and Arman a secret– like when he said it was a false alarm and turned Jefferson away– but now he’s told the FBI all about it?? I guess maybe he was just waiting to get a clear plan from Thony and Arman that morning before he took it to Russo? Also lol at Russo mentioning Maya having met Thony– you can immediately bet Maya is going to show up at some point, despite Garrett’s assurances lol. Just like the comments about Thony being in danger if Cortes sees the FBI, and Garrett saying that nothing will go wrong. Famous last words lol…

So is La Habana gonna be like a shared custody arrangement, or…? Lol bc apparently rn Arman gets the office overnight and as soon as morning hits, she’s tossing him out. (That little finger click and gesture to get out? That was hot lol). Also I kinda love the clear way we are being shown the division between them, particularly in these shared spaces of theirs. And I love that this scene further reiterates that she was never just the pretty face around the club– they were both equally the pretty face that lured the customers, and the business sharks running the show behind the scenes. But omg, rumpled grumbly Arman all squished onto that too-small couch?? I love it so much haha. But lbr buddy ‘I didn’t have anywhere else to go’ is a lie, Thony made it very clear you were welcome to her bed… ahem, I mean the bed at the clinic. (Shhhh I can dream, lol). Also I will be 100% honest, I definitely stared at his thighs when he threw back the blanket haha, but I was totally just looking for evidence of the scar that should have been there from the explosion in 1x01. I swear :P But anyhow I actually am so happy about this fight, because unlike their fight in front of the house, this isn’t all fire and anger. The things said then could have been put down to heat of the moment, and the writers could have used this scene to have them talk it out and reconcile now that Nadia knows he was telling the truth about the drugs (even if she still doesn’t know the whole story, and she knows that there’s more to it). But instead the same argument is covered again, but with tiredness and resignation rather than furious attacks. ‘What I did was for us, can’t you see that?” / ”No, I can’t see it”-- honestly I feel like when Arman says ‘us’, he doesn’t mean them as a romantic couple; he means both of them, individually. And he has been fighting to free them both, because he cares about her and knows that being near Robert is only going to be bad for her in the long run. (Plus he just hates Robert and can’t stand the thought of Robert feeling like he’s ‘won’ her). But when Nadia hears ‘us’ she takes it to mean their relationship, their connection to each other. Which is why she doesn’t believe he’s fighting for ‘them’. But lbr these two are doomed either way– bc if they remain under the crushing pressure from Robert, they’ll crack under the strain until they shatter apart. And if they get free of Robert and re-establish the level of financial security they had before, then Arman will no longer have the same obligation to protect and provide for her, and he won’t be able to resist the pull towards what he really wants– a life with Thony.

The comment about the ring was interesting though– like whoever puts it on her hand (or more importantly, who she accepts it from) is laying claim to her? Originally it was Arman, but then the ring became Robert’s, and then he gave it to her– and so by her visibly wearing it, it’s now a sign of her connection to/acceptance of him rather than Arman. And lbr she could have put it away somewhere safe or even hocked it when Robert gave it back, but she chose to wear it, even knowing the message it would send to Arman. But ugh the way their voices get all low and he tells her she’s free of Robert, basically implores her not to get caught in his web again, and she holds back tears as she tells him that she knows that what he’s doing is for Thony. The fact that he stops trying to argue against it– he’s accepted that they both know it’s the truth now– and just tries to warn her in the only way he can that being close to Robert is dangerous, that he genuinely is trying to protect her, regardless of the state of their marriage. But ugh the quiet conviction in ‘my safety is not your concern anymore’ and ‘don’t be here when I come back’– we have seen them have many fights by this point, constantly lashing out at each other and pushing each other away, but always coming back to the safety and familiarity of their relationship– but to me, this is the point where their marriage truly ends. After this, I honestly can’t see the writers giving us scenes where they try to come back from this, aka try to ‘make it work’. I think they are definitely going to continue being in each other’s orbit– with La Habana, Robert, the drug business etc, there’s still a lot connecting them– but it will no longer be as a partnership. As allies, maybe, hopefully; but never again as husband and wife. (At least I really, really hope so.)

Omg I am in LOVE with Fi clearly just rolling with the fact that Thony is going to go undercover to meet a drug kingpin (it’s like that John Mulaney quote of “You know those days when you’re like, ‘This might as well happen’” lol), and aw she even goes all in to find her an outfit and make her look the part. Considering Fi has been the one doing most of the freaking out lately, I think it actually helps her (as well as Thony) to take a turn being the strong one, the one who says it’s all going to be okay. Thony’s feeling out of her depth, and so afraid for both Arman and herself– like I said earlier, maybe in the moment when she insisted on coming, she felt that having the two of them there must surely make it safer; as if even a high-level criminal would hesitate before killing two people (especially including a woman) because it doubles the likelihood of someone noticing them missing or knowing where they were last seen. But now she’s terrified that she might be wrong about that, and even more terrified that it might be her messing up somehow that gets them both killed. She insisted on coming because she thought it would protect Arman– but what if it does the opposite? What if he dies because of her?? And ughhh Fi reminds her of how brave and strong she is, and then gives her her ‘armour’ to wear so she can feel the part, and I just love them so much ughhhh. I have said it before that these two are the true centre of the show and I stick by that 

Okay but we were 100% ROBBED of getting to see Arman’s first reaction to Thony in That Outfit. Am I going to fic it? Look, at some point, probably lol. Because you just know that that boy forgot his own damn name for a moment there when he first laid eyes on her. I’m picturing him and Garrett tensely standing at some designated meet point, waiting for her to arrive (maybe there was a bit of final briefing to do or something, idk) and as she pulls up they’re snarking at each other over something, and then when she steps out of the van Arman literally stops talking mid-sentence and just stares. And Garrett makes some teasing comment (like "careful, that puddle of drool will ruin those fancy shoes" or "what's the matter, zebra got your tongue?" Lol) that Arman doesn’t even hear–  he's already walking towards her like he's being drawn by a magnet. Garrett huffs and then follows, then tells Thony that this outfit is much more on the mark than her goth one, but she’s not listening to him either. She’s only looking at Arman, and Garrett rolls his eyes a little and then does some very pointed throat clearing and then is all “Are we going to stand here having a staring competition all day or are we actually going to get this done?” and they snap themselves out of it. But anyway ugh the two of them driving in the caddy looking like that, with that sultry music over the top?? And the line “eye for an eye, heart for a heart, gave you my light, I’ll show you my dark” – like help??? Honestly whoever does the music for this show deserves a goddamn award. I have literally been listening almost solely to playlists of tracks from TCL for months now and I am loving it.  But anyway major kudos to Arman for being able to focus on the road and not on the amount of bare thigh on display in the passenger seat lol; that’s some serious discipline right there. (Though lbr he’s had a lot of practice at trying not to stare at Thony haha, with varying levels of success).

But ugh the way she stays in her seat for a few moments after he gets out of the car, mentally readying herself– and then suddenly he’s there, opening the door for her and holding out a hand to help her onto her feet, and I love the symbolism of him aiding her through this almost as much as I loved the prolonged eye contact and hand holding ugh. The silent reassurance and support in the look he gives her? Help. Honestly I was hoping he’d hold out his arm and she’d take it so they’d walk into the place physically connected, but then it would have made her seem like someone who was more there for decoration than as his equal partner– ugh the power couple vibes were definitely strong. Loved that he continued to check in with her with little looks as they get inside and meet Cortes– also it just further reiterates that invisibility she has when she’s in her cleaning lady persona, considering Cortes saw her literally like 2 days ago in Robert’s office and yet doesn’t recognise her at all. I’ll acknowledge that it’s partly context (even if he thought he recognised her as the cleaning lady he’d seen, his brain would have convinced him that it didn’t make sense for her to be here like this now) but it’s definitely partly that he just didn’t see her, barely even looked at her in the office– even though he’s certainly looking today. This moment definitely highlights the way Arman saw her from the very start, even despite her wearing her cleaning lady invisibility cloak at the time, and it was unfathomable to him that anyone could overlook her. Ugh.  (Also sidenote: hearing Arman say his name with the real accent during their introduction, rather than the Anglicised version, was super hot).  Also omg catch me dying over Cortes saying  “Me, I at least like a date before I jump into bed with someone, if you know what I mean” and the way Armony look at each other as Arman says “We feel exactly the same way.” Bc actually, you guys don’t just like ‘a date’ first, you like to completely entwine your lives and create an unbreakable bond of mutual trust and devotion before you get to the jumping in bed part hahaha. (and while I’m more than happy to wait for that bed part, please god let them it be coming at some point lol). Anyway I love that when they first sit down, he immediately orients his body towards Thony with his arm along the couch behind her, making the distance between them feel smaller ugh. Tbh I was surprised by how quickly their ‘date’ ended; and while he played it cool, Arman was clearly eager to wrap things up and get Thony out of there– and maybe Cortes picked up on that, or maybe not. Either way ugh this is the second time in only a few weeks that Arman has been forced to leave a woman he cares about in the company of a dangerous man; but at least with Nadia and Robert, he knew she was going to be safe. Leaving Thony must have been so much harder for many reasons, and tbh I think if he had seen in her eyes that she couldn’t handle being left behind, he would have done whatever it took to get her out of there with him. But Thony is badass and brave and did what had to be done, and that’s one of the many reasons why he loves her.

(Lol like halfway into the ep and already over 6.5k words. I am a mess. As much as I disapprove of them making Arman disappear for the rest of the ep, I do appreciate that it might be the only thing that saves me from myself haha)

Okay Garrett’s “He left her there” better not have any judgement in it, bc seriously boy you’ve seen how much Arman protects Thony– agreeing to the sting to take down Hayak, arguing for her to be let go when they were caught with the meds, etc– so don’t act like he would just willingly leave her in the clutches of a man like Cortes! Grrr. Anyway I just noticed Garrett is still wearing his wedding ring?? (and that Oliver has a finger tatt, lol). Honestly mate I think you’d be better off giving up on that one… especially since you are clearly not over Maya (wait do I ship it? Oh god maybe a little. gross)

Oh man, forcibly prolonged interactions with strangers are already so awkward, and this is even worse given the whole practically being kept captive thing. Like how much time has passed already? When did they move to sit by the pool?  What have they been talking about? Has he actually asked anything about the drugs, which was her main argument for her being brought along in the first place? (Sidenote: just noticed this actor has forearm tatts that have been covered up, and I think they did the same for the actor playing JD bc I noticed something on his bicep last ep. How rude that they rob me of my chance to be nosy lol). But anyway omg “And how long have you and Arman been together?” / “Just a few months now,” (truth) ”but we’re not together, we’re business partners.” (lie lol). Well I guess it’s not so much a lie as it is not quite the truth. And haha “You could have fooled me” – I love this line because technically they are fooling him rn, but clearly not about their relationship lol. Like seriously, even this aloof criminal who saw them together for like all of five minutes could see what was between them. Ngl everyone can see that there’s something there, including Thony and Arman themselves, but they both refuse to acknowledge it openly because they’re too afraid of what it’ll mean if they do. Because think about it– what if one of them tells the truth about how they feel, and the other chooses not to take their relationship any further? Thony’s all too aware of Arman’s sense of obligation towards Nadia, and Arman’s afraid he’s too much of a liability to be worth the risk to Thony, especially when her family has to come first. And then there’s the even more terrifying option– what if they tell the truth and find that the other wants to be with them too, but then things fall apart later on?? After everything she went through in her relationship with Marco, Thony is afraid to trust someone with her heart (and Luca’s) again, and it would just be so hard to believe that someone used to the kind of upscale, intoxicating life that Arman has led could ever be happy in the simple family life that she has. Meanwhile Arman has always viewed himself as unworthy of her, and is afraid that someday she would realise it and abandon him, like so many others in his life have done. (Isabel, his parents, Hayak, and to an extent, Nadia). And so anyway with all of that, are we really surprised that neither of them will actually step up and say how they feel???  

Wait dude it’s lunch time rn? So this guy has already had two glasses of wine before lunch on a weekday? Sorry bud but I have some professional advice for you regarding the level of your alcohol consumption lol. Also that huge plate of spaghetti and garlic bread is making me wonder how your cholesterol’s looking haha (says the girl who would absolutely demolish that meal given the opportunity lol). But anyway live fast die young I guess lol

Aww I love that Fi called JD! It’s so nice to see her having someone to lean on other than just Thony (who, lbr, is dealing with enough of her own shit) and ugh JD is so steady and kind (and tall. and cute. Have I mentioned lately that I ship it?). Honestly I was so nervous for her when she told him the truth about Chris– the fact that she did shows how close they really must have been when they were together– and his compassion for her made me love him so much. It makes sense that she can trust him about this though; he’d never do anything to hurt Jazz, and having her mother and brother jailed or deported is just about the worst thing he could possibly do to her. And that’s not to mention how much he cares about Fi herself, and Chris too, who he would have been a dad figure to when Chris was only a few years old ugh

And speaking of Chris– oh you foolish boy. You’ve really gone and done it now, putting your face and your name out there. Such a relief that JD got him out of there in time– hopefully they can come up with a plausible excuse for his visit before Flores comes knocking, for example that he came bc he wanted to request that if they found the video of Marco’s death, could they not tell his mom about it because he’s worried that it would hurt her too much to see it. But anyway ugh JD telling Chris he needs to forgive himself for the death he caused– I can imagine that a soldier who spent years at war knows a little about that. As much as I wanted a chance to see Arman bond with Chris, I definitely want to see JD & Chris bonding more (Arman can claim the Hot Uncle role later; let’s work on Hot Husband and Hot Stepdad first lol)

But ugh omg this whole conversation between J-Fi about when they split up and why she didn’t tell him she was undocumented and whether he would have proposed?? Helpp??? I am such a sucker for stories about people who love each other but who are kept apart by circumstances outside of their control– ideally I want the barriers between them resolved pretty quickly (Armony are definitely in this category lol) but I also love those like J-Fi, who get a second chance years later.  So c’mon writers, send the girlfriend on her way and give us the J-Fi we deserve lol

Lol guess who learned something new today? I was all like ‘why does Arman call it Sportsbook when Nadia and Robert both call it Fast Lane??’ –  well fun fact, a sportsbook is an establishment that takes bets on sporting events and pays out winnings. Clearly I am not a gambler or a televised sports enthusiast lol. But anyhow damn, respect to Nadia for dictating the terms of her business arrangement with Robert; she literally rocked up and bossed him around and he practically thanked her for it god I’m starting to get dom/sub vibes here too lol. But anyway Robert makes her feel admired and respected and wanted, whereas lately Arman has (unintentionally) made her feel tolerated rather than appreciated– while he does care for her greatly, I think he holds a subconscious level of resentment towards her, as the thing that stands in the way of what he wants above all else. And she can sense that, even when he’s not aware of it himself. But oooh her expression when Robert commented on the ring and how lovely it looks on her– I think she now sees that Arman was right, and Robert views it as a symbol of her connection to him rather than Arman, proof of him staking his claim. Interested to see what she does with that knowledge– like I said in another meta, I want her to use Robert and then throw him under the bus to take his kingdom right out from under him lol, but I guess I’ll have to wait and see on that one.

The fact that none of the many many guards at this very isolated property have noticed the random car hanging out nearby is a little ridiculous lol. As is the fact that Garrett gets into the compound by sneaking past when their backs are turned– Cortes should definitely fire every one of these goons lol

Ugh Thony looking out the window as if for rescue; makes me think of her “he always shows up when I need him” statement. She knows Arman can’t come for her right now– and in fact, by getting the drug handover done, he is literally doing everything he can to get her her freedom as soon as possible– but she still can’t help but wish for him to appear. And then lol at the ‘well, shit’ expression on her face when Maya walks in. I actually really enjoy the way these two interact, and how they both try to protect the other– Maya by warning her to get out and away from Cortes asap, and Thony by trying to convince her to do the same. Totally in love with the little ‘oh, honey’ look that Thony gives Maya when she learns of her relationship with Garrett; lbr Thony can definitely relate to falling in love with someone she probably shouldn’t have, but at least for her that someone is a man who will literally always put her before himself, which is clearly something Maya didn’t get from Garrett. But while he may be a selfish asshole, Thony knows he really has been trying hard to protect Maya, and that there are good sides to him– certainly far more than Cortes, who is only ever going to hurt her worse and worse until one day she ends up dead. Honestly when Thony said she’d been with someone who hurt her too, I gasped aloud, because I have always believed that Marco (while definitely abusive in multiple other ways) was never physically abusive towards her. I always felt that while Thony accepted/tolerated a certain level of his emotional/financial/social abuse, she would never have tolerated him getting physically violent with her, partly because she has too much fire in her for that, but mainly because she wouldn’t have been able to trust that that violence wouldn’t eventually be turned on Luca, and she could never allow that. So her comment to Maya had me all like omg?!??, and then she added ‘not physically’ and I was just like jesus don’t scare me like that lol. Also later she tells Maya “The way he treats you is not love” and honestly this line says so much. And tbh anyone who judges Thony for ‘cheating’ on Marco– a man who abused her for years and put their son’s health at further risk, and who she could not legally separate herself from/who made it financially almost impossible for her to escape from– can piss right off imo

Anyway omg when Thony had Cortes’ gun to her head ugh… my poor baby deserves all the peace and happiness in the world and yet she gets so much fear and suffering instead. I loved seeing Maya rescue her though, and then Thony immediately trying to rescue her right back– as ever, this show is THE BEST when it comes to women helping other women. And ugh they looked like such a badass duo there facing off against Cortes, Thony staying close by her side and giving her her strength and support. But ugh he did what abusers do and weaseled his way closer until he was almost able to strike– if he’d gotten the gun from Maya, they’d both have been dead in seconds. Which is why I’m pretty much on Garrett’s side when it comes to shooting him tbh; I know that a cop shooting an unarmed man is terrible, but in this context it was the right call, because like I said, he was literally moments from killing them. And to allow one or both of them to be hurt/killed before he could be ‘legally’ taken out is just insane. Damn at Garrett’s trust in his aim though– Cortes and Maya were standing very close– and daaaaaaamn at Thony’s quick thinking (she has learned a few things from being in Arman’s world lol). Honestly so proud of the fact that she did that for Garrett; she and Maya could have just stood there and done nothing, and then told the FBI the truth about what happened– and they would have likely faced no consequences, while Garrett would be hauled away for manslaughter or something (I assume?). But Thony understands that legal and illegal don’t always match up with right and wrong, and she knows that Garrett just saved both of their lives– and so in return, she saves his freedom. It’s going to make their dynamic even more interesting now, and tbh I can’t wait to see more of how they interact and help each other in the future, especially now that he will literally never threaten or blackmail her ever again. 

Anyway, not sure what I’ll be stressing over more between now and next ep– Thony getting caught for her aiding and abetting (because as @enigmaticfox brilliantly pointed out, Thony put the gun in Cortes’ left hand, but we definitely saw earlier that he’s right-handed ugh), or Flores looking into Chris, or the (thankfully unlikely) possibility that Arman had a run-in with Sin Cara when trying to get the drugs and ended up in a world of trouble of his own aaaaahhhh (for once I’m actually tempted to watch the promo for next ep, but nah, I’ll just suffer in suspense instead lol)

Alright that’s all for 2x06, kids. See you in a couple of weeks with a recap which will undoubtedly break 10k based on how quickly things are going downhill with my self control lol

THE CLEANING LADY 2x05 The Brit

Arman, what happened?... I'm going to help you, okay?

TCL 2x04 recap

Well, I definitely didn’t lie when I said this one was going to be long. Help.

(To anyone who actually makes it through this entire thing, I salute you. I swear I’m going to try to tone it down next week haha).

Ok I’m gonna try and be relatively short and to the point (heh, good f*ckin luck) about all the non-Armony stuff, because oh boy do I have a lot to say about those scenes. Lord.

I would have paid to see Thony and Fi manage to get Mr Motel Moustache (MMM) into that laundry thing lol. Maybe they tipped it on its side and kind of just shoved him in??

Well at least the show is actually continuing to demonstrate Chris experiencing the effects of trauma rather than just brushing it off the way so many shows do, so that’s something?

Lol no Maya, Garrett and Thony are not sleeping together (never ever gonna happen lol, hallelujah), but she is romantically entangled with a mob boss, so you guys do have that in common haha. But oh ok so it was Robert (or one of his lackeys) who hurt Maya?? Also if they have eyes on her 'at all times' how the hell did she manage to come to a FBI agent’s house in broad daylight?

Sigh. Fi. Thony didn’t answer her phone because she was being blackmailed by Garrett, and had to do what he wanted to protect you… though lbr Thony just needs to start telling Fi everything, bc it would solve a lot of problems. Also I’m so stoked that MMM is alive after all, since dealing with a live threat is so much more interesting than dealing with disposing of a body lol 

I honestly wonder how many people Arman has killed. The ones we’ve seen– Jimmy in 1x03, the bald guy in 1x07, and Hayak– were all situations where he didn’t really have a choice; Jimmy stole from Hayak, so killing him was the expected action (plus, it indirectly protected Thony by satisfying Hayak of her loyalty). Then the bald guy was to save his own life, considering he’d have been dead if Hayak found out about him selling the guns, and killing Hayak was obviously self defense. I think those killings he could make peace with (well… maybe not Hayak so much; I desperately want him to break down to Thony about that one at some point, though I doubt the show will give that to us). But anyhow, he’s never going to be able to be okay with taking a life for Robert. Especially not the life of one of Robert's debtors, someone whose situation is not so different from his own, now. 

Oooh Nadia is pushing for the street drugs– is my prediction gonna come true?? I love that last ep, Arman was telling Thony that they needed to consider Nadia’s idea of selling more lucrative drugs, but now he’s defending Thony’s refusal to Nadia and telling Nadia that they’re not drug dealers. Sounds like someone took Thony’s words to heart… also omg writers please stop dropping hints about Sin Cara killing Bosco!! Don’t you know he’s my boy???

Nadia is all pleased by Arman’s jealousy towards Robert– but is that really what it is? Like okay sure maybe a little (it would be weird to have to deal with your wife’s first love) but I wonder if Arman’s disgust is more about the way Robert looks at her like a prize he wants to win; like an object, which firstly Arman hates because she’s so much more than that, but also because it reminds him that both of them are just objects in Robert’s eyes; not people who came from nothing and made something of themselves, but just playthings for his amusement. I do appreciate that she has a similar reaction to his suggestion that he collect debts for Robert– reminding him he’s more than that, more than just a tool to be used. And lol gotta love Arman’s very half-hearted response to her hug haha, like yesss if I’m gonna have to see physical affection between these two, I want it to be as reluctant as possible on his part lol.

(Btw Arman must have gotten some excellent quality bruise cream bc his swelling and bruising has settled down a hell of a lot in the last like 12 hours lol)

Damn Thony that’s some good tying– “The harder you pull, the tighter they get”?? Where did you learn that one, huh?? Also love that she thought ahead enough to bring a sedative haha– like what other interesting things are in that big bag?? Clearly not rope tho lol

Oh Chris. Poor sad boy. Much trauma. That mirror shot was cool tho

Lol Fi bouncing around like a ping pong ball while Thony just stands there. At least Thony has seen the truth of it– the video is not the real problem here, the problem is the guy who can use what he knows against them– and she has already seen what the end result will have to be. And of course she knows exactly who can help save them from this problem. Also excuse me “He’s not family”– um correction, Fi, he’s not family yet. But give him and Thony a little more time and soon you’ll be calling him your sort-of-brother-in-law lol

I am surprised to admit this, but I kind of enjoy the dynamic between Garrett and new agent guy? Garrett is like a puppy who desperately wants to come play with the other agent dog and his toys lol, it’s almost (almost) endearing. And agent guy has a great voice. 

Oh god Thony. Could you maybe put some gloves on rather than just touching everything with your bare hands??? Also this searching is so inefficient lol, lbr it must be that she’s already decided deep down that she’s gonna call Arman and so she’s just doing this cursory effort at a search so she doesn’t feel like she lied to Fi haha. Also damn this is another good song, if anyone finds out what it is let me know! I’m still bummed that Savage from last ep isn’t on Spotify

Okay can I just point out that if there are outstanding debts that Arman could collect for Robert that he hadn’t ever expected to get back… then he’s a pretty forgiving loan shark?? Also I highly doubt he has a shortage of people on staff to go and make those collections for him… but I guess the whole appeal of the deal is that he gets to feel like he owns Arman (aka the man that Nadia chose) specifically, and is able to make him do his bidding. I have to say I am starting to get Robert’s casting a little more; they needed someone older than Arman and with a bit of gravitas, because no way would Arman be able to deal with taking orders from someone younger and less polished. And Naveen is doing a good job of making Robert a little more nuanced; there’s a surprising edge of vulnerability to him when he talks about Nadia, which actually seems sincere (and she certainly seems to take it as such)-- well, either that, or it’s some very impressive manipulation.  I love Arman literally turning away as he thinks through the offer, which is interesting symbolism as it leaves Nadia and Robert looking at each other behind his back.  He wants to protect her– he doesn’t want her to be subjected to being a plaything for Robert, like he already is– but he also sees the value in taking the offer (it could get them free of him so much faster) and he respects her ability to decide for herself.  But lol “You’re both mine” I think Robert’s over here planning to start a harem haha

You know I was literally wondering like a day before the ep aired who looks after Luca when the kids are at school and Thony and Fi are at work?? This woman seems lovely but there is NO reason for a character to be that pregnant unless they’re going to pop out a baby in like the IMMEDIATE future. Is Chris going to have to deliver this kid????? Also ugh Fi and Chris, these two are nailing these emotional scenes

Arman I am very much enjoying your costume change from suave businessman to hired-muscle-slash-runway-model lol. As much as I enjoy the suits, I vote the black tshirt/jeans/leather jacket combo stays forever. But omg the whole jockey thing? Like ngl I enjoyed it, but man it treaded close to the line of being a little too comedic/slapstick for this show’s vibe– thankfully it didn’t cross the line, but it was close. Maybe the point of choosing this kind of setting /character was to highlight how far Arman has been dragged down from his cool and untouchable mob boss persona of S1, that he is now subjected to the indignity of having to physically chase a debtor like a farmer trying to catch a chicken– not to mention getting his ass handed to him by a guy half his size. Been a long time since you’ve had to do this kind of grunt work, hey buddy?  

God, when he answers her call he doesn't even look at the screen, just hits the button and says her name– how the hell did he know it was her?? Does he have a special vibration alert for her specifically or???? (Most likely it was just to do with the editing of the shots, but I choose to believe that he does have different vibration tones– one for her,  one for Nadia, and then one for all other calls. That way he can know immediately if it’s a call he needs to take). But ugh are you kidding me with this?? The look on his face when she says she needs his help? Like his whole day just completely turned around lol. (Definitely makes me think back to Nadia calling him out– “You love the way she looks at you when you do these things for her. You’re her hero.”). Also he can probably tell instantly from her tone that she’s not distressed, which means he can skip being worried and instead just be pleased that he’s going to get to see her and help her out and make her happy ugh. Of course he probably immediately asked if everything was okay, and sigh I really wish we got to hear that conversation and see his reaction as she told him the whole story about Marco’s death, bc oh man the face journey would have been beautiful. Sigh, just another to add to my list of things to fic, I guess.

Ngl I want to know how these two managed to program keycards for this specific door, since it would have had to be done through the computer system, but I’ll just let that slide lol. Also Fi’s “I wish I knew how to get through to him”-- just let him talk to Arman!! Who better to support a young man who has been through something traumatic and is struggling with having done something terrible?? They can go do something manly together, like idk smash things or Arman can teach him to drive or something, and Chris can talk to someone who is super freakin cool and who Gets It, and also Arman can bond with his future nephew and score points with both Thony and Fi at the same time??? Win win for everybody??  

I love the way Thony tells Fi that she called Arman. She says it in a quick little burst, her body tense but expression determined, because even though she hates going against Fiona’s express wishes, she knows it was the right option– their only option. The whole situation is overwhelming, and Fi needs Thony’s strength and support to get her through it– but Thony can’t carry that kind of weight alone. She, in turn, needs Arman’s strength and support to get her through it. And honestly to her it would seem so clear cut; it’s not just that Arman has ~experience~ with this kind of thing (even though yes, that’s definitely part of it), but it’s also just that– aside from Fi of course– Arman has become her Person?? Some things are too big to be handled alone, and whenever that happens, Arman is the one she turns to, because she knows he will always be there for her, just like she knows she would do whatever she could to be there for him as well. Fi doesn’t get that yet; she sees Thony running off at all hours to do things for Arman, and thinks that it’s because he has power over her or that Thony feels she is indebted to him for helping Luca. She has this caricature in her head of him, this ruthless mobster type who has Thony firmly under his control (likely influenced by whatever shit Marco spouted about him), and so that’s why she reacts to seeing him the way that she does. Well, okay, she also reacts to the fact that he looks like a goddamn movie star, but a big part of her response is the fact that she was expecting some cold-blooded criminal to stride in with his gun drawn and shoot their unarmed captive in the head/violently torture the password out of him before walking out again with some vague threat about how Thony will owe him big for this. (Just roll with me here; I maintain that this is legit and that Fi has as much of an imagination as I do lol). So that’s what she’s fearing when Arman turns up at the door, but instead she gets faced with this leather-jacketed Adonis who immediately looks her in the eye and introduces himself to her, then quietly and compassionately swears to her that he’s going to help her. Honestly her reaction was so perfect (ngl, I let out an embarrassingly high-pitched shriek of laughter at “call me whatever you want”, bc same, girl, same) and it was just so goddamn relatable omg???

In fact, I guess now is a good time for me to admit something… that I have actually personally been subjected to the fun game of ‘Surviving In The Presence Of Adan Canto’ irl. He was on the same flight to Albuquerque as my friend and I when we visited in July, and I ended up having to stand literally right in front of his seat for probably a solid minute waiting for other passengers in the aisle to store their bags and move out of the way (god, I am forever grateful to them for taking their sweet time haha). To be fair, he's maybe slightly less potent in a tshirt/jeans/ball cap combo than in the fancy Arman suits or the leather jacket, but still, holy shit. My friend said that when I turned around to stare at her after first spotting him, it was the most genuinely alarmed she's seen me look in 11 years of friendship lol– thank god that having a mask on gave me a chance to control my face pretty quickly haha! Sadly our seats were at the totally opposite end of the plane to his though, so by the time we disembarked, he was long gone. Not that I would have approached him anyway of course (it was like 11pm, dude was probably just wanting to get home asap) but ngl another glimpse would have been more than welcome haha. (Oh and @enigmaticfox can absolutely attest to the truth of all of this, since I literally immediately paid for in-flight wifi just to be able to scream at her over whatsapp lol.)  

But anyway, the point of all that was to say: Fiona, I get you, girl.

Okay back to the motel room. I freakin love Arman’s surprised little smile at Fi’s response to him; I’m sure he’s had many people have all kinds of ~reactions~ to his hotness, but Fiona is different– because aside from Luca, she’s the most important person in Thony’s life, and boy is he desperate for her approval. Like ugh that pleased little face practically shouts "yes! I'm gonna get a good grade in Impressing My Future Sister In Law, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve!" (...actually, I guess it kind of is? lol). And then ughhhh in addition to the Arman Hotness™ he turns on the full powers of the Arman Compassion™ all while standing  right there at Thony’s side like it’s where he belongs. And THEN it gets worse????? He goes to check out what he’s going to be dealing with, and lord I can absolutely picture him seeing the guy’s bound hands and literally stopping in his tracks, eyebrows shooting sky high. I am honestly grateful there was no one to witness the look on my face when he stepped back out of the bathroom and asked her in that I’m trying so hard to be cool and casual about this right now tone whether she was the one that tied him up, and she clearly can’t quite figure why he’s asking– did she not do it right? Did he disapprove for some reason?-- and then when she confirms it (with just the tiniest hint of defensiveness) he immediately morphs from that wide-eyed blushing emoji to the fucking smiling devil emoji omg. “I see you’ve learned a few things” EXCUSE ME MR MORALES WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DO THAT WITH YOUR FACE AND YOUR VOICE AND YOUR EVERYTHING??? I would personally like to sue this scene for emotional damages because I am absolutely a victim here lol. I think Fi might feel the same, based on the way she looks at Thony; I honestly can’t decide if it’s more “What the hell kind of criminal shit have you been getting up to with this guy??” or “What the hell kind of kinky shit have you been getting up to with this guy??”  (Maybe both?? Let’s go with both haha.) And lollllll forever at Thony just closing her eyes– what a super awkward time to be suddenly very turned on, hey Thony??????

Phew okay honestly I almost appreciate the scene switch to Nadia and Robert purely for some recovery time haha. I like that Nadia isn’t so much ‘working’ for Robert as just getting to do something she enjoys– which is the act of influencing people (especially men) into doing what she wants them to do. It’s a fascinating character trait and I really enjoy seeing the way she uses it on both Arman and Robert in slightly different ways. It’s also very interesting to consider the contrast between how she gets Arman to do what she wants vs how Thony does; Nadia is clever with her words and with her emotions, always knowing which buttons to push and in what order, partly due to her natural talent and partly due to knowing him so long. (Of course, he knows her, too, which means he knows that at any time he might be being deliberately manipulated).  Whereas Thony just comes to him with such earnest openness– there’s no manipulation or guile to her interactions with him (the one time she tried, in 1x05, it was under significant duress and she still couldn’t go through with it because she cared too much about what would happen to him ugh) and god, that must be so damn refreshing for him. Conversely, I think Robert actually loves being manipulated by Nadia. He’s so powerful and untouchable that no one dares to challenge him at all anymore, but Nadia is different; she’s known him since the start, and she’s not scared of him, so there is a kind of teasingly adversarial nature to their interactions that he clearly can’t get enough of.  

Arman, staring at the cord tightly binding the guy’s wrists: “don’t fantasize about it, don’t fantasize about it, don’t– shit too late” lolllll. Got a little bit of a thing for bondage, huh Arman?? Don’t worry, I’m sure Thony will be very willing to demonstrate her technique for you someday not too far from now.  (Seriously, this ep killed me with the sexual tension. It’s like the intensity of the situation made these two forget that they’re supposed to be keeping their distance, and I LOVE IT).  But anyhow I love that they both take the opportunity to have a little catch up while standing over an unconscious dude in a bathtub lol. Ugh Thony’s concern for him and his situation with Robert– firstly because of the debt hanging over him, but also bc thanks to Maya, she knows Robert is both a) into some criminal shit and b) likely to be a person of interest to the FBI, meaning Arman’s connection to him will put him at risk from the FBI again. Arman is all too willing to answer any questions she has, and ugh at that open body language and the way he moves a little closer to her while they talk; meanwhile she’s got her arms folded again, just like I mentioned in my last recap– given we know how much she trusts him and feels safe with him, crossing her arms isn’t a sign of discomfort, but having to hold herself back from connecting  with him physically the way she wants to.  And ok yes, she’s fishing for info rn, but I have no doubt she’s going to tell him her concerns about Robert very soon. Now’s just not quite the time for that conversation haha (like I said, unconscious guy right there). But oh man I held my breath when he mentioned her meeting Robert– I assume it was Robert himself that mentioned Thony at some point, because I think it’s unlikely Thony would have brought it up and we already know Nadia is sticking with the story that she did all the work getting Arman out of jail. It makes sense to me that Thony didn’t tell Arman about the stripping down part, especially right now (again, unconscious guy), and tbh I’m glad, bc while I so desperately want him to know, I want him to find out from Robert himself, because I want him to go completely feral and attack him over it haha. (yes, I also have a WIP about this lol, and I know @chartreuseblueandyellow has already posted a fic which I can’t wait to read once I’m done with mine!). 

Poor Nadia. She talked all tough in front of Robert but honestly she’s perceptive enough to know how precarious their position is, that at any time Robert could tire of the game he’s playing with them and demand what he’s owed. She’s over here being deliberately sexy and charming and pushing Robert’s buttons– aka, playing her part– and where’s Arman? Skipping out on the job that he asked to do so he could go be with Thony (again, points to him for not lying about it tho). Honestly Nadia has every right to be pissed with him, and I’m happy she is, because it will lead to her pushing Arman away– which, conveniently, will allow him to continue on his path towards Thony. (I have an Ask to answer about the Nadia/Arman/Robert situation so I won’t go into it here). But anyway ugh this phone call is amazing because it makes it clear to both Thony and Fi that Arman is choosing to be here helping her even though it is causing issues in his marriage. Thony is clearly contrite about it– she knows the difficult position that their connection puts him in, the way it divides his loyalties, but she still can’t keep herself from repeatedly reaching out to him– but ugh “it’s never a problem for you to call” (translation: please please call me more, I will take any excuse I can get to see you, I will always be there for you) and then that eye contact??? Rude. I’m sad the shot ends a bit abruptly because I wanted to see more of Fi being like HELLO I AM STILL HERE AND SO IS THE UNCONSCIOUS GUY CAN THE EYE LOVE-MAKING WAIT UNTIL THIS SHITSHOW IS OVER PLEASE– and then the two of them do some awkward throat clearing and be all like “uh right so the unconscious guy…” lol

Speaking of MMM, he’s still zonked,  and ugh I love the shot of the little trio standing over him. Absolutely fantastic choice to have Fi standing between Arman and Thony– firstly it shows she’s getting just a fraction more comfortable with him, and secondly it means we are blessed with her looking back and forth between them like she’s watching a very slow and emotionally charged tennis match lol. Forever crying about how he’s so matter of fact about it– “you two can go, i’ll take it from here”-- bc lbr from the moment he heard on the phone that the guy had been a witness to Thony being present at Marco’s death, he knew he was going to kill him. I’m glad though that Thony tells him no and tries to find another solution, because it shows him that she didn’t just blithely assume he would come kill for her, and also that she is trying to protect him too by finding some other way to neutralise the guy without Arman having to get blood on his hands. I love his little smile as he gently explains Crime 101 to them (all witnesses gotta go)-- and then ugh she calls him out on the very notable exception, and omg THE NERVE OF THIS BOY to look at her with so much fucking softness and say “that’s because you’re different’. He doesn’t say ‘that’ was different, he says ‘YOU’RE’ different. Even from the start, he saw something in her, a similarity between them, a connection. He would never want to kill any innocent woman, but with her, taking her life would have felt like killing off something deep within himself, so instead he did the only thing he could do– he pulled her into his world, bringing her close, keeping her safe. So of course she’s different; she’s his, just like he is hers, each of them balancing out the other. Honestly this line was reminiscent of the ‘I’m in too deep now’ from 1x07 (but dialled up even further, ugh), and tbh I don’t know how Fiona was even able to stand being in that room with them right then lol, let alone literally in between them. Probably lucky she was, though, or they might have started making out right then and there, and the problem of MMM would never get solved lol

Uggghhh anyhow gotta move on. I love that Arman immediately relents when Thony insists on trying to scare MMM into silence first; he knows it won’t work, but he knows it’s important to her to try (and lbr, he’s already totally planning to come back and arrange an ‘accident’ for the guy later), so he helps her do what she needs to do. Not that he’s complaining; lbr he absolutely enjoyed showing off his sexy tough guy act for Thony, though not nearly as much as he enjoyed Thony’s quietly unhinged red market organ harvester act. The way his eyes go from her– from her calm expression, her cool and collected movements– to MMM’s face, seeing the fear that she is able to inspire with just her words, it’s clear that he is INTO this. You can even see him swallow hard at one point when she’s laying her hand over MMM’s liver, and honestly this scene is just Too Goddamn Much for me ugh. It’s not only the sexual tension (tho ngl I am getting some strong roleplay kink vibes here, y’all, particularly with a little light dom/sub flavour, lord help me) but it’s also the new level of understanding between them, the perfectly cohesive partnership, and what it means for both of them– for Thony, it’s knowing she can take charge and do something both risky and unfamiliar, and that she will be completely supported by him; for Arman, it’s seeing that Thony is not afraid to step deeper into the shadowy world he inhabits, that she can accept the darker side of him and all the terrible things he has done out of necessity, because she understands. I also love that their knees are just touching as she threatens MMM, a tiny physical reminder of that connection and support. The only shot I couldn’t quite figure out was Arman’s expression when she says that she’ll take the guy’s heart too, and that it sells for $1M– but I decided that it was him mentally being like ‘wait is that actually true???’ lol. Too bad you already gave your heart to Thony for free, huh Arman? :P  But ugh the way he looks up at her for her decision after the guy tells them where to find the file, and the smooth command in her voice as she tells him to stay there while she goes and checks it out-- like I said, the dom/sub vibes are REAL here kids (if you hear some kind of distant screeching/wailing sound, don’t worry, that’s just me not being able to deal with this in the slightest)

Ugh thank god, watching Fi be devastated by the video is actually easier to watch than any of that previous scene lol. I love Thony being savvy enough to wipe the drive, though I wish she’d been equally savvy in wearing some goddamn gloves so they didn’t now have to clean every inch of this room. But oooh the way Fiona is starting to see Thony more clearly now and realising that there is more to her connection to Arman than she’d previously assumed. I was worried when she said Thony was different with Arman; worried she meant it in a negative way, that she might judge what Thony had done, or act like her connection with Arman had tainted her somehow. But then instead she brought up Thony’s trust in him, and it was like ohhhhhhhhhh. Because in that bathroom Fi saw the side of Thony she used to see way back in her surgeon days– the decisiveness and the proficiency, the confidence and the self-assurance of someone feeling completely secure in the situation she was in. Of course, that side of her hadn’t completely disappeared in the time since she’d left work to have Luca, but it was rarer now, tempered by the constant strain she was under and the complete lack of support she received from anyone (other than the limited kind that Fi herself could provide). But with Arman, she is able to become that person again, because she knows she can trust him to be there, to support her in whatever way she needs. Fi knows it even before Thony confirms it (we’ve already heard her explicitly say that she trusts him, and have seen evidence of it countless times, but still, I died at the conviction in that ‘yes') and then ugh the “because he always shows up when I need him”. Honestly, the Backstreet Boys really captured it with “I don’t care who you are/ Where you’re from/ What you did/ As long as you love me” lol; Thony doesn’t care about Arman’s past, or that he sometimes has to do bad things– not only does she know the world is far more complicated than simply being split into Good and Bad (she’s even said as much, when detained with Garrett in 1x09), but Arman has also proven himself to her, proven that he’ll always be there when she needs him, that she matters to him in a way Marco never showed her. I often noticed the contrast between Marco and Arman in S1 in relation to Thony, how one of them would always only add to her burden while the other would always try to lighten it in any way he could. (Even in death, Marco added to that burden, but here Arman is, taking care of her yet again). But anyway ugh Thony swearing to Fi that she would do anything for their family but that sometimes that way is not going to be the way they want definitely ties back to Arman’s line in 1x01 about doing things ‘any way you can’.  And idk maybe it’s just me but “sometimes things just happen the way they happen” sure sounds a lot like “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall in love with a mob boss while still married to your brother, but here we are” lol. In which case, Fi’s acceptance with ‘Bahala Na’ could have a whole other level to it– whatever happens with Thony and Arman, happens… 

Well, those USBs were a lucky find lol. But ugh Arman’s concern when they come back into the room looking upset, and the freakin predatory glint he gets in his eyes when he says ‘he lied to us’ (idk why the us has me so affected lol, it’s the logical word choice, but damn if it doesn’t make me feel like he’s a member of the family now).  Poor Thony is so rattled tho– tbh she’d known right from the start that MMM was a problem that would need to be eliminated, and what that would likely mean, but then the apparent success of their little roleplay had really had her believing that silencing him could be achieved without bloodshed. But now she knows the truth, sees that Arman knew it all along. And I love that he knows she understands now, so he just lets her process and focuses on Fiona instead, all gentle and calm and reassuring with “You don’t have to. I promised to protect your family. I’ll take care of it.” Which, firstly, (*muffled screaming*) and secondly, according to Wiki, one of the meanings for Bahala Na– other than whatever happens, happens– is “I’ll take care of things”.  Which kinda seems slightly contradictory, but still, I love that through this other meaning, Arman is part of their Bahala Na pact with them. (Ngl I’m totally gonna adopt this concept in my own life, I love it.) Anyway I feel like the stunned look in her eyes is not just about the fact that MMM is going to have to die, but also that Arman is so prepared to do it for them. She still hasn’t clicked to the fact that Arman would do anything for Thony, which I guess is fair, considering this is the first time she’s even seen them together– but I think after this, the image she had in her head of the ruthless mob boss keeping Thony trapped in his grip is certainly going to be gone, replaced by that of a man with a complicated past who truly cares about (loves) her best friend. But anyway ugh the way Thony reached for Arman, holding on for that brief moment as she accepted what was about to happen– the touch both a request and an acknowledgement; she knows what needs to happen, and what will happen no matter what, but she still gives Fiona agency in that choice, just like Arman did for her earlier when he agreed to her plan. And the fact that she acknowledges that Chris is Fi’s son and so the decision is up to her shows that she is really listening to her and respecting her position in this situation, especially considering how Fi told her earlier in the ep that calling Arman wasn’t her decision to make. God this show is just freakin incredible with the nuance in its character interactions, I honestly can’t. (Also damn, Martha knocked this scene out of the fucking park, omg. What a queen.)

I also just cannot deal with Arman’s entire everything as he leans there against the counter (so goddamn rude, sir) or the small nod he gives Fi. But ugh then when Thony’s eyes lift to his, clearly pained, and he gently reassures her that it’s okay– he knows her hesitation is partly about the fact that she’s literally condemning a man to death, but lbr he also knows it’s more about the fact that he is going to have to be the one to carry that weight on his shoulders. He knows it, just like he knew in 2x02 that when she said she felt like she’d failed everyone, she wasn’t talking about Marco. And so when he says it’s okay, it’s not just ‘it’s okay, you had no choice, the guy had to die’, but ‘it’s okay. I choose to do this, and you don’t need to regret it, because I won’t.’ Ugggggghhhhhh. Honestly i cannot wait for their next scene together, because the way they look at each other after being even more deeply connected in this way is going to be A Lot. (And considering how intensely they already look at each other, I’m probably not going to survive this. Ah well, at least I'll die happy lol) 

Ok gotta say I’m definitely noticing a change in Garrett this season. I think it’s partly bc his dog-with-a-bone attitude isn’t being directed at Arman so much anymore, now that he’s caught up with getting Maya free of Cortez– he really does seem to care about Maya, and though he was blowing up thony’s phone with calls, he was begging for her to hand over the cloned phone rather than threatening her. I think he resorted to the threats last ep because he had to, but never had the intention of following through or continuing to make her work for him; it’s clear he has a soft spot for Thony and wants to help her when he can, and I liked that he actually showed genuine appreciation for her help, and that he agreed that it was a one-time thing– that she had done her part and he wouldn’t demand any more of her. At this stage it probably seems to him there's nothing else she could do anyway, though if he finds out she's connected to RK, that will almost certainly change… I also appreciated that when Fi called for Thony to help with the pregnant lady, he immediately checked if they needed extra help. And oh man I think I'm actually developing a weird grudging almost-fondness for him a little bit?? Like he's still an absolute jackass, but he's our jackass??  Tbh this must be how Russo feels lol

Wow Robert is clearly really enjoying having Nadia around haha. Can’t say I blame him, and tbh the ‘why are you asking me, I’m not your boss’ line was actually pretty good lol. (I feel like I need to add in a permanent disclaimer here: I still hate him and tbh hope he dies by the end of the season kill him Thony but his scenes with Nadia so far are not bad to watch). I can’t be bothered to say anything more about this scene– this is already so long, and I’m gonna talk more about these two in an Ask shortly– but basically I’m glad to see them getting closer, because it’s exactly what the season needs.

Ugh I have listened to this song (Mother, by Byland) so many times, and the vibes it gives about this show are so good. I liked the juxtaposition of Thony bringing a life into the world at the same time Arman was taking one out of it– it shows how they complement each other, how they fit together, ying-yang wise.  (Though dude it has to have been at least ten years since Thony delivered a baby, which is about the same as it has been for me, so damn I respect her doing that on her own without freaking out lol). Also I had a little giggle at Chris holding the baby– like oh ok sure, poor traumatised boy experiences the miracle of life and suddenly feels better. Congrats. I do hope the show won’t just have him be totally fine now– what he went through was huge and seeing the wrinkly little face of a fresh human is definitely not enough to erase that. But I guess we’ll see.

But anyway, I gotta say I respect MMM for just accepting his fate and not trying to yell or run. Sorry it had to be this way buddy, but you really did fuck up in threatening these two women specifically. Arman hesitating to shoot broke my heart a little; he really is a good man, and killing someone in self defense (eg Hayak, bald guy) is very different from an execution-style murder. I think it’s especially hard for him now because since knowing Thony, he has become more and more aware of that darker side of himself, and how much he hates it and wants to be better. But tonight at least, it’s that darkness that will keep Thony safe; left alive, this man will always be a threat to her, which is something Arman simply cannot allow. And it’s because of that– because of her– that he has the strength to pull the trigger. 

Okay jesus there we go. Almost 7k words later and I’m free of this episode haha. Like I said at the start (if any of you can even remember back that far) I am going to try and tone these down again from now on, but if y’all decide not to continue subjecting yourselves to these, I completely understand haha. But for any of you crazy masochists out there who want to continue– I’ll see you next week lol

he literally killed for her i’m so unwell, help.

Would love to help you Anon but unfortunately I am still caught in the flaming trashcan that is my emotional state after that episode

honestly though I have been hoping for quite a while now that we would see Arman kill for Thony-- I wish I was faster at writing/not distracted by so goddamn many ideas, bc I even have two WIP fics that involve it in some way-- but tbh I'm still in disbelief that we actually got it, especially like THAT. Not a heat-of-the-moment, defending-her-life kind of situation, but a clear and conscious choice to take on that burden, all so she would be safe from anyone being able to connect her to Marco's death. (Of course, he did it to help Fiona and Chris too, but I see it as very much a Mr Darcy helping Elizabeth's family situation: "You must know. Surely, you must know it was all for you" ughhh)

but anyway now all I need is for mine and @enigmaticfox 's prediction-- that late in the season, Thony will kill someone to protect Arman (either directly or indirectly; ngl I have a WIP half-written about both options lol)-- to come true, and then I will have truly reached the kind of fangirl nirvana that most can only dream of.....

(tags via OP)

Arman when he has to do things for a crime guy™️, which was always his job : “Ugh, 😭 I almost had to kill a man in front of his son, I’m so traumatized. Can you believe he would make me do that?”

Arman when Thony asks him for help: “🥰No I wasn’t busy at all, bother me any time. A threat to your family? He must die immediately. No problem, you go ahead and enjoy the rest of your day, I’ll just do murder and dispose of this body.”

This excellent meta was posted after 2x02 but in light of what happened in 2x03 -- or rather, what didn't happen with armony in 2x03 -- it feels like an important point to reiterate. Not much that I want to add on to it; I don't see the 'lack' of armony action as a regression or a return to the slowburn. If anything, I love how the way they relate to each other feels grounded and real: she's sceptical of his actions, he's not always agreeing with her, and they are preoccupied.. not with each other, for the time being. But all these simply creates the space for this thing between them (I never know what to call it, it defies description) -- its undercurrent, always there -- to grow.

And you can bet that even if any physical intimacy or closeness happened between Thony or Arman in the very next episode, or the next, or the next, it'll just continue to evolve and change in the journey towards endgame.

If Arman is being "unmasked" at the end of ep 2 and rising from ashes this season, wouldn't it make more sense for Thony to be there instead of Nadia? It seems like he is his most authentic self around Thony and she supposedly helps him want to be a better man. Curious to see where S2 goes with these new storylines.

Hi Anon! First off, I absolutely agree with you about Arman being more of his authentic self with Thony and wanting to be better because of her. The impact she has had on him is one of my favourite aspects of the show, as is his impact on her (showing her that she doesn't always have to carry everything alone, that she can be vulnerable and put her trust in someone without it being turned against her, that she matters as a person and not just as a mother or a doctor or any of the other roles she bears, etc etc. Lbr I could go on but that's not the point of this post haha).

Secondly, I'm gonna put the rest under the cut, because lbr we all know by now that being concise is not at all my strong suit lol. (Also I'm gonna tag @vampire-time-lady, as this might address your reply from my recap as well)

So anyway, here goes.

(Warning: while there are no overt spoilers ahead, vague themes/plot arcs for the season will be briefly mentioned. Enter at your own risk).

Okay so I'm just going to put it straight out there: I definitely don't think it makes more sense for Thony to be there at his release instead of Nadia. I mean, would I have loved to see Thony there waiting for him, and then the two of them running right into each other's arms the moment he stepped out of the gate? Of course!! I'm a freakin' Armony fanatic, and I may or may not even have an in-progress fic that might just involve something along those very lines! But while that scene would be a perfectly reasonable thing to occur in the setting of that particular fic, it doesn't make sense for canon. At least, not now; not yet. I have no idea if I'll be able to explain what I mean adequately at all, but I'll try.

I guess for me, the choices that were made for that scene can be broken down into two main aspects: narrative reasons and character reasons. The narrative reasons basically boil down to the fact that the writers are telling a multi-faceted story which needs to develop over the course of a season, and also have room to grow beyond that if they are fortunate enough to be picked up for a S3 (please, TV gods, please give us a S3).

So, the writers not only needed to set up all the stuff that is going to happen this season with Chris and Fi and Thony (and undoubtedly Arman too, because what involves Thony involves Arman, and vice versa lol) as a result of Marco's death-- and it also seems like there could potentially be a developing arc regarding Luca, and his grandfather wanting to take him back to the Philippines-- but the writers also had to highlight Arman and Nadia's relationship, because with the arrival of Robert and his connection to Nadia/his meddling in their gun business, it's clear that he and his agenda are going to play a significant role in the season. So, to put it simply: right now, Armony can't be the focus, because the show isn't there yet. Armony is the destination we're heading toward, and their respective plot lines-- Arman and Nadia/Robert on one hand, and Thony and Chris/Fi on the other-- are how we will get there. Because, like I said, what involves one involves the other, and by finding their way through these challenges together, that's how they'll finally find their way to each other. Season 1 certainly set them on that path, but even with the closeness they've gained already (the trust, the partnership, the physical and emotional intimacy), there are still plenty of barriers in the way before they can actually truly be together.

Which brings us to the character reasons! The basic gist of which is: life doesn't stop happening because two people hold hands across a table! Spouses and obligations don't magically disappear because one person implies to the other that she's staying in the country because of the connection they share! Humans and human relationships are complex and oh boy do these two exemplify that. I mean, consider the context of their situation. Like okay yes, just over a week ago, Thony was brave enough to show a little piece of her heart to Arman and indicate that she had some form of feelings for him (I say 'some form', because honestly there was enough ambiguity there that he couldn't have been 100% sure that she meant romantically), and his response clearly showed that he had feelings of his own (that smile! that eye contact!! aaaahh), and for that one brief shining moment, all the Armony stars aligned and they were finally on the same page.

But almost immediately after that, her son was abducted, and then she was being pulled in two directions between chasing after Luca and getting the money for Arman, her loyalties divided. And then in a single night, Arman was attacked and nearly killed, and Marco died a sudden and tragic death which traumatised her family and still has the power to destroy them if anyone finds out. Now she feels responsible for Marco's life being cut short, for the trauma Chris is going through, for the grief and fear Fi is going through, and for Luca's loss of his father, as well as for Arman nearly dying. Plus there's her own grief-- even if it's clear that she fell out of love with Marco a long time ago and that their marriage was well and truly over before she even came to the US, he was still the father of her child and someone she once cared for a great deal, and though he might have been an asshole, he didn't deserve to die.

So the poor woman has a lot on her plate, and that's not even counting the stress of the cops, or the in-laws, or the funeral arrangements, or balancing two very separate and fairly incompatible aspects of her life, all while trying to get Arman out of jail before she loses him too (deep down she knows how much harder that loss would be to bear). She is spread so thin, and under so much scrutiny, that she wouldn't even have the freedom to go pick him up from the prison even if she felt like she had the right to-- which, naturally, she doesn't. She is all too aware that he is married, and that her own connection to him falls within strict boundaries-- that their interactions, while clearly laced with an emotional and romantic undertone, have always had to be constrained to dealings regarding the business or Luca. Picking him up from his release from prison falls under neither of those categories, and honestly it probably wouldn't even occur to her that it might be her he wants to see there waiting for him rather than Nadia. Because when it comes down to it, she really doesn't know what their relationship means, or will mean; while she likely knows that his feelings for her are genuine, she can't be sure whether they will be enough for him to want to pursue something with her, given that doing so will mean he has to give up his marriage-- bc honestly, how could she truly know if he would be willing to take that gamble on a relationship that may not even work out??

As for Nadia-- honestly, I feel for her. She is still his wife, and his partner in both life and business, and she went to some pretty great lengths to get him free. She cares about him immensely, and it's only right that she's the one to be there at his release; plus it's what all three characters expect, tbh? Even if Arman would prefer to see Thony there waiting for him, he's still happy to see Nadia, and grateful for all that she did for him. He genuinely does love her, and even if that love may have now been surpassed by what he feels for Thony, it's not erased by it. And so if he and Nadia did kiss upon their reunion, it would absolutely make sense? A kiss can mean many different things; it can be romantic, sexual, obligatory, friendly, or familial, just to name a few possibilities-- and tbh it would be perfectly understandable for him to kiss her to show her his gratitude for helping to rescue him from prison, and to reassure her that he is okay after all he went through. It'd be rather a different kiss than the one he would have shared with Thony in that moment, but like I said, the show just isn't there yet with Armony. Which is why I think we should all prepare ourselves for quite a few Arman/Nadia scenes to come, and remind ourselves that each one is just another step on the way to the Armony endgame, because each one will be a reminder for Arman of who he really wants to be with.

And okay anyway I need to stop rambling and go to bed, but thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, and I am so sorry lol