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Fuck it - Matt Sturniolo - Part 9

Spotify playlist:

Authors notes:

I've been ill the past few days so I've had more time to complete this so hopefully its okay <33

Warnings: swearing, that's lowkey it

Word count: 3518

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

“Is this something we are meant to do?”

“Fuck it.”

Alyia’s pov:

“Are you going to go to that band thing then?” Jenny’s words simply go in one ear and out the other, all my focus being on the situation rather than her advice. “Ally.”

I peel my eyes away from the poster for a moment only so that I can look at Jenny, however, I immediately look back down when she glares at me. She stops staring just so that she can return to her locker and rearranging a few books.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking.” My eyes trace back down to the piece of paper that was in front of me, the number on the bottom drawing my attention each time.

“Why are you so nervous, you’re rarely nervous.” Jenny’s statement makes me sigh deeply and rub my face lightly.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s from being so used to practicing alone rather than with other people.”

“Except Matt.”

“Yeah…except Matt but you know what I mean. He’s different y’know, I’ve gotten used to him.” Immediately Jenny moves her head from behind her locker door and pushes it to, so that she can look at me.

“Sometimes I wish you could hear yourself talk to me.” Her eyes roll at me before fully shutting the door to focus on the conversation with me.

“What? What did I say?”

“Look, you got used to being around Matt easily enough, you just have to do that again, I still don’t really understand the issue here.” She suddenly gasps a little making me give her a weird look.

“Are you good..?”

“Are you worried that Matt might leave you for other band mates?”

“What. No.” I say quickly and shake my head at the comment. “If Matt wants to play with other people, then he can, who am I to stop him.”

“Alyia.” She practically face palms at my sentence, leaving me confused again.

“Whatever, are you meeting up with Matt later?”

“Oh, shit I’m meant to be there now, said we were gonna try something new or whatever.” My bag strap is adjusted on my shoulder, and I shift my weight from the locker door to my feet.

“I’ll see you at lunch, yeah?” Her voice is a little louder as I start to walk down the hallways. I just wave my hand and give a quick thumbs up before walking around a corner.

Thankfully, the music room wasn’t as far from Jenny’s locker as it was from mine, but I still give Matt a quick message.

Alyia🎸:

‘Sorry I’m taking so long, I’m omw now tho.’

Matt🥁:

‘Aight bet, cya in 5’

I quickly put my phone back into my pocket and started walking to the music room, feeling a faint breeze against my skin. As I reach the room I notice an abnormal silence, unlike the previous smashing of cymbals that I have been used to. I slowly placed my hand on the cold metal and push down on the handle, pushing it open to look for Matt inside. Once my eyes scan the room around me, I realize that Matt isn’t anywhere in the room, I let my bag fall off my shoulder and onto the floor, hitting something as it falls. Matt’s bag. My face scrunches up in slight confusion, trying to figure out where he went. However, that didn’t take long, as soon as I turn my body around, I see Matt reaching the door, breathing slightly heavier than normal.

“What the fuck?” my words emit around a laugh, covering my face with my hand momentarily.

“Damn it, was hoping I would beat you.” His body leans towards the doorframe, letting a hand drape just above his head, brushing the top of his hair.

“Beat me, beat me at what exactly?”

“Getting water.” He holds up a water bottle that’s mostly full, with the cap screwed on lop-sided. His smile is filled with some sort of pride, and I simply shake my head. “I was hoping that I could fill it and be back before you came here, kind of forgot you’re a fast walker.”

“You do realize how stupid you sound, right?” another weak laugh emits into my surrounding, making Matt smile once more. He laughs back before he sheepishly nods in response.

“yeahhh, a little.” I notice his eyes squint when he laughs, laughs properly at least, it makes me smile a little more.

We let out small laughs individually that mingle with our sighs as it dies down, pausing to grab our assigned instruments and sit down, now facing each other at a further distance.

“Anything you wanna practice today?” I shoot a quick glance in his direction, back and forth between him and the plugs to my guitar.

“Honestly, I just want to do something for tonight.” I let the plug dangle in my hand letting my attention fully focus onto matt, seeing him swing back and forth on his chair.

“Tonight..?”

“The club I told you about?” I raise an eyebrow at him slightly as he shifts his weight so that his hands drape over his thighs with his hands dangling off. “The first admissions for it are today.”

Shit.

“They are?” I try to act nonchalant with my words, but the slight hesitation was a dead giveaway.

“You forgot, didn’t you?”

“No, of course not…” I mess around with my guitar to avoid any eye contact with matt.

Truth is, I am way more scared than I should be about going to that club. I’m not one for anxiety and I tend to just get on with things but this time? I’m intimidated. And I don’t know how Matt is going to react to everyone in that room that has a significant amount more dedication than I do in their instruments. Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t want to abandon my morning routine with Matt, or maybe it’s the insecurity of my skill. But something is eating me up more than it ever should.

“Oh, c’mon Alyia, it’s obvious. Do you want to practice something with me then..”

I think about his words before judging the situation better. Internally I had decided that I was going to leave really early or make some crappy excuse about why I couldn’t be there any longer than I could handle; the more Matt went on about it, the worse I felt.

“You aren’t going.. are you..?” my eyes finally meet his and I see his chest fall as he reads my eyes, I look away quickly after that.

“I am.. I just. I have nothing that I have prepared, I haven’t made anything new in months.” I lie slightly, altering the truth behind my weakened smile. I’m a bad liar, and he knows it.

“Fine.. if that is really the issue, then let’s get something done now. Okay?” I don’t argue with him and balance the guitar on my thigh, shifting it on my skin.

I don’t need to look at him to know he is smiling; you can practically feel it in the occasional sentences and the opening numbers to start the beat of his drums. The music wasn’t anything special, an old song practiced many times between us, one we were confident in. It was a calm balance between skill and memory which was more relaxed than other songs I was used to playing.

About an hour had gone by and we had only gone over a few songs, filling the gaps with small conversations and words to each other, giving small changes to the songs to match one another. Nothing I wasn’t used to, but the difference in our energy was noticeable between the two of us.

Before Matt can comment again on my mood the bell rings, breaking up the song that was more finished than not. I quickly move my guitar to rest by my feet, leaning onto my shins before I unplug it. The wire wraps between my fingers rapidly while I bend down to place it into my case which thankfully wasn’t far from my placement. Matt simply watches me once more, noticing the speed of my packing away unusual to the normal which drags on until at least one of us is late to our first class.

I know he is watching but I don’t utter a word to him, grabbing my case with my guitar now inside and leaving the place quickly. I didn’t want to think about after school just yet.

As I’m rushing away from the music room, Jenny runs into me and grabs my arm to get my attention.

“Hey? Why are you rushing..?” her words fall sweetly from her lips, shooting a quick smile to one of her friends who keeps walking with out her by her side.

“I’m fine, Jenny, what’s up.”

“What’s up is you acting weird. Talk to me..”

I try to avoid any eye contact until I begin speaking.

“I don’t know…I’m just feeling nervous about tonight. And I never feel this way and so I can’t pinpoint a specific reason as to why I feel like this.” I ramble quicker than I would’ve liked, yet nothing she wasn’t used to when I was like this.

“Is it because of what I said this morning?” Her gaze meets mine, softer than Matt’s but lacking in the same easy sparkle.

“Maybe...” The way I mumble indicated to Jenny all that she needed to.

“So..you are afraid of losing Matt to new people.”

“But I shouldn’t. Matt can fucking talk to whoever he wants to. Why should that be my concern” her arms land on my shoulder, her fingers brushing against the edge of the material back and forth.

“What exactly did you tell me after you had that sleepover at their house.. the very first thing.”

“The conversation I had with matt?” my voice begins to shake again, I swallow quickly to hide it.

“Exactly that. How he wanted to be your friend and get to know you…you’re scared to lose that, your parents haven’t been a help with that.” I look down at my feet, realizing slowly what she is getting at. “You don’t want to lose Matt after finally getting a friend again that didn’t make you feel isolated. Not that you’ll ever admit it.”

“That’s because it’s not true.”

That’s because it is true.

“This is stupid Jenny, whatever this is? I’ll get over it quick enough, okay?”

“Alyia.” She tried to call my name out, but I walked off down the corridor before she could even finish.

Class was nearly over, and I was glad I got a distraction from this morning, letting it go on for too long in my head. Honestly, all I was thinking about now was the piece I would play for people at the club, hoping someone finds the skill I have decent enough. I’m not one to majorly care enough about extracurricular activities but both Jenny and Matt were going on about how good this would be for me, so I felt like I had to go.

I was trying to use the English work as a distraction, but I kept subconsciously tapping my pen against the desk to the beat of the song I was going to play. I hated that it was catchy and now subsequently stuck on my head.

With the teacher ending her lesson, people start a commotion of bag movement and talking, startling me from the silence. I rub my eyes with one of my hands, using the other to push my from my seat before grabbing my bag that laid by my feet.

An array of pens and equipment that I hadn’t even used for that lesson spread across my papers. I sighed at the sight of them, knowing it would delay me from leaving.

I lay a bunch of them in my pencil case and turn my back to shove it into my bag but as I turn around, I see Matt in front of me, holding my papers that were all over my desk neatly in his hands.

He doesn’t say anything, but his smile hides a sweet sincerity behind it. A smile spread across my face as I took them from his hands and transferred them in-between a few books in my bag.

“You’re slow today, normally you wait for me” he takes a few steps before turning back to wait for me to catch up with him.

“Yeah sorry..” I think he noticed my change in my average mood since he slows down to make sure he walks by my side.

“What’s up with you? You are always happy to leave English?”

“I am. I’m just tired I guess.” As much as I hated to say it, I was getting better at lying to Matt, it didn’t help that he told my tells and what he picked up on. That only gave me the things about myself that I needed to change.

“Well, hopefully not too tired to play in a minute. I talked with the guy who introduced the club to me and I think it was in room 17. Don’t hold me to that though.” He leaves my side and so does a sharp exhale on my end. I was glad he left it alone.

I needed to get over this feeling quickly.

The room was easily noticeable to us the more we approached the door, commotion being heard that was typically avoided during after school hours. A few people stood outside talking, evidently holding instruments varying from different music groups.

I don’t think either Matt or I were expecting this many people here, about fifteen people were heard and was confirmed as we entered the room.

Matt had entered first, immediately being noticed by a few people I had seen him play with at the talent show months ago. I stayed behind Matt, only turning when I heard a voice say my name.

“Alyia? Out of all people I wasn’t expecting you here.” The words are raspy and that catches my attention more than the specific words he says.

“Excuse me?” I face him head in now, dropping my attention from Matt.

“I’m Elijah, I’m in your science?”

“I’m sorry but I don’t know you, to be fair I don’t really know anyone in that class.” My hand rubs against the back of neck, hoping that it soothes some of the awkwardness that was just created.

“I’m not surprised, you’re kind of known for that. At least that’s all I know about you.”

“What?”

“You’re known for not talking to anyone and well…being distant.” I sigh and look down at my shoes before I speak again.

“Well, that’s a great first impression, huh.”

“If you join this, then I bet I’ll be seeing a lot more of you, I run this club with Ben, so I’ll be giving you details and information on anything you need.” I feel a sense of relief over me, knowing I didn’t fuck everything up.

“Yo, Alyia? You want to perform in a few minutes” Those words come from a voice that I wasn’t familiar with, I scan the room, turning my body around until I see a boy looking at me who is stood next to Matt. I can only assume that he is Ben, until the name finally clicks as the one labelled on the sheet that Matt gave me.

I give a hesitant thumbs up, only putting them down as I slide my soles on the ground and swing my body to return to Elijah.

“I’ll see you around?” His smile is quick to grow on his face and I reciprocate it. I start to feel less nervous about this situation now knowing that the people here aren’t as intimidating as I thought. Maybe this wasn’t so bad.

By the time performances rolled around a small slip of paper was passed around the bench we all sat on, naming what order we were in, thankfully I was after Matt, so I got to sit next to him. He kept stealing glances at me for a few minutes before whispering.

“I see that you aren’t as nervous anymore Ally.”

“Ally?” My head turns to him quickly, making him hide a laugh in his smile.

“Oh, so you can call me Matt, but I can’t shorten your name? Do you not like it?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then it’s settled.” He takes one more look at me before his gaze is stolen by Ben and Elijah standing in front of us.

“Before we start showing everyone what you all play and types of skill you all have, this isn’t any audition or anything, this is just so that others can see what you can do. This is just fun for you all, okay” Ben’s words calmed me down more than I thought that they would.

“We have set up the instruments accordingly but if you guys need to change any tuning, quickly do it as it is your turn.” Thankfully, my internal panicking made me check mine a few times so I could relax over that factor at least.

“Whoever is first, if you could start.”

The atmosphere was way calmer, and I didn’t feel pressured not to mess anything up, seeing how one or two people had missed a note and moved on so easily with communitive applause afterwards.

Matt was up next, and he just sat behind the drum kit quickly, feeling confident about the snippet he had prepared.

The drumsticks spin against his fingertips, taking a quick look at me while he internally counts himself in.

The silence that was previously established was cut off by the quick taps of the high hat along with the snare drum.

It was the piece that I have recognized from this morning, and I was happy to see it with more energy than before.

After a few minutes he stops and looks up from the separate drums, smiling at the small claps shared between us.

He walks up to me and looks down towards me.

“You good to go?”

“After that I’m doubting myself” I give him a quick grin, standing up to meet his eyes. I laugh when he rolls his eyes and playfully punches my arm.

I take a quick breath, passing Matt to approach my guitar that was on the stand and pull it towards the seat displayed central to everyone.

I hum the tune quickly to myself as I pluck the strings gently. It is only a few seconds before I start to strum against the strings creating a much more melodic sound. I ignore the people before me for a moment and let myself fall into the sounds more. This piece wasn’t particularly hard to do except for one or two moments and it was more a case of keeping on time with myself and focusing on the beautiful audio it made.

I managed to finish the piece only messing up one chord – not that it was noticeable, thankfully. When I look back up from the guitar, I look at Matt immediately and smile just a little brighter to him.

I shook my hands a little after placing my guitar back to get rid of the energy that lingered and took my seat back next to Matt who ruffled my hair a little when I adjusted myself.

“You played really fucking well, better than a few of the morning sessions we have had.”

“Oh really?” I rolled my eyes buy feign to hold my smile back and its obvious he noticed.

“You want to go to the Grove after this?”

“Are you sure?” I was surprised to hear him mention the Grove to me again, I had been the only one so far to bring it up and I was happy he remembered about it at all.

“Of course, I may have gotten a few things for it.”

“You did..?” Curiosity changed the way I had initially smiled at him. “What did you get?”

He merely placed a finger to his lips and tapped, quietening me.

The rest of the time I was there I was thinking about what Matt could’ve possibly bought for the houses at the Grove, if it was even for the houses. I stopped thinking to applaud the last two performances and I spent the rest of that time thinking about what he had planned.

“You ready to go?” I get stunned by the sudden words but as I look up I notice that people are standing up from their seats and grabbing their bags.

“Oh. Uhm yeah.” I stand up and grab my bag from my feet.

“Cmon, I wanna show you what I bought.”

I leave the room, waving goodbye to the few people I had made conversation with before catching up to Matt, walking next to him again. We leave the main building and head towards his car.

“Are you ready for the Grove?” I simply nod in response, excited for what Matt has in store.

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerssturns @worldlxvlys @patscorner @breeloveschris @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @raysmayhem-72 @luverboychris

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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endereies · 3 days

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daydreaming about writing: 🥰😍🥹❤️😊🌺✨😘

the act of actually writing: 😭😰😵‍💫😭😰😭☹️😖

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endereies · 3 days

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Go read this masterpiece immediately, just grab tissues before

SELFISH

pairing: chris sturniolo x reader

word count: 1.3k

warnings: sad asf, kinda sappy

summary: when you love someone, it’s hard to let go.

in my twenty years of living, i have never dreaded anything more than getting into that car.

i’ve never dreaded anything more than starting the camera for the last time with the boy i love sitting next to me in the passenger seat.

i’ve never dreaded anything as much as sitting there in front of a rolling camera and spilling my heart out.

everyone thought everything was perfect with us.

but all the fake smiles after arguments, the masks we put on for the camera after a screaming match, the blinked back tears and the swallowed hurt we hid from the world would finally be seen by them. and that terrified me.

suddenly it all felt very real.

i find myself sitting back in what should be the comfort of my drivers seat, but the thoughts heavy on my mind block out all sense of familiarity with my position in front of a camera.

chris sits next to me, evidently as anxious as i am. we exchange few words. it hurt too much to say anything more.

my shaky hand reached out to start recording, missing the button a few times.

as the cameras starting rolling and i spoke, my voice trembled with raw emotion, betraying the pain i desperately tried to suppress. chris sat beside me staring at his lap, knees bouncing, his usual bright and warm demeanour muted by the overwhelming feelings of heartbreak.

‘i think we owe it to all of you to be honest.’ i forced out, my voice leaving my lips sounding foreign.

we’d been separated for two weeks now but sitting here in my car, enveloped in his scent and presence where we had sat together many times before, was when the realisation of what we were doing hit me like a train wreck.

i choked up instantly, the lump in my throat too big to continue speaking.

i took a few moments to compose myself and chris looked up to face the camera.

‘me and chris have decided to end our relationship.’

the weight of the words settle in and i suddenly feel like my heart has been hollowed out of my chest. it only now feels like those words have become a reality.

it hurts. so bad.

‘it’s not something that’s easy for either of us,’ chris continued, his voice quivering as much as his form. he’s shaking so much i feel myself become dizzy with how fast his leg is bouncing.

‘i still love her and she still loves me,’ he paused, taking in a deep breath before continuing, ‘but we’ve come to understand that we want different things in life and that by staying together we weren’t letting each other achieve all the things we wanted to.’ his voice cracked.

more tears welled up in my eyes as i recounted the countless memories we’d shared, each one a bitter reminder of what we were losing.

‘we’ve grown in different directions,’ i confessed, my voice croaky. i was struggling to get the words out. still, i continued, ‘and as much as it hurts, we know this is the right decision for both of us.’

‘i think, since we got together quite young, we were still unsure about our futures and what we wanted to do with our lives, so once we realised what we did, we also realised that what we wanted were different things. so it’s just part of growing up i guess.’

for a sentence meant to be said lightly, he sure made it feel as heavy as an anchor dragging my heart down to my stomach.

‘even though coming to this conclusion was a really hard journey, it definitely had to be done. we couldn’t drag each other down like that because i think it would be selfish and in the long run it would’ve led to more hurt,’ i lied through my teeth. i didn’t think that. i don’t think i could ever feel more hurt then i do right now.

i love him. i love him so much it makes me sick at how little i have to offer him. he deserves better. he’s always deserved better.

‘even though we’re ending things here, i just want to say that i could never be the person i am today without y/n. she’s always been there for me, during the bad times and the good and i’m so glad that i was able to meet someone like her when i did because i honestly don’t know what kinda place i would be in if i hadn’t.’ chris choked out, struggling to contain his tears.

i took his hand in mine, though i couldn’t tell whether it was to console him or me.

‘i love chris and i know they’ll always be a part of my heart that belongs to him.’

i caught a glance of myself in the rear view mirror. my eyes were red and puffy. my cheeks were wet with tears and the bottom half of my face was trembling uncontrollably. he looked of a similar state.

i tried to continue, turning my body to face him,

’i really wish you the best in life chris, i love you and i hope that you’ll achieve all that you ever want. i’m sorry for anything and everything i’ve said to you over the years that may have hurt you, knowingly or unknowingly.’ the tears ran down my cheeks and i wiped my eyes and suppressed them again.

i wanted to tell him that i hoped he would find someone better to love, someone that could offer more and that he could love as much as i love him. but i couldn’t. because i didn’t. not one bit.

‘chris, you and your brothers have brightened up my life in so many ways and i just can’t-‘

i couldn’t say anything more. but when i looked up into his eyes i knew he understood me and that he could see all the things i wanted to say.

and that made me feel worse. i hate how well he knows me.

‘i love you too, and i hope we can still be friends.’

i smiled sadly but didn’t say anything.

i knew he could never be anything less than a lover to me.

as the video drew to a close, our hands lay entwined on the centre console as we ended our last video.

with heavy hearts and trembling lips, we wave goodbye to the camera for the last time.

as soon as it shut off, chris burst into a fit of uncontrolled sobs. i cried silently with his hand in mine. each cry that escaped his lips stabbed at my heart.

i was doing this for him, i reminded myself. don’t be selfish.

his whole body shook, his other hand clutched tightly at his chest, as if trying to contain the overwhelming ache he felt inside. with each shuddering breath, his shoulders heaved trying to grasp onto any bit of air he could.

i brought his head to my chest and he cried into my shirt, grasping onto me like he was trying to keep me from leaving.

i tried to slow his breaths and after a while he looked up at me. my heart was too shattered to feel any more pain.

all i saw was him. i was probably a reflection of him, tear-stricken cheeks, puffed up and bloodshot eyes. but in my eyes he has never he looked more beautiful then he did now.

he started to quiver again in my arms.

‘hey. you’re gonna be okay.’

he looked deep into my eyes and the tears started pouring again. i tangled my fingers in his hair and then he whispered with nothing but anguish and utter heartache is his voice,

‘but i don’t wanna be okay without you.’

GODDAMN WAS THAT A RIDE 😪

i cannot tell u how many times i cried writing this im such an emotional wreck

anyway tell me what you think, feedback and constructive criticism are welcome!!

- ray🌻

TAGS:

@endereies @patscorner @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosarethebest @breeloveschris @worldlxvlys @h3arts4harry @luverboychris @rootbeerworshiper @bueckerssturns

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endereies · 6 days

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Preach

People who are bitching about Matt’s anxiety on tour:

I’m sorry you signed up for meeting an actual human being?? Like—what the fuck are you saying actually…

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endereies · 9 days

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Idk whether to laugh or cry

Guinea Pigs Eating a Grass Field

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endereies · 11 days

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🙏🏼

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endereies · 12 days

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Loml

cutest thing

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endereies · 13 days

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Bro who are these kalogeras sisters? 😭 i’m seeing so many edits of them with the triplets. like i’m not even trying to be mean, they’re so gorgeous, like stunning and i’m sure they’re sweet, but who are they? the triplets don’t need to collab with EVERYONE 😭 they don’t even make sense.

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endereies · 14 days

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Fuck it - Matt Sturniolo - Part 8

Spotify playlist:

Summary: Fem!oc x Matt Sturniolo

Growing up with parents who make her feel isolated, what happens when she meets Matt. A person who introduces her to new people, new experiences and new feelings.

Authors notes:

sorry this took like two weeks to finish, school was stressing me out and i couldnt bring myself to write anything major sooo

Warnings: swearing, idfk at this point lol

Word count: 2074

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

“Is this something we are meant to do?”

“Fuck it.”

“Jesus Matt, what took you so lo- oh.” Chris turns to face me, meeting my exhausted expression as I rubbed my face. “Rough night?”

“Alyia and I were messaging all night; I think I slept…? Maybe an hour at best” My eyes immediately side eye Chris when I see him start to smirk at me. “Oh, shut up Chris. At least I’m talking to a girl”

“Nick is quick to stop our bickering by setting some food down in front of Chris and I, one by one. My body slumps down to the chair next to me, my head heavily hitting the pillow underneath me.

I raise an eyebrow to Nick, adjusting myself slowly in my seat.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t fucking burn it this time...” I smile to myself when I hear his sighs, tired of me bringing it up. Nick returns to the kitchen counter to get his own share of waffles, along with some syrup he had previously subsided for himself.

“So, what were you and Alyia chatting about?” Chris’s words emit around and mouth full of food, making me grimace before I think about my answer.

“Just, stuff I guess…nothing special.” An arm leans over my body to pick up a waffle that I then dip into some extra syrup that had dripped off.

“Don’t look at me like that Chris, I can fucking feel you staring.” I glare over to Chris, his eyes already staring into mine. “What…you meet a girl and suddenly you stay out late with her in random places that you wont even tell us about, and you stay up all night talking over the phone with her. You can’t tell me that’s not weird.

“That’s not weird.” I simply roll my eyes once he starts his typical mocking.

“You have to admit Matt, this is really uncommon for you, you don’t even do that with Nate half the time.” Nick shrugs his shoulders, keeping his gaze towards his food.

“Why do you encourage him, Nick…” I let a sigh brush pass my lips and roll my eyes.

Nick goes to speak again but the chime of my phone interrupts him.

Alyia🎸:

‘Hey Matt, are we still down for practice today?’

“Lemme guess, that’s Alyia” Instantly, Chris chimes in and I glare at him again. He instantly holds his hands up by his head in defence, standing up to take his plate to the kitchen. My phone chimes again and I pick it up to respond, I feel Nick’s eyes on me again, so I look at him. I nod my head reluctantly at him showing that Chris was right, not that I would admit that to him.

“Hey! Glad to know you came, I didn’t know if you would after the amount that I kept you up last night.” Her words see to mumble as her body becomes closed off to me.

“It’s fine, I’m just surprised that my parents or brothers yelled at me this morning for being awake so long.” A clear attempt at a joke is made yet her tight-lipped smile made me regret my choice of words. “Oh… sorry I didn’t mean to.”

“Don’t worry about it, Matt, I’m fairly used to their distancing at this point to be honest, I don’t want you to apologize for anything.” Her smile changes to one of sincerity, making me return it back.

“I just feel bad…you know?”

“Why?” The genuine curiosity confused me. “I have learnt to adapt to them; besides I have some pretty awesome people around me, I’m not in complete solitude.”

Her words linger in my brain, perhaps more than they should.

I’ve learnt to adapt to them.

It sounded too nonchalant for a sentence of high intensity. I had seen this happen multiple times now, especially around her mom. Only, I simply never wanted to pry. The night she stayed over for the first time, her mom called her. The contact’s name was a start, her full legal name was on show with no emojis or care. I thought it was odd but when the voices transferred and mingled over the phone it began a little too clear, no matter how hard she had tried to hide it. The mood swings when she was mentioned was one that I had grown unexpectedly familiar too. I had tried to avoid that topic whenever I could and luckily Nick and Chris hadn’t mentioned it either.

“Matt?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry…” My hand subconsciously rubs the back of neck before wrapping around the chain of my necklace. “What did you say?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to try any of the songs we mentioned last night.”

I couldn’t shake this morning all that well, I didn’t know why either. She wasn’t saying anything in a way to make me question it. I didn’t even know the entire story, but I knew enough.

“Uhm, excuse me? You’re Matthew, right?” A steady voice came from beside me as I walked, dragging me from my thoughts. My body turns to face where the sound comes from, and I notice a boy about my age walking by my side.

“Yeah? Can I help you.” I slow my pace down to a more comfortable pace and I pay attention to him, the slight smile below the glasses which round his face, the darker skin matching his black hair which was tied into loose dreads. He wore a lot of leather, patched with badges and band logos which for the most part were recognisable to me.

“Actually yeah, were you the one who played drums at the talent show two or so months ago?”

“With Damien, Jess and Martha? I was, why?” I get intrigued the more I listen to his voice and the rasps that emit every few words.

“Miss Ackley has been putting together some type of music club shit, after school! She asked a few of us to get together some people who might be interested in joining a band or any form of music club to enhance skill.” His words ramble together, and I try and comprehend them as best as I can.

“Like a band camp?” My eyebrow raises at him, and we pause when I reach my locker, trying to show my interest while putting the pin for it in.

“Sorta, we are planning a ‘band camp’ trip for the end of the year but for now it’s a space to form bands and people to adapt our skill sets in.” He can tell I’m hesitant over this, I mean this is what I have Alyia for, right?

“We aren’t looking for any answers today, simply that you consider it. And if it isn’t your ideal situation, then you could share this to anyone who might be interested.” A flyer stands between me and the boy, decorated in deep yellows and blues spreading behind multiple instruments and equipment.

“I’ll have a look into that, thanks.”

“Of course, if you have any questions about it, my number is at the bottom of that sheet.” He beams at me, and I just look down to find the number, taking my time since my lack of sleep affects my vision.

After that he walks away with a small wave from his wrist, but my gaze heavily remains on the paper in my hand. Everything seems manually drawn to match each other and I admire the colours and patterns before my eyes trace the text. My body walks forward towards the music room, letting muscle memory take over while I keep reading over things. After a paragraph or so I look at the number again and notice a name marked next to it – Benjamin.

My hand reaches the door handle and I push it open to meet Alyia. Her hands tracing over each string gently to produce a small hum, barely audible from her headphones. I stand there for a bit watching her play, she just seemed so relaxed but that could just be the lack of sleep. The small hair stands which fall slowly don’t seem to bother her as she keeps strumming softly.

“Are you going to keep staring or what” her voice grabs my attention even though her body doesn’t change position until her sentence is over.

“Oh, uhm sorry.” I mutter before swiftly moving and shutting the door behind me, placing my bag next to the leather seats.

“Have you been handed one of these yet?” I lay the sheet onto the seat next to her and watch as she stops playing and sets down her guitar. Her headphones now rest on her neck as she scans the paper.

“What is this?” She shoots a confused look at me, but I try not to pay too much attention to it.

“Just read it and find out…” I playfully roll my eyes at Alyia and move to sit over by my drum kit.

“Band camp? That’s some corny shit, don’t tell me you’re going to that ‘camp rock’ shit.” She tries to joke but her face falters when I don’t reciprocate her smile.

“Actually, I was…and it’s not ‘camp rock’. It’s a social place to help practice with other people, and then a summer camp at the end of the year to go and meet professionals and go to a festival to perform.”

“Oh...my bad.” A brief and awkward silence falls over us until I decide to speak again.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to join me but…” I swing side to side on my chair as my voice dims down.

“Matt, I don’t like crowds and besides I practice solo. This isn’t something I am exactly interested in.”

“You practice with me fine enough?” I try and convince her a little, but she only rolls her eyes at me.

“You’re different, you know that.” She pauses abruptly to stare me noticing my immediate smile. “Don’t let that get your head.”

“Too late for that.” I remain smirking at her, but Alyia just glares at me back, I move past that pretty quick and relax my body down on my seat.

“C’mon” I drag out the syllables as I talk, getting up to stand in front of her. “It could be real fun, extra practice between us…and other people of course.”

“Okay. Don’t say it like that first of all.” Her voice quiets after her words and I attempt to gain her attention back with a slight wave of my hand.

“And second?” my face relaxes from its previous smile and changes to a more curious one.

“Second of all…I’ll think about it…” Alyia’s words soften and are quiet due to her admission.

“Yes!” my stupid smile is met with her own as I jump from my seat and pick up the information sheet by her side and start to ramble through the text.

Alyia pov:

I don’t even know why I had given in to matt so easily, but I guess I just didn’t want to let him down. He seemed so excited and yet I wasn’t, I can’t remember the last time I ever played music in front of anyone, except Matt. The more he rambled next to me, the less of his words I remembered. I heard his voice clearly, but I was internally planning what situations might arise if I did show up. It didn’t seem like a lot but as someone who has been separated from people most of their life, this was a big deal.

The bell rang and made both Matt and I jump at the sudden sound that echoed through the hallways.

Matt grabs a few of his things and places them back into his bag and slides the sheet back over to rest next to my leg.

“Promise me you’ll consider it? At least…” his eyes stare into mine, almost begging me to think about it, as if he can’t handle his own in a small crowd of people.

“Fine. Only because you asked me alright?” I stand up and swing my bag over my shoulder.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” The nickname catches me off guard, like it has every other time, and he smiles at the shocked expression on my face and walks away quickly.

My body stays still in its position for a short while longer, processing the nickname. He hasn’t done it without some sort of comforting context to it and this was different.

And in public.

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @sturniolosmind @worldlxvlys @patscorner @breeloveschris @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @raysmayhem-72 @luverboychris

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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endereies · 14 days

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Thanks for the tag @raysmayhem-72 love youu

I love my music taste, my style, my eyes, my creativity and my hair

I'm tagging:

@patscorner

@breeloveschris

@sturniolosmind

@worldlxvlys

@bernardsbendystraws

@junnniiieee07

@fuji-mango

@luverboychris

@nikolastrn

(Srry if you've gotten this Before)

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ^_^

Ok, i like this idea

5 things I like about myself are my athleticism, my eyes, my body build (muscle, links to athleticism), my writing skills, and my cooking.

I'm sending this too:

@matchalattegreen

@urlocalnonbinarybastard

@therealtwobitmatthews

@rileyh20

@jeremiahxaesthetic

@sturniololvrrr

@02wrldz

@mattssluttywaist

@dailyheartbreakhigh

@rafesmuse

I love you all <3

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endereies · 19 days

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OFC THIS WAS FUN TO MAKE, IF YOU EVER WANT ME TO EDIT ANYTHING JUST HMU <33

THIS IS A REALLY REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POST 🚨🚨

if any one on here can edit, i need someone like i genuinely need someone to edit matt and chris to medicine by harry styles like PLEASE I NEED IT AND I BET MANY OTHER GIRLS DO so please anyone. 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

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endereies · 19 days

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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeuuE9mh/

I actually really enjoyed making this 😍🙏

THIS IS A REALLY REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POST 🚨🚨

#christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #sturniolo edit

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endereies · 20 days

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Hopefully the next part of 'fuck it' should be out by the end of this week. Sorry its not been out sooner but I'm working on it I promise <3

#kay speaks #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #endereies

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endereies · 21 days

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the amount of casual racism, homophobia, sexism, body shaming, etc that i’ve seen within this fandom is absolutely vile and i hope every single one of u know that not only would the triplets never fucking interact with someone like that but u are not fucking welcome in this fandom by any means. they have always talked abt loving everyone as who they are and the fact that some of u think it’s okay to disrespect people just for things they can’t fucking control is actually fucking disgusting. get a god damn life i beg of u.

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endereies · 21 days

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Brb gonna fkn cry😇

softcore

pairing: Chris sturniolo x fem! reader

warnings: mentions of drugs, wounds, drowning, cursing, and more.

word count:1146

recommended songs: bittersweet tragedy by Melanie Martinez, softcore by the neighbourhood, and reflections by the neighbourhood.

theyre 18/19 in this story.

“My muse” that is what he called her and she loved it, she would get him through his darkest times. Their relationship was the most beautiful thing in the world, if people saw them walking down the street they knew that they were deeply in love just by how they looked at each other. but what people didn’t know is how their relationship was behind closed doors, not everything was sunshine and rainbows.

Two months and three days. That's the amount of time he had been distant. And it was driving her crazy, she wanted her boyfriend back. She felt the relationship slipping away but she was determined to make it survive. Even if it's the last thing she does. She didn’t know the reason as to why he was being so distant. The things he had gotten himself into that she wasn’t capable of knowing about.

“What do you mean you can't make it tonight? Chris, we’ve had this planned for weeks now. Could you possibly cancel on them?” she asked, “baby, as much as I want to you know I can’t.” he replied with a frustrated sigh “yea, whatever, it doesn’t matter do whatever you want.” she said “babe, don’t-” he was cut off by the sound of the call hanging up.

He sighed at the memory, it had been a week since that argument. He knew he had to go talk to her about the way he was acting but he didn't have time to do so, he had to be on that boat in less than twenty minutes. He decided to just say fuck it and head to the yacht, he could make it up to her later.

What he didn’t know is that y/n was right behind him following his every step. as he stepped on the dock getting into the yacht y/n several steps behind him. once she got on she hid behind a pair of stacked boxes.

“I’m done doing these deliveries for you ash, it’s becoming too much for me” he told the older man as he shifted uncomfortably “now, why would you decide to come to this trip if you were just going to quit?” the man spoke, rubbing his face in frustration “i have personal matters to take care of and this job is pulling me away from” he stopped when his eyes met hers.

her eyes widened as she realized that he saw her, she quickly ducked behind the boxes trying not to make too much noise. “who is this guy” “what does chris have to do with him?” she thought trying to stay as quiet as possible. as she slowly backed away she accidentally ran into a box knocking it over making it fall with a huge bang.

The sound of the box falling made the two talking guys look the way the sound came from. Shifting uncomfortably at the two pairs of eyes that were on her “this isn’t the bathroom..” she awkwardly giggled before trying to run away.

Before y/n could get far enough a big hand grab her hair and pull her back to be face to face with him, “do you know who she is?” asked ash as he pointed his gun to y/ns head. Chris hesitated as he bit the inside of his cheek in nervousness, fear crosses his eyes before replying: “no.” but ash knew chris like the back of his hand, he knew chris was lying “well then since you don’t know who she is and she was clearly spying on us, you know what I have to do right?” asked ash making eye contact with chris an evil glint in his eyes.

Chris slowly nodded his head, biting his cheek again before chris could utter another word ash pointed his gun at y/n and shot her. The power from the gunshot pushed her back causing her to stubble into the water. “Y/N!” screamed chris as he launched forward trying to stop her, but before he could reach her ash got in the way.

“I thought you didn’t know her, lying is bad christopher, and you know what i do to liars” spoke ash as he got closer to chris. chris quickly pushed through him diving into the water for his lover.

the deeper he dived the deeper he felt he was going to lose her, he should’ve known since the beginning that this would happen. but he wasn’t thinking straight, he got consumed by the thrill of the drug dealer world and how nothing could ever happen to him again.

he finally reached her arm pulling her up with him, once they reached the surface swimming to the dock. chris started coughing from all the water that he had accidentally swallowed as he reached upwards to get to the surface “please don’t be dead” “please don’t be dead” chris kept repeating as he laid y/n down on the wooden deck.

tears streaming down his face as he did cpr on her, he looked around for at least a person to help him. he didn't know what to do but he did know one thing; he couldn’t lose her. not today, not tomorrow, never.

that night he stayed up thinking, he knew it was a dangerous thing what he did and he knew he couldn’t keep her around anymore. he loved her way too much to see her get hurt or worse killed.

he knew he had to do the right thing, that being he had to break up with her, even if it hurt him. he couldn’t see her suffering from his mistakes.

the next day he went to visit her in the hospital, flowers in his hands eyes bloodshot red from crying all night long. but when he saw her, it took everything in him to not break down in front of her.

“babe, hi i wasn’t expecting to see you so early” said y/n a smile on her face as her eyes met her boyfriends, “baby? are you alright?” she said softly the smile slowly fading away.

he just shook his head “i’m sorry” he said his voice breaking he looked up to keep the tears from falling “but you know I can't involve you in this and the fact I obviously can't protect you the way I want to. this isn't safe, y/n.” he said looking at her tears streaming down his face “c-chris what are you talking about?” she said worried.

“i’m just saying i can’t do this anymore y/n it’s not good for us. what i do is clearly dangerous and i don’t want you near any of it. so to keep you safe, im ending it here” he said biting the inside of his cheek before leaving the room. “i love you.” he whispered once the door closed behind him.

————————————————————————

this was written when i was running on a few hours of sleep, then no sleep and then when i was tired so sorry if its bad ☹️ when i have the time and motivation i promise to make this better 😭.

tags: @bernardsbendystraws @patscorner @lexisecretaccx @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloblogs @sturniol0s @raysmayhem-72 @endereies @breeloveschris

comment on this post if you want to be added to the list:)

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