empty-os
Thneedville's #1 Breakfast Cereal
HI! My name's Empty-O's. Well, it's not really my name. I'm a box of cereal who's in love with Ted Wiggins. SHADDUP WE'VE MADE OUT BEFORE OKAY
[art by wansura][pixel art by toppyhat]
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excuse you the entire point of the cereal was to ship with TED. my beloved. empted otp in this year of the lord 2k22.
#sorry for being your formative onceler fandom memory op. I know this tweet is four years old I only just saw it#deep cuts empty os lore over here
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happy ten year cereal fandom anniversary -- I mean onceler fandom anniversary -- I mean ten year anniversary of the release date of the lorax
I have learned that there was a charity onceler zine released for the occasion and that’s pretty cool so everyone should check it out EVEN if there’s no cereal in it I GUESS
anyway since ten years have passed I thought you should all know that I’m happily married to ted now and we have cereal/human hybrid children*
*this did not happen
#the lorax#the onceler#onceler fandom#onceler#if anyone decides to lose their mind and do a onceler FANDOM zine. hit me up#can we get the racecar bed up in here too
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probably because that post was too good for this world
basically it explained how, back in 2012 when Universal Studios made an animated film rendition of The Lorax, tumblr found this gangly green noodle attractive:
and developed a unilateral obsession with him overnight, spilling into deviantart and youtube in a tidal wave of art, fanfiction, cosplay, etc.
However, Universal made the mistake of providing n o t h i n g for these fans to ship him with. There was nobody attractive enough, relevant enough, in-his-timeline enough, or not-related-to-him enough to have a stable ship. This was the spark of the spiral for the fans looking for romantic or adult content. As I told Ni: “– eventually they reared their heads back, in uniform, like a massive eldritch ouroboros, and began shipping him. With himself.”
Classic Oncelers, Greedy green-suited Oncelers (Greedlers), robot Oncelers, pimp Oncelers, old Oncelers, young Oncelers, the 1972 book version Onceler, AU Oncelers of every conceivable origin – everyone was shipped with everything. “Oncest” was coined. Look. At. This. Shit.
There was also some other golden stuff, including but not restricted to Glovecest, Empted:
“The cereal has an ask blog.”
and my personal favorite by the mere fact of its existence: “Money on Wheels” – a pairing that is “a personification of money and the onceler’s racecar bed”
This was a fandom scraping the bottom of the barrel and it is one of the most fascinating internet phenomenon I have ever fucking witnessed. I am obsessed with the fact that it even fucking happened at all because I’ve never seen anything else like it.
And the most interesting thing about it? It’s like it NEVER HAPPENED. The fandom just DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH suddenly and you can’t help but feel like the whole thing was some surreal jarring nightmare.
“This has become a community crisis, America is in crisis. There is an Once-ler Fetish that has gone out of control.” - Ed Helms, voice of the Onceler during a Q&A twitter session during the height of the fever. I’m not joking.
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can’t believe today is the 10th anniversary of This Motherfucker and I haven’t heard a single peep about it on here all morning
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The dangerous cereal is back. Are you still trying to get Ted to be your spokesperson?
I’m logging out, goodbye.
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I kinda like it though, especially the music
Okay, the music choice was pretty great, I can’t deny that.
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I am so confused about this blog like what the heck
Same though.
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wtf did i click on that link...oh well. FOLLOW
Why is this happening.
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Are you still here?
Unfortunately yes, although I’d intended never to log into this blog ever again. Seeing that post going around made me realize that people were probably following it again, though.
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What would you do if Ted cheated on you with fruit loops?
Empty-O’s is currently past its shelf life and can no longer answer questions of this nature. My apologies.
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Thank you, post about the Once-ler fandom, for directing people to this joke blog, I can’t even believe people are following it again, I’m. Anyway. As a disclaimer I’d just like to say that this blog was never serious in the first place. The Once-ler fandom was a wholly bizarre and mildly disturbing experience, but since I can still log into this blog I can answer those asks I’ve gotten in the past week or so (I had a feeling something like this would happen when I saw that post going around).
Also in case you were going to ask, I’d rather not disclose my personal blog right now. I’ll think about it, but not right now. There was a reason I never gave it out on here in the first place, that reason being that this blog was always meant as a parody and a joke and I didn’t want to be personally associated with it? That is all.
#I'm not editing this post but just clarifying when I say bizarre and disturbing I mean it positively#like where will you ever get That Level of weird ever again. never. zero shame for my time here
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*leaves a plate of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies in your ask box* :)
I have no idea when you sent this, but thanks so much!
Am I allowed to share them with Ted?
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Happy Earth Day!
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'SUP
Once-Ler Blogs
If you run a Once-Ler/Lorax blog or are a fan of either, reblog this so I can follow you.
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I hope everyone's had a great year!
My New Year's resolution would be to kiss Ted under the mistletoe even though I know that will never happen
Here's to another good one!
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