i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

<Reblog to get a sword.> o()xxx[{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::>

You order a package off Amazon. When the Amazon delivery guy shows up to your door, instead of giving you the package you bought, he beats the shit out of you. Then, when he sees that you are not dead yet, he calls all of the Amazon delivery people in the area and they all proceed to beat the shit out of you. Miraculously, you survive. Another miracle: a friend in your neighborhood caught the assault on video. After a month of recovery and extensive hospital bills that you have no idea what to do with, the video has gone viral. You read the comments below. “This is what happens to people who fuck with Amazon!!!” Someone says. “I’ve never been beaten up by Amazon employees, and I’ve been using them all my life!” Someone else comments. Later, you start to see articles popping up about your story. They all mention that when you were 17, your license was revoked for reckless driving. In a Facebook post on your mom’s feed, someone is going on a rant about how not all Amazon delivery guys are bad, and that if you look really close, the “bad” ones are just stressed out. Your name is trending on Twitter. Jeff Bezos films a response to your attack, denouncing the video of you getting beaten to within an inch of your life by his employees as becoming “a symbol of hate towards Amazon.” The people who attacked you still deliver packages around your neighborhood. You saw one of them just yesterday as you were watering your plants. You still can’t pay your hospital bills. Your phone dings- Twitter again. “Maybe if you didn’t order from Amazon,” someone pipes up, “this wouldn’t have happened!”

my coffin shaped locket is the perfect size to fit one singular ibuprofen

Michael Trevino as Kyle Valenti Roswell, New Mexico (2019-2022)

watching a tiktok and someone just described the black/blue gold/yellow dress meme as “one of the first things to ever go viral”

SCREAM (1996) // SCREAM VI (2023)

that muppet post reminded me, most if not all of the main muppets have twitter pages. Fav has gotta be Miss Piggys, which is filled with selfies and vaguely uplifting text thats also egocentric. all the comments are people complimenting her and being like “YAS QUEEN”

Close second is Gonzos. Which is just…unhinged

does anyone wanna have a sleepover & do little crafts together & watch gay movies together. yes or yes

Did you come up with anything?

Yeah… you.

I want to be a part of the people that make meaning. Not the thing that's made. BARBIE (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig

THE DESCENT (2005) Dir. Neil Marshall

they fancy a fine fabric 💕

I can do this. I am a dude! I am a hunky dude! I’m a badass hunky dude!

SHE’S THE MAN 2006, dir. Andy Fickman