Thursday 8th September 2022

Opal just got her ears pierced!!! Felt like I needed to documents this somewhere. Feels like my baby is all grown up! Aurora still has no interest in piercings but Opal came home from school saying she wanted it done so we thought why not! She was so brave, she cried for a little while afterwards, but she was glad that she did it and she's really chuffed now!

4 weeks 4 days

I guess I'm back to using Tumblr to document my pregnancy! This one was a surprise. We found out a few days ago and to be honest we were left reeling. We had consciously made the decision to not have a fourth child, even though we wanted one. Now we're trying to reconcile the anxieties which made that decision for us. All in all, we're excited. I'm due around the 14th April based on my last period, which it right between the girls' birthdays 😅

I don't know if anyone even still follows me here, but it's such a nice way to track my pregnancy so I guess I'm just putting it out there.

Rocky is one in 4 days btw. 😂

Good God I wish I didn't have kids. World War 3 is on the horizon, the planet is depleted, we'll all be dead in 100 years by our own hands. I am nauseated. I love them so much why did I do this to them no one deserves to be born into this world. My poor babies.

I haven't posted her in what? Months? But my breast pump just malfunctioned and almost sucked my entire boob off 😭 like literally one big ungodly sick now breaks or nothing I had to tear the parts of the pump to break the seal even after I shut it off and even then I had to rip it off!!! Happy Valentine's Day to me 😭

$400,000/3 br

Snohomish, WA

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 

Genuinely love Ireland's whole thing of "Faeries aren't real but they're 100% real"

I haven't been here in a while but I'm sad again. Idk if it's big sad but it's sure as hell for no reason. I'm hoping it's hormonal but god damn I'm just so tired of feeling crappy. I'm so sick of hormonal birth control, I hate that this is the norm. I don't want the responsibility of not getting pregnant. I just want to run away from my husband. Like it's stupid he's fab, he's the best he's ever been but I just don't want it right now, I don't feel like I deserve him and I'm always mad about something. My temper is so short with the kids I'm always telling them off for just being normal kids like yeah they don't want to out on they're school uniform or put their water bottles in their bags. They're such good kids but I'm just such a shitty mum. I'm just not good enough for anyone here. I try my best but I just can't break through and get there.

God damn. What am I supposed to do. Everything is so hard. It's just so hard. I love my kids but I just have so many outside things going wrong. I'm so tired.

Good lord my child can whinge about anything. She's been fine all morning and as soon as I leave the room to get the baby she's straight up just whinging 😬😬😬 can't be bothered to listen to it like.

Just now realising I don't know if I mentioned that she broke her leg a few weeks ago 😅 but that's not why she's yapping...

Okay I just finished all the acotar books yesterday and started watching outer banks today and Sarah/Madelyn Cline is Elain fight me.

Katharine Isabelle in Ginger Snaps (2000) and The Order (2019-2020).