A few praises

God has been good and kind and has generously provided for all my needs while I have been here.

Some things I want to give thanks for:

1. Giving Haircuts

I’m thankful my mom taught me how to cut hair ever since highschool by telling me what I did wrong and thankful for the countless friends who have let me experiment on their heads. I could honestly start a hair salon here if I wanted to. I don’t even need a liscense and people pay cash! 😂 So I have given about 12 haircuts, most of them free, but so far we use the money to buy veggies and ice cream. It’s been one of the surprises that God has set up and I have been having a blast with cutting folks hair here and telling them my story. This guy said his birthday highlight was getting a haircut from me! I even cut the landlord’s hair of the place where I am staying. Haha

2. Kingdom Building Strategies

I have been invited to help strategize on several start-up like projects (aka they are just ideas) that have great potential to disciple the unchurched. There are so many ideas and I am seeing how some people collaborate across countries to strategize on one thing, how to have His will on earth as it is in heaven, the kingdom of God.

Through various conversations the two things that I am focusing personally on are:

1) how to redeem man and his work/ (intended purpose) on the land back to what God intended. For example I don’t think God intended for clothing stores to outnumber grocery stores and food production. Man was made to work the land and produce fruit.

2) how to redeem relationship back to God and with each other. Really the word “redemption” is now how I’m viewing how to discover what type of work I will do in the future. We are praying into these ideas and I have been documenting things - lots of writing, writing writing.

Regarding making the Kingdom Health videos, I feel I’m being stretched to believe in myself and see if I can create something excellent by myself, without the comfort of having a big corporate team structure. So I’m learning if I have what it takes and can I do what I hope to do, and to ask God for what I need and who I need, even if I don’t have the strong arm of corporate money to offer anyone. Is working with believers in the kingdom of God better than working in the world according to the worlds ways? I’m learning how this works. And just freely offering my services and my 5 loaves and 2 fish to see if He will really multiple it.

I’m also learning how to vision in greater ways to see the kingdom come down to earth over the areas I care about. It requires ridiculous faith and asking God, “ok Lord, what is the most ridiculous vision you have to redeem this part of the earth?” And if God gives you something, run with it!

3. Starting and edible garden!

During corona times, I’ve thought a lot about food production and farming. It also helps that my host friends talk about organic food and I have a tension with paying more for that and still having a generous heart towards those who have nothing. So one day I watched a bunch of YouTube videos and learned how to grow veges. I tried it with a cabbage on my windowsill and to my surprise it actually started growing! It got big enough just on my windowsill that I eventually planted it on the 8th floor patio and then it grew like crazy! I just saw it recently and even took some leaves and made a bowl of salad! It was so yummy! Since then I have planted green onions, bought a tomato plant, potatoes, carrots and shallots. The neighbors saw that someone had started a farming area and they started planting things too! So it’s been nice to see that a tiny vision of planting food we can share and eat is happening and with very little effort. God is truly miraculous in the ways he made the earth to grow things just using water and sunlight. Amazing!

4. British Picnics.

Apparently picnics are a popular social activity. I am also deathly allergic to the grass pollens here so I’m learning how to excuse myself and take time to explore the forest - one of my favorite things to do! So far I have learned that the best food to bring to a british picnic is carrots, apples, and salad.

5. Starting Intercession groups

There have been several intercession groups that have started since I came here. I did a training to the homegroup, and started praying with the folks I am living with. Then I asked Nancy to teach an intercession training to the home church, and now we have started a nice hub of global intercessors. Our home church spans 4 countries. And another intercession group is specifically for the media/ entertainment industry, for mature christians to rise up and shine.

I have done a similar thing with dreams lol. I taught a “how to steward your dreams” lesson and “how to interpret your dreams.” The people here love “train the trainer” culture, so there’s a a lot of teaching and receiving teaching.

Praise the Lord for these goodies.

The blessedness of possessing nothing

Before the Lord God made man upon the earth, He first prepared for him a world of useful and pleasant things for his sustenance and delight.

In the deep heart of the man was a shrine where none but God was worthy to come.

Within him was God; without, a thousand gifts which God had showered upon him.

But sin has introduced complications and has made those very gifts of God a potential source of ruin to the soul.

Our woes began when God was forced out of his central shrine and things were allowed to enter.

Men have now by nature no peace within their hearts, for God is crowned there no longer, but stubborn and aggressive usurpers fight among themselves for first place on the throne.

This is our very real spiritual trouble. There is within the human heart a tough fibrous root of fallen life whose nature is to possess, always possess. It covers things with a deep and fierce passion.

The pronouns my and mine look innocent enough in print, but their constant and universal use is significant.

They are verbal symptoms of our deep disease.

Things have become necessary to us, a development God never intended. God’s gifts now take the place of God, and the whole course of nature is upset by the monstrous substitution.

“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

There is an enemy within each of us which we tolerate at our peril. Jesus called it “self-life.” It’s characteristic is it’s possessiveness. To allow this enemy to live is, in the end to lose everything. To give up all for Christ’s sake is to lose nothing at last, but to preserve everything unto life eternal. Possibly the only effective way to destroy this foe is by the cross.

The way to deeper of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and abnegation of all things. The blessed ones who possess the kingdom are they who have repudiated every external thing and have rooted from their hearts all sense of possessing. These are the poor in spirit.

These blessed poor are no longer slaves to the tyranny of things. They have broken the yoke of the oppressor; and this they have done not by fighting but by surrendering. Though free of possessing, they possess all things. “Theirs is the kingdoms of heaven.”

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

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I loved these excerpts from A.W.Tozer as it captures the battle of possessing that I know I have. The fight over materialism is slowly being overcome in me but there’s still much further to go. I feel this is a key lesson God has been teaching me my whole life. To not hold onto my things, and remove the me, mine, from my mentality.

There is an old man here who has no teeth, and everyday he asks me, “can you spare a pound?” I rarely have cash but when I ask him “what would you like? I’m going to the store.” He only asks for a coke or cigarettes. He survives on a diet of fake coke and cigarettes. I pray for him. And when I do have a pound I give it to him. When I don’t, I’m happy to get him food. But he has taught me the shameless act of asking for something small over and over. Everyone knows who he is in our area. He is not shy about asking for a pound. God bless him; his name is John.

“Give to the one who asks and do not refuse the one who wants to borrow from you.” Matthew 5: 42

My goal is to someday be able to give/live like this.

“And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.” ‭‭Acts‬ ‭2:44-47‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Thankful and delighted

I recently asked a friend to pray for me because he kept showing up in my dreams as if he has some advice for me but I couldn’t remember it when I woke up, so I messaged him asking if he happens to get any words for me id love to hear, and his words totally blew me away! He said he had been praying for me and actually wanted to share some things with me. Wow thank you God for those who can hear from you. Anyways he asked what are some things I have been most thankful for, so this post is for you!

Here are some things I’ve been so thankful for:

1. Father God has richly supplied for all my needs. My ark fam, my lodging, a new computer, fresh food, more health, the most beautiful location, even enjoyable work to do!

2. I’m thankful He has helped remove tensions of distrust that I was struggling with for a while. God challenged me to remove the walls of distrust I had erected to keep my mind safe from the differences I felt in our beliefs. But when I asked God why can’t I trust them? He said “because you don’t know them fully.” And when I asked “do you trust them?” He just said, “I love them very much.” Jesus has taught me that it’s possible to extend love without trust. That I had it wrong for thinking that trust was a prerequisite for love. God has really transformed my heart in this area and I feel so much clearer and lighter and happier! Praise the Lord!

3. I’m thankful to be living with folks who care so much about their health and what they eat. At first, I honestly judged my friends for being food elitists. I saw a parallel of how elitist I may come across when I only speak of how amazing it is to walk with Jesus and never invite soomeone and show them how they too can taste and see for themselves, the goodness of God. I was tired of “hearing” about all the great things they are doing to preserve their life by eating healthy and eating beautiful things. I thought “that life is only for the rich. What about all the poor people who can’t afford to eat like this? What a privilege it is to eat organic. I’ll just eat ramen because it’s cheap and I like it.” But God tapped my shoulder and told me I was judging and told me that I could eat healthy too, and that poor people can eat healthy too if I just feed them. God encouraged me that if I wanted to see the kind of care for others that I wanted to receive that I must learn how to fast and to give up my delicious healthy food to feed those who are hungry, and give drink to those who are thirsty. So I did, and I realized how much grace God gives each person everyday to live and move and have their being. I was filled with grace! I had grace to not eat, grace to give, grace to not judge, and grace over myself. And I felt God taught me how much he provides for his sheep and how much he desires them to be healthy. God gave me my body and I wasn’t stewarding it as much as I could. This is one gift I actually am super thankful for - that God has transformed my thinking of stewarding my body and health. It’s not selfish to eat healthy and take care of it. I can live on very little or a lot. And if that very little helps my body and does not harm it, then I am being a good steward. I can do both, live healthy and care for those who cannot make healthy decisions just yet. And if I preach good news, then the more powerful thing to do is to bring people in to experience it themselves.

4. God has given me more vision over my life than I previously had. I came with no plan, no agenda except to “come and see” to “follow him” wherever He was leading me. Meeting the folks here has opened my eyes to what it looks like to collaborate and build the kingdom of God together, globally. It looks like believing that one of our purposes is to redeem and reconcile the land and people back to God. It looks like introducing people to each other, even if they are across the world and saying hey you two should meet and God has knitted something similar in your hearts and share encouragements with each other. It looks like hopping on calls with people around the world to tackle problems that the Body of Christ has the ability to tackle yet we have given our strength and efforts to the man with money, instead of the King who desires heaven on earth and His will to be done. I haven’t had conversations like this in a while. I feel like I have received more sight, more vision, more collaboration across the global Church, more innovative possibilities of what it looks like to be missional and use our talents, giftings and calling to heal the bride and make her whole, unified and ready for the coming day!

5. I’m thankful I’ve been able to explore more of my artistic side here. I began designing some things for a friend, and started a 30 drawing challenge. Then started an Instagram! Check it out here if you want to see my doodles. This has awakened me to possiblities that I can be an illustrator and I can learn new tricks. 😂

6. I’m thankful for the many possibilities of what I can do here. One of the funniest things I have been doing is giving haircuts. It definitely seems that wherever I go, I give haircuts. I thank my mom for passing on her expertise to me and teaching me from highschool how to cut hair. I literally have customer bookings from people in the building I’m living in. I’m actually very excited to get to know random folks and share my story and hear theirs as well. Wow God you’re so good!

7. I’m thankful for the weather. Last time I came to London it rained so much and it was so windy and cold. I came at the same time last year... so I packed 2 rain jackets, 5 sweaters, 1 tank top, 1 shorts and 1 skirt. The point being I packed for cold weather. But when I prayed if I should go or not, God kept showing me blue skies and sunny days and nice clouds. I had no idea that it would be the reality of the weather im in now! It is blazing hot here! And I’ve been doing all the summer things like buying sunscreen, getting sunburnt, wearing the same one pair of shorts and the same tank top everyday. Lol but I’m so thankful my friend told me about Depop! I have since bought several summery things. Hehehe 😁

🌈 I drew the clouds I see everyday.

8. Thankful for the people here. At first it was hard for me to like the folks here haha. Can I be that honest? I really had my guard up. I’m the only Asian girl in the circles I’ve been in.  I didn’t like how some people spoke about things, accusing me of bringing Corona to the country, etc. I felt like I was among immature believers who were offensive and didn’t know it. But God told me he loved all of these people and even those who said racist things to me, as I too have spoken racist things and needed forgiveness. And he forgives me, and has seen me change; so I should forgive others too and believe they can change too.

He began to show me how much I need to speak with a thought-filled global heart posture. So more grace has entered in and I have begun to like the folks here. In the house church, I mentioned how I have no context for anyone and was wondering if people knew each other’s stories, and they didn’t! So we have been sharing our personal testimonies and it has been revolutionary! I feel like wow God you’re so crazy! These peoples lives are so crazy! And you brought everyone to this group? It makes me quite excited about the global body of Christ and how fun it will be in heaven to swap stories!!! Truly it was be jaw dropping.

9. I’m thankful for my Ark fam. This is the first trip where I felt so connected even while being away. Most trips, I don’t hear from a single person but this trip, because of corona times, I’ve been able to be “present” as if I had never left. It’s been something I’ve always desired and I’m so thankful I now have a context for keeping in touch despite time zones and locations.

10. The future. I’m thankful that while I don’t know what will happen, I believe God has my best in store. It’s a daily surrender of expectations but I feel God’s hand on my future like he has it. And I can let go. I can ask and dream and ask, and dream bigger. Thank you God.

rɛk(ə)nsɪlɪˈeɪʃ(ə)n/

Reconciliation

It’s easy to keep surface relationships. All that is required is kindness, joy, compassion and only in short increments of time. I have those in stock, but reserves run out after spending weeks with the same tensions. Sooner or later, truth really does burst through the doors of my heart and puts on trial the accusations of the brethren, judgements, and walls that have been erected. 

I found that living with folks that I may have differing opinions with is tolerable if my mentality is that God will soon whisk me away, to what I’m really supposed to be called to.  But on a jog one morning, I heard loud and clear, “I called you to be with these people. You need to start being. Forgive them for things you are holding against them, confess your thoughts, stop judging and reconcile because if you’re going to “be here” then “be here.” 

So I found myself with a list of accusations, things I didn’t like, and ultimately judgements I held against some folks here in London, which has prevented me from opening up and developing deeper relationships albeit even what I would consider real friendships. 

I spent time with the Lord praying and confessing things I didn’t like, and He pointed out judgements that I need to get rid of. I asked His help for me to forgive, and to love anyways, even without trust, and somehow something shifted. I was able to have several conversations of confession, and repentance, and prayer with those I held some grievances against, even though I only mentioned the small things, as I still have yet to mention the larger things I struggle with, but God is working in these talks. Unity has been a fruit of reconciliation. And this kind of unity has changed our dynamics. How good it is when brothers dwell in unity!

I’ve had several conversations where judgements were held against me as well, and while most of it stemmed from incorrect assumptions and perceptions, I had to practice humility and thankfulness in these moments. I am aware that wrong perceptions cause division, but once spoken and confessed there is a way to reconcile. I saw how the enemy whispered misperceptions of character to each of us, but if our eyes and ears are atuned to His voice then we can discern truth from lies and receive grace for one another. I am not blameless for letting the enemy speak to my fleshly ears, but when I asked God why I can’t seem to trust some folks, He said “its because you don’t know them yet.” and when I asked what He thought of them He said he loves them, so I guess I too was being called to take this view.

There is an invisible war over unity in the body of Christ, and the battles we fight require the things Jesus died to give us- confession, forgiveness, repentance and love to cover it all. Jesus has really helped me see with new eyes the people I have built walls against. The continued buy-in to meet together is also important as I have honestly contemplated moving out and paying rent, just so I could get a free puppy, my own room, and a real bed. But the Lord whispered, “I didn’t bring you to London to get a puppy.” lol. 

All I know is people back at home keep calling this a “missions trip,” but I just call it a seeking after Him, a following after God’s voice. And while I feel that nothing super epic externally has happened so far, God has been deconstructing my internals of what “sharing the gospel,” “evangelism,” and “making disciples” means and it’s not found in the old ways of dropping a sermon or a testimony, or in a healing or a miracle - those are all scattering seeds. But to really make disciples, it requires a sacrificial love, a dying to oneself, a constant invitation into relationship, no cutting off, no strings attached, no expectations, and lots of sharing. Lots of vulnerability, confronting thoughts and attitudes, confessing my innards, and crying in front of people I’d rather not see me cry. There’s been a lot of uprooting of my inner ugliness and a realizing that I really cannot do a thing without God. His word has been my refuges and strength and the way He speaks through the Holy Spirit when I’m just doing nothing is amazing. Nothing is mine. Not even space. Not even silence. Jesus lived so radically, sharing everything, never worried about giving too much, or asking for for things that “don’t belong to him.” Lord, help us love like you!

Fasting

I’m not good at fasting. Basically to have self-control, limit myself, and withhold pleasures is something I’ve been working at for a long time. It all points to having my actions match my words and my intentions. 

For years I’ve been trying to break off the temptation of materialism, the obsessive searching for the must-have “perfect one” feeling. Even with all my belongings fitting in a suitcase, and all the stores closed, I still found a new way to accumulate something tangible-through food.

The folks I live with are very health-conscious, organic eating, mineral taking, super seed salad stuffing, popcorn loving pilates people. It paints a jurassic difference in eating habits when I get excited to eat instant ramen and spam, while they sip on biodynamic organic wine, and absorb nutrients from organic wild mushrooms with avocado on top of millet, purple cabbage and roasted yams. The way they eat and purchase food has challenged me because I tend to think this way of eating is only for the rich. And I partially still do think this way.

They are also material minimalists, never overstocking food or toilet paper, but having just enough to eat for the next 1-3 meals. I had to fight the urge to hide toilet paper and hoard food in my tiny room. I found myself going to the grocery store every day, for fun, and even venturing out to hit up every. single. grocery store that I can walk to, just to see who has the best prices and what they sell etc. My old tendencies of price comparison and buying things because are on sale were back. and I wasn’t making healthy food choices. 

But God challenged me to fast, and to not buy more food but to eat what I already had. And when he asked me to give, to be prepared to give to whomever he sent to me. So I gave it try for a week. And read Isaiah 58 everyday.

On the 7th day, I met Jack, a homeless kid of 19, laying near a tunnel with eyes rolled back barely able to murmur the words “spare any change?” I thought about stopping but I was with others, and they all walked past him into the tunnel, but then thankfully one of them turned back. I squatted with my friend asking the kid about his life. He asked for £12 so he can get a hostel, and I knew this was my chance to give. God had prepared my heart for it all week. But before jumping to give, we just listened. Heard about his childhood, his parents, and what life has been like. His heartache that “everyday thousands of people walk by me and no one pays any attention to me...or cares.” We shared with Jack some testimonies about our lives and about our God who cares, who sees him and knows him. His name is Jesus. We didn’t preach a good sermon, but as soon as I gave him the money that he needed he perked up, confessed all that he did and that he’s not going to do drugs or smoke weed with it but that he is going to get some water and go to the hostel and try to start over.

We offer him our water but he says, “no it’s ok... you need that.” Even with so little I’m always amazed at how thoughtful those who have little are towards those who have much.

Anyway, Jack was so excited to get going. We prayed over him before he departed. And that was it. I felt like something had gotten easier. The act of being prepared to give, prepared to help, something about it felt lighter and easier. I’m thankful that Jack might get a new start in life and all it took was £12.

Week 7: The hard stuff

For the most part I have been super blessed being here in London during Corona times. But I am not without woes. I’m learning what it means to make the Lord my refuge and my dwelling place. I can finally put words to some of the things I’ve been struggling with.

“Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." Matthew‬ ‭8:20

Woe to privacy and personal space

I live in a beautiful wooden box the size of my arm span. When I first arrived, I struggled with not having my own space, or privacy. I am blessed to live here, but I realized how much I value privacy, the freedom to have conversations that others aren’t listening to, even the privacy of praying out loud. I realize that I feel self conscious when others are hearing me pray because I may be praying about situations I feel here.

I often felt trapped and wanted to escape because of social tensions that I witness. But there is really no escaping and no avoiding each other. I think about how “my own” space is a privilege and something that Americans pay a lot of money for. And I’m challenged with the way the early Church lived in community and had all things in common. Though things feel uncomfortable and murky, I know that God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose, so I’m trusting that this uncomfortable space will play out well.

I was reminded that Jesus lived like this, with no privacy, no resting place, and no home, surrounded by people constantly. He didn’t have a stable place to come back to and yet He never disengaged in relationship, and he never complained. He was a constant guest in someone else’s house, cognizant of house rules, or he lived in the wilderness, slept on rocks, twigs, and dirt, without any comfort. None of the furniture he crafted would he be able to use for himself. He never settled down furnishing his own home to dwell in.

Instead, “He makes his dwelling place with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.” What an uncomfortable dirty place to make your dwelling place, right in the heart of all our junk. God is so loving.

“As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans‬ ‭12:18‬ ‭

Woe to trusting others‭

Trusting others and their intentions, motivations, words, and ambitions is proving to be the most difficult thing. I definitely saw red flags when I first heard bits and pieces of a cryptic vision. I saw things that were not in accordance to His word, a bit dodgy, differences in theology and practice, character issues, etc, and I wrestled in my own heart as I heard Jesus simply say, “pray for them.” On multiple occasions when my thoughts and emotions required a long walk, I hear God saying, “take the log out of your own eye before you take the speck of dust out in your neighbors.” So ok Lord... It’s not my place, so I’ll trust you’ll take care of it.

I was having a hard time being open and building relationship with this internal lens of judgement against the very folks I was supposed to love. But Jesus showed me that it’s possible to love people first without trusting them. I just need to follow him. We love because He loved us first. Follow him.

But Lord, I need to trust someone first to be willing to love them! I was not following Him and He began to give me grace... He showed me how He knows all my junk and flaws and draws closer still. When I pull away, He extends invitation to deeper relationship. He doesn’t expect me to enter into relationship with aligned theology or correct understanding. He isn’t bothered by mess or complicated things. He keeps bringing peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control into whatever space he enters, without trying to fix everyone and everything. He showed me how he loves me so I can follow him.

I’m still learning how to build relationship based on loving one another, flaws and all, trust issues and all. It requires a lot of forgiveness and a lot of grace. A lot of asking God to help me love and help me to forgive, when I don’t want to.

Thankfully the Holy Spirit has opened up doors to help us unify in the spirit. I was able to pass on what the Ark has taught me on intercession since there wasn’t any previous culture or practice of that here. We are now pressing into daily worship and intercession and that has helped unify us. This is an ongoing process and God is continually challenging me to lay down, tame my tongue, forgive, be authentic, and love even when it’s hard.

Woe to my words

I haven’t figured out how to speak the truth in love yet, so there are days when my words are few. I also feel our friendship isn’t strong enough yet to overlook imperfect words. We are more like co-workers. Even if words were intended to be spoken in love, intended to sharpen and not to cut, immaturity mistranslates words causing offense. So for the most part, God is continuing to teach me how to tame my tongue for the sake of relationship, and to pray constantly and forgive relentlessly to remove judgement and criticism from my lips, and how to bring peace and not dissension.

Woe to hearing His voice

On a deeper level, I had to press through to trust that God brought me here and that I wasn’t manipulated by Christian words and lofty visions.

When I first arrived, the Holy Spirit felt real “quiet and thin” here and the new age spirit, spirit of apathy, selfish ambition, and even foolishness hovered nearby. “Just relax, have a good time here. No need to stir the waters, just serve them.” the voice taunted. Instead I learned how to speak up, tread lightly on questionable things, and protect my alone time even if everyone else wanted to do something else. I was craving the secret place, and more discernment, a knowing of His presence.

I found a quiet place I could worship and pray... the stairwell. It’s anointed! From the first time I sat before the Lord there, I felt Him draw near. As I worshiped His presence just got thicker and thicker. How comforting it was to feel connected to Him again!

God reassured me to be confident that I can hear His voice, and that it was Him who lead me here. I didn’t come for what others invited me to come for, nor did I come for what I thought I came for.  But I came simply because I felt God said to go. I have seen how God has used me for tough conversations, for bringing up questions, for speaking more grace over situations, for hosting the Presence through worship and intercession and how he has used my tongue to steer a ship that I have no intention of driving. All of His leading has brought more unity in the Spirit with the group which I felt we all desperately needed.

God is birthing something here - perhaps it’ll be a church, perhaps something else.  I am blessed to witness of how He builds - with gold, silver, and costly stones - offering up his very blood for the sake of the Body. He’s showing us  how to root out what is flimsy, instead of building relationships based on “doing together,” he is leading us to build a foundation on “loving one another.”  I can see the way He hears my quiet prayers and how the Holy Spirit weaves and writes a much better story than my own mouth can speak.

“By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭3:10-15‬ ‭

Mercy, not sacrifice.

“Go and learn what this means, I desire mercy, not sacrifice.”

Everyday I go out for a walk, at least one person approaches me for something, sometimes 2 or 3 depending how long the walk is. It’s been like this for a while. I usually attract homeless folks but sometimes it’s just people who are nearby. I think it’s my cheeks.

Here are a few folks who taught me something about my heart vs. God’s heart.

Joseph. Homeless, in his 30s. I’ve met him several times. The first time, at the train station. He was drunk and he ran up to me while I was holding my guitar. It was one of my first times playing publicly and just to worship over an area. “Wheee! Play me a song! Are you any good!?” “Play me an original!” We had a nice chat. I introduced him to my friends. He received prayer and we shared the gospel to him. He didn’t want a bible. But he wanted songs. He listened to me for an hour and made jokes. We all sang Amazing Grace together. He knew all the other homeless folks at the train station. I asked him who his close friends were. And he said he didn’t have any. I said, I’ll see you again and we parted ways. The most striking thing I saw was that while we were singing, another homeless man came up to him, and asked him for some money. And Joseph gave him some change he had in his pocket! Joseph really didn’t have anything it seemed but he gave without hesitation. I was amazed and remembered what I saw.

I saw him again a week later as my other friends and I were walking down the canal. He was drinking with another friend but this time he looked cleaned up, and not like a homeless person. But I could tell he was down. More sober than last time. My friends didn’t know that I knew him already and they start evangelizing to him and his friend. He just sits there and doesn’t complain, but doesn’t look like he’s listening. He tells us he doesn’t believe in God and that he’s not into religion. So I get it, he’s just really not interested. I ask God for a word of knowledge... and all I hear is “he loves fried chicken.” I ask God for more... and that’s all I hear. I debate if it’s worthwhile to even mention. So as we are about to leave, I could tell he is still downcast. My friend turns to me and says “was there something you wanted to share?” and I end up saying “aww I dunno it’s so silly, but I asked God if he wanted to say anything to you, and all I heard was “he loves friend chicken.” At that Joseph bursts out laughing and says “of course I love fried chicken!! Everyone loves fried chicken!” And almost everyone in the group was like “well it’s not my favorite or go to choice of meal.” And the whole dynamics of conversation changes. Joseph at least knows that God knows the very exact things his tastebuds love. We leave Joseph and he ends up saying to me, “I’m sure I’ll see you again.” I said yup! God is like that.

I wish I knew at that time, but I didn’t realize it at the time. I kept asking God why did you only say “he loves fried chicken.” Like nothing more? But then 15 min later, after we had walked away. I felt God say “feed him.” And I was like doh!! How could I have not realized it. So the next time I see Joseph, I’ll be ready to hunt for some fried chicken and just have a chat.

George. He sits by the entrance to Sainsbury, a very strategic location as many people walk by him on the way into this huge grocery store. I first met him with Grace, and we both pray for him and his leg. He is coughing and we ask if he is sick. He says, “I’m Sik.” But it doesn’t register that he’s referring to his faith. So we keep on praying for his health. Haha!

I saw him again a few weeks later as I stood in line for Sainsbury. He points at me and says “Mongolia!”

I say, “No I’m not Mongolian. But your name is George!”

He gasps! Eyes wide open and makes big arm motions, “how do you know my name!?”

“Because Jesus knows you’re name. Do you know Jesus? He knows you and invites you to know him.” People in line in front of me turn to see who I am.

George holds up a bible, apparently someone gave it to him. It’s a nice one. Looks new.

“I’m Sik,” he says. I realize he is talking about his faith. I’m about to pray for him since the line is moving along. But he stand up and says “ok ok thank you! Yes ok ok thank you!” I said why are you thanking me? I haven’t done anything for you.” And he gets in line for groceries right behind me, cutting the other people in line behind me. He just keeps thanking me as the lines moves along and we are both in the grocery store. He points to the ATM and says “thank you thank you.” I said, “oh you didn’t ask me what you wanted, but I’m not going to give you cash.” He says “I just want to make a call to my daughter in Romania. Ask the lady.” So I walk up to the lady behind the counter and say “that man would like to make a call? Is that something he does here?”

She says “I sell SIM cards and top up.”

I said ok, “how much is it to make a call?”

“You can buy increments of £5, £10, £15 and up...”

“Ok I’ll do £5.”

“No £10 please! Thank you! It’s very expensive to call Romania.” George shouts

“Ok £10.” She hands me a receipt and I give that to George. He thanks me profusely and tells me he is seeing a doctor tomorrow because he has really bad psoriasis. I pray for him in the store and he receives the prayer and thanks me. And he says he will pray for me too.

I realized that if he had asked me for £10 I would not have given it to him, but because he told me he just wants to speak to his daughter and go home, I felt compassion for him and £10 wasn’t hard to give at all.

Caroline. 20s. She was a very thin, tall girl with blue eyes, bad teeth, but a nice sweet smile. I think she does drugs. I was in line for a grocery store cuz that’s what I do for fun nowadays. And I didn’t even need anything just curious what’s inside. She addresses everyone in line saying “would anyone like to buy a drawing?” She holds up her tattered journal.

I respond “ooh! You’re an artist! What do you like to draw?”

She kinda ignores me and says, “anyone? A drawing for 50 pence? 20?” Her smile fades as she speaks. No one acknowledges her. No one is talking to anyone else in line. People are like spectators.

“I’ll buy one!” I say happily. “What are you gonna draw? I’ll take anything!”

She starts tearing off the cover of her journal which has a drawing. “Oh you don’t need to tear off your cover, I’ll take anything you drew.”

“I’m sorry this is all I have.” She hands me the page. It looks like a drawing of herself. I say “is this you?” “Uh no.” she says. I give her all the change I have. I ask her if I can pray for her.

“Pray? Uhh” she gets nervous. I sense something demonic is talking to her. “Yup, I’d love to pray for you.” I should’ve just started praying, but she holds her hand out and shrinks and says “I’m sorry, I can’t bear to part with that.” I give the drawing back to her and say oh you can keep it, but I’d love still love to pray with you.” But then she just takes it and walks away quickly.

It’s now my turn to go into the grocery store. I think about that interaction and what I could’ve done differently. But I don’t hear God’s whisper until I’m out of the grocery store. He whispers “I leave the 99, and go after the one.” And wow it hits me like a ton of bricks. I could have left the line and gone after her.

I’m learning...

God’s love is so crazy. I don’t know why I never imagined the lady with an issue of bleeding, the demoniac, or the blind men, the lepers, or man with a shriveled arm - all of these people in the Bible whom Jesus healed - were probably like our modern day homeless folks. And here they are some of the most amazing displays of God’s glory! Lord help me not overlook your children.

Meet the Beckers

Kenny and Grace are kind and hospitable peoples. When I first arrived, folks only saw my quite polite side, since I actually didn’t know anyone that well, not even Collin and Lyndsey who I’m living with. I really felt odd coming to live here, like a guest who wasn’t sure why they were in your house.

But Grace has tried to get to know me from the start, asking me good questions about my family and life back home. Slowly my walls come down. The week that Collin and Lyndsey leave for their 5- year anniversary, I have their place to myself thankfully and I am excited to be alone with God. To worship and pray and just self isolate.

But Grace and Kenny invite me over every morning for breakfast. She makes amazing homemade pancakes and slathers it with dark chocolate and peanut butter. I can’t believe this is ok for breakfast!

God is the best Matchmaker

I heard Kenny and Grace’s supernatural love story. It is incredible! God brought them together from Kansas and Texas. God spoke a name in Kenny’s dream after he only had a brief interaction with her after church one day. 

It was a image with Kenny sitting in front of Grace’s dad, who is the pastor and on the count of 3 they both say the same word “Grace,” and that Kenny asks God “are you trying to tell me Grace is my wife?” Anyhoo long story short they are married 6 months later. I left out a million details but their love story spurred me on to greater faith in God’s ways and how much He loves when two become one and He is a great orchestrater of love. They are 10 years apart and Grace already has 2 kids and is turning 23 in May. They are amazing parents.

Little Abe Big Faith

They have also raised the most amazing little dude, Abe, who became my best friend on this trip so far. He speaks with his own language but after a few weeks I learned how to understand what Abe is saying. He turned 2 while on this trip and we celebrated his birthday with a pizza party!

Abe’s favorite word is “MORE!” And he loves asking for food. He’s not shy at all about it. If you have food, he wants it, even if he just ate for the past 3 hours. He even knows how to pray! When his emotions get worked up, Kenny and Grace tell him “let’s go sit with God.” And together I hear crying and little Abe saying “calm heart... clean mouth.....calm heart... clean mouth.” It has become my favorite little prayer. 

Every morning he grabs my hand and says “nani? cahm bweld haus wi me?” “bill haus with me!” Over the past weeks, we have built a million variations of houses with the same 6 blocks he has and a Jenga set. He never complained that he didn’t have more toys, or that he couldn’t go outside, he always was so happy to build a house with me. I saw so much of the Father’s heart over him and even the Lord saying “It’s your Fathers good pleasure to give you MORE” and “Come, build a house with me.”

How to live by faith

Kenny had a radical encounter with the Lord one day while looking at the stars in the sky from a huge naval ship while filming something. It’s as if God spoke to him and suddenly he was willing to change his life and come back to the Lord. Stop drinking, yes Lord. Stop lying, yes Lord. Stop living in sin, yes Lord. Give your money away and follow me, yes Lord. With a series of small to big yes’s he turned his life away from alcoholism and the life that comes with it to obeying the voice of the Lord.

He gave up his emmy award winning career in journalism and ends up making films for Gospel for Asia and Moving Works, a company in Austin that is 100% donor supported and makes amazing faith inspired stories and testimonies. Here is one that Kenny made while in Japan: https://youtu.be/BZ-5afaHOnM 

I have never met someone who trusts in God so much. Kenny doesn’t get paid by a company for what he does, he prays and asks God to provide for him. He has countless testimonies of ways God provided exactly what he needed. He said, “I feel I have a mandate to work for the Lord because he called me and it is “illegal” for any man to hire me to work for him.”

LOL. He said that because I tried hiring Kenny for a future project and he simply said “I need to pray about it.”

E: “I can tell you more about the project”

K: “I don’t need to know more information, I just need to pray about it.”

For him a job or a project is first and foremost relational and not about money. He asked me to set up a prayer meeting with who we would work for. Again I was amazed. I felt my corporate America mindset begin to slough off. On our call, Kenny asks to hear this man’s heart, not his goals, not his business plans but his heart. This is revolutionary!

Kenny has taught me what it looks like to live by faith. When he needs something, he asks God for it in secret. He brings everything to the Lord. He does nothing apart from Him, not even for a chunk of money, even if he needs it. He would consult the Lord first and foremost. He is excellent in what he does and has won Emmys. He reminds me of the verse “Do you see someone skilled in their work? They will serve before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank.” And he is a humble man. Always fasting. Always trying to hear the Lord.

On the day that the Beckers we’re leaving, I noticed how much I respect them, trust them and care for this family. They have taught me so much!

To my surprise, Kenny comes over to me and asks me to type in my apple login in his computer. I said “that’s silly why?” And then he said again “hey can you type in your Apple login for you new computer?” And I was like nooooo!!! I can’t take this. Kenny wants to give me his Mac laptop. It’s awkward for a few moments and he insists. They are not a materially rich family. I don’t know what to do, but Kenny is not the type that you try to bargin with. I am blessed by him and his family.

“Make beautiful things.” He says.

And I really don’t know what to do. I just cry. and begin to see the kingdom of God a little more.

Week 4: April 7-14

The sweet presence of life

There are a few things I have not mentioned yet, like our sweet mornings where we hear God telling us to “abide and be still” to spend alone time with God, and to “unify in the spirit” as we come together to worship, share, and pray. We also go on walks along the canal quite often, feeding the ducks and praying for folks we meet. We’ve had quite a few special evening dinners together, celebrating my first traditional Seder dinner, Sabbath, anniversaries, birthdays, taking communion, etc. We have become a little family clan since we live across the hall from each other.

Stewarding health is a discipline.

Eating breakfast with everyone means I have learned the magical goodness of chia seeds soaked overnight in coconut milk, mixed with yogurt, berries, peanut butter and topped with granola or muesli - meals I thought only the rich could eat daily. But now I realize that a little goes a long way and it’s quite a healthy, nutritious, and affordable meal. Because I live with very health conscious folks, I’m also seeing all the ways I think differently about what goes into my mouth and how I view cost, food, and health. I’m learning that spending money to steward my health and make healthy choices is a discipline. I had a dream where my perspective was, “eating healthy is a privilege.” And God responded, “no, eating healthy is a discipline.” So I’m starting to have a more disciplined mindset over the choices I make on what goes into my body. ( I only made the first bowl, the other bowls are for inspiration - what Collin and Lyndsey eat.)

Learning moments

I’ve had a few things come up that God has been teaching me, revealing and addressing discrepancies in my ways vs. His ways. Here are a few conversations that have aligned my heart more to the Lord.

I was walking home with Grace one day and a desperate lady in her 50s stops me on the streets, begging me to help her by giving her £30 so she can stay at a hostel that night. She said her husband kicked her out of the house and she lost her baby 2 weeks ago, and she is desperate for help. She came very close to me, almost holding herself back from grabbing my arm, and while I believe I’m covered by the blood of the Lord so I’m safe from covid, I was immediately annoyed at the way she approached me. I was trying to have compassion on her, and said can you wait and let me pray? I just need to hear from the Lord. But she just kept begging and I couldn’t even think or hear from God I was so frustrated. I tried to find compassion and peace in that moment but I wasn’t able to, and ultimately I ended up walking away from that not helping the woman out. It bothered me for the rest of the day and I asked God to help me listen and obey better because I knew the Christian answer was to just pay for the hotel, but I also didn’t want to hand the lady £30 cash.

Ultimately God gives me a dream and shows me graveyards that have been turned into shopping malls, that materialism has overtaken mourning, and through that picture He led me to reflect on Romans 12. Here are a few nuggets that stood out:

“Let love be genuine. Be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”

So the rest of that week I took walks to look for that lady whom I denied the first time I met, but I still haven’t seen her since. I repent.

Father God, do a deeper work in my heart; help me to let go of worldly treasures to have compassion on those who are desperate and in need.

‭How do I pray for a trafficker?

Grace has a heart for ministering to ladies who work in the sex industry. She’s been doing this for years in Kansas, walking around bad neighborhoods and walking right into brothels asking if she can chat and pray with any ladies who are available. Her approach is bold and fearless. We rent bikes to go to the red light district in London to see if brothels are open or if the girls are free to chat. Sometimes pimps aren’t far behind.

We pray in an area where I can feel the spiritual atmosphere is dark and yet semi- quiet. Surprisingly we find an old man feeding pigeons and he is a believer from Greece and offers us the muffins he is feeding the birds. We tell him we came to pray for people and after a chat we pray for him. There are policemen walking around. There are also only men on the streets in that area, but not many. They are all watching us as we pray and worship God in the alleyways. Windows are open. I read and declare a passage of the Bible outloud.

An asian man comes out of one of the buildings with a fancy camera and a few cells phones that have been somehow linked together with wires. His equipment is pretty upgraded. I had a feeling he films porn. I felt the presence of the demonic and tend to start speaking in tongues or worship the Lord in song whenever I feel something I need to battle in the spirit. I feel he is covered in snakes and we both walk around past each other slowly, while he lets us know he sees us, and we let him know we see him. I don’t like him at all.

We went back to this area a few days later. We tried entering massage parlors that still had their “open” signs lit and again prayed, worshipped, declared the word by reading passages of the Bible, asking if anyone wanted prayer etc. Again we see the same Asian dude come out, with his camera gear and phones. This time Grace walks up to him and says “Remember us? We saw you last time. What’s your name?”

“Yin” he says. He has an accent.

“What do you do here? I see you’ve got a lot of gadgets and a nice camera.”

“I am a tourist from the Himalayan mountains. I am Buddhist.”

We start to talk about God and how he knows Yin intimately. He knows everything he’s every done and we share who Jesus is and that he is coming back to judge the world and he asks us to repent from our ways and turn to him. My preaching is not loving, my heart is angry towards Yin and I almost threaten him with the gospel. Saying “it’s not too late, now is the time to repent Yin. God knows everything you’re doing. He sees it all.” Yin figets with his cell phones. I speculate he is recording us, then walks away, not saying anything.

I am surprised at myself at how angry I am and how judgemental I am. I apologize to Grace saying, “I’m so sorry I have no love for that guy. I can’t speak without condemnation.” And she says, “it’s ok, I have love for him.” What how!? “Well we have all sinned and I was once just as unrepentant, but that’s why Jesus extends us grace and allows us to come to him for forgiveness, no matter what kind of wrongs we have done.”

She basically says the gospel all over to me, and it strikes because I never thought of it in this context - how someone who could’ve been a human sex trafficker might’ve received forgiveness. How many lives would be affected if one trafficker turns to Christ! I begin to pray for him from a place of compassion after that. And I ask God to encounter him.

Week 3: March 31-April 7

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; bring an offering and come before him! Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness.‭‭

1 Chronicles‬ ‭16:29‬ ‭ESV‬‬

God continued to answer my prayers as later that week, as I randomly get a text at the exact moment I’m asking God should I go outside to worship or go to sleep? Haha I didn’t want to worship by myself.

But I get a text from Rosie saying Sean is running the canal and wants to meet to worship! Seriously not even 5 min passed from my the time I questioned if I should worship or sleep, and God provided. So I went!

In 10 min I was out the door, guitar in hand, ready to just worship outside. I met Sean for the first time, a British Korean dude. They do exist! He’s an interesting character, all about Jerusalem and saying “Shabbat shalom.” And he tries to evangelize to my friend Grace with oranges and a bible. It was a very hilarious introduction. He actually lives nearby and ran home to grab a cajon. We worship meekly and awkwardly, not powerfully but it’s what I have to offer.

God is still pleased and I just feel Him smiling at us. Haha

Sean really like Kenny and we all make plans to see each other again.

Turns out Sean wants to worship everyday! So we end up making plans to do worship and prayer that week and the weirdest thing is that Sean is friends with Preacha man, Joshua. Apparently they are all part of the same house of prayer. So we all try to gather, and I thank God for giving me all these friends to play with! (Btw this photo was taken pre-corona times so don’t be scurred about how close folks are.)

Sean wants me to see the house of prayer that he started and invites me and Kenny, but kenny has kids to take care of so he couldn’t make it. I end up going by myself even though it’s corona times... and by now there is a lock down but it’s lose. So I’m asking God if I should go.

I was hesitant to go and had many questions like “Is your place clean? Are you clean? Do you have housemates? Are they clean? Please tell me everything is clean, Lord!” What does it mean to be clean nowadays anyways? We are all filled with germs and in need of the one who makes us clean. At the end of my internal debate, I felt like being in a house of prayer and worship will be a good thing.

So I show up and Lord help me, it’s not clean. I have a hard time not commenting about how unclean it is! Unclean! Unclean! I internally comment. I realize I’m a Pharisee.

Turns out He is moving to Jerusalem! Haha and turns out he has been AirBNBing his place. “Whaaa!! Lord, please don’t let their be any corona up in here.” Sean offers me hand disinfectant but I’m already wearing gloves so it’s kind of useless. But I use it anyways.

I fight the fear and accusation I have against him but then he says “we are going live on YouTube in 10 min.” I say for what?! He says for a worship set. And then asks me, “are ok to do 3:30-6?” I was like uh no. I didn’t know we are doing a live thing! I don’t want to be on it.

I felt trapped and deceived, but as I sat there, I thought of exit plans vs. God’s plans and felt like God deserves His worship and even if I feel the approach was bad, the end result was that God would be glorified, so I gathered up my emotions and chose to ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name.

I still didn’t want to be on camera but we praised the Lord and to my surprise folks joined and said they really needed that. I’ve mastered an authentic smile even amidst internal tension.

After the set Sean says he feels so much better because before this he said he thought he had corona. Oh dude! That flipped my switch! And I got kinda mad, “Why didn’t you tell me that? You invited me in thinking you had corona!? And you didn’t say anything?”

“Yea but you just declared for an hour healing and peace. And Jesus worked!”

I was like ok glad you feel better bye. But as I walked home I got so mad at the lack of honesty. And felt used. I knew I could choose to just be silent and never talk to Sean again but I thought it would be more helpful to share than to keep it in. So I said all the things and while I don’t like conflict, I do like having a clean heart. We is cool now but again I feel my lens of discernment creep up.

I realized there was a discrepancy between what I was preaching and praying and what I was believing for myself personally. So much repentance going on while I’m here. Thank you God.

Week 2: March 24-31

Meeting the body of believers

I didn’t know that the folks here weren’t plugged into a church body here. They have a “home church” model, however it’s not plugged into anything larger. Back then the lock down wasn’t enforced yet, so some folks showed up to “house church” in person while others showed up over zoom. (I’m using parenthesis on “house church” because things aren’t defined...yet)

Anyhoo, I was excited to meet the body of believers and experience how they do things here. I had a chance to introduce myself and to my joy, I actually knew like 3 other people from last year when I was here. (I actually forgot I was here last year at the exact same time!)

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone.”

During introductions I had a very rude encounter with someone on zoom who accused me of bringing corona over here after someone in the group coughed once. “Who coughed!? Wait someone over there coughed! Why did you come from America and bring corona here? Now we are all going to get it! How do you know Collin and Lyndsey? Why are you here?” No one stuck up for me but as I tried to stop the guy’s spewing mouth they just said “let the girl speak.” I was the token Asian girl, and completely understand the way people see Asians as bringing corona.

Lord take control of my tongue.

I was bombarded with questions and accusations from this dude and I tried my best to speak with faith but I was getting angry! And my anger turns into tears when I hold it back so I literally started crying in front of everyone. Ughh... what a lame introduction and first impression. I actually was so mad that I sat in the corner and pushed the computer away signaling to everyone “I’m done with you!” I was able to guard my tongue but not my emotions or thoughts.

“God, why didn’t you bring me here? To this? Wow Lord, this is not the kind of spiritual body I thought I’d be walking into. Is this who I’m supposed to run with in this season? This was not worth giving up my lease for and packing up, and taking risks for, etc etc”

My thoughts went on and on and I was “done with this.” I had massive judgements and my lens of discernment was on against everyone. Thankfully, Grace asked me privately if I would like to talk more about what just happened in another room. I knew that if I didn’t I would still and be mad the rest of the night. So I nodded yes. She empathized with me and asked me how I felt and I let it out. She then asked if we could pray together and also if I wanted to, to forgive that guy for the way he spoke.

As I was praying, God showed me a glimpse of that guy’s past and his heart and his fire and his giftings, and told me He’s working on him, and that while it’s not ok what he said, that this guy is going to be used mightily for His kingdom and he doesn’t want to lose him and to give him grace and forgive him. Grace covered me in prayer also. After praying I felt better and rejoined the group, just in time for communion. Collin had found a box of free fancy bread!

It was delicious bread. We spent some time praying for each other. It was a very organic time where it was clear there was no agenda but simply to break bread with one another and pray for each other.

Then Collin asks me if I’m still willing to lead worship, and I was down, but I felt like God asked me to worship publicly. So we all got our coats and walked to this awesome building nearby where it’s like a big empty hall. Keep in mind I haven’t led worship in a long long time and I haven’t practiced, but I really just wanted to encounter the Holy Spirit and I missed how thick His presence feels at the Ark.

A lady recorded us while worshipping and we prayed for her and her son. She stayed the entire time.

The lady then posts a 4 min edited version of our worship night on her Facebook feed and sends it to us. Praise the Lord!

Send me more intercessors

I asked God to send me more friends and specifically intercessors. People I could go to war with in the spirit. And literally a day after I prayed that I was walking by the canal and saw this girl trying to take a selfie. I jokingly said “would you like me to take your photo? I’m a professional.” She exuberantly said yea! And handed me her phone, not quite afraid of germs yet. She asks me if I’m American or Canadian lol, and asks me how long I’ve been here,etc. I end up telling her a brief testimony of why I came just last week to follow God’s voice here and that my heart is just to worhsip and pray for folks until God tells me more.

She gets really excited and says “no way! I was just walking up and down the canal interceeding for the boat community! Yea I was speaking in tongues and everything!”

Rosie went to Bethel’s SWM, plays keys, is into creative art expressions and plugs me into an intercession group here on WhatsApp. God answers prayers quick!!

She mentions a dude named Sean has a Kings Cross house of prayer here somewhere. So she gives him a call but no answer, so we hang out the rest of the day. Thank you Father for sending me friends who like to pray!

God sends me more friends

Collin and Lyndsey we’re leaving for their 5 year anniversary so I was going to by by myself for a week, so I asked God to send me more friends. People I could run with. And as Collin and Lund we’re going to the train stay they messaged us saying “there’s a guy at the station doing open air preaching and he’s pretty good! You should join him!”

So I literally run out the door with guitar in hand. I see him there preaching at the train station and it seems like no one is listening. I jump onto scene like a sidekick to a superhero and say “hi! I’ve come to join you!” Hahahahahah!! What a weirdo.

He says, “well alright, I was about to buy this man some food, but I’ll come back then. Maybe you can worship and intercede here.” Thankfully my friends Kenny and Grace were there so I had courage and did not feel like an idiot. I just worshipped and prayed, as they spoke to people coming up to us.

The preacher dude comes back, his name is Joshua, and he says how about you sing a few songs then I’ll preach? Ok! His preaching is good, in a calm, kind, Bristish accent tone. He seamlessly preaches about the last song we sang “Turn your eyes upon Jesus.” After he’s done preaching something came over me, and I start praying and interceeding, loudly! Oh dude it get ugly like tears and shouting, repenting loudly, on behalf of the people, asking God to heal our land and then I start to invite people to come and receive prayer if no one has prayed for you lately, if you have fear or anxiety or worry, or depression! If you want freedom and joy and peace, etc and surprisingly I open my eyes and there are 2 people there wanting prayer. We each take one and pray, and the dude I’m talking with really wants freedom from fear, and he’s so afraid of being sick. I share with him the good news that we need not fear sickness or even death because of Jesus Christ! He invites Jesus to be his Lord and Savior. We spend a good amount of time praying and declaring truths and he takes a bible and I feel he needs to keep reciting truths. He asks about church but now everything is online, and he needs a computer to join. He didn’t have one so I said God will be with you when you read His word.

I didn’t take a photo of any moments but Kenny had filmed some of the preacher dude before I got there, and he eventually makes this video:

https://vimeo.com/406276698

Week 1 - March 17- 24

No plague shall come near your tent.

I survived the flight to London though it was surprisingly packed, and many were coughing. It seemed like 1 in every 5 was sick and not wearing masks. I felt all I could do was pray for folks and invite Jesus to take control of the air we breath and to purify and cleanse that. When I felt intercession was done, I moved to business class and giggled to myself that I could sit there.

I figured if I got covid it would be because I was breathing contaminated air for 10 hours, and I was fully prepared to get sick and get it over with. But in the days/ weeks to come I was actually surprised with how healthy and alive I felt and recognized the covering of the Lord upon me.

The covering of health came in the form of God building my faith. He’d smile and almost as if I was silly to think otherwise He said,  “Fear not, little lamb, with faith it’ll be a LOT harder to get sick.” 

Whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.

I had very little information coming into London and the blaring question on my mind was “what am I doing here?”

I felt like a blindman asking God for directions constantly, grasping to hear His voice. I knew one thing before landing, that I needed a guitar, cuz I have a feeling I’ll be worshipping and praying a lot.

The first day I landed stores were closing as the entire world was going into shut down mode. So I dropped off luggage, chatted with host friends, Collin and Lyndsey, bought some food and toilet paper, ate, slept, and woke up the next day to look for a guitar. But I found out the other half of the team had already gone to Darby and was among the Kurdish muslim community to possibly film some of their stories.

I wanted to go to Darby too but I was dependent on one of the hosts willingness to also go. Originally I was told I would be able to minister with the Kurdish refugee community and I felt like this was one of the last opportunities to go, but technically it wasn’t planned that I would go.

But I felt like this is what I can here for, so in order to take hold of the opportunity, I first needed courage to speak up for what I sensed. As much as I didn’t want to stir the pot, I felt God saying, “there’s no harm in asking for what you want.”

I laid my desire to go to Darby on the table, the others welcomed me and a few hours later hopped on a train. I told my friends it’s on my agenda to get a guitar before everything closes, so I’d probably have to buy one in Darby. When I arrived at the AirBNB, surprise! surprise! A guitar was sitting on my bed ready and waiting.

Collin had picked one up for me while I was on the train. (It will be his future birthday gift.) God is good.

Meeting the Kurds

The rest of that week, I spent getting to know “the rest of the team” which were Kenny and Grace, and little Abe and baby Maranatha. We all lived together in a 2 bedroom space. Filmed a few interviews of Kurdish testimonies. Did some street evangelism with Grace, chatted and prayed with people on the streets and in their businesses. The Kurdish people were so amazingly sweet and generous. We wanted to bless one of store owners by buying things but she only accepted cash, and when I didn’t have any cash, she said “oh, you can just have it!” And I was blown away by her generousity. I found and ATM and came back to bless her and pray for her. We ended up praying for a bunch of other folks in the area and many who were fearful and anxious about what will happen. I was able to share my testimony with many folks and shared truths from God’s word that was relevant to how folks were feeling and questioning God. My friends encouraged me saying that Muslims usually will have 5 arguments or statements that they have been taught but once you get past those 5, they are so full of questions and are curious about Jesus. So we searched for open hearts. Everyone was mostly refugees and Muslim, but there’s a growing community of Christians who are so eager and excited to share the love of Christ with the folks here as well and that was so exciting.

Everything was still open in this town while we were there. But people were flocking to the grocery stores to stock up on food and other necessities. Meanwhile I only had enough for the next meal and I felt pretty ok with it. Ate some good Mediterranean food. Filmed some sheep. Watched Collin literally run up a mountain in like 15 minutes as a drone followed him. Cooked a salmon dinner for everyone with some folks I met last year, and it was a fun lil pod of folks. No one here seemed to be worried about corona, which was such a different atmosphere to be in. I tried to stay focused and in tune with the Holy Spirit but it was hard to hear him.

My sheep hear my voice

We drove around Darby to get footage of the city and ended up finding some epic farmland packed with rolling green hills, mountains, and sheep! I was quite amazed that the sheep actually do follow the shepherd’s voice when he calls. As we watched Collin run up a mountain, the farmer was calling his sheep in, and they were scattered all over some in little clusters, some two by two and some by themselves all over a giant field. But all at once I saw them make a migration in the same direction, as the farmer hollerd to them, which I could barely hear.

I just loved seeing how quickly the sheep obeyed, when their master called. No matter how far they were they all turned and headed in the same direction. This is my prayer for a spirit of unity here.

Random beauty

Here’s a video Kenny ended up making based off Psalms 23, which Collin had memorized and just thought “hey why not record me reciting this...”

https://vimeo.com/401616876

March 16: God’s Goodness

Greetings my beloved friends and family,

I hope you are all well and finding the goodness of God in everything. This is a late note of gratitude but the feelings are still fresh in my heart. Thank you so much for sending me off with such surprise and love! To Emily + friends who rallied and taught me what it is to be “sent” by the body, that I am not alone but am still connected, and fully loved. To Joyce for hosting and nourishing, always feeding me with more than just food, but with security, presence, comfort and love. To Hubert for releasing more freedom and joy in me to move and praise Him without shame! To Liz, Tiff, Brian, Jon, Gina, Bea, Elkan, Emily and Anna for being the best surprise musical intro to life I have ever stumbled upon. To Nancy, who truly surprised me with presenting such a lavish gift on behalf of the body that I had no idea how supported I really was and providing me comfort in knowing I will be more than just fine.  And I love love love the photo album that you all put together for me. 

I felt lavished by you all and sip on sweet memories that brings refreshment to my soul. I truly was not expecting anything like that. I am overwhelmingly blessed by you all both materially and spiritually. Thank you for your generous gift and dousing me with love and support! I’m so thankful. God is good.

So why did I fly out to London?  

This was the result of a question I had been trying to discern for a few years on how to live a life more aligned to the values He gave me. What do I value? Why am I not living according to my values? What does it mean to follow Him? Where is He leading me? What is he leading me to do? I didn't have a lot of  answers but felt I needed boldness and faith to break free from the norm, and that in order to grow, I needed to trust him more, take bigger risks, and experience more of His goodness.  

Before everyone was experiencing the lockdown, I had been working remotely at home for 10 years and many times felt like a caged bird that stayed in its cage when the door was open for me to fly away. My cage was simply comfort, stability, and control. but even having all those things became empty. God freed me from that cage by having me fired in mid-Feb! 

God is good.

The package deal.

The day after being fired, I was offered to come to London to "build the kingdom" there. I had some missionary friends, Collin and Lyndsey,  who ministered with various tech companies in the heart of London by teaching discipleship training and they also helped disciple believers with former muslims in a Kurdish refugee community in a neighboring city. There was a need for a person with my media skillset,  an opening for a place to live rent-free, and even a possibility of having my expenses covered by one of the projects I would be working on. So I felt like God was giving me a package deal to say yes to living more aligned to His kingdom. After reviewing it with wise counsel, I decided to go for it and bought a one-way flight even while the whole Corona virus was ramping up.

The only thing I had to do was to be willing to give up my lease and be willing to let go of material things and be willing to ask for help - help moving, help giving things up, help me to go. Thankfully my brother-in-law asked to have my bed, my sister was going to be blessed with my car, and my parents let me store my clothes and stuff in their garage! and God provided a friend to take my rental agreement all within a week or so! and every time I thought about turning back, I had plenty of friends give me courage to continue going.

God is good.

God is in the details.

My original flight to London was scheduled to fly out on March 16th at 2:45pm, with a layover in Portugal, and then a short flight to London. I found out that morning that my flight had been cancelled, but felt like the Holy Spirit said "you're going to have to try."  which meant... go to the airport now even though it’s 11am. 

The reality was that I'd have to spend more money, and buy a new flight on a diff airline. Or I could back out and not go, (because I was seriously doubting if I heard God correctly or not, and if we were going to be in lockdown then what difference does it make? Why send me to a country that isn’t handling the corona virus as seriously as other countries? Maybe it’s better for me to be locked down with my parents?) I had a bunch of questions but felt I needed to just be faithful with “trying” to get on the plane. 

God had me name my terms if I were to buy a new flight and I felt I would only buy a new flight if it was under $500, includes my luggage and was refundable and nonstop. Only 2 airlines were still operating: British Airways and United, and I found a United flight for Tues, March 17th that met my check off list, but an hour after buying my ticket a friend told me lockdown goes into effect at midnight and airlines weren’t sure if they’d have to cancel all flights. 

God said to “just ask” to switch flights to depart today.  I ask the lady at the counter and she ultimately says said no, directing me to cancel my ticket and repurchase a flight for today, but the flight I wanted was over $1,000. I feel like well... now what, and I feel God say, “ask again.” So I did and to my complete surprise, the 2nd lady I spoke to just made it happen, no questions asked. I felt like I was handed a golden ticket, and clearance with just enough time to get on my flight. 

Had I been on the original flight I would’ve been stuck in Portugal, as I found out during boarding that the UK was closing it borders to incoming European countries effective at midnight.

God is good. Thank you Lord!