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ego-fifth · 1 year

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Pinning the topics and notes into a general conversation with myself.

Putting a bit of structure on the next blogs, but still kind-of freestyle. Now I get to summarize my paragraphs as headers.

RELEASE

Obviously, people need to release their stress one way or the other to get back on track of their sanity.

Otherwise, its not gonna be very efficient.

You'll end up angry, unsatisfied, moody or burnt out.

MAP

The next thing on my mind is having a map. A guide. A north start. A common idea that binds you to stick to the theme on whatever challenges may come up on your quest.

I better name my quest now to understand this personal/career project. Let's name it "Owning!", a product owner's project charter to leading an exciting and challenging career of being a solution's owner. Hmmm.

Ok back to the topic. Map. Thats why we just named a project. This will help us get guided. A clear goal, a clear map can help you boost your productivity, focus and general happiness with your career.

COMMUNICATION

The next thing that rattles me next is communication. I am so oustanding in corporate communications, but flunk bad in relationship conversations. Obviously, you are emotionally rattled. You can't think straight.

I need to up my game in managing relationships to make this new career. It doesn't need to be personal or hard. Let's keep things easy and fun while still being productive and efficient. That's the win-win situation.

BRANDING

As a person that is navigating the corporate world, and even though millenials are taking up the "caling the shots" seat, I cant help but still notice traces of old school management that is rather rigid, fear-induced and not so much fun. I want to contribute on changing this mechanic moving forward. (see, I do have a lot in mind, just nothing getting done at the moment, which is quite frustrating.)

ROUTINE

I was able to maintain 2 minimal activities that I need to do on an everyday basis, and the rest seems nothing valuable or significant is moving on. Just keep at it, and let's put something on top as we move along. You need to get better in establishing your routines.

HOPE and POTENTIAL FOR CHANGE

I hope we dont forget about the feeling of hope. To not ceasing and quiting. We can rest, but dont we quit. We keep moving forward, even if it's a tiny step a day, its better than nothing at all.

Humans, and yourself has a high potential for change (for better or for worse, its your call), and that humans have been moving forward since the dawn of our time. We keep reinventing to be better, and you have to realize you are part of that movement. :)

Good talk EF. Let's catchup again next time for some brain flushing. Let's be oustanding!

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ego-fifth · 1 year

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30:30 with Joe

Hey, how’s it going.

Just wanted to say straight up, im doing this to do my, quarterly? mind flushing. To get back on track, to look at the larger picture and not get distracted.

Lately, ive been stressed. Or is the smart watch that makes me think I am stressed, and deprived of sleep (and myself saying im deprived of my own money).

I mean look.

I was really hoping that being a person that works with information and concepts will bring joy to my life. But the caution there is that you would need to learn managing these concepts or be at their mercy from getting stressed on them not being managed properly.

At work, I have an additional responsibility to become a better model or example for the other colleagues. At work-work (inception style), I have to be the sharpest product manager there is, that knows what is on top of every topic relating to our application. That is very stressful.

Maybe its just my expectations, maybe that really isnt my boss' expectations but it sure does help us as a team that I am "a little more than a meter from the top". That steals the joy from knowing that I am not at the top-most of things.

Maybe I need to be a little more clear on the intention of what I am writing now no?

I need to find out exactly why am i pissed.

And this could stem from work, not delivering my best. From my other work responsibility of being a leader, it felt like I have to prove something. But do I? Can I just keep being myself, and focus on adding value rather than establishing supporting poles? Makes me remember the theory of kicking the cat. Story goes that a man gets scolded in the office. The man goes home pissed, and lashes out on his wife. The wife also troubled by the lost of things going on, lashes on her kid. The kid, confused on why he got scolded also lashed out and kicked the cat. The cat gets hurt, but them animals dont have the concept of putting the stress on others. It ended with them, the hurt and somehow as pets would still love us despite our bypasses. This story just shows that the actions that happened in between the man and the cat couldve been avoided if you just went on straight on kicking the cat. Of course that is also cruel, but the lesson there is that no one deserves to get whip of your stress. Bear your cross and get stronger.

I guess this is a reminder, pain is there to bear, to get stronger, to be better to get to the next level. Otherwise, there is no point. There is no challenge to be won, to be celebrated.

But then I would rebutt, that I am not doing things fast enough. Or fulfilling them enough. Maybe you are doing too much with your capacity. You cant be superman. Acknowledge your limits and assess where you are in the map and target the next milestone. You are bound for a long long long time of disappointment if you try to target a far goal when your capacity is also miles away from that. That is the target, but not the immediate goal.

Eat the elephant. One bite at a time.

Dont get too frustrated. Enjoy the challenges. Create the solutions. Plod, reflect (things like this), and carry on.

Wrting really does wonderful thing. Ive been doing this since highschool/college. And it sure has helped me alot.

Its funny that I do this with myself. Rather than with another person. Maybe my standards are too high (for other people, and too low on myself, hyprocritical sure). And this also signifies how hard it is to find friends as you grow older.

Hey.. are you getting jealous with? Dont sweat it man. Where you placed yourself is a rockbed. Might not give you lots of resources at the moment, but it secures you whatever happens.

Now lets asses again. What is the most important thing right now? Not work. Not work-work. Not even PLDT. Not you not being able to enjoy your time or your resources. Not your colleagues. Not your friends (they are also busy with their lives). Not your commute. Definitely not money is the issue now (time maybe is).

What's important is your sanity. Your peace of mind. Your mindset. Your hope. Your partner, your bestfriend. Your family. Your son's health. Your purpose. Your health. Your contribution to the community.

Ask yourself, is this worth getting stressed over. Is this worth hiring a worker and spending money on that worker just to stress over and get angry at something that almost has no value or meaning to your larger purpose?

What you have is limited. Your presence. Your time. Your experience.

So, did I have an awesome weekend? Not really. But this tops the cake for me, a little time with myself to assess things. Not escaping via gaming. Not escaping by working.

Celebrate that you had a lot of sleep and time to recover. Celebrate the streaks you have with learning German language. Celebrate the streaks of doing a routine to keep yourself healthy. Celebrate that you are being a good example. Celebrate that you have gone so far.

You are fine. Just keep walking. There is far more opportunities and experiences awaiting for you in this brief moment called life. Contribute as much for the world, dont think of yourself, think of giving value always.

Dont mind the scold. Its nothing personal. It's for your individual improvement. Not everyday is christmas.

Dont mind the lapses. Mind the solutions. Mind the next steps.

Dont mind the alarms being manifested by anyone on to you. That is their fire alarm, not yours. Dont be an enabler. Dont be a fixer.

Be a leader! Be strong, if not for yourself, but for your partner. You rest, but dont you quit! We have alot of experiences that we still need to experience.

So go be bold, be fearless, be unstoppable. Enjoy the fucking weekend! :)

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ego-fifth · 9 years

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I just can't believe how you were able to pull that off. Pulling me back again and then dropping me from the height of the roller coaster ride you let me rode in, excited and clueless of the pain that awaits me.

#mourning

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ego-fifth · 13 years

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Alam mo yung Pimple?

Tangina naman oh. Kelan ba ko titigilan netong walastik na bukol na to. sa araw na araw na lang, baket kelangan existing ka sa buhay ko.hahaha. pero, buti na lang mejo obedient ka pa nyan. pag nakikita ko ung pizza faces ng ibang tao, josko mahabag buti na lang di ako yun. hahaha. sobrang dyahe kaya yun, macoconscious ka na, iritable ka. aishh. kelan kaya mawawala to, sobrang damage na din tong face ko eh. hindi na nga ulzzang, pepestehin pa ng pimples. :))

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ego-fifth · 13 years

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You know what? Fuck you.

ahhh.. what a relief.

i guess we coward people can do nothing but just say this thing indirectly and online. well, it helps. it lets the stress out and on the other hand, no one is being attacked, the enemy is anonymous.

i would be really happy if i can illustrate to you how do i call my enemies when i see them.

i laughed really hard when we and my classmates are drinking outside and i have shared this habit of mine. and one of my classmate said "Pre, ano na ba lagay sa utak mo? ilang beses nako nagrespawn(a term for ressurection of character when it died)?"

yeah, im a big coward. well, they are pretty petty to be seriously talked about one on one. so instead, oh im tired, ill just give you a break in my mind lets play counter strike and i have the one shot this time. >:D

oh, im passing by a big hypocrite(yeah, we might call ourselves little hypocrite, because everyone does become so from time to time. FU your holy if your not.).. now this big hypocrite, right now in my mind im holding a 45 pistol, and he's sitting there talking to a pretty girl(its always the bad guys who are with the good girls). okei, in 4, 3, 2, 1 BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM !!! right on the head cracked already in two from constant shots. im so BAD. >:D

yes hes dead.... in my mind. in reality i would be like la la la la... bitch* after passing or whispers *bang bang bang!. hahaha. im like a kid. well its better than fist fighting which just leads to humiliation and physical pain.

yes, i do talk from their backs. should i say it in front of him, i guess my 19 years of existence is still not enough for me to tell people how do i dislike them. well, its not like they like me too. so that diverts me to think, that oh well, why waste talking to him, he wont understand after all.

so thats just it. i do this. how bout you, would you mind telling me how do you kick your enemy's butt? :D

for freedom, happiness and peace! FU!!!

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