eddiemunsonbignaturals
isn’t it time you DIED?
impressionable; into teeth.pussy-first sideblog; diary entry; love note to myself, and you, and commas.
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eddie w animal from the muppets <3
It’s The Muppet Show! With our very special guest Mr. Eddie Munson!
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“i have a problem that has HIS NAME SCRIBBLED all over it.”
eddie munson & lacy doevski are enemies to friends to idiots to accomplices to lovers and even criminals too in HELLFIRE & ICE
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“The point of horror is to survive” “the point of horror is to be doomed” maybe the point of horror is to cum
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The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy.
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the sandwich price to minimum wage ratio is getting so fucked up
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pleas job good feeling buoy hopes job lite in tunnel time thots prayers 🧿
maybe new job maybe will let me live comfy w ONE job . old coworker working there now to talk me up. i am unqualified but as in no school i’m a good baker ok clean and detail oriented in a makes me mad way gianttttttt fucking chump of an employee hav a steady hand w decorating okay . i do a rly good job bosses love to say so yes next to ppl w culinary degrees yes after doubles yes i’m stealing that sandwich fuck u anyway i can do it my exp is spotty as fuck on paper but its legit. but steven will u save me steven (hiring manager steven ) steven open you heart bby
#jobnow wants to give me my pastry job back but i cant trust it to be consistent i love my coworkers i even rly like the manager but HIS boss#es dont care if i die of exposure so when hrs get cut its me last in first fucked so i have toooooo i need . im gonna die. im fine need thi#s job tho#i was writing most when i was happy (unemployed w savings) i cant even play in clay wo feeling l#im gonna ddddiii im fine im gonna d#back hurt back hurt back hurt back h#pls new job i need time for resl workouts my ankles r going to …. SNAP!!!!!!!!!#steven sent three (3) exclamation points per email steven dont fuck me.
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gimme a hand
okay so i saw a silly tiktok abt how guys take nudes wrong and thought our lovely best friend reader could help eddie take some !! i am a little tipsy so pls excuse any mistakes
mdni. 18+. smut. like, literally just smut. fem!reader x eddie.
“so.. how are things with you and.. whatshername?” clicking your fingers in his face.
eddie scoffs, batting your hand away, “chrissy is her name,” correcting your childish behaviour, “and it’s good, we’ve been.. texting a little,” shrugging nonchalantly.
you and eddie had been best friends for years, though these hang outs were few and far between now. both too busy with the perils of adult life to sit around and smoke weed all day, like you used to.
that meant that your relationship had skewed a bit, no longer as close as you once were. though you still tried to feign an interest in his, mostly nonexistent, love life.
he understood though, your life was far too interesting to care about the very small roster of girls he was seeing.
“texting?” you exclaim, stubbing the embers of the joint out into the ashtray, “so you haven’t seen her since?”
eddie shakes his head, realising that what he had thought was an exciting update, was actually just a pathetic retelling of a long text thread.
“i think we’re just.. testing the waters,” brushing off your disappointment. he contemplates even telling you anymore but what kind of a best friend would he be if he didn’t at least tell you all the details. “she sent me pictures the other day,” wriggling his eyebrows.
“pictures?” a slight mocking tone to your voice that he doesn’t like, “what kinda pictures?”
his face scrunches up, cheeks flaming red, as if it wasn’t obvious. “you know.. naughty ones.”
you whistle, blowing the air from your cheeks in the most sarcastic manner, “naughty pictures.. wow eddie, you’re really moving up in the world. did you send any back?”
his head dips, regretful of ever sharing this with you. you had never had a lack of choice for guys lining up for you. even back in high school. of course you wouldn’t understand.
“no..” shrugging again, “i don’t.. don’t know how.”
“you don’t know how to send nudes?” utter shock rippling through your voice, “didn’t i teach you anything?”
“not how to send nudes!” he hits back, getting increasingly frustrated that you’d rather mock him than help him get laid for once.
“i can help you if you want,” you offer, “i don’t have to watch.. i can just.. guide you?” proposing the question as if it were a completely standard conversation for you two to be having.
“really?” his eyes bright and full of hope.
eddie really liked chrissy, she was sweet and the times they had hung out, they got on well. he just wasn’t equipped to match her flirting, afraid he’d overthink himself into losing her.
“sure,” you smile, grabbing his phone as you stand from the couch, “come on,” beckoning for him to follow you down the corridor to the bathroom.
you bundle into the trailers tiny bathroom, poised in front of the mirror with his phone in hand.
“you stand here..” you instruct, guiding him by the shoulders, “you need to get hard,” grinning as you look at him through the mirror, “i’ll stand outside and just.. tell you what to do, okay?”
eddie’s too high for this, wondering how you’d gone from a joint and a couple of beers to now helping him sext the girl he liked.
you disappear outside, shoving his phone into his chest, the knob clicking quietly as the realisation of what the hell he was doing sets in.
“so..” he poises, swiping onto the camera, posing himself in the dirty mirror, “pull my pants down, right?” wanting to make sure that he got nothing wrong.
“yeah, but not all the way, just like.. a little bit.”
okay, he thinks. tugging his sweatpants down just beneath his balls, his boxers following suit. he was getting hard just thinking about it, the fact that you were instructing him what to do wasn’t helping.
his fingers wraps around the base of his cock, pumping his fist a few times, stifling the groan that had settled in his throat.
this was already weird enough, he didn’t need to make it weirder.
“okay..” his voice quivering, “what now?”
you tut, “pull your shirt up.. or off, it looks bad otherwise.”
eddie does as you ask, taking his shirt off and tossing it into the floor with the rest of his dirty clothes. he peers at the image through the screen, inwardly cringing at how stupid he looked.
“i don’t know,” though his dick was already stiff, aching for him to continue. “i look stupid,” he frowns, attempting to position the phone differently, although nothing seemed to help his pathetic stature.
“no you don’t,” your voice rings through the door, “now you gotta pose it.. make it look good, sexy.”
his eyes squeeze shut, wishing you’d stop talking with that low growl in your voice. this was for chrissy’s benefit, not his. getting off to the sound of your voice while trying to arouse another girl was not the plan.
eddie exhales, opening his eyes to reposition the phone, closer to the mirror. his fist begging to move and finish the job.
nothing helped, in fact, it looked worse than before. chrissy’d block him if he dared sent anything like this.
fuck, he felt like a pervert. this was wrong. twisted.
“have you done it?” you call.
“no,” he gulps, frowning at the image of himself in the mirror.
you huff, knuckles wrapping against the door, “i’m gonna come in, okay?” giving him no time to think before you appear next to him in the mirror.
your eyes fall straight to his cock, widening every so slightly, “wow.. okay,” chuckling awkwardly as you snap back into it. “you have to..” your hand lowers his phone, straightening the camera position for him.
his breath is jagged, on the edge of exploding and splattering all over his bathroom. whatever buzz he had had from the weed had dissipated, replaced by the hazy tingly sensation of your hand near his cock.
“and then..” you look to him, in person this time, not through the safety of the mirror, before wrapping your fingers around the ones that were still lingering around his cock. “do this..” voice trailing off into a low whisper, using his fist to pump his already leaking cock.
a strangled gasp leaves his mouth, heat searing through his body. mind too fuzzy to truly comprehend the shit he was seeing and feeling.
the heat of your body presses against his back, delicate fingers still travelling the length of his cock, “film it,” not once letting your eyes fall from the side of his face while his stay firmly on the mirror in front.
maybe this way he could pretend it wasn’t real, that he was just watching some video and you weren’t actually jerking him off by-proxy.
eddie, ever obedient, presses the record button, sighing into his phone as your his hand continues to move.
his knees almost buckle, kept afloat by the sound of you panting into his ear. it was almost too much, his brain collapsing into itself as your hand takes over, ignoring the phone in his hand to continue making him whine and quiver like that.
the weight of your body presses him into the cold china basin, eyes travelling from his face to his dick and right back up again.
you could’ve told him to jump right now and he would’ve. other hand reaching around to grab onto whatever part of you he could get a grip on.
your lips trace against his neck, lingering against the skin. he couldn’t keep the phone straight, the video would just be some big blur of him groaning and the sink. not that it matters. not while you’re touching him.
“is this good?” you ask, breath tickling against his ear.
eddie nods rapidly, “good.. so good,” fingers twisting around your shirt as his eyes flutter closed. “fuck,” he gasps, the phone slipping from his hand onto the counter when your thumb circles the tip of his dick. an otherworldly feeling he had never been able to feel before.
“yeah?” you grit, pulling his hand, signalling for him to turn. his bones were jelly, body mailable and under your control. his back now pressed against the sink, foreheads pressed together.
one hand holds onto your hip while the other finds your cheek, lazily trying to connect your lips. your knee slides between his legs, spreading them just enough for your other hand to creep between and grab his balls.
“ohh shit,” eddie wails, kissing at your bottom lip, sucking at the skin.
nothing felt real, waiting for his alarm to pull him out of this fucked dream to a sticky puddle and a new perspective on your friendship.
your expert fingers fondle his balls while the other fists his dick, pre-cum making your fingers glisten and move with ease.
his throat squeaks, the most pitiful noise a grown man could’ve made, his bottom lip still latched onto yours.
ten years of friendship and yet the two of you had never even kissed before. wishing you wouldn’t have wasted so much time on actually doing it. a newfound adoration for the sweet taste of your lips and the friction of your palm rubbing against his cock.
“i’m gonna cum,” he babbles, stomach flipping, waves of pleasure crashing through his tingling limbs.
you don’t respond to his whining, your nose brushes over his as his breaths become shallow and staggered. a iron clad grip on your shirt as he teeters over the edge, hips stuttering into your palm.
“ohh fuck,” eddie mewls, bursting all over your hand, “shit.. fuck, oh god,” your eyes dark, gazing down at your hand still wrapped around him, somewhat proud of what you’ve achieved.
he lets go of his hold on your body, hurriedly trying to find the counter to ground himself. his head a million miles away on mars, his lack of thoughts disrupted by the sound of the water running.
chest still heaving as he braves a look at you, watching his release swirl down the drain. you’re chewing on your bottom lip, a sudden realisation that you had just made your best friend cum maybe. he doesn’t really want to ask. hoping you won’t regret it.
eddie picks up his phone, stopping the recording, his thumb shooting straight to the tiny trash can until you grab his wrist.
“don’t delete it,” a fire within your eyes, twisting the screen in your direction, “i wanna watch.”’
his finger hovers over the play button, looking to you though your eyes are trained on the screen, waiting for him to press play.
the video starts, shaky footage as the audio of his pathetic grunts and gasps fill the tiny bathroom. eddie can’t bring himself to watch, forcing himself to watch you rather than the video.
you’re smiling to yourself, smug at the sight of you making him crumble. he wants to be embarrassed, can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and yet, he doesn’t turn it off.
“maybe don’t send that..” you remark, finding his eye, that mischievous sparkle that eddie hadn’t seen in years, reappearing.
he needed to feel you, in the way that you had felt him. cock already reawakening when your lips twitch into a smirk.
shit.
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This was everything he ever wanted.
And some things he only ever let himself dream of.
Eddie stared upwards at the towering skyscrapers. He let the lights twinkle in his eyes, absorbed all the sounds and smells, and tried not to smile.
This was it.
The moment it all changed.
He was just a small town boy and suddenly he was stepping into a brave new world, a big city with his friends, away from everything he'd ever known.
Away from his only family, his uncle Wayne.
It was terrifying but he knew his uncle was proud of him.
Proud that he was gonna make something of himself, more than his father did or, truly, anyone else in the family. Proud that he waited and finished school first. Proud that he let his friends finish school too before springing them from their sad little destinies of putzing about their close-minded community.
Well, maybe not proud of that last one exactly. More relieved that Eddie wouldn't be out in the universe alone and that all of the boys would have each other.
Eddie was a little relieved about that too, to be honest. Jeff, G'areth, and Dave had been his backbone for years. While other friends moved on, got themselves out and didn't look back, they made sure he knew that they were in it together.
Still, he would miss Wayne. Hell, they'd miss each other, more than either of them could ever admit aloud. It’d been years since they had anyone more than each other to rely on.
Wayne knew Eddie had a bigger destiny on the horizon and getting out was the first step and the hardest one.
But here he was.
Backpack slung over his shoulder, guitar safely packed away for the big move, lucky vest thrown over comfortable travel clothes.
Out of the pit he called home for the past 20 years. Free to be himself. Finally.
There was a crash behind him and he turned on his heel, idealistic daydreams forgotten, to find his friends standing over a fallen pile of boxes.
“Careful with those!” Eddie hollered and winced as another box crashed onto the durasteel floor of the landing platform.
"Kriff, I'm pretty sure it was part of my drum kit," G'areth ran a hand through his hair and heaved a long sigh.
"We're never gonna pass the cargo inspection if we don't have our shit together," Dave panicked.
"Here we go," Jeff rolled his eyes as Dave started heaving and whining about Empire this and trooper that. Eddie waved a dismissive hand and motioned for his friend to start restacking their belongings.
"Listen, hey, listen," Eddie grabbed Dave by the shoulders to look him in the eye. "Breathe. When the inspector gets here, everything's gonna be ok. We're just a couple of guys coming to Coruscant to play a few gigs at some cantinas, trying our luck to make it big, and if it works out, maybe we'll stay. How many others have tried that before? Huh?"
"Tried and failed."
"You get it," he squeezed Dave's shoulders and shot him a calm smile. "Bunch of dumb scrapper kids from Bracca? We're not gonna make it far. In a month, we'll either be slinging Bantha Hash at a diner or fixing shuttle thrusters in some shop in CoCo town."
"I think I'm just nervous, Ed."
"It's alright. I'm nervous too. But what's the worst that could happen? We're not hauling anything illegal." Not yet.
"What if they just send us back?"
"Then at least we made it this far," he clapped a hand on his back.
If Eddie was a betting man, he'd put all of his money that they'd make it even further.
And he'd win.
The inspection went without a hitch, although all three of Eddie's friends nearly shit themselves at the sight of two stormtroopers in the speeder along with the imperial inspection officer. Which meant he did most of the talking.
He did pretty well, if he said so himself. Remained calm, had all of his paperwork in order, made sure to mention his father's old sabacc buddy--Lip Tonrick, a name that he always mixed up--as a contact.
He even got the inspection officer to laugh at a joke about their ship, a clunky old retrofitted defender-class corvette that he affectionately called the Dragonborn, thanks to its scaly red exterior.
Before they knew it, the inspector was off to the next landing platform, and they were in the clear.
Eddie turned to his friends with his arms out triumphantly.
"We're gonna do big things, boys!" He cheered amidst their whooping and hollering. "We're gonna make a name for ourselves."
He was gonna make a name for himself.
Eddie Moonsun. The best smuggler in the galaxy.
Coming Late Summer 2024...
Find the masterlist here.
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Holy shit. The Israeli whistleblower story CNN just broke is insane. I cannot believe what I’m reading
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‘can you explain this gap in your resume’ oh yeah that’s when i was sealed in the cursed cube
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Luminous Beings - Masterlist
Coming Late Summer 2024
Minors DNI - This fic is for 18+ Readers Only
Pairing: Eddie Munson/Fem!Reader or Eddie Munson/Fem!OC TBD
Summary: Eddie Moonsun learned early that if he wanted to be saved, he was going to have to do it himself. The galaxy, the force, fate...they promised nothing but the dirt beneath his feet, and he only ever dreamed of the sky.
Well, that was a lie. They also promised chaos, and chaos is exactly what he got one day, sitting in a cantina on Nar Shaddaa. Chaos in the form of a Star Tours stewardess who told him he was her only hope.
Themes/Warnings: Star Wars AU, Angst, Fluff, Romance, Smut, Action, Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcohol and Substance Use, Minor Canon Inaccuracies/Adaptation, Politics, Grief/Mourning, Implied Torture, Additional Tags in Individual Chapters.
Series Announcement/Intro
Series Playlist
Chapters:
Episode 1 - A Long Time Ago...
Episode 2 - Not the Smuggler You're Looking For
Episode 3 - I've Got a Bad Feeling About This
Episode 4 - Order 66
Episode 5 - When Ambush Come to Shove
Episode 6 - Hopeless
Episode 7 - Rebel A-Lie-ence
Episode 8 - Stranger Deception
Episode 9 - Inner Starlight
Additional Chapters may be added between now and the time of posting
Note:
This series will be set in the Star Wars Universe and contain plot and references to both Canon and Legends information from movies, television, video games, and extended universe books. With some heavy plot borrowing from Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. I will do my best to explain certain mechanics but you should have at least a general knowledge of Star Wars before diving in.
Tag List:
Please DM/Comment/Ask to be added to the tag list. You must have your age your blog. You can also follow the Luminous Beings ST AU tag.
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If this pops up while you’re scrolling, I wish you unconditional love and massive success.
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