Journo (I guess) 17/09/21

Slept late last night, sometime around 2. I regret that decision. My usual bed time is 1:30 latest, but if I stay awake past that, I know I won't wake up feeling fresh. I try my best to sleep before 1:30 because I had made a habit of doing that in the past couple of months, and in doing so, I managed to sleep 7 or 8 hours on a consistent basis. But these days, my consistency has broken down and I only get an average of 6 hours of sleep, plus an hour long stay in the bed, doing absolutely nothing. It's the feeling of doom and gloom whenever I wake up earlier than usual that makes me stay in bed for long. Sometimes, I don't feel any motivation to even go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, or do any physical workouts. I wish we didn't feel like this. I wish the world was fair on us. I wish we had the mental strength and heart to combat any difficulties with the snap of our fingers. I wish....

It's September 13th, 6:56 AM. I haven't been able to sleep the whole night. My throat has been bothering me. I kept switching sides on my bed the whole night in hope to fall asleep when I find a comfortable spot, but to no avail. I got frustrated with myself so I had to get up, open my window wider and get some of that morning oxygen into my lungs. Then I made myself some herbal tea, like some 60 year old man. The night before I managed to get over 8 hours of sleep and I felt great the following morning. I was looking forward to maintaining the consistency of my sleep schedule by trying to close my eyes by 1:30 at best. Last night was very harsh on me. I wouldn't wish bad sleep even to my worst enemy. I used to take it for granted when I was a kid, staying up late, watching football, and wanking off to free porn, skyping with other night owls, but as I grew older, I understood the value of a good night sleep. I wish to be able to sleep more comfortably and consistently in the coming days. I hope.

I hope.

I want to fuck her so bad. Make her my own. Share our souls and our fluids. Make her eyes light up with the most intense orgasm. Prompt a fountain out of her wet pussy. A guy can always dream.

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How exactly did you stop Thanos, the Mad Titan, from decimating half of the universe?

If only I was asked about my mental health as regularly as I do with my near and dear ones. I wouldn't have bottled up my emotions, so much so, that it's eating me alive. As a man, you are expected to not look or feel vulnerable, cry or even express any sad emotions. I am worried, one day, I'll end up just like my best pal from high school: hung from a ceiling because it got too tough to overcome this feeling. I have my family and a small circle of friends there back home. They would all want me back in one piece. It's a challenge to wake up every morning with hope when you've only got a glimmer of it, especially when you're thousands of miles away from home. But hope is what keeps us going in life. As Andy Dufresne would say, "Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies." No matter how small the hope may be, you have to cling on to it. Patience is a virtue, and whatnot. Hope.

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(by chrisbeetham)

Electric by Mitul Shah

(by lennart) | {Facebook}

Next you’re going to tell me Jason Momoa can’t breathe underwater!

I found myself staring at her, which was stupid since I’d seen her a billion times. Still, she seemed so much more mature. It was kind of intimidating. I mean, sure, she’d always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful.

Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian (via bookquotes007)

Don’t blame yourself for everything. Sometimes even trying your hardest isn’t enough to satisfy people. Some things just don’t…click.

Syrup in Dreams by Oliver Swinford (via oliverswinford)

Nothing can ever change that.

Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

Charles Bukowski, Post Office (via geheimzinnig)

Chelsea 4 - 0 Brentford