leftover ham from christmas save me. save me leftover ham from christmas. help leftover ham from christmas.

i want to watch fleabag again but not watch it like CONSUME IT like eat it

my brain is like one of those videos where they push a bunch of glass bottles down the stairs resulting in a mess of sauce, soda, and orbeez at the bottom

they need to make the truman show because i talk to myself so much and i’m so silly and goofy it’s really a shame nobody’s getting my thrilling commentary

said i wanted letterboxd but where i could review everything (i.e. pieces of litter on the street) and my coworker said “that’s just tumblr” okay and you didn’t have to SAY it

i like a man someone kill me

still thinking about this baby that ate part of the tag on his stuffed animal today. he’s living the life i want

would like to add that she is ALSO insane for writing “but you know i’d stand on the corner, embarrassed with a picket sign; if it meant i would see you when i die” girl plz help

phoebe bridgers is insane for writing “and if i could give you the moon; i would give you the moon— you are SICK and you’re MARRIED and you might be DYING” like what the fuck girl now i have to go through this

phoebe bridgers is insane for writing “and if i could give you the moon; i would give you the moon— you are SICK and you’re MARRIED and you might be DYING” like what the fuck girl now i have to go through this

do i love him or am i trauma-bonded to him

work is great because there are couples buying bears for each other and while im helping them im like aw this is so cute you guys are so cute together and also i am holding back tears

i don’t “flirt” with women at work. my gay-dar goes off and suddenly i have astronomical natural rizz that has been struck upon me like a bolt of lightning

it’s not enough to listen to long live. i need it permanently burned into my brain

meant to save this to my drafts but apparently the universe wanted it to be public. okay

there was this embroidery thread at joann’s that was green and pink and it was serving futch realness

there was this embroidery thread at joann’s that was green and pink and it was serving futch realness

want someone to be inside me but not in a sexual way in a more devious, malicious way

i need to have a fleabag experience with a priest it would cure my religious trauma