crazy how dave malloy read war and peace and was like 'yeah I know what this sounds like' and even crazier that he was fucking right

sorry i can't come in to work today. yeah sorry they killed me off last night. yeah i just wasn't relevant to the plot anymore. i should be in tomorrow but i'll let you know.

since i was a little girl i’ve wanted to look like a 40 year old kinda femme man

(problematic sitcom episode where a straight actor who is mistakenly under the impression that he needs to be gay to be cast in a gay movie role recruits his gay friend to teach him about stereotypes)

straight guy: I’m just having such a hard time remembering all this information about musicals, who’s sondheim again?

friend (trying to talk in a way that he understands): sondheim is the GOAT, man!

straight guy: oh fuck I thought the goat man was dr dillamond (suddenly gets really angry and starts hitting himself on the head) stupid stupid stupid stupid

we need more representation in media for people who are just dogshit at improvising snappy one liners. too many characters these days can come up with the smartest funniest thing to say in any given situation with zero rehearsal or hesitation and it's just not realistic. we need more guys who say shit like "yeah, well, um, how about you, uh, suck my dick?"

you can butch4butchify anything if you have the warrior's spirit

i love when sibling characters are fucked up from the same event but in opposite ways

glee is so awesome because they were like "let's make a singing show!" and then wrote an ensemble of characters who are all varying degrees of evil and possess varying degrees of musical talent (some of them not very much) and most of all every single one of them is wildly manipulative and loooooves cheating and also loves mind games. and they sing and dance on my tv for my entertainment. and they also bring in kurt's dad every so often to make sure i cry a little. it's such good tv.

I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself

i keep a little poison pill in my ring just in case im captured by the enemy but i cant dry swallow so i also wear a vial of a single sip of water

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

was about to make a silly post about how i'm lying on my bed, kicking my legs in the air, smiling like a teen girl in love, while reading about mealworm pathogens, but that post is cancelled because i found this gif instead

I love music by straight women that is moving and genius and profound but you can tell the guy shes talking about is literally not ensouled and shes fucking completely imagining 95% of what shes talking about. I love your beautiful mind angel

GLEE moments that had me screaming