Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.

Cyborg: I can interface with satellites that allow me to perceive and measure countless electric signals and waves flying through space and the atmosphere. I can listen to the sun, live. But sure, let’s all freak out because Beast Boy just figured out he can see shrimp colors.

Beast Boy: Cranky ‘cuz you can’t see shrimp colors, aren’t ya?

Can you imagine suing Boeing and coming home to find Boeing's faulty plane parts washed up in your backyard?

I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

newbie fic authors, shooting themselves in the foot: This fic is bad haha I suck at writing lol I am being mean to myself in the hopes that you will be nice to me but actually am dissuading anyone from even clicking on my fic because all I have done to advertise it is tell you why you shouldn't read it

me: I am King Big Dick of Fanfic Mountain and I have arrived in your fandom with the Express Intention of writing my Very Favorite Fics, which I will generously allow you to read. You're welcome.

The drake Kendrick beef trending on tumblr is like finding out an isolated village in the middle of Siberia with no internet or television access knows who Michael Jackson is

Growing up fat, you get made fun of for everything you do, even basic shit like eating and laughing and breathing are funny when you do it because youre fat! And its so hard to not carry that with you as you get older, like I’m still embarassed to eat or dance in front of people or smile in pictures and its ridiculous and I hate it and I wish I was treated with more humanity

this couldn’t be said any better

If you don't feel interested in romance, don't often have crushes, or dislike the idea of romance in general, I have news for you: Rare Sierra Nevada Red Fox Spotted In Southern Sierra Area For First Time In Nearly A Century

picture this, i give you a glass bottle and tell you to open it, but bottle openers are forbidden, how do you do it?

Intimacy is not just about sex. It's having heart-to-hearts, staying up all night talking, sharing childhood memories, thoughts, fears, dreams & hopes for the future. It's uncontrollable laughter, direct eye contact and feeling each other without touching - it's exchanging energy

Some computer related jobs will periodically send you emails posing as phishing scams and if you open it you automatically have to take a web safety training seminar and I just think they should do that for tumblr except with reading comprehension