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duchessdynamic · 34 minutes
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Black Sesame Milk
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duchessdynamic · 5 hours
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such a raw-ass pose. do you think they were asked to pose like this or they just did that
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duchessdynamic · 10 hours
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duchessdynamic · 15 hours
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Kitchen Nightmares is really just like
Owners: i don't know why my restaurant is failing. Chef Ramsey please help
Ramsey: hello i am Gordon Ramsay. How is the food
Owners: we have the best food
*food comes out*
Gordon: this is an alive rat
Owners: our customers love te alive rat. We have the best food. Every day they order the alive rat.
*dinner service*
Customer: oh my god this is an alive rat
Waitress: is everything okay?
Customer: no it's an alive rat
*food is sent back*
Owner: this has never happened before. Fuck you Gordon Ramsay you should just leave. People love the alive rat
*Gordon goes in the freezer*
Gordon: there are 25 molds unknown to science. The rats have set up a lab to study them. Blimey. Scientist rats. They've unionized.
*later*
Gordon: your food is bad
Owner: no!!!!!!!!
Gordon: yes
Owner: oh my god our food is bad
*remodel, menu change*
Owner: oh my god Gordon Ramsay you saved my life thank you so much
Gordon: promise never to serve alive rats again, yeah?
Owner: yes of course
*end of episode*
Gordon: ratatouille ammirite? *He walks away chuckling*
End card: the restaurant was shut down three months later because they went back to serving alive rats.
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duchessdynamic · 17 hours
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duchessdynamic · 23 hours
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love dungeon meshi senshi's character design bc when he has the helmet on he looks like a fucking pokemon
and then he takes the helmet off and hes just a guy with a face and forehead and everything
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to me he looks like this
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duchessdynamic · 24 hours
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Godzilla Minus One (2023) Directed by Takashi Yamazaki
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duchessdynamic · 1 day
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please let me introduce you to NeverHappy, my most beloved pokemon ever.
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i found her as a budew on someone else’s save file after buying a used copy of pokemon platinum. the name “NeverHappy” was a pretty obvious joke about how budew evolves from happiness, and since the previous owner was going to keep her in a box forever, never use her, and never evolve her, she would never be happy. this activated some feral response in my brain and i decided no. she WOULD be happy. i was still replaying through all my old gen 4 games at the time but i traded her off to my other gen 4 files for safekeeping until i could do stuff with her.
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oh trust me game. i would.
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so you might have thought my plans were to simply evolve her and beat the game with her, get her to level 100, maybe even EV train her - but i had much bigger plans. i was going to ribbon master her. the ribbon master challenge, or the process of “ribbon mastering” a pokemon, is getting every single ribbon possible on a pokemon from the game it was caught in to the most recent game it can be transferred to. if you weren’t aware, that’s a LOT of ribbons. there are 40 in gen 4 alone. i had a lot to do.
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(the above clean screenshot was taken by backing up my cartridge save and screenshotting a battle video in emulator. however, i did all of this on my actual DS! i don’t like playing on emulator. not as fun)
i had to beat every contest (normal-master rank in all 5 categories) and do a bunch of other random stuff but my favorite part of the process was defeating the battle tower… 6 times. the battle frontier contains the most challenging battles in gen 4 by far, as opponents have good stats and competitive movesets. there’s 6 battle tower ribbons in gen 4 - two for singles at different points in the win streak, one for doubles, one for multis /w NPCs, one for multis /w another player (i just played with myself on two dses), and one for ranking up in the wi-fi room, which is now accessible again due to fan servers restoring internet functionality for gens 4 and 5.
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NeverHappy was randomly caught in the wild and did not have a competitive nature or stats, so i figured that she would just be tagging along in the back while i took out all the win streaks with 2 good pokemon, but she ended up clutching out wins in times of dire need… multiple times. she even ended up being necessary in the wi-fi room to stall out prevalent hacked pokemon like no guard sheer cold machamp, which hits 1 hit KO moves every time, with a gimmicky and convoluted leech seed + substitute strategy.
i could go into all of my team members and the excessive lengths i went to get them all (don’t even get me started on my shiny competitive latias from pokemon emerald) but that’s a story for another day.
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by the end of gen 4 i was extremely emotionally attached and she was already becoming one of my favorite pokemon, now with 40 whole ribbons after days and weeks of effort.
i have ribbon mastered pokemon before, so all of my save files in gens 6, 7, and 8 were already set up to transfer neverhappy into and grab all of the ribbons. i had a lot more battling and little tasks ahead of me. it’s really cool how ribbon mastering forces you to interact with pretty much every feature of every pokemon game.
and so i transferred her! gen 5 doesn’t have any ribbons, so it was just an intermediary to transfer into gen 6. at this point, i had also acquired a shiny luxray from pokeradar chaining in platinum named Nightlight, and i was ribbon mastering them together, but once again, a story for another day.
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first into gen 6… getting the super training ribbon was really annoying but the battle maison was pretty easy. i had a team in multis with terrakion and a whimsicott with beat up that could 1 hit KO all of the boss battle’s legendaries in one hit LOL
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then gen 7… this one went by pretty quickly but i opted to get the best friends ribbon here instead of in XY or ORAS because it was really simple to get with rainbow pokebeans, since all you have to do is max out affection and it only takes a couple rainbow beans to do that in USUM.
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and gen 8! you can see nightlight to the left in this picture. by far the hardest part of gen 8 was getting the ribbon awarded for winning a battle in master rank in online VGC against other players. i definitely had to grind that one for a while.
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then, she even got an award in BDSP for being a pokemon originating from the original diamond/pearl/platinum games, which was really cool.
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oh, and since i had cloned neverhappy back in gen 4 with a glitch so that i would always have a copy of her in her origin games, i was able to take this neat picture! how the times have changed LMAO
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luckily she was even a part of PLA’s roster and i was able to take a picture with her there, too… which actually might end up being important since there’s an invisible flag somewhere in the game’s code that gets turned on when you take a picture with your pokemon in the photo studio, which could potentially become a ribbon in the future in another game.
so, trainer Platina from 2016, you were wrong! NeverHappy is in fact happy now and has done more than most people’s pokemon have seen in their entire lifetime. she is my most cherished pokemon and i love her more than i love myself. i think i would die for her
i abbreviated this story a lot because i didn’t want to make this post longer than it already was but i was randomly inspired to talk about this today since SV is coming out soon and there will be more ribbons to collect for any of my ribbon masters that can be transferred into SV, which got me thinking about her. my journey with ribbon mastering has taught me more about pokemon games than any normal person should ever know and if you were interested in any details i left out or how i accomplished certain ribbons (including battle frontier strategies) feel free to shoot me an ask! :D i love talking about pokemon at any time any day of the week.
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duchessdynamic · 1 day
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girls night
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duchessdynamic · 1 day
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Hide and squeak
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duchessdynamic · 2 days
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duchessdynamic · 2 days
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Percy (office cat) is working overtime tonight
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duchessdynamic · 2 days
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It is November of 1893. You have just killed a vampire. Exhausted and worn, you close your eyes and rest.
You wake up. It is May of 1893. You are on a train en route to Transylvania. Your diary says you have had queer dreams lately.
You try to believe it.
(An old woman puts a rosary in your hands. You accept it without question.)
You are a guest in a castle you have never been in before (you recognize every hallway and know without trying that every door is locked). Your host is a man you have never met before (you killed him you killed him you killed him he had turned to dust and there was blood on the snow).
One morning you cut yourself while shaving.
There is nobody behind you in the pocket mirror’s reflection.
You turn fast, and the razor is like a Kukri knife in your hand.
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duchessdynamic · 2 days
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I found out my phone can make pngs and im going to throw up laughing at this one of my bf's cat
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duchessdynamic · 2 days
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[posted from automated shitpost generator]
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duchessdynamic · 3 days
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people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??
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duchessdynamic · 3 days
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Sometimes I feel I've got to
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Run away
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