Malcom in the Middle Ages

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the small, uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét (b. 22 July 1898)

my requirements for sleeping at night: is the pillow cool enough? are my legs positioned so they don’t put too much weight on each other? are my arms tucked in nicely and not at odd angles? can I stop thinking about the day’s events? is enough of my body out from under the blanket that I won’t overheat? are my toes safely tucked in to hide them from monsters?

my requirements for sleeping in the morning: is the surface vaguely horizontal and not made entirely out of hornets

Sorry we can’t cbt our way out of the fact that the earth is becoming observably less habitable with each passing year

im going to fucking die

by 00f100

Now this is a big boi

(via)

Honestly The Gentlemen Bastards sequence

Is kinda like if spongebob and Patrick were conmen.

me barging into every tv studio's headquarters by diving through their windows: LOCKE LAMORA ADAPTATION LOCKE LAMORA ADAPTATION LOCKE

A (very) short musing about Locke Lamora and Kaz Brekker

The thing I find really interesting about the character Locke Lamora from the Gentleman Bastards series is how incompetent he actually is. Don’t get me wrong, Locke is a good schemer and he knows his way around a scam, but his real skill lies in acting. Locke is rarely competent at anything, but he’s really good at pretending he is. Most of the time Locke is entirely reliant on other characters to rescue him once things go wrong. This is especially obvious in nearly every fight scene in the books. When Locke wins a fight it’s generally either because he got lucky or because Jean showed up to save him. He’s also incredibly arrogant. He gets overconfident and bites off more than he can chew. He doesn’t back off when he’s in over his head. Characters literally die because of this, but he never quite learns.

Compare this to Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows. Kaz is another schemer character who leads a gang (he also happens to be at least a decade younger than Locke, but we’re not discussing that). Kaz encourages the demon mythos that has built up around him because people being afraid of him makes his job easier. Unlike Locke, I do not think Kaz is arrogant. In fact, I’d argue that Kaz has a very realistic understanding of what he’s capable of and that he rarely if ever does something that’s over his head. Kaz simply does not allow himself to get into situations he can’t handle. He can be outsmarted, but it’s not easy, and he’s never completely outmatched.

I find the comparison between hyper-competent Kaz and Locke who is, quite honestly, a little bumbling, very interesting. On the surface, these characters are very similar (they are the same type of characters and perform very similar roles in the story), but the way they are handled is very different. Incidentally, while neither character is traditionally heroic, Kaz reads as far more of an anti-hero than Locke does, probably because of these differences in characterization.

While I ultimately like Kaz’s version of scheming mastermind better, I find the ways that Locke’s unique characterization influences the narrative fascinating and worth analyzing.

“I have always found the presumptions of others to be the best possible disguise”

- Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“Locke is like a brother to us, and our love for him has no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are ‘Locke would appreciate it.’” “Rivaled only by 'Locke taught me a new trick’"Added Galdo. "The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games–” “–is Locke Lamora–” “–because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons–” “–and fifty thousand cheering spectators.”

The Lies of Locke Lamora, Chapter One (via hatterandahare)

Has this been done yet ?

im supposed to be writing college essays and i made these gentlemen bastards memes instead enjoy

Locke Lamora: just leave me here to DIE jean

Jean Tannen:

that’s it. that’s the entire series.

[   A z a   G u i l l a   ]      Also know as the Lady of the Long Silence and the Lady Most Kind, is one of The Twelve, the gods of the Therin people. She is the goddess of death, depicted as wearing a veil. She embraces the dead, cares for them and is said to weigh the souls of the departed once they’ve gone on to the other side.