07.03.18

I don’t know what to say anymore. I am just so tired. I stared at my screen for ten whole minutes trying to think of where to start. Jose’s gone. So much has been happening and I think I’m reaching breaking point soon. I have now been to two funerals in the span of thirteen days. I don’t know what to think. I didn’t react horribly when I found out about Jose. I heard say those words over the telephone and suddenly there was silence everywhere. I had had this intense dread in me this entire week that something terrible was about to happen and then it did. I rushed to the crime scene immediately. The silence slowly faded away and was replaced by chaos of angry voices. I was so angry, I still am. At the killer for targetting Jose and at myself too. I should have been better, I should have accompanied Jose home as I had been doing throughout these past days, I should have called him when I reached home or at least had Yusuf walk him home. I did none of that and now Jose is dead. On paper, Jose and I never knew each other that deeply but the truth is, besides my grandfather and of course, Yusuf, Jose was my best friend. He literally watched me grow up. I had always given me anything I needed, laughter when I craved it and silence when I needed it. The library was my home and now that Jose isn't there anymore, I have this gnawing sense of homelessness eating at my insides. Where do I go now? I could see how much Jose had been suffering in his last days here. I wish I could have understood it or better, taken it away. 

I decided immediately that Jose’s autopsy had to be the fastest yet the most thorough one that I had ever done. Something inside me broke and crumbled away working on the body so closely and seeing his lifeless face so closely. Dead bodies and injuries never bothered me before, I had always been able to separate myself from it and be in a clinical mindset. Yet I couldn’t do it with Jose. Every close inspection of the violence that had occurred on his body had me walk away and burst into tears. I didn’t want to look at Jose like that, or anyone I love for that matter. I couldn’t objectify and dehumanise the body as I needed to. As I went over the cuts on Jose’s torso I could feel how the killer must have made them, slow and controlled with a knife that bore the same kind of paper-thin sharpness and precision that my own scalpel bears. It was haunting, to say the least. After hours and hours of mentally, physically and emotionally draining work, I had an autopsy ready to submit to Erin. The time of death could be approximated between 11:30 pm to 02:00 am. The stab wounds on Jose’s body were identical to the wounds on all the previous murders, the stab wound at the heart, the slash across the abdominal head, the cut on the back of the knee—it was all there. The only difference here was that Jose’s tongue had been cut off. All of these things I put in the autopsy but there is something else too. I have a feeling that there are two people behind this. It’s something about the ghost of the movement that can be picked up from the stab wounds and the ghost of the movement that can be picked up from the slicing of Jose's tongue. It’s almost as if…both of those things were done by different hands. There is no real technical or tangible tell for this, it’s mostly based on the feel I’ve got so I couldn’t add this to the autopsy but it's something I can’t ignore. 

I spent the next day, that is yesterday, planning Jose’s funeral. I went about town booking things and ordering things and I kept getting sympathetic looks from the townsfolk. I could also see that the town is electric with panic. There is distrust in the air and the streets are empty all day. 

Jose’s funeral happened today. Apparently, Antonio and he had already booked spots for themselves beside each other long back. Out of the hundred or so people living in this town, other than me only Klaudia, Erin, June, Yusuf, Mocair, Harry and Sariah turned up to the funeral. I was shocked and I felt so bitter but I tried to reason it away. Everyone was too scared to come. Everyone stood away from Mocair during the funeral. It was clear what was going on in everyone’s mind, what was going on in my mind too. Something was very wrong with Mocair, and given yesterday’s events, it puts him in a terrible spot. The funeral was a quick one and everyone left as soon as it was over. Yusuf stayed. He looked at me with those big brown eyes of his and asked me if I was fine but I had nothing to say. I leaned in for a hug but he only gave me a pat on my back. I could see something guarded in his eyes and I pulled away too. He left soon enough too, after standing with me silently for a while. I watched as Jose and Antonio, the two best friends, men who knew what it was to really love and the best of us, lay beside each other in their fresh graves and I prayed, for the first time in my life, that they both had found peace and happiness wherever they were. 

I am home now, writing this. I feel so lonely. Grandpa’s house is empty and it almost feels too big around me. I surprise myself as I think of the island and maybe going back after many months. There is no one I can talk to. Jose’s gone and Yusuf is all…weird these days. Maybe I’ll talk to Klaudia. I don’t know. All I do know is that Jose had found out something about the murders in the mania that had engulfed him in the last few days of his life which troubled him immensely. All he wanted to do was to solve this, to make all of this right. And that is exactly what I am going to do. 

23.02.18

Antonio's funeral was quite an affair. Even while it was happening it felt as if most of the townsfolk still felt as if he was going to show up and that everything was going to be alright. Everyone was at the funeral. Erin, Klaudia (who looked devasted by the way), José, Yusuf and even Sariah. Harry wasn't there, of course, the arrogance he has knows no bounds. I didn't know it was possible for me to hate him more than I already did, but here we are. June and Mocair also showed up, funnily enough June never left Klaudia's side through the entire ordeal. I always thought that the two had a bit of a torrid relationship but I guess time heals everything. Looking back, of course, Akira wasn't there too. Something that I realized only after the ceremony was done and dusted.

I decided then to go check on her, it was unlike her to miss out on something as big as this. I had hoped that Yusuf would come with me but he felt a bit sick so I dropped him home. He's been looking a bit pale since a couple of days. I wonder what's up with him. José's taking Antonio's death badly too. He's been bawling his eyes out when people aren't looking and sometimes even when they are and it absolutely breaks me to see him like this. He's always been a friendly face and seeing his smile disappear like this kills me every time I see him. Klaudia's the same too. Though she might not show it as openly as José, it's clear that she's hard-pressed about it as well. Though she didn't smile a whole lot before as well so the difference isn't as jarring I suppose.

While we were leaving I overheard Klaudia having a private moment with Erin. She spoke about solving the case and finishing what Antonio had begun. The look that she had in her eyes, I do not doubt her one bit. And with Erin by her side, it's exactly what the town needs.

My visit to Akira's house was quite insightful too. She refused to open the door for quite some time and just as I was about to leave I heard to door open behind me and Akira stood there with a baseball bat in her hands. Honestly, she looked quite shaken and for some reason, she insisted that I speak to her from the front porch itself even though it was pouring rain. When I told her that I'd simply come to check on her she paused for a second and burst out crying and finally invited me in. Even after we were inside though she did not let go of the bat and was wary of me and every little shadow that flickered on the wall. I found it odd at first but when she told me why she had suddenly turned into a shut-in, a chill went down my spine.

It turns out that the night of George's murder, not too after the time of George's death Akira was making her way home and happened to pass by the same street near which George's dead body was found and happened to see a figure coming toward her from that direction. Even though she dismissed it as just another one of the townsfolk then, she realized later on when the body was found that it was most likely the murderer. And ever since then, she has been afraid that the killer might come after her since it could very well be the case that she was spotted as well. No wonder Akira hadn't stepped out of the house in so long and was carrying around a bat in self-defence. I think I would do the same if I were her. I consoled her a bit and told her I'll be back with some fresh groceries for her which she was thankful for. However, she insisted that I leave them on the front porch itself. I suppose she didn't trust me fully yet and who could blame her? Anyways after that, I quickly made my way back home, didn't want to be outside anymore in this gloomy weather. I'm sorry if I haven't been my usual enthusiastic self it's been a tough few days and with Antonio gone and José sad, there's very little cheer around.

17.02.2018

My life just keeps getting more and more eventful and I don't know how to feel about that. NOT ONLY WAS THERE ONE MORE MURDER BUT WE ALSO HAD ANTONIO'S BIRTHDAY PARTY! THE BODY WAS JUST- wait, I should do this chronologically for the sake of my own sanity. June was kind enough to host a party to celebrate Antonio's birthday, (of course that means it was Erin's too but I don't think Erin really cared, but ALSO-nevermind, again, I'll get to it when I get to it. UGH so many things to tell you!) I wore this satin backless bodycon dress that Yusuf bought for me quite a while ago. It made me a bit uncomfortable because I guess I'm just not used to it- but god, it was worth it when I saw the look on Yusuf's face. He showed up at around 7:00 pm at my place- we were supposed to go together and reach by 7:30- but I guess Yusuf had other plans. We ended up opening a bottle of wine and spending some time just by ourselves. By the time I realized we had a party to be at it was already 8:30 and we (I) were half a bottle down. I had to remind Yusuf how rude it would be if we didn't show up because he was a bit reluctant. I guess he isn't a party person and I don't think I am either AFTER THIS PARTY. By the time we'd reached, Akira and Harry were already there. God I hate Harry. June came and spoke a few words once we'd settled in, she's such a sweet person! But I like Klaudia better, of course. Mocair and George were running across the bar carrying drinks and aperitifs. For someone who's as old as Mocair, he's quite agile. I thought I wouldn't drink considering I'd already had some but suddenly there was a glass of beer in my hand and José and Akeno were shouting chug. Thank god for Yusuf, he stuck by me all through the night. I think the only time I was out of his sight was during the FIGHT. All I remember is Harry making a stupid stupid joke about me being not smart enough like the actual middle school bully that he is and the next thing I know I had thrown my drink at him.

And then Erin immediately picked me up like I weighed NOTHING and separated the two of us. I sat back down and waited for the world to stop spinning as Erin sat by my side. Yusuf also showed up a few minutes later. Erin immediately threw a pointed stare and him and made a curt comment about him not having control on the number of drinks he was handling, which made Yusuf put down both the pints he had in his hand. I know Erin doesn't like him but I guess Erin doesn't like most people.

Once I felt a bit more like, well myself, Yusuf and I left. AND THEN THE MURDER HAPPENED. Guess who discovered the body? Harry Mathews, of course. When Antonio brought in the body I almost gasped. It was mutilated. There is no other way to put it. She was practically sliced in half, yet everything was so methodical. There was no passion about the crime but somehow there was care. Again there was the suspicious scar. Just like the others. I don't know what to make of it. Antonio seemed quite grim today too, he hasn't taken a single day for himself ever since the first murder. Yesterday was supposed to be his day off and yet…. I guess it is hard being him. Speaking of Antonio, I dropped by Erin's place to thank her for yesterday. Honestly I'm a bit scared of her, so I was glad to see that Antonio was also there when I went. The two of them were holding hands, I couldn't believe my eyes!! ERIN HOLDING ANYONE'S HANDS? She even offered me some biscuits and tea, and I ended up spending quite some time there. She's a whole new person with Antonio around. It's almost as if he softens her edge a little but again that is just me. Her and Antonio were just as competitive as usual though. I guess somethings never change. The two of them also exchanged gifts. Antonio had brought Erin a carburetor to add to the car Erin was building (how cool is that???). He'd got it delivered from the mainland more than a month ago. Erin was a bit embarrassed of the gift that she'd gotten him which was a new big green hat. The one Antonio always wore was slowly falling apart. I guess she felt that her gift wasn't good enough but as soon as Antonio opened him his eyes grew wide and he smothered Erin with a hug. He kept saying that he'd been thinking of getting this hat for days now, and that Erin could read his mind. Watching them be so...normal, I guess, felt good, because all I have been seeing and hearing for some time now is death, grief and pain. I'm learning to cherish these little pockets of happiness that we find. Afterall, if there is one thing that we Eadochans know best, it is to make the most of the sunshine because the storms are never too far away.

12.02.2018

Remember what I said yesterday about overhearing Antonio and Jose being worried about this being a repeat of sometingg

Remember the time I overheard Antonio and Jose talking about something happening in the past? WELL GUESS WHAT!? There I was whiling away my day in the library, reading Junji Ito's Uzumaki, when it suddenly hit me. THE CRIMINAL RECORDS! If there was anything to be found out about the past it would be there! So off I went to the record room, but I couldn't find José anywhere. Weird. He's usually always here during day time. Anyways, though I couldn't look at the files themselves I decided to check the boxes regardless, they're transparent glass boxes which are padlocked you see. I was honestly expecting to see nothing special HOWEVER when I got to the year 1998, there were FILES upon FILES. My hands ITCHED to open that box and read through the murder files but I couldn't. I guess this was what Antonio and José were talking about. Just as I turned to leave a cat almost gave me a heart attack by jumping down from one of the shelves. It was a pretty little thing, black with green eyes. I gave it chase, but it quickly turned the corner. By the time I caught up to it, it was already in the arms of Klaudia who smiled at me. The two looked like they were made for each other. I like Klaudia. We have only hung out properly a couple of times but I truly do believe that we are only going to get closer. It is nice to have a friend when everything else around seems to be so tense. Klaudia and I chatted a bit after that and then she had to leave. I shall update you guys soon if (and hopefully when) I get to read through the files!

11.02.2018

If you thought things were crazy the last time I wrote, wait till you read what happened today. There was…another. Dead. Body. Alright wait, let me rewind a little and start from the beginning. It has been a whirlwind of a week, what with the ferryman’s murder and Harry Mathews attempting to ruin my reputation as a mortician more than it already is. He even had the nerve to show up at my door to ‘know my opinions’ as if he wasn’t going to twist everything that came out of my mouth. Best believe the only reply that I gave him was a slammed door in his face. The meeting to discuss the autopsy report was also a trainwreck (surprise, surprise) and in the end the townsfolk were STILL undecided about who they believed, though they did note that the ‘scuffle wounds’ (UGH) were definitely suspicious given their placement. I have decided to maintain mental peace and accept this, beggars can’t be choosers. The next couple of days were devoid of any action other than Antonio and his search party heading out across the island to see if they could find any clues. They found nothing for two days but then today happened. This is where things get interesting. After looking ALL over the island, Antonio and the party were able to find nothing connected to the murder but the day they decided to look through the Kabot woods, voila, there is ANOTHER dead body. This time it was J. Yonah. Jamieson, the photographer. I didn’t know him much but I do remember going to his studio with Grandpa when I was younger. I didn’t care much for him but that was mainly because I never really interacted with him. Anyway, back to the topic. It was Jose who found the body, apparently. He and Antonio rushed with the body to the morgue at around 06:30 pm today, looking very, very worried. I liked this body better than the earlier one because this one gave me more scope to test out my knowledge given that it was already decaying and had definitely been dead for a few days now. From the blunt force trauma to his head and various other injuries all over his body (including that weird incision behind his knee which I can’t make sense of) I could make out that his death had been a very violent one. All this already is very interesting, I know, but then something else happened and that has been bugging my brain ever since. As I was wrapping up my examination of the body and putting it into the mortuary cabinet, I heard Jose and Antonio talking outside where they were waiting for me to get done. They both sounded so anxious. From what I could gather, they both were worried that this was a repeat of something. Now, this is intriguing because , knowing the details of the current murders, I, too, did think of the series of murders that had happened on the island back when I was a kid, but I genuinely thought that the small similarities had been a coincidence. Antonio and Jose also perhaps considering this makes things a lot more...let’s just say, confusing. I think I’m going to ask Yusuf about all of this when I meet him (which is right now, so I really must get going), he always has something useful to add. So yeah, that's that. I shall talk more about this when I have more intel.

05.02.2018

I AM SO ANNOYED! I AM SO SO ANNOYED. TODAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY.. never mind. Let me start at the beginning. Its just UGH. So I had just woken up and made myself a nice morning brew. When I saw Harry's update. I was so excited that I almost dropped my coffee. I mean its sad that there was a murder but it was my first real job!! How could I not be excited? I was waiting for Antonio to show up so much that he almost fell into my house because I opened the door as he was about to knock. Antonio is such a sweetheart, bless him, he thought I'd faint when I saw the body, he'd even brought me a bit of that rum him and José have for some liquid courage. Gosh was he surprised when I gave no reaction! Anyways I had no time to make a proper autopsy report because of the meeting he'd scheduled. I quickly dressed up and got to the restaurant. Yusuf was already there and motioned me over, he asked me about the body, I could barely contain my excitement as I told him about it. Almost everyone was there. June was sitting with the other women calming everyone down, she looked beautiful even while grieving. Jose also went over to help her. Akira and George were giggling about something together as usual. Mocair was hovering about. I can't seem to place him even though I'm at his bar practically every weekend. I could HEAR Erin and akeno enter from the kitchen, by that of course I mean I could hear Erin. She grumbles like one of those cars that she repairs. Akeno's cute though, he was eating a bright blue popsicle, and somehow managed to look like a child at whatever age he is, I don't know fifty?

Klaudia was there too, she came in late and for once seemed excited and interested in the meeting as well? She's not half bad I suppose. What surprised me was Sariah being there, I did not expect that. Yusuf looked a bit surprised about it too. I guess I'm not the only one with an interest in the macabre. ANYWAYS right after I had my big moment and gave my first ever opinion on a body, HARRY MATTHEWS HAD TO PIPE IN AND RUIN EVERYTHING.  What does he know about the body? Sure he discovered but does he have a degree in forensics? I THINK NOT. The scars will not part of a scuffle and were DELIBERATE. I am ready to die on that hill. And I was going to press my point but Yusuf asked me not to. He said though he trusted me completely he didnt want there to be a fight between the townsfolk at such a trying time. He's so thoughtful. Of course this meant that I had to suck it up as the townspeople murmured among themselves about my NON EXISTENT INCOMPETENCE but who cares. I know I'm right and nothing Harry says will change that. I don't know why he's lying. Perhaps... No he doesn't seem the type. Regardless Antonio thinks its a drifter, and Antonio is almost always right about things like this. All I'm saying is if there's a murder hungry drifter in town, I hope he knows where the press is.

06.02.2018

Anyway. Yusuf came over to the morgue in the afternoon because he wanted to see me do my first proper murder autopsy. I was so excited because this is my first legitimate unnatural death autopsy and I knew Yusuf was excited too. He even said that I looked really professional and cool in my scrubs. He’s always so nice. It is a pity that his spirits did not last till the end of the autopsy. He went really quiet when I removed the white sheet from the body. I hadn’t expected him to be affected by gore but he was. I showed him the stab wounds on the victim- the one’s at his heart and the others that Harry had announced were ‘accidental’. I pointed out the horizontal slash across his abdominal head and one at the back of his knee. This puzzled me to no extent. It was clear to me that the precision with which the cuts were made meant that this had to be deliberate, by why in those exact spots is still a mystery to me. Yusuf seemed really taken aback by the body. I was surprised because I didn’t expect him to be someone who can’t handle some bloody visuals. Yusuf was clearly a bit uncomfortable because of the body so we left soon after. The autopsy report is ready but I’ll give it to Antonio tomorrow. Yusuf and I went to the pub after the autopsy. Things happened there but I am too tired to elaborate on them as of now.