dreamondr3amer
{celestial~being}
jayde, 21 ~ be the light
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one of the best feelings is when you listen to a song and it just takes you back to a time and place, a moment you can always relive the feeling of again only from a song
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sometimes i wish I could just be alone
away from everyone on my own island with no one around just animals and food and a shit ton of alcohol and pot and just myself
I wish I could just be free and happy but most day I feel like that will never happen
I feel like I’m trapped and there’s no way of me ever escaping or getting anywhere better
I just wish that someone out there actually saw or could understand the pain I feel everyday I’m just full of sadness and I don’t know how to ever make it go away
I mess everything up and I don’t know how to stop destructing everything around me I just want to be alone
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feeling like I want to runaway but I have no where to run too
I feel trapped here like I have to force myself to act like everything’s okay but im not okay
All I want to do is lay in bed and watch the days go by, im so cold and far gone I can’t even cry
Waiting for the day when I can free myself again though things will never be the same
I need to do things for her and for myself Im perfectly aware of all the energy around me
It’s hard to carry the weight of things I try to let go that’s what im here for but some things I just don’t know how to release
I try to act like they don’t affect me none of it matters but in my heart i feel sad I feel cold I feel alone
I miss the flame that would warm me inside but it’s been out of sight for a while now
I need to be my own light it’s time for me to change I will be my own flame I will create my own light
I don’t want to let you go but I feel like it’s best for us both
You will keep on hurting me like I hurt you and it’s not fair
I knew this would happen I just didn’t want to listen I didn’t want to believe you would do anything to hurt me
But I’m sensitive and I feel things too deep
I see things in my dreams they don’t lie to me
I can’t ever fully sleep it’s like my mind just goes somewhere else and I start to see things people wouldn’t believe
It scares me sometimes it feels so real and sometimes it points me in the direction of truth
I should take more from these dreams than I do right now I should probably write them down
I feel like I’m going crazy but everyone’s crazy right ?
I just want to write forever spill my heart out because I honestly keep so much inside
People tell me to open up to them but my mind and body only do what feels right I can’t control it
I just want things to get better and I know they will in time, for now I’m just wondering how did I get here truly
I mean I know I lead myself here but I just made a few bad choices on the way
But if what they say is true everything happens for a reason
It will all lead me to where I belong with who I belong
I feel so much emotion in me at this time I just want to cry but my eyes remain dry.
I feel so heavy inside
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He who looks at the essence will never be as wrong as he who looks at appearances. Illustration by Alexandra Timoshina (tinyselena).
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“I have spent all my life resisting the desire to end it.”
— Franz Kafka
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