Escape Artist Featuring Quiver and Robber Guy

I've been answering spammers and unknown callers with "Denver City Morgue, this is [my name] speaking, how may I direct your call?" For months now. So much so that I've mostly stopped getting those calls as often anymore.

Today I just received a call from Google businesses, saying that they'd like to update their information on my business with a location and my phone number. I'm tempted to accept but I don't need to explain to people genuinely trying to find and/or bury their loved ones that they have the wrong number.

maybe monsterfucker erotica doesn't need a plot but it certainly gives the whole thing a bit more substance

Just some Lilith thoughts:

I do not believe for one second that Lilith is as cool and composed and effortlessly poised as some of the fandom make her out to be. Now this is just personal opinion (and I know we don't actually know much about her) Look at the man she married. Look at the child she raised. I don't think she'd be quite as CHEERY/overly optimistic as Charlie or as goofy as Lucifer. But there is no way that woman is 100% serious all of the time. She's gotta have a sense of humour. I want her to seem as graceful/regal as she appears... and I also want her to be kind of a dork. She gets flustered too, she makes faces, maybe she snorts when she laughs, maybe she makes really really bad jokes... I just like the idea that all of the Morningstars are a lil' silly in their own way. Look at them.🥺

Reblog if

It’s 104% okay to come to your DM and just say, “Hi, can we be friends?” And then start asking you random questions.

i'll never understand why some people have a problem with trigger warnings. if the content being warned for doesn't bother you then you can just use it as a recommendation. literally where is the problem. everyone wins.

For those who don't remember, here's the lawsuit two years ago where Tumblr (or specifically Automattic) settled with the New York City Commission on Human Rights regarding Tumblr's terribly implemented porn ban targeting LGBTQ folk more than it should. Here's an excerpt detailing what the NYCCHR ordered Tumblr to do:

The settlement gives Tumblr 180 days to hire an expert on sexual orientation and gender identity (SOGI) issues and provide related training to moderators. It must also hire someone with experience in this area as well as expertise in image classification, who will review Tumblr’s moderation algorithms to see if they’re more likely to flag LGBTQ content. As part of an overall review, Tumblr will reexamine 3,000 old cases where a user successfully appealed a takedown, looking for patterns that could indicate bias.

Now, on a totally unrelated note, here's the complaint page for reporting discrimination to the NYCCHR. Completely unrelated to what's going on right now or the rest of this post, I swear.

Look, I see your reasoning. But for very obvious reasons I gotta go with the dragon.

Welcome to Round 4, the top 32 contenders! Only the best remain! With a fair few surprise hits that have beaten out some of the original top contenders.

On the left, the highest ranked in the qualifying rounds, the Red Dragon! It's the biggest chromatic dragon, so adults are roughly in the 30-90 foot (9.1-27.4 m) range. The spellcasters among them lean toward spells like "dominate person," as basically everything in thier culture is about domination and power play. They're prideful, powerful, the epitome of dragon kind to most, the classic fire breathing dragon!

BUT ON THE RIGHT! Having already slain a dragon and taken out a member of the top 32, we have the androsphinx! 10 ft (3 m) long, gruff and somewhat pessimistic with a noble heart, can control time from within its lair, guards ancient mysteries and secrets, and can summon feasts on command! They're also known for being gruff and blunt but generally trying to do the right thing.

I don't normally make "political" art like this, but after recent events I felt I had to say something

civic and moral duty to save and repost this image <3

i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

Sorry for bothering you though the window, Archivist.

I wish to thank you, for assisting me when I was too small and had only a needle for aid. Now however, I've grown too much and find the halls too small to wander, I cannot even fit through the shrinking door. Hence why I speak to you through the window.

I'll be on a quest to find a way to return to my natural size... Maybe just a little bit taller than I was if I can manage it.

I return to you the replica of Indigo Montoya's sword, now the size of a claymore, though too small for me to wield still. It only needs to work if someone misses you instead of needing a dead parent, though it's accuracy at helping you find what you need is much diminished, it is still a good guide of leading you to the general vicinity of where you should be.

Lastly, I have for you, an ebony sewing box I found. It will be useful for stowing away your sewing supplies but also, any scrap material thrown into it will be seamlessly frankensteined together in a random combination. Sometimes in stunning ways or horrendous patterns, it depends upon how well the colors and fabrics blend. However, I warn against blending too many enchanted textiles. I found that magics don't like to mix and the results can be unpredictable.

I will take it, and hope I can pass it on to someone else it will serve half so well! Let me offer you something useful in return: a ring, a simple gold band inset with malachite, which belonged to one lost and longs to be found. If you find yourself far afield (as I suspect you might, with that very broad stride of yours), it pulls like a lodestone homewards.

Made a new poster! :)

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

Nobody tell him.