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dottorhara-blog · 6 years

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24 Reasons the public rejects Acupuncture and responses to the nay-nays.

1. "The fear of germs"

Look, acupuncture helps you blast the more spiritual germs, of mental and emotional patterns you've stored throughout your body. FUCK YOU!!! Do you feel that gross feeling inside of you? That may now be stored inside of your body, it may have just settled into your left trapezius muscle, and you will feel discomfort until you either go work out in the gym, get a massage, meditate, or get acupuncture. That energy, unless you figure out a way of letting it go, will store itself in your body and/or it may just bounce around the walls of your mind indefinitely. But what a shame that would be, how uncomfortable! Acupuncture helps rid you of these energetic layers of germs as well. Think of the Qi blasting these mental patterns and germic structures out of your fibers totally.

2. "It will go away"

Listen, sure this pain you are feeling will go away, but when? That pain in your back, which you've started feeling after lifting those boxes, can literally vanish through some muscle releases, within a few sessions, but if you wait it may vanish as well, but maybe in a few months, but you also run the risk of that pain developing into something way more serious.

3. "Parts in Parts"

You'd prefer to see a specialist, well that's what we are, we specialize in seeing the overview and connecting the different systems together, your digestive issue is a digestive issue, don't worry it may not necessarily be connected to any other part, but I know that I can help alleviate your symptoms.

4. "Mind/body disconnect"

Let's do an exercise - SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! - notice how you feel right now? That emotion that you are feeling, notice how it's affecting your muscles in your neck, your lower back, your diaphragm? Did you notice your breathing shift at all? So there, you've just experienced the mind-body connection for yourself. And so imagine how this one jarring experience just now has affected your system, and now begin to reflect on how your body must feel after so many years of so many experiences, maybe worse than this one, and maybe better and try to imagine how the mind and body could possibly be connected.

5. "Don’t want health"

Hey, you don't want health, that's totally ok, but I know you don't want that pain you're feeling, and that's great, I can help you with that now, and then we can work on a few ideas so that you can try to remain pain free too for a longer while.

6. "Health recovery as an event"

Look, you've come to this point, in needing to recover based on a whole series of trauma you've caused your body, and that's totally fine, but now you have these issues, and so let's handle them. And yes, handle them, it may take a while to clear you out, but once we do, you'll be cruising, and won't have any more trouble. And feel free to take the Advil, but you know, just as much as I do because I've done it, that just as soon as that pain in your back went away it reappeared. But if instead we work on releasing those muscles directly, and relaxing them, then you will not have to take any Advil, at all.

7. "Health is how you feel"

You only go to the doctor when you have a necessary pain? Ideally you will only have such pain with an acute injury, but in order to ensure this, come to acupuncture - it’s a preventative approach to all of your health issues. Sure we can help your symptoms, but once those are gone and you are in good health, if you continue getting acupuncture treatments periodically as a maintenance, you will remain in optimal health.

8. "The business of healthcare"

Obviously germs are real, I use sterile needles, I clean my tables, the only reason I do acupuncture and not western medicine is because this has worked for me tremendously, and I don't like the hangover I feel from the meds. And plus, you're here investigating, are you curious? Something inside is clearly telling you to take a chance with this alternative approach to your health, you should listen.

9. "The costs of acupuncture"

It's expensive sure, but how much are you spending on drinks over the weekend or on your cocaine or pot, just to feel good and ok enough to socialize? And sure ok, maybe the pain meds are much cheaper, but once you're out of them, you're screwed, you're back in pain, and now what will you do? Spend some money now on the acupuncture, get the problem solved instead of putting bandaids on your symptoms and you'll be fine. You spend this money on your acupuncture instead, and you will feel so much better about yourself, you will stop spending all that money on the useless amazon products you buy each week, you'll lose the hoarding too, promise.

10. "Convenience factor."

Sure it may be convenient, but is it really? That doctor of yours may have you go take an MRI, now you have to book that, now you have to write 4 emails to your boss to see if you can skip work on Thursday, to reschedule your other meeting right after with your other colleague about the other report, and then the day comes, and the office is totally delayed because they keep taking emergency victims before you and you have to figure out a solution to your daughter waiting for you to be picked up at her pre-k classroom, how convenient is that? Also, let's say best case scenario none of those things happen, the visit to that doctor is not very personable, at all, the hospitals are hideous, the decor is terrible - do you really want to be subjected to such aesthetic atrocity, and know that those philistines are keeping all of your money?

11. "I hate Doctors."

Hey, look, I hate doctors, and even hate acupuncturists, so I know how you feel, but I know that what I can offer you works - and it is a way for your body to heal itself, and once we do a few sessions you won't have to come back to me ever and you can take care of yourself, but at least let me help you learn to ride the bicycle, and if you ever need a tune up or a refresher course you can come back.

12. "Live for today."

Live for today, that's totally great, and you should totally get acupuncture to help you party and live for today. That stomach ache from all the rich food your eating, let me take care of that so that at least you can keep going and not have to stop indefinitely. Keep living for today, and do it the smart way, with acupuncture.

13. "Technology will save me."

Technology may or may not save you, and I hope it will save you, I surely can't nor can your mother, and to be honest I can care less about saving you, but I can get into helping you feel better, and helping you find a place inside of yourself that will make you say oh hey, I feel pretty happy, I'm a good person, I don't feel pain anymore, that I would love to help you with, and then may the eventual robot revolution save you, and may robocop be your hero.

14. "Lack of MD Approval."

Listen, your MD does not want to approve me, because then he will lose business. I can care less for his business, and I would love for you to get the best standard of care, if it was a surgical procedure, go to your MD, they will do the best, but if it's some xxx, I can help you with that, you'll feel much better, and we can go from there. People at the top don't waste their time with the MDs unless it's something serious - look at Michael Phelps, greatest olympian, he could have any western doctor at his feet giving him treatment, and what he choose instead? acupuncture and cupping.

15. "I am a Victim."

You're a victim, ok, you can continue being a victim that's totally fine, but at least try to get your back pain resolved, don't assume any responsibility for your recovery, let your body heal itself, you just don't do anymore damage to it, stop doing that thing that led to this injury and come by to see me a few times and you'll be fine.

16. "Fear of being dependent."

Look, I can care less about you becoming dependent, I want you to feel good, and learn to be ok on your own, the moment I see you becoming dependent I'll reefer you out, ok? But you'll be fine, we can work on your need for being dependent too, and by then I'll be coming to see you for therapy, how about that?

17. "Acupuncturists aren’t real doctors."

Yea, no duh, I'm not a doctor, I've never wanted to be one, I can help you in ways they can't and will recommend you to see them directly when these circumstances arrive.

18. "Acupuncture hurts."

No no, I do a Japanese style that is very gentle, I pride myself in my non-painful needling, it's all I've focused on, so don't you worry at all, you'll be perfectly fine.

19. "Not for children."

Oh not a problem, I don't use real needles with kids, I use other Japanese non-needling tools to carry out the treatment.

20. "Peer Pressure."

Live a little, your best friend Becky cheats on her boyfriend every weekend, do you really care what she thinks?

21. "It’s a Cult/Scam."

A lot of acupuncturists are scammers, they don't take care of themselves, they don't walk the walk, I wouldn't send you to them. I know a few excellent people, you can also come see me, but I've navigated this new agey world and it is indeed full of idiots, but I'll recommend you some great people.

22. "Take off your clothes."

If you feel uncomfortable that is totally fine, we will work around this, please bring some shorts and a sleeveless tee shirt or tank top so that I can access your upper arm and knee areas.

23. "Fear of the Unknown."

You can be totally afraid of coming in for the first time, it would actually be kind of strange if you weren't afraid of coming to see someone who is about to stick you with needles and make you do deep breathing while surrounded by buddhist statues - you could easily fall into a Dr. Strange sort of scenario and that would be insane! Therefore, totally normal to feel this way; but I promise you will feel amazing afterwards should you give it a shot. Look, worst case scenario, you tell your friends a funny story about some magical man with a long white robe and scrunchy eyebrows - best case scenario, you found a new tool to help you navigate your life.

24. "Last Resort."

Sure, I mean, you can look at it as this last resort, but you could have spared yourself months of low self-esteem and headache had you come to see me directly much earlier. We could have helped you out before all of this other stuff showed up as well, but no worries, we'll work on all of these things too.

#acupuncture #cupping #orientalmedicine #china #japan #chinese medicine #funny #needles #pain #solutions #love #meditation #yoga #philosophy #energy #reiki #qi #shakti

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