Last Seen Blogs
georgiannazc-blog
Untitled
jivesjunkfood
þokkalega!!
bloom-louis
on a clear day i can see myself for miles
itsjordan-taylor-blog
Jordan Taylor
rieriedowns
RIE RIE-RA RAY RAY
Text
sunshiney characters who adore the mean grumpy character, platonically or romantically, but not DESPITE them being mean as if that isn’t who the other “really” is deep down. they love it. they think the other is the funniest cleverest most delightful person alive
52K notes
·
View notes
Text
Reminder that people aren't entitled to see into your decision-making process unless you've agreed that they are. Just told a business acquaintance that I'd "just finished up my previous commitment". It's not their problem to know that it was DND.
59K notes
·
View notes
Text
top tip for gms: if you dont want your players coming up with some stupid fuck name for their party just have an npc call them a collective nickname like youre gently offering food to a scared stray dog from a distance where it feels safe enough to not bolt on sight
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
It's actually kinda funny that the connection between minotaurs and labyrinths manifests in such a way in D&D that they have the ability to find their way out of any maze
When the original capital M Minotaur's entire deal was that he was trapped in the labyrinth
594 notes
·
View notes
Text
Unconscious
In which everyone goes for a walk and Razmatazz has a hair trigger reaction when startled
~~~
Razmatazz squeaked and flinched backwards. He stumbled over his tail and fell, clutching the ragged piece of wood he called a staff to his chest.
As he hit the ground, he flung out a spell that slammed everyone backwards.
Silence in the wake of the crash of thunder that reverberated along the road.
“Damn, Raz,” Chant said. “Are you alright?” She helped him back to his feet.
“Yes, I – I think so.” Razmatazz adjusted his hat, pushing the wide brim back so he could see before him. “Oh dear.”
Five people – two humans, an elf, a gnome, and a tabaxi – were sprawled, scattered and flung back in an arc from where Razmatazz stood.
“Are they – I didn’t kill them, did I?”
Chant poked at one of the humans with her cane; he groaned in response. “Naw, just out for the count.”
“Oh, that – that’s good.” Razmatazz let out a sigh of relief and relaxed his tight grip on his staff, walking forward to examine the gnome.
“Why?” Karo asked. “They planned the same for us.”
“Well–” Razmatazz didn’t really have an answer so much as an uneasy feeling.
“Murder bad, Karo,” Chant said, a teasing lilt to her voice. “Right, Tosh?”
“Right!” The eladrin – Summer guise, all yellow tones and spiky hair – threw Chant a salute. “We have to leave the world better than we found it.”
“Doesn’t that mean clearing out those that would do harm?” Karo crouched to disarm the group.
The gnome was slight and well-groomed, dressed in what looked to be expensive gear. The back of his head was damp with blood where he’d hit the ground.
“Everyone deserves a chance, Karo,” Tosh said, sounding reproachful. “How will they learn otherwise?”
“And if they do not wish to learn? If the harm they cause is intentional.”
“I wouldn’t have come if you were just going to start on ethics,” Chant muttered, pulling the tabaxi to the edge of the path.
Razmatazz giggled as he tried to help, lifting the gnome partially into his arms and dragging him after Chant.
“Should I not have given you a chance? Should we not have given Chant a chance?”
“Hey, leave me out of this,” Chant called. “But for the record, I appreciate it.”
Tosh giggled. “See?”
“Chant agreeing for her own sake is not the endorsement you think it is.”
“Well excuse me,” Chant muttered to Razmatazz as she passed him with the elf. “Here.” She put the elf down and helped him take the gnome the last few steps.
The gnome groaned as they set him down, blinking.
Razmatazz squeaked and hit him with his staff.
Chant snorted. “We should probably make tracks.”
“That – that seems wise.” Razmatazz nodded.
“Yeah, they’re gonna be mad when they wake up.”
“Serves them right for attacking us just because Raz is a goblin.” Tosh patted his shoulder. “That was unnecessary of them.”
“They will not learn from a sore head,” Karo said, eyeing the unconscious party as they passed. “They might be angrier. They might come after us.”
“Yeah, and then we can fuck ‘em up proper.” Chant swung her cane over her shoulders and winked at Karo. “And if they die in that attempt, well. We gave them a chance.”
Karo laughed.
“Phorg would agree with me,” Tosh said. “I’ll ask it when we catch up.”
“What does Newt think?”
“Newt thinks–” Tosh tilted her head to listen to the mouse on her shoulder- “that we should have taken their supplies,” she sighed. “And left a note.”
Razmatazz listened with half an ear to the conversation, drifting to the edge of the group. The immediate judgement wasn’t something he was a stranger to, but every so often…
Newt squeaked in his ear, nibbling at strands of his hair to get his attention.
“Thank you,” he said gravely, smiling slightly. “I suppose that they don’t really matter.”
Newt nodded, sitting back on her haunches.
Razmatazz puffed out a breath at his fringe, not doing more than ruffling it.
Newt squeaked some more, flicking her tail into her paws.
“Is that so?” Razmatazz asked, as if he could understand her. “That’s quite the bold claim.”
“Melitele’s tits, Raz, save me.” Chant dropped into step beside him. “Can you knock me out? Just for a bit?”
“And drag you in the dust behind me?”
“Well – leave me at the roadside, I’ll catch up later. Or never.” Chant shrugged. “Better than these two–”
She was interrupted by Tosh’s bright laughter, and the young Eladrin darted past them. She flung herself through a cartwheel and came up grinning.
“Who won?” Chant asked.
“She argues a successful point.” Karo spread their wings.
“Oh, how does that feel? Does it hurt to admit?”
Tosh changed her form, becoming a bluebird and darting up into the open sky.
Karo didn’t respond to Chant before they followed Tosh into the air.
“Well.”
Razmatazz grabbed at his hat to stop it blowing away.
“Now it’s just the two of us.”
Newt squeaked, turning in a circle.
“The three of us, my apologies,” Chant said, flicking Newt’s tail.
Razmatazz giggled as Newt ran down the length of his arm and onto his staff.
She leapt, changed forms, and was a hawk soaring after the others in an instant.
“I was right, then.” Chant grinned. “Just the two of us.”
“No finer company,” Razmatazz replied, once he was sure the others wouldn’t be able to hear. “Unless you would still like me to knock you unconscious?” He grinned up at her.
Chant laughed and pushed the brim of his hat down over his eyes. “Impertinent whelp.”
Razmatazz ducked free and pushed his hat back above his eyes.
They walked farther down the path, until Chant shaded her eyes and squinted.
“I think I see Phorg.” She glanced down at Razmatazz and grinned, picking him up. “See?”
Razmatazz squeaked and grabbed at her horn to steady himself. He peered forward. There was a rise to the path that he couldn’t have seen over from his own height, but up here he could see Phorg ambling along the path towards them.
“It is.” Razmatazz nodded. “Um. Could you put me down?”
Ahead of them, Karo dived to meet Phorg, Newt and Tosh on their tail.
Phorg straightened up and waved to them, waiting for Karo to land before it started walking again.
“Guess we’ll be turning around.” Chant didn’t set Razmataz down. “Do you think that group will still be out for the count?”
“Maybe they will have moved on.”
“If they haven’t, can I have a shot at thumping them? You took them out too quickly.” Chant grinned.
“After Tosh’s speech on letting people change?”
“Oh, I’ll explain first if that makes you feel better. I’ll even let the others take turns.”
Razmatazz laughed. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Chant shrugged. “What else are friends for, if not knocking out the people that insult you?”
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think a lot of folks in indie RPG spaces misunderstand what's going on when people who've only ever played Dungeons & Dragons claim that indie RPGs are categorically "too complicated". Yes, it's sometimes the case that they're making the unjustified assumption that all games are as complicated as Dungeons & Dragons and shying away from the possibility of having to brave a steep learning cure a second time, but that's not the whole picture.
A big part of it is that there's a substantial chunk of the D&D fandom – not a majority by any means, but certainly a very significant minority – who are into D&D because they like its vibes or they enjoy its default setting or whatever, but they have no interest in actually playing the kind of game that D&D is... so they don't.
Oh, they'll show up at your table, and if you're very lucky they might even provide their own character sheet (though whether it adheres to the character creation guidelines is anyone's guess!), but their actual engagement with the process of play consists of dicking around until the GM tells them to roll some dice, then reporting what number they rolled and letting the GM figure out what that means.
Basically, they're putting the GM in the position of acting as their personal assistant, onto whom they can offload any parts of the process of play that they're not interested in – and for some players, that's essentially everything except the physical act of rolling the dice, made possible by the fact most of D&D's mechanics are either GM-facing or amenable to being treated as such.*
Now, let's take this player and present them with a game whose design is informed by a culture of play where mechanics are strongly player facing, often to the extent that the GM doesn't need to familiarise themselves with the players' character sheets and never rolls any dice, and... well, you can see where the wires get crossed, right?
And the worst part is that it's not these players' fault – not really. Heck, it's not even a problem with D&D as a system. The problem is D&D's marketing-decreed position as a universal entry-level game means that neither the text nor the culture of play are ever allowed to admit that it might be a bad fit for any player, so total disengagement from the processes of play has to be framed as a personal preference and not a sign of basic incompatibility between the kind of game a player wants to be playing and the kind of game they're actually playing.
(Of course, from the GM's perspective, having even one player who expects you to do all the work represents a huge increase to the GM's workload, let alone a whole group full of them – but we can't admit that, either, so we're left with a culture of play whose received wisdom holds that it's just normal for GMs to be constantly riding the ragged edge of creative burnout. Fun!)
* Which, to be clear, is not a flaw in itself; a rules-heavy game ideally needs a mechanism for introducing its processes of play gradually.
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Alternative alignment chart ideas
Lawful Chaotic - has a complicated moral code but no one can tell what it is
Chaotic Lawful - Malicious Compliance
Chaotic Frustrated - the guy who made an exit sign that was up to code and used by Caltran for 8 years cause he was tired of missing his exit
Chaotic Tired - when you're so exhausted the stupid all comes out in unpredictable ways
Lawful Bastard - like Lawful Chaotic but smug about it
Lawful Himbo - A good boy, if a little confused
Neutral Horny - no shirt no shoes just right
Neutral Mom friend - dnfag about anyone except their found family
Neutral Nonhuman - stop trying to apply human morals to nonhumans
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why do Goblins have to eat trash? Why can’t goblin cuisine simply have a strong emphasis on fermentation and controlled spoilage?
Like fermentation stinks to high heaven and you typically hide it away in dark and cool places. It fits lore wise for a creature that lives in a cave and is described as unclean.
Anyway this has been food for thought
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
Book Titles for Your D&D Bookshop
Players exploring a bookstore, library, or snooping in the shelves of someone's house? Need a quick bit of flavor to describe their findings? Roll as many d10 as you like!
The content of these books is totally up to the individual, of course. Take them as a bit of inspiration if you're put on the spot!
Children's
Francis the Flumph Finds a Friend
Trees of Green, Red Roses Blue
The ABCs of Elvish (or any other language as you prefer!)
The Tower That Struck the Clouds
Collected Fairy Tales of the Sisters Cheer
A Dance of Fairy Dragons
The Tale of the Witchwood
Fair Prince Elim
I Wish, I Wish
Roundleaf and Redbark
Horror/Mystery
Tenth Hell
The Day the Sky Moved Closer
The Puppetmaster
The Bell Signals Death
End of the Road
Drums in the Deep
The Flightless Dark
The Bloodless Dagger
The Shadow Behind the Sun
Trap Door Vampire
Instructional books
Turnips Twenty Ways
Mushrooms: Should You Eat Those, and if Yes, Would It Be Funny?
Field Guide to Cool Rocks
Tinker, Tailor, Cobbler, Smith
Understanding the Pauper's Gambit
Sand, Mud, Ice: Tracking Animals Through the Seasons (with illustrations)
Healing Cuts & Curing Pains
Accords: Music as a Tool for Diplomacy
Angling for Success
Donning and Doffing Armor on Your Own
Magic
Basic Principles of Transmutation
Mirrors, Puddles, and Archways: Gates to the Unknown
Warding Your Home
Magical Properties of Common Herbs
The Perils of Force
Ethical Concerns about Coercive Magic
Cosmology of the Inner Planes
Identifying Enchantments
Magical Venom & Poisons
Cautionary Tales of Magical Experimentation
Non-fiction
The Golden Reign of [ruler]
Tales of the [name of ocean]
Memoir of the Dragonborn
The Road to [famous city]
Visitable Inns, Taverns, & Holes-In-the-Walls of [country]
Exploring the [cardinal direction] Wilds
Conversations with the [people] of [location]
Inventions of [name of person]
A History of Gnomish Cuisine
Fallout of the [descriptor] War
Pardon the lack of specifics here, but I feel that non-fiction titles should be tailored to each individual setting, otherwise they might seem very out of place! See similar entries for the 'Spirituality/Religion' category at the bottom.
Poetry
The Collected Works of Troels F. Treebor
Dark Side of the Stars
The Final Waltz
Featherlight
Hammersong
Impatience of the Hungering Soul
Tell Me No More Stories And I'll Tell You No Lies
Eighty Kinds of Gold
Foundling
The Epic of the Alabaster Queen
Romance
Winter's Night, Summer's Morn
Sleepless Among the Fair Folk
Sweet Little Lies
Fathomless Passion: Captured by the Drow
Fly Me to the Fourth Moon
Perky Peaks
Desperate Measures
Frigid Touches: Melting the Heart of the Ice Maiden
Blessed Curse
Rose Red
Spirituality/Religion
The Moon's Love
Houses of Healing
Temples of [location or divinity]
Night Embrace You
Channeling the Divine
Symbology of [popular deity]
Three Times Are A Sign
A Treatise on Good & Evil
Communion with [deity]
Principles of the [group descriptor] Belief System
883 notes
·
View notes
Text
Given how wizards are themed around higher education, with their universities and ivory towers, I wanna see more fiction that goes into their published papers.
Like, there should be massive drama in the Wizarding world about how Fantasy Wikipedia says "There's no consensus about the origins of skydoves" when in fact, there very much is, everyone knows they were created in the first or second dragon wars, and that's uncontroversial. One single wizard at the University of Towers who thinks they're an offshoot of mermaids DOES NOT MEAN IT'S AN OPEN ISSUE.
Papers that are rebuttals to other magical discoveries. Like, look, that spell just won't work, and you can't call it a "theoretical exercise" just to cover up the fact that you've not been able to cast it. You can't combine Ichthyomancy with completely unrelated elemental summonings, that's just not how magic works, in all due respect.
Thesis defense would be significantly scarier when all your reviewers can cast Everburning Fireball on your ass.
Learning Theoretical Evocation from a hungover lizardman TA at 8am, because the professor for this course has been off on the Elemental Plane of Circles for half the semester trying to finish her paper on how Centaurs predate horses rather than the other way around.
Speaking of which, the life of a wizard graduate student... You keep getting called to go on "quests" which are just overgrown research expeditions to help out some professor's project. You spent nearly a month in that damp castle capturing all the spinfrogs you could find, all to help your professor's project on the possibilities of concentrated soul essences. To this day, you still get dizzy whenever you see battlements, let alone a donjon.
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
In another universe doctors are actually evil druids but cant be outright so they write in outrageously confusing handwriting and the pharmacy staff are good druids who can either read that hand writing or can't and are just unintentionally saving people
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
What are some chronic illnesses that can only occur in a fantasy setting?
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
What people think D&D wizards are like:
What D&D wizards are actually like:
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello it's a dnd focus weekend! Dorks is also up if you want more info! Them up there are from the oneshots, but y'know, everything is fair game ^^
Weekend WIP Game - DnD Edition
Here's the DnD edition of the weekend game!
Scenes are numbered etc, not necessarily in chronological order just in. uh. alphabetical order in obsidian...? it's all good I know where they are
The WIPS
Dumb of Ass, Snake of Tits (local dragonborn monk leaves the monastery, instantly falls in with the wrong crowd, somehow sticks the landing. Characters; Maverick, Nelaeryn, Venphina, Tosh (Temerity, Aria)). Scenes in progress; 16
Hunter’s Mark (local tiefling ranger gets hired to track down a company asset, ends up in the revenge business. Characters; Temerity, Aria (Maverick, Nelaeryn)). Scenes in progress; 3
The Many Lives of Makaria Trapeiros (local tiefling gets betrayed by her family, swears vengeances, wreaks vengeance, falls in love, fakes her death, runs away. Characters: Makaria/Luci/Chant, Pahzrasi, Lathlaeril, Telbi, Amos, Carbonne, Tosh, Karo (Maverick, Nelaeryn)). Scenes in progress; 7
The Ol' Razzle Dazzle (local goblin escapes a cult, learns magic, makes friends. Characters; Razmatazz, Maja Grothuul). Scenes in progress; 2
The Games
Three by Threes: For each filename you receive in your ask box, reply to the ask with 3+ NEW sentences on that WIP.
Lore Corner: Answer questions about your WIP. It can be anything from headcanons to backstory that you have for your WIP that don’t even make it into the fic. Askers - get creative with your questions!
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Inspired by recent discussions of an Actual Play.
19K notes
·
View notes