engaginge in mortal kombat against a leaf on this otherwise peacefule summer morninge
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I finally made the meme I've had in my head for over a year
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no offense but if i exit out of a program that program should close. none of that running in the background shit.
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You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
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Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this
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FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.
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Highlights from the conference room where they nominated contenders for Word of the Year 2023:
• They put Skibidi Toilet on the projector to explain what “skibidi” means.
• Baby Gronk was mentioned.
• We discussed the Rizzler.
• “Cunty” was nominated.
• “Enshittification” was suggested for EVERY category.
• “Blue Check” (like from Twitter) was briefly defined as “Someone who will not Shut The Fuck Up”
• The person writing notes briefly defined babygirl as “referencing [The Speaker]”. He is now being called babygirl in the linguist groupchats.
• MULTIPLE people raised their hand to say “I cannot stress this enough: ‘Babygirl’ refers to a GROWN MAN”
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one time when I was a barista I was telling my coworker that I suddenly really missed cows. I used to work with cows all the time back home and then I moved away and suddenly it had been four years and nary a cow.
15 minutes later this old guy came up to the counter with his address written on a napkin & he said “me and my wife have a whole herd of dexters and a couple of new calves. come on over any time”
so after work I was like ok fuck it & I drove to the address and I parked at the gate & I walked down the driveway to the barn and this woman was like “oh my husband told me you might stop by! come see our cows” and she introduced me to every single cow. made my whole week.
thank you cow couple
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why do we always have to ship characters as in love why does no one have divorce headcanons
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we used to get prescribed a summer on the seaside. now we just get told to go touch grass. the economy is in shambles
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Anaïs Nin, from The Voice
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Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange
Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!
Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!
And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.
Last place is still a place, baby.
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