just got back from my first shift as a welder. i have a beam attack now

I love how the tumbr experience is just assuming that everyone has seen the exact same viral meme without actually all sharing the exact viral meme, but only tangentially related memes.

You do not want to know the weird lengths I had to go to in order to figure out why all my mutuals are blogging about walruses and fairies.

frog chair

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

Relevant as ever

Meet the Robinsons art dump ❤️

A few of these I referenced vintage illustrations by Al Parker and Bob Peak!

birbs

I’ve never been so taken out by a response

The only retail job I miss is being the cashier at a local Hardware Store in a small town surrounded by other small towns, because I was essentially a high fantasy GuildMaster.

I worked there three summers in a row, and every laborer from every nearby town would come there for whatever supplies they needed, and man could they gossip like there was an Olympic medal for it.

At 8 AM, every morning, every plumber, roofer, electrician, and landscaper in the county was at the door waiting for me to unlock it, and they’d come back throughout the day.

I knew every tradesman in a 30 miles radius, and I knew too much about everyone in town because of, like I said, the tradesman gossip. It’s shocking that people basically tune out an entire person in their living room and say whatever they want, because they don’t see the guy fixing their light fixture as real somehow.

Then your average citizens, the townsfolk, would come in to ask for labor recommendations. The cashier at the local hardware store is a god among yelp reviews.

A woman needs her roof repaired. A man wants central air installed in his 100 year old house. Someone needs to break into a safe they inherited without the combination.

And I would make recommendations. I’d take down names and information so when a plumber I liked walked in an hour later, I could say, “come here, I have a job for you” like I needed them to clear a village of Redcaps.

There is no difference between your local mom-and-pop hardware employee and Greed Karga sending the Mandalorian on bounty hunting jobs.

If Geralt of Rivia walked in, I could have found him something to do.

I believe all plumbers dual-wield drain snakes and arcane magic, because you’d be surprised how often Liches come up in septic tank repairs.

You can belong to a monster hunters’ guild and a welders’ union, if you have the time. Always good to diversify your portfolio.

The remake reboot prequel sequel industrial complex is killing me but the good thing is I don't have to watch any of that. I can just think "that sounds boring or otherwise doesn't interest me in any way" and do something other than watch it

goat fight. non-negotiable.

my problem as a writer and as a roleplayer is that I always want characters to do that thing where you hold your hand out, palm to the ground, and kind of tilt it quickly left and right to express uncertainty or a "kinda-sorta"/"yes and no" vibe. but I don't know an official term for this so I always just call it the Noncommittal Hand Waggle

This site: What the fuck is with all these animated shows getting terrible live-action remakes? We should start remaking live action media as cartoons to balance the scales.

The monkey's paw: *curls one finger*

I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.

He’s listing off all the reasons as to why he’s not a Frootloop