Wakaba Higuchi, Skyfall (2017-2018 Free Skate) ↳ “ We will stand tall.. / Face it all… together… ”

my drums teacher apparently played ice hockey for 5 years and told me yesterday how hard it would be for me to learn figure skating at my age and like... sure, as if i dont know :') but i still think that this "it gets harder to learn sth new with age" is, in most cases, very exaggerated and mostly refers to the fact that adults often dont have the time & energy to learn new stuff, not that they do not have the capacity for it! im not saying fs is gonna be super easy to learn... i dont think that either. but i definitely think that itll be easier for me than some people think, if i really try. maybe also because i still feel like im 15? its stupid, but i honestly believe that me not really feeling like the adult i am and honestly, also not acting like it, has positive effects in this case lmao

my "first lesson" is next wednesday- not even really fs, just "regular" skating i guess, as they were very adamant to specify in the course description, but there isnt anything like a real figure skating class for adults here, only a group lesson, and i didnt want to go there OR to the beginners classes for three year olds and up... at least not this season. i actually wouldnt mind being together with smaller kids that much? i thought about doing that when the next season starts, at least until im good enough to have a coach to myself (idk) anyway... on the one hand, i feel weird because for this course, im not that much of a beginner? being taught to skate backwards and to stop will be good, though, and im still convinced im gonna make it to backwards crossovers in these five weeks. and on the other hand, i still feel like im overestimating myself and i should stop with all this bullshit and go back to what i know im good at? but... i want to learn something new, and fs just seems like the perfect opportunity to combine some things i love to do that i cant regularly explore in my other hobbies/ things i do (like: actually having a goal when working out apart from being thin or w/e because that has never motivated me, just, having a challenge, something i strive for, that is actually challenging for me, something that i have to change for and dedicate myself, and ultimately, maybe, performing, thinking up a piece of art where everything is included, where i am a kind of art myself, and competing, which is obviously years off but still) just. i keep swinging between being really motivated like yes!! look here, i want to be able to do this, and i can practice every day to get there, and then one day i will be able to sew myself a costume and express myself through rhythmical movement to music in front of people who can analyse my performance! and then being like ugh. i wont be able to do it anyways, i was never satisfied with my performances in ballet and i did that for over a decade, what am i even expecting? itll be shitty. i should stop. but like... i dont want to stop. im gonna try my best. and if i have to put myself through a lot of judging eyes that will probably only be a little better because of the fact that i look 15... then so be it.