Sometimes at work you repair people’s microwaves. Sometimes you become the god of an ancient people. And you don’t even get hazard pay because there’s no such thing as pay. You’re there because you like repairing the microwaves.

may i share with you the best video on the internet

🙁?

I love a fictional criminal with a complicated and tragic backstory as much as the next nerd, but there's something to be said for "criminals" where it's legitimately unclear what crimes they're actually committing because they spend most of their screen time having slapstick car chases with comically inept trench-coated police inspectors.

im hunting americans

The plot structures of movies need to start taking more cues from classic opera. Open with a fucker in a hat who directly addresses the audience and explains what's going on in a way that raises far more questions than it answers, then immediately drop the viewer into the middle of a shouting argument between three of the weirdest people you can possibly imagine.

"con artist" is maybe the profession with the biggest gap between How Cool They Are In Media and How Cool They Are In Real Life

Computer show me the "big one"

the work printer cries out, "no stop, that's too much! youre gonna make me jam!" as i load a full ream into her tray, but it's too late. "see, you can take it. you're doing such a good job for me." i coo into her feeding tray as i begin printing the morning reports. her warning lights turn red as she moans in i assume ecstacy

love it when a nondog baby animal is called a pup anyway

hhhrk. gggrrrg. *changes several core aspects of your personality when you’re not looking*

the face behind the blog

Of course it goes without saying that I am hopelessly dependent on the ingot

costco should sell weed i want to smoke kirkland signature strain