Tumgik
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
I for one find wizardry terribly upsetting. All these organized magic users staying in their lines and casting spells according to rules, with no horrifying and unforseen side effects. Disgusting.
Having been observing wizards more closely, I have to wonder what stage in the life cycle the university is
Do universities simply attract wizards in their larval phases? Or is it that enough mature wizards in close enough proximity will spontaneously generate a university? Perhaps the university is the evolution of the wizard’s natural Tower habitat…
37 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
The Lord's Lament
"I AM THE ANCIENT, I AM.... STANDING DRAMATICALLY ON A BALCONY STARING DOWN OVER BAROVIA MENACINGLY CAUSE IM SO EDGY"
477 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Ravenloft life tip #10: if there's a problem, profit off it.
0 notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Ravenloft life tip #9: when travelling through the mists, a record player or music box will do wonders for not being driven to insanity by the oppressively silent emptiness.
2 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Life update: I am now the proud owner of two adorable, fluffy owlbear cubs, which I have dubbed Regent Lord Cream Puff and Fluffernutter the Ferocious.
Please, for the love of the mists and all things holy, do not ask.
1 note · View note
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
It's not soup calling it soup is an affront to all food existing under that noble name.
Strahd Von Zarovich Fun Fact #2:
I’ve come to find that with what my lord has become, normal food no longer gives him any type of sustenance. Despite this, once or twice over these last few centuries I’ve caught him slipping a glass of beef juice into his daily diet. Perhaps it’s simply the powerful allure of nostalgia?
21 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
No I mean honestly all the beef broth based drinks are disgusting but warm seems extra gross. You drink your over glorified meat water, I'll be enjoying a nice glass of wine.
Strahd Von Zarovich Fun Fact #2:
I’ve come to find that with what my lord has become, normal food no longer gives him any type of sustenance. Despite this, once or twice over these last few centuries I’ve caught him slipping a glass of beef juice into his daily diet. Perhaps it’s simply the powerful allure of nostalgia?
21 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Warm? You disgust me.
Strahd Von Zarovich Fun Fact #2:
I’ve come to find that with what my lord has become, normal food no longer gives him any type of sustenance. Despite this, once or twice over these last few centuries I’ve caught him slipping a glass of beef juice into his daily diet. Perhaps it’s simply the powerful allure of nostalgia?
21 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Well, vampire or not, few can resist the siren song of the beef fizz.
Strahd Von Zarovich Fun Fact #2:
I’ve come to find that with what my lord has become, normal food no longer gives him any type of sustenance. Despite this, once or twice over these last few centuries I’ve caught him slipping a glass of beef juice into his daily diet. Perhaps it’s simply the powerful allure of nostalgia?
21 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
It occurs to me that I never posted Ravenloft life tip #1 on Tumblr, and now seems like a good time!
Bring earplugs. Everywhere. Perfect for drowning out everything from banshees to werewolves to... Rahadin's choir, apparently.
Choir practice in 30 minutes. It's a real shame no one in the household cares to hear them practice.
13 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
A very important one indeed. Followed closely by "don't put it over your shoulder" and "don't point it at yourself"
Ravenloft life tip #8: learn to fight. I believe this one should be pretty self explanatory.
13 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
All I know is that *I* was excellent when my father taught me to fight. I caught on very quickly and only hurt myself a couple times before I figured out sword safety.
Ravenloft life tip #8: learn to fight. I believe this one should be pretty self explanatory.
13 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Ravenloft life tip #8: learn to fight. I believe this one should be pretty self explanatory.
13 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Currently on vacation. Please forward my mail to:
S. Detritus
A cave
Very tall mountain
Faerun
0 notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
All the paint in Barovia is lead based.
"Today I visited the village of Barovia.......what a sesspool. You're a town named after me, put some pride into where you live.......or at least a new coat of paint!"
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Actually, forgotten by Strahd is probably the ideal relation to have with him, given the track record for literally everyone he knows.
Wotc in 5e @barov-von-zarovich
🤝
Denying the existence of @thatothervonzarovich
12 notes · View notes
detritusgoods · 1 year
Text
Today only: anyone who helps me decorate the caravan with an obscene amount of tacky string lights without compromising its functionality gets 20% off their next order!
0 notes