derpknight94
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Thinking about the JL finding out that Bruce has contingency plans for all of his kids and being horrified. But when the League asks them about it, all the kids are like “yeah! we actually all have them for each other just in case” and move on like it’s perfectly normal to have three different ways to take out your brother on hand (for emergencies).
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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.
Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"
Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."
*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*
Batman: ...
Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*
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Jason: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?
Tim: ... Yes.
Jason: I was hula hooping. *shows pictures* Rose and I take a class for fitness and fun.
Tim: Why are you telling me this?
Jason: Because... no one will ever believe you. *deletes pictures*
Tim: You sick son of a bitch.
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A really random Batfamily HC I like to think about is Dick winning the Olympics a few years ago, never telling anyone, and all hell breaking loose when they find out.
Jason: You did not win gold in the Olympics.... Say sike, right now.
Dick: I'm not saying sike. I did win.
Tim: How? You're too famous, you'd be recognized!
Bruce: And more importantly, what about your secret identity?!
Dick: I wore a prosthetic nose, and entered under a fake name.
Stephanie: Do you have proof of that? And maybe a picture of that nose by any chance?
Dick: It was broadcast on television in over two hundred countries, I'm sure you could find it pretty easy.
Bruce: Back to the fake name-
Dick: It wasn't hard to make an alias, I just did what we do for undercover jobs.
Tim: You used my program without telling me!
Dick: I asked! You said I could.
Tim: I did? Ohhh...yeah, now that you mention it I think I vaguely remember you saying something about going to England and needing a new ID a few years ago.
Jason: You did all of that, just to...perform? Just...just because you wanted to?
Dick: ...Yeah, pretty much. I still have the medal sitting on a shelf in my apartment and a picture of me with some other competitors hanging on the wall.
Alfred: I for one, appreciated finally getting to see the Olympics from the front row. And in my own country, no less.
Bruce: What- what does that mean? Tell me you did not go with him to the Olympics...
Alfred: I was his accompaniment for the event. It was quite a good time.
Bruce: Dick...
Dick: What? He said he always wanted to go!
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nightwing being hurt in the field, and over comms he can’t get out what was wrong, nearly in shock, and jason puts on his best batman™️ voice and says “robin, report.”
and it snaps dick out of it enough to say concussion, possible broken ribs, and a gash in his side.
no one talks about it, and then a year later, damian does the same thing to tim
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If chocolate Easter bunnies were alive the last few moments of their lives would be terrifying to say the least.
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Izuku: W-What’s that sound?
Hawks: It’s the wind. It’s speaking to us.
Todoroki: What’s it saying?
Hawks: Hell if I know, I don’t speak wind.
Izuku and Todoroki:
Bakugo: How are you in charge of us?
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Izuku: I think I did great for our first concert. No mistakes made.
Bakugo: No mistakes-You literally weren’t there for the first ten minutes.
Izuku: Or was everyone else ten minutes too early?
Bakugo:
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Charlie: If I fall…
Vaggie: I’ll be there to catch you.
Angel: *looks at Husk* What if I fall?
Husk: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.
Lucifer: *watches these two interactions*
Lucifer, to Alastor: And if I fall?
Alastor: I’ll be the one who pushed you.
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Alfred: They broke seven of your ribs and fractured your clavicle.
Tim: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.
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Obi-Wan: “Did you know that Anakin is still alive?”
Bail: “Skywalker? No way! There’s no way that Anakin Skywalker lived for twenty years without getting on at least half of the galaxy’s nerves or being the most dramatic man in the room or without fighting a ten-year-old or oh my heavens he’s Darth Vader, isn’t he?”
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Bakugo, drunk screaming across the bar: OI KIRISHIMA!
Kirishima, also drunk: YEAH BRO?!
Bakugo: WHEN I DIE, TAKE THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS OFF MY CASKET AND THROW IT IN THE CROWD TO SEE WHO’LL BE NEXT!
Kirishima: YOU GOT IT DUDE! WOO!
Class 1-A:
Izuku, sitting next to Bakugo: That’s what I want to hear on date night.
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Damian: Father will come up with something.
Bruce: I will try, but despite what you all may think I am not Superman.
Jason: Was anyone seriously thinking that?
Tim: No.
Dick: Never.
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Izuku: Kacchan, you’re being dramatic.
Bakugo: Shut up, Deku! I mean it, when I die, I better be looking down and see everyone bawling their eyes out!
Izuku:...Looking down?
Bakugo:
Izuku:
Bakugo: Screw you, I’m not going to hell.
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[video game tournament]
Jason: I am crushing it. I’ve never played so well. I’m burying you.
Damian: You realize you’re the top half of the screen?
Jason:
Jason: NOOO!
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REblog if you are Asexual, support Asexuals, or spend most of your time actually thinking about Superheroes.
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