the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week

jughead's toxic little polycule ending explained

a selection of my bg3 save file names:

fuck the bear 8(

i put my box in a different box

oh no auntie ethel

DEAD FROG

whatsisname murder flashpoint

laezel please lie better

don't fry my brain

fear

shhhhhh

do not give them the magic worm d20

this is a very fragile lesbian

TWIRL WITH ABANDON

wyll sorry i killed you as a zombie

oh wow shadowheart i love your cult

what a mean rat

gale you're MY melancholy wizard

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

oh boy i start my job as a wound man tomorrow can't wait to be stabbed, sliced, slashed, lacerated, eviscerated, bludgeoned, cudgeled, beaten with rods, beaten with irons, shot with arrows, shot with cannons, have spears thrown into me, have spears thrown through me, impaled on spikes, flayed, flensed, boiled, shot with arrows again, and have rocks dropped on my head

aaand the oathbreaker police have appeared within less than an hour to let me know that we need to have a talk about the definition of "oath of devotion"

great news all I just made a Lancelot in Baldur's Gate 3 and he rolled a critical fail on his very first intelligence check. then he ripped out a man's brain.

I also gave him the Dark Urge background (obviously) so he spontaneously has ambient dialogue like:

"intestines... throb... blood... whispers"

fantasies about cutting off a stranger's arm turned into realities and was called "rabid, pained, and sick," to which I replied "overwhelming violent desires fester in my skull"

which I actually think is all canonical to the vulgate cycle

great news all I just made a Lancelot in Baldur's Gate 3 and he rolled a critical fail on his very first intelligence check. then he ripped out a man's brain.

I also gave him the Dark Urge background (obviously) so he spontaneously has ambient dialogue like:

"intestines... throb... blood... whispers"

that's my boy

great news all I just made a Lancelot in Baldur's Gate 3 and he rolled a critical fail on his very first intelligence check. then he ripped out a man's brain.

I also gave him the Dark Urge background (obviously) so he spontaneously has ambient dialogue like:

"intestines... throb... blood... whispers"

great news all I just made a Lancelot in Baldur's Gate 3 and he rolled a critical fail on his very first intelligence check. then he ripped out a man's brain.

I also gave him the Dark Urge background (obviously) so he spontaneously has ambient dialogue like:

"intestines... throb... blood... whispers"

hi sorry s'cuse me but were NONE OF YOU GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT BLACK BOOKS OF HOURS???

LOOK AT THIS MAGNIFICENT GOTH-ASS SHIT

EGADDDDDDD

THE IRON-COPPER SOLUTION USED TO DYE THE PAGES WAS SO CORROSIVE THAT THERE ARE VERY FEW SURVIVING EXAMPLES

THESE BOOKS WERE LITERALLY TOO METAL TO LIVE

i can't

My favorite rejected New Yorker submission

hey important question which knight do you think would be a swiftie.i ask this with derogatory intentions.

thank you i answer with derogatory intentions as well. it brings me no joy to say that the answer is gareth