derekashleystephanie
????? with ED
Diagnosed eating disorder, & CPTSD. They don’t know whether my personalities/voices come from cptsd, did or psychosis..
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Why the fuck
is the quality of my day based off if I eat or not!!
I get so depressed after I eat
SO WHY THE FUCK DO I STILL EAT
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“But your body deserves to be nourished”
My gigantic mass of fat does not deserve anything 😭
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2024 is my year
- I will be skinny
- I will have control
- I will be beautiful
- I will reach my ugw
- I will have everything I want
🩷🩷🩷
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i want people to talk about how skinny i’ve gotten behind my back
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They don’t like me because I’m fat.
They don’t talk to me because I’m fat.
They don’t include me because I’m fat.
They are disgusted with me because I’m fat.
They lie to me because I’m fat.
Because I’m fat.
Because I’m fat.
BECAUSE I’M FAT.
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“you don’t look like you have an eating disorder”
i never said i was good at it
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A thing that really annoys me is how passive weightloss is. Not eating seems so damn easy, like how am I struggling to NOT do something!?
But also the fact that I can't speed things up, I have to wait to see results of ☆ving. Just passing time and waiting for the day to pass just for another day to feel the exact same takes a mental toll on me fr.
( Yes, I could actively work out to burn calories, but I don't have the energy/space/time for it atm don't come for me )
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it's crazy how disgusting i feel right now
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if you're looking at some food and doubting yourself if you should eat it or not, the answer is no
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Why does it feel so exciting to be back at this? To know I'm gonna lose so much weight? Why does my brain get happy whenever I go back to my old habits?
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the skinner i feel the more confidence i grow😚
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I don't think it's even about the aesthetic anymore. I just don't want to be 211lbs again
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