Do you know how Steven Universe was a show about a seemingly-prototypical Saturday-morning cartoon kid hero who, under the prototypical conditions of his genre, eventually internalized a deeply unhealthy model of himself as a problem solver and utilitarian object, valuable only in terms of his ability to live up to the expectations of his role? And you know how that show had an entire wind-down season about how the mindset that carried Steven through the first five conventional seasons left him totally adrift and unprepared for “civilian life,” how he’d been inadvertently left without the most basic skill set for existing as his own person independent of a larger heroic goal? Because there was just never time to squeeze it in? Well, if you take away the part where his guardians did that on accident instead of on purpose, as a deliberate lever of control, and if you let that kid age out of his cute, photogenic adolescence into an upper-middle-age to which the audience is much less reflexively sympathetic, and if you take away the part where anything was ever okay again for anyone ever, well. You're sort of getting within swinging distance of the lens through which I view Eidolon

>be me, pizza guy in shittiest port town on Earth Bet

>terrible tips and get robbed for pizza so often I have honest to god decoy pizzas

>get called to deliver to this weird old warehouse like three times a week and have to roll the dice on how it's gonna go

>there's this whole Burger King Kid's Club worth of diverse teenagers that live there and I never know who I'm gonna get

>worst kid there is the one that answers the door 90% of the time. I hate this little fucking shit

>black haired boy. Dainty little prince pretty boy type. Always the one who calls the orders in, and always gives some stupid ass fake name like he's fucking Bart Simpson. "I.C. Weiner" and "I.P. Freely." That kind of shit.

>like half the time I think I'm delivering a depression-meal since he's dressed like he just woke up, and I'd feel bad except he makes some smartass remark every time, and since I see him every other goddamn day, it's almost always the same joke. Also tries to get free pizza by saying it's 30 minutes or free, except no one has done that program since like 1993, so he's pulling shit from tv. I don't need a fucking comedy routine from a kid in cookie monster pajama pants. Bad tipper. Whatever cash he has in his pocket.

>he's on the shitlist because, and I don't know how the fuck he does this, but every time the pizza is "late", this fucking kid trips me somehow. Or I drop my phone or the pizza bag or keys. Swear to god this kid has Home Alone tripwires or something.

>and every time it happens. Every fucking time. This little bastard says "have a nice trip."

>would say he's a cape, but every cape I've ever met has had some kind of presence, and I'm not giving that much credit to someone with a four-hair teenage mustache

>hate this smug little fucker and I'd have him blacklisted if this fucking building and its weird teenage polycule didn't make up like 50% of our orders for the neighborhood. 0/10, I hope you die

>be me, Brockton Bay pizza man. Deliver to welding building. Name on order is "Dick Hardly." Little prince opens the door. He has a sidekick. Black girl counterpart. They give me matching shit-eating grins. I hate my fucking job.

>be me, pizza guy in shittiest port town on Earth Bet

>terrible tips and get robbed for pizza so often I have honest to god decoy pizzas

>get called to deliver to this weird old warehouse like three times a week and have to roll the dice on how it's gonna go

>there's this whole Burger King Kid's Club worth of diverse teenagers that live there and I never know who I'm gonna get

>worst kid there is the one that answers the door 90% of the time. I hate this little fucking shit

>black haired boy. Dainty little prince pretty boy type. Always the one who calls the orders in, and always gives some stupid ass fake name like he's fucking Bart Simpson. "I.C. Weiner" and "I.P. Freely." That kind of shit.

>like half the time I think I'm delivering a depression-meal since he's dressed like he just woke up, and I'd feel bad except he makes some smartass remark every time, and since I see him every other goddamn day, it's almost always the same joke. Also tries to get free pizza by saying it's 30 minutes or free, except no one has done that program since like 1993, so he's pulling shit from tv. I don't need a fucking comedy routine from a kid in cookie monster pajama pants. Bad tipper. Whatever cash he has in his pocket.

>he's on the shitlist because, and I don't know how the fuck he does this, but every time the pizza is "late", this fucking kid trips me somehow. Or I drop my phone or the pizza bag or keys. Swear to god this kid has Home Alone tripwires or something.

>and every time it happens. Every fucking time. This little bastard says "have a nice trip."

>would say he's a cape, but every cape I've ever met has had some kind of presence, and I'm not giving that much credit to someone with a four-hair teenage mustache

>hate this smug little fucker and I'd have him blacklisted if this fucking building and its weird teenage polycule didn't make up like 50% of our orders for the neighborhood. 0/10, I hope you die

>be me, Brockton Bay pizza man. Deliver to welding building. Name on order is "Dick Hardly." Little prince opens the door. He has a sidekick. Black girl counterpart. They give me matching shit-eating grins. I hate my fucking job.

my fake bf who eats rocks and has an attitude problem 🧡

BAANKKK HEIST PREP 🗣️🗣️🗣️

grown up sized eidolon clone baby im friends with: im an absolute jawcel. my hairline is cucked. im taking the black pill

me (frantically messaging dragon to ai generate more endbringer cocomelon): you cant be talking like that Baby Eidolon

my dealer: yeah so actually these are called “BlastoRocks” and the nugs are sentient constructs who will grind, roll, and smoke themselves. saves a ton of time, super conveni-

me: dont care. give me that “Eidolon Green Gas” or “Bakuda Bomb” or else i’m snitching on your punk ass.

my dealer: actually this is a licensed dispens-

my tattletale tulpa: he’s obviously with cauldron. you’ll never be able to take him down alone. if you give me another 10% of your brain i can manifest a friend. she’ll be able to help us out!

*there is an ominous buzzing from the back of my head*

mischaracterization of eidolon gets under my skin so badly I physically cannot have a good day if I even read one single sentence bashing him and it gets me irrationally angry

This trend but Warnessa😍❤️❤️ (he is so real)

cant have one normal conversation in this city

Some extremely questionable Mara sketches for everyone (I promise I’ll draw something actually decent once AP exams are over lol)

Likes me a man that can cook

🥰 yet another Senshi because I’m enamored w that dwarf

one subreddit I have no business following but follow anyway is /r/ApplyingtoCollege

Silly little animation because I thought of it and it was too funny to not

a quick-ish drawing of Kendra i made while re-listening to the first fablehaven book :)

tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn