demidritch
ᵗʰᵉ 𝐜𝑜𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑐 𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙.
i've got a god-shaped hole that's infected.
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standing emoji omg hi uhh long time no see </3 just wanted to pop in and say i'm alive!!
#✶ brb wrestling with a dread so ancient › out of character.#this semester has rlly been kicking my ass#ill be busy most of the day (birthday shenanigans <3)#BUT maybe(?) activity later tonight we Shall see
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big fan of characters with abandonment + attachment issues so profound that they leave claw marks in everything they touch but would sooner gnaw off their own leg than admit they just want someone to stay for once. in a totally normal well adjusted and not at all projecting way of course.
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the whispers.
dialogue prompts from the whispers by ashley audrain.
what the hell is wrong with you?
can you tell me what happened?
sometimes i feel embarrassingly unevolved.
it's amazing what you can learn about people when you're more or less invisible.
it's the things people don't want you to see that tell you the most.
i'm not ready to see you.
what would it be like if i wasn't here?
there's nothing in the world i want more than ____.
do i make you happy? is this what you want?
we don't talk about anything real anymore.
sometimes it feels like you want me to disappoint you.
what gives you the right to be so unhappy?
you're not who i thought you were.
i know you're scared, but it's going to be all right.
you're impossible to say no to.
i think having you here will help.
not everyone has the luxury of hardening into stone.
i don't want to find out something i can't unlearn.
i'm not your father.
are you sure there's nothing on your mind?
do you mind if we go to your place this time?
you don't talk much about your mom. what's she like?
motherhood is a kind of voluntary death, in a way.
i understand more about you than you think.
you want an apology, and i owe you one.
do you mean you don't know, or you don't want to tell me?
are we going to pretend it never happened?
no matter how bad things get right now, you'll find the resolve to keep going, in ways you won't expect.
look at me. you need to be honest with me.
we're going to get through this, but we need each other.
you can't possibly understand how much i love you.
you're terrified of the truth. you always have been.
i can forget who i was before. can you?
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“Your soul stained my shoulders. My whole life smells like you. This will take time. Undoing you from my blood.”
— Nayyirah Waheed, “the work”, salt.
#✶ when i show my wounds to the stars i'll be dead. › musings.#✶ father it is called. father it is not. › r. xo’vodia.
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“Girl, you need to get out of this jagged dreamscape, this forest. / Set the tree on fire, the earth on fire, yourself, everything.”
— Alexis Bates & Logan February, from “5 Second Rule” published in |tap|
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i'm just getting around to waking up, but i will not be active until tomorrow. instead, i will be over on my personal blog and other social medias in participation with the shutdown for palestine, which more information for can be found here. please take the time today to spread awareness, uplift palestinian voices, and donate if you're able.
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[fatima aamer bilal, excerpts from days where my whole world is my bed, coffin heart? bury me.]
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Possession (Andrzej Zulawski, 1981)
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CONTINUED FROM ✦ ( @handgiven )
there is a softness to him that is almost foreign, a state of being that joanne has found more difficult to emulate than they'd like to admit. when all you've ever been is sharp edges and calloused skin, gentleness was not something that came naturally. most things tended to go to shit in their hands, as if they were destined to, and so they had just stopped trying altogether. still, witnessing it being done so effortlessly, kindness embedded in his every action, was enough to make them a bit jealous.
it's what anyone would have done. his voice is as warm as a summer's day, and it takes everything in joanne to resist the urge to lean into it. it was bright, he was bright, and for a split second, they wondered what it would be like to swallow that brightness whole, to finally have a light within to call their own. it would have been nice, but the beast that stirred in the primordial darkness of their body believed otherwise.
"is that so?" glass half full, meet glass half empty. thick browns pinch together in thought, star-lit eyes boring right into emmanuel. it was hard to take his words at face value, skepticism an unfortunate core component of their being. when faced not only with a world that was cruel, but also a universe of indifference, it's damn near impossible to find the good in anything. that doesn't mean it should stop anybody else from sifting out the positives though, so kudos to him, they suppose.
"i'd like to think most people are as selfless as you believe." god only knows how much better the world would be if that were the case, if he even cared in the first place. ever cared, really. "but then again, most just... aren't. sorry, 'm making it all sound so shitty. guess it's just surprising to see someone that's a rare exception for a change."
#handgiven#✶ the stars shine as pale as bones. › in character.#hi hi!! this is perfect i love it <3 im sorry it took me so long to reply :((#first of all omg thank you?? sobbing rn!! second ive only known emmanuel for a minute and i am already holding him so gently
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FIELD DRESSING — J . L . 2023
#✶ when i show my wounds to the stars i'll be dead. › musings.#✶ father it is called. father it is not. › r. xo’vodia.
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WHAT'S YOUR UNDERLYING MOTIF?
THE DOG. whether it’s the way you bare your teeth when backed in a corner, your loyalty, or your tendency to act on instinct, your reoccurring theme is the dog.
like mitski said “i get mean when i'm nervous, like a bad dog,” or how halsey said “i won’t smile but i’ll show you my teeth,” even when migos said “dance with my dogs in the night time,” the essence of the dog runs through you. you’re tough and a quick draw on the outside, but if we got down to it we’d see you’re acting the only way you’ve ever known how. it doesn’t make you bad, survival is natural, your loyalty and determination is commendable. i don’t blame you for the way you act when your back is against a wall, but please remember to not bite the hand that feeds.
tagged by: yoinked from @talentforlying
tagging: you!! :DD
#✶ horror should have buried me. it didn’t. › character study.#i am! alive! finally finished a paper i had due </3#anyways mitski mention + dog motif! thanks uquiz (tears in my eyes)
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TAG NINE PEOPLE YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!
FAVORITE COLOR(S): any shade of purple (#1 lavender fan)
FAVORITE FLAVOR(S): sweet / spicy.
FAVORITE MUSIC: i'm not picky with music at all i love it so much. my taste runs on "if the brainworms enjoy the sound it will now be on loop for the next week."
FAVORITE MOVIE(S): nope, color out of space, the void, annihilation, the autopsy of jane doe, crimson peak, possession, & many more (<- big horror fan)
FAVORITE SERIES: not a big show watcher so these are more written / game-based medias: the sandman (1988), hellblazer (1988), swamp thing (1982), fables / TWAU, lucifer (2000), the books of magic, uzumaki, god of war, elden ring.
CURRENTLY WORKING ON: drafts!! (executive dysfunction is beating my ass)
LAST SONG: i'm your man - mitski.
LAST SERIES: it's been so long i can't even remember...
LAST MOVIE: the batman.
CURRENTLY READING: finishing up sandman.
CURRENTLY WATCHING: the witcher.
tagged by: @talentforlying tyty!! <3
tagging: you! tag me too so i can see :D
#✶ brb wrestling with a dread so ancient › out of character.#as u can all see im a vertigo/sandman fan first human being second#i cant watch shows for the life of me (unless im RLLY interested) my attention span is vv bad...
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i offer: a potential little dynamic/plotting call.
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Jenny Slate, An Interview with Jenny Slate
#✶ when i show my wounds to the stars i'll be dead. › musings.#biting back tears... when ur own worst enemy is YOU.#(slaps joanne) this Horror can fit so much guilt and loathing in it
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i offer: a potential little dynamic/plotting call.
#✶ brb wrestling with a dread so ancient › out of character.#dont be shy lets talk ab our blorbos together <3#maybe ill even do little starters between drafts...
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garden of earthly bodies.
dialogue prompts from garden of earthly bodies by sally oliver.
do you think this is a mistake?
i think you should say you changed your mind.
do you remember what we talked about?
i have endless stores of self-pity.
i feel less awful than before.
you're allowed to lose it now and again.
i don't mean to be horrible.
you can't adopt someone's pain to dilute your own.
stop being smart with me.
you'll give me a heart attack one day.
you're pushy.
life has a way of revealing the truth to you before it occurs.
how come you haven't said anything?
i wish you'd take things more seriously.
i wish i knew when i was going to die. then i could be ready for it.
i'm relieving you of your conscience, alright?
i don't want to write about it. i don't owe that to anyone.
nobody has seen your face in half a year.
i had a strange dream in the night. you were in it.
you probably won't remember most of it.
you need to look out for yourself. nobody else will.
can you stay in my room tonight? i don't want to be alone.
there's no point in being secretive.
you can't shut everyone out. one day they won't bother.
i don't think i'm really in myself.
i miss you all the time.
are you in any pain?
i'm bored of waiting for everything.
you're almost smiling again.
think more of yourself and less of others.
don't give away your thoughts. you won't get them back.
you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.
i wanted you to love me the same way i love you.
do you believe in god?
what can you not tolerate in others?
what is the quality you least like about yourself?
i love my parents, but i've never understood them.
this is the most alone i've ever felt.
i have to find something to wear.
hospitals manage despair, not disease.
it helps if you're stoned. only, don't do that.
i don't want to leave you if you're so unhappy.
watch the road, not me.
do you visit cemeteries often?
female comradeship is its own religion.
don't pull that sad, serious look you do.
i'm running out of ways to procrastinate.
i could like anything about you.
i wonder if you'll ever hate me.
life is too long and too brief.
i was always going to come home again.
you don't look like you.
you'll get back to feeling like your old self. just let it happen.
i don't even know what it means anymore. to 'be myself'.
i know who you are. i just can't believe it.
i'm not going to make this easy.
nothing is ever as sinister as you think.
i can tell something's not right.
we'll move at your pace.
i miss who i was. i don't feel like the same person anymore.
a life can end and not be over.
you had me. what about me?
#✶ in the melancholy forest dwells a sick god dreaming. › prompts.#december ended up hitting me with a brick </3#anyways happy new year!! finally have the time to settle down and be more active so here's a lil smthing while i work on drafts
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girl i am undergoing a terrifying metamorphosis
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